The Last 10 Years--- Best Things

Sneaking in a post under the gun to at least tie my 2010 rate of posts, I offer this little number at almost literally the last minute:

Here's to an excellent 2012 for everyone! (I'll be at the Rose Parade on Jan. 2nd!!! Yay!)

Collection of random milestones I appreciate from the last 10 years:

2001: visited China for the first time since leaving; "graduated" junior high and started high school...
2002: Started long string of chess victories; joined tennis
2003: discovered reality TV: Amazing Race, Survivor +....first fantasy football season ever
2004: JSA Summer at Stanford. Best finish in chess ever. SAT. Applied to Colleges
2005: Poker craze; last semester of high school awesome; Prom + WWE
2006: first summer as summer camp counselor; discovered beauty of college + trip to Germany and Poland
2007: First alternative spring break ever; Friday Night Lights + Heroes; wins class stock market game
2008: First fandom-inspired viewing of Spelling Bee; moved permanently to LA for law school
2009: First legal job(s); Laser Eye surgery; first 10K run;
2010: Chinese document review; serious working out; Chinese language intense review
2011: Graduated law school, passed the bar; first legal job; starting my career!!!!
2012: THE BEST IS YET TO COME.....KEEP WATCHING.

*********

You know when you're really dreading doing something and are fearful of it, like going to the dentist? (Yea, those turn out to be as excruciating as I expected).....but here are the biggest surprises in my life that inspire me to keep trying new things in 2012 (and why you should, too)

10.) Keeping in contact with friends.... underrated skill you gotta keep udpdated with.
9.) Living at home even in my early-20's: lots of percs, but can't do it forever.
8.) Investing in the stock market...It developed my financial sense.
7.) (Re-) hitting the books for Mandarin Chinese.......it's a really important skill.
6.) Meyer Law Organization: So far, surprisingly having a great time at my work.
5.) Living in L.A.: this place is really awesome.
4.) Working out/staying fit: haven't been sick in 4 years, probably because of my active lifestyle.
3.) Alternative Spring Break: Thought it was a nice way to spend a week, it's so much more. I wish I would have done two times, three times more of these great trips.
2.) Fantasy sports!!!! Never thought this game/sport/obsession would captivate my life as much as it had when I tried it by suggestion of a distant friend in 2002, about 10 years ago. I LOVE this game!!!!
1.) This blog!!! Never thought in 2007 I'd still be posting, and posting more prolifically, almost 5 years to the day. I think when I get old this will be one of my most prized possession. Thanks, past self, for starting this!!!!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

How I Know there's a Higher Power

Here were my goals for 2011, the Year of the Rabbit:

1. Maintain a healthy interpersonal relationship with a certain someone;
2. win a fantasy trophy (get some hardware somewhere, almost don't care what type of sport it is)
3. graduate law school
4. pass the bar
5. obtain a full-time job (a job, any job!!!!!) sometime by the end of this calendar year
6. continue in my healthy, disciplined way
7. make some sort of signficiant breakthrough in my life.........something, anything!!

Did I achieve them?
1. Kinda...I didn't do it was that "certain someone" I had in mind, but continued to develop good relationships with other people
2. YES....won my main fantasy football league this year (the one I keep bragging about) and am getting a perpetual engraved trophy. Love the idea.
3. Check.
4. Check.
5. CHECK!!!!! That was big. Got it in September, continuing to work, didn't know how I felt about it at first, but now really relating to everyone and loving it. Can't express how gratefulI I am for having that job.
6. Yes, still healthy, although losing 5 pounds and getting back to 160/165 would be nice.
7. Kinda...made a BIG disciplined move to learn Chinese and converse well....think I've made major strides there.

So all in all, a good year! What's in store for 2012? I'll have a comprehensive 2011 sendoff in my next post as well as a 2012 preview. Call THAT a cliffhanger.


The title of my post: How do I know there's a higher power? There are little clues everywhere I go. Impossible coincidences happen all the time that remind me that there's something going on here; it all fits together too well. Funny thing is, when I encounter these "little coincidences" I always do a double-take and am no-doubt convinced that it's definitely a higher power at work, but I never document it or anything, and the thing is so minor that I forget after a few good nights' sleep (with vivid dreams....o I LOVE vivid dreams). However, for example, today I'm just clicking through facebook and pull up an acquaintance's page (we be-friended each other but to be honest we met once and it was one of those fringe-facebook-befriendings), and all of a sudden I see that THAT friend is friend of someone whom I met at CVS who I'd wanted to know about for the longest time (I know, it's a little creepy, but unbelievably serendipitous at the same time). I know the magic and mystique of Facebook and all that and how they can "connect" you with everyone, but there's NO WAY Facebook knew about this vague connection because it was purely in my head. I wasn't even actively trying to find a person, I was just "Facebook-surfing," if you call it then.

Other small signs that I kinda remember: Thinking of an obscure word/town/name while driving in my car and suddenly the word will pop up on a street sign, an object appearing out of nowhere even though it was supposed to be somewhere else. I don't know, it seems like the blubbering ramblings of a mad man, but there it is, it's what I believe. I was born agnostic with my parents not really having any TIME for religion; always working and whatnot. What little religious background I have involves Chinese cultural legends about Buddha and Buddhism, hardly grounds for claiming I am a "believer" in any religion. I am probably the least educated adult out there about religion. I've never realy needed it, experienced it, or gave it a chance, it's always been one of those spheres that have been closed off from me, or I've closed it off myself.

I'm pretty sure the next "big change" in my life is supposed to be some sort of finding of religious experience....I've won my Fantasy football leagues, no need to be at home on Sunday mornings watching football anymore. And Jan. 1, 2012 happens to be a Sunday. I believe I will

(And obviously this is not an endorsement of any religion or a solicitation for readers, I don't even know which religion I'm going to "experiment with," but I do know I'm very curious about what there is to offer, and at this point I get very little value from watching bad movies and reading endless books that I forget about in a few days anyway.) So I'm ready to delve into this facet of my life. 2009: it was delving into my field of law; 2010 it was reconnecting with my family; 2011 it was engaging in a career and reconnecting with my Chinese roots; 2012 might be about religion (and getting on the Amazing Race/Survivor).

Top News Stories of 2012

1.) Child Molestation continues into early 2012 as the furor from the late-2011 sex molestation scandals of Jerry Sandusky and Keith Fine continues. Unfortunately, college football and basketball are not the only arenas as more allegations and accusers come out, instilling such outrage in the general public that it finally is addressed through Child Abuse Report laws, etc.



2.) Champions in the 3 major sports: Green Bay Packers repeat as defending NFL Champions ( I know, the boring but a very easy, safe pick and it’s almost 50-50 them vs. the field at this point)
I’ll say go with the Chicago Bulls as the surprise NBA Champion (over the Thunder), and the Los Angeles Angels as the 2012 World Series Champions (The latter 2: one can dream, I guess)

3.) Barack Obama is re-elected as U.S. President. This’ll probably happen unless the U.S. stock market tanks again, which is not out of the realm of possibility but I’m not betting on it. I’m guessing the market “magically” gains momentum throughout the summer, saving El Presidente’s job.

4.) Natural Disaster hits the West Coast. I really hope not, but if one area of the world is ripe for being ravaged by fires, mudslides, and other natural disasters, it’s California. And I don’t even want to mention that dreaded word, but “Earthquake” is always a possibility.

5.) Another public trial of a big political figure/celebrity puts the Casey Anthony/Lindsay Lohan/Conrad Murray to shame. I’ll take a very wild stab and say…. Tiger Woods. Sorry, bro.

6.) New revolutionary invention changes the way we do…..work. First it was Youtube, then it was Facebook, then it was smartphones….2011 promises to be another innovative year with something that will change the way we WORK forever….just not sure what it is yet. Work is the new frontier for new innovation, I believe.

7.) Something definitive happens in the China-Taiwan relations in reaction to the 2012 Taiwan elections…Either a peaceful deal is hammered out, or the countries explode into irreversible conflict. More likely the first will occur, especially with President Ma likely to be re-elected… let’s hope so.

8.) Stock Market rockets back up above 13,000……Maybe it’s cuz it’s Christmas, maybe cuz my personal life has taken a upwards turn in the last few months, but the economic forecast seems rosier…..job reports are better, people are spending….This may be my desperate “Man I hope we don’t have another recession and can recover by 2018,” but 2012 may finally be “the year” we were waiting for since 2008.

9.) Justin Bieber out, new boy wonder is in……In this new age of one-hit wonders and the “Next Big Thing,” a year is a long time, and we’ll look back on Justin Bieber as his greatest year as he goes the way of Hilary Duff, Miley Cyrus, etc., etc. and a new babyfac e is introduced into our collective conscious.

10.) The World Does NOT End in 2012 at the end of the Mayan Calendar. Way too many people concerned about that. If the world’s gonna end, enjoy it while you can. If the world’s not gonna end, enjoy it while you can. Do what you normally do. DO NOT stress about it. The more you worry about it, the more you’re letting it affect you.
11.) Something silly (like Angry Birds in 2011 and Silly Bandz in 2010) becomes really big inexplicably. My guess is....fantasy baseball. Call me crazy. Maybe I hav something to do with it? Let's do it!!!!
12.) We find out something we've been doing for a long time is bad for you and causes cancer.......like brushing your teeth or something.
13.) The South becomes the new "place to live" in America.
14.) USC vaults over UCLA in all undergraduate and graduate school rankings. AND becomes the
15.) A law student wins a successful lawsuit against a law school. Not an indictment of law school, just the nature of the economic climate we're in: law students graduating law school with tens of thousands in debt, in need of someone to blame. It's a sad state of affairs for unemployed lawyers everywhere.

Rivalries

Like to take this time to address the importance of rivals.

We all hav erivals: rival co-workers going for that promotion, rival sports teams playing each other all the time, rival neighbors battling for the best Christmas light decorations, rival students going for the best grade in the class..etc., etc. Usually rivalries have a negative connotion, met with a little bit of negativity or uneasiness. "O man, he's your rival, huh? Well.....good luck."

I disagree. Rivals tend to instill fierce competition and with that, motivation to push yourself. Rivals not only make themselves better to battle you, they make YOU better. And it doesn't really matter if it's a healthy rivalry or a "Man, I hate that guy's guts" rivalry: the result is beneficial for both parties involved; a mutually symbiotic relationship at its best. (Granted, of course, that no one kills themselves working too hard or makes it a personal feud about other things). I maintain that a hard-fought dogfight to see who offers the most solely based on the merits is great for you and your rival.

What brings this on? This week I am in my fantasy football championship game facing my own rival ( who happens to read this blog and who used his knowledge that I loved Tony Romo before the season against me). I have known this particular manager for 3 years, since law school started. I will never forget knocking on his door 1L year of law school to invite him to join the USC Law Fantasy Football league, not knowing that this guy probably loved fantasy football more than me and was just as gun-ho and cutthroat as I was about fantasy sports. Every season since, we have played in every fantasy football and fantasy baseball season without fail; any memorable matchups have resulted. I ended his football season our first year; he beat me in a tight fantasy baseball playoff matchup en route to his one and only title. The times we match up do not go silently; we talk a lot of smack before, during, and after matchups. It is relentless. Losing is unacceptable; winning feels like winning 2 games. Because I can't stand losing to my rival, I'm constantly willing myself to get better, to put in the research, to get that extra edge on him. And I'm sure my rival does the same. Outside of fantasy football, we are on great terms; colleagues, fellow law students, watch football together on the weekends, talk freely about life. The epitome of a healthy rivalry; I'm hoping it'll continue for a long, long, time. (and that I can carve another "W" into my column this week).

Healthy rivalries in sports:
Ravens- Steelers in the AFC North. These 2 perennial powerhouses battle it out every year, and both usually make the playoffs, sometimes even meeting in the playoffs.
Kobe-Lebron in the NBA. These 2 openly do not like each other. It's the young Anointed One with the Superstar that's running out of time.
Yankees- Red Sox: These 2 probably don't have a healthy rivalry and are bitter enemies, but their records and championship counts are better for it.
Federer/Nadal/Njokovic: All 3 have pushed each other way past the rest of men's tennis.
NFL/NBA/MLB: challenging each other as to which leagues can get calls through instant replay. So far, as usual, NFL winning.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

A Night to Remember.....or Forget? What are we talking about again?

Makes you wonder: Are "memorable" nights advertised by beer companies/ vodka distributers/nightclub owners really worth it? Here's one "memorable" night that I just endured:


Yesterday was a big orchestra day: 3 concerts in one day, including 2 at the California African American Museum near USC for the kids, and then the annual holiday concert for the LA Lawyers Philharmonic. Joining the LA Lawyers Philharmonic is quickly becoming one of the best decisions of my life; it, along with some other events, made 2011 quite memorable and not totally tarnished by unemployment/ taking the bar exam, etc. It justifies all those years I spent practicing violin and going to violin lessons, etc. because that's all been translated into being able to play freely and enjoy myself in an orchestra that I fit in with and like playing in : lots of different pieces, cool pieces, not too challenging that I have to practice a ton for....

Anyway, had a great concert, then afterwards hit up some law friends in Santa Monica.....now, these friends have a solid reputation for "going out" and "getting around town," so I knew what I was getting into. Start out with some Beirut drinking games, then go to a club in West L.A. 'Twas probably a bad sign that one the way to the club, I was already so inebriated that I had no idea where we were: what the name of the club was, what street we were on, I just got out of the cab and went in. Probably not a good idea. ALSO probably not a good idea to carry around a phone that you know doesn't have power and really has no usefulness. Yea.

The club went well; I remember most things that happened (I don't "black out," as they say) including a pretty intense fight that happened right in front of me...girl threw drink at guy, guy got upset, girl's boyfriend jumped in, things get heated fists were punching, except my reaction, which normally would be to try to separate the combatants or try to inhibit the fight from worsening, was due to my inebriated state, to ENCOURAGE the fight to continue by screaming "yea!" and waving my hands in the air as well as doing some shadow-boxing on the side to non-verbally voice my approval. That's the bar/nightclub process in a nutshell: everything about it encourages you to want some violence, some sort of release, something different from the norm; inhibitions are totally set aside, you act without any regard for consequences and let the brutal inner nature of human beings come out. That's one part of a "memorable" night I certainly don't approve of: physical violence with other human beings and the risk of lawsuit/imprisonment/physical dehabilitation is much too steep a price to pay for a "memorable" night...there are other ways for memories, especially good ones, to be created.

Right after the fight broke out, I went to get some air and suddenly felt VERY VERY dizzy and disoriented... sat down to rest and next thing you know I was passed out outside the bar, without my friends' knowledge and without their ability to contact me via cell phone. The next few hours consisted of me trying to get comfortable on a concrete step by the bar while trying not to puke, getting heckled by fellow clubgoers coming out of the club looking for a cab, shivering in the cold 3AM West Los Angeles weather, falling asleep for brief stretches, and then finally, after sufficiently recovering from the drunken dizziness, wandering about the area mindlessly looking for a cab, finally hitting a McDonald's that was open at 5AM in the morning, buying a Sausage McMuffin and a Powerade, then finding a cab to get home. Very derelict use of the evening and pretty dangerous if I had been in other parts of LA (I'm probably really fortunate I did not have my wallet stolen/robbed at knifepoint or gunpoint, but a memory I will have for the rest of my life, how I spent the night of Dec. 17/morning of Dec. 18th. Was it worth it? Certainly I didn't cause violence or do damage to anybody, other than myself whose side is a little bruised from sleeping on the concrete for awhile, and my friends might have been a little worried about me going off on my own. The main tradeoff is the dizziness/drunkenness that occurred. During that time, it's a very helpless feeling; you can't help but become inebriated, you want to do things but you can't, you are at the mercy of the alcohol coursing through your body and when it wants to stop the relentless attack it afflicts on your body/head. It was a VERY tough 3 hours, those 3 hours I spent on that sidewalk not being able to move for fear of dizziness/throwing up, as well as being insanely cold to the point of wondering if I would get hypothermia or not. Not a life-and-death situation, but one where I put myself in harm's way. But certainly it was different, and that's what beer companies/vodka distributors want you to do: something risky, something way out of the ordinary scope of your life (like try to punch someone and inflict damage or let loose of your inhibitions without fear of consequnces). Given what I had to deal with, though, I'll pass. My greatest memories are when I'm sober, like orchestra concerts or chess/fantasy football victories. I'm just a nerd, I s'ppose. (Avon Barksdale converted quote).

Fantasize on,

Signs It's Your Fantasy Football playoff week

1.) In the course of normal conversation with co-workers, you make bad puns about marginal fantasy players. “I think I heard that Lance had dropped the Ball….get it, get it?”

2.) You call your second cousins, who live in Philadelphia, how the weather MIGHT be on Sunday in order to get a feel of whether you should bench your starting kicker.

3.) Instead of weighing the merits of bringing a motion in a pending case, you instead weigh the merits of starting Damian Williams over Nate Washington.

4.) You listen to Colin Cowherd in order to see if he has one of your fantasy players on his show to make sure your player is not “distracted” going into the weekend.

5.) You ponder the merits of your team name and whether it sounds “strong” and “forceful” enough.

6.) You ponder the merits of posting smack talk to your opponent and weighing the “morale impact” it will have on your team and the “bulletin board” impact it will have on the other team.

7.) You pay $39.50 for NFL Rewind in order to check out the “crispness” of your backup QB’s throws from the last few games.

8.) You find yourself rooting against your favorite childhood team “just for the next couple weeks” in favor of your own fantasy football team.

9.) You cry yourself to sleep wondering “what could have been” if you would just have just spent the $2 on draft night to draft Rob Gronkowski.

10.) You consistently hit “Refresh” on your smartphone on rotoworld.com to see if there are any updates on one of your injured players (also a sure sign of an internet addiction)

11.) You strongly consider calling up your playoff opponent the night before GameDay at 3AM in order to propel him into making “bad last-second lineup decisions” on Sunday morning.

12.) You check your fantasy football team at work. (Not that I do).

13.) You walk around muttering "BEAST MODE" (for Marshawn Lynch) or "Megatron!" (Calvin Johnson) under your breath.

14.) You intentionally walk towards garbage cans and then "shimmy" past them at the last second in your best "(Insert-your-fantasy-RB)" impression.

15.) Reality is lost; the only thing you live, see, and breathe is fantasy football.

OK, it's not that bad.......but it IS Fantasy Football playoff week, and I'm feeling the fever. Get it started off right tonight, MJD!!!!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Tim Tebow

For those who don't follow sports and don't know who Tim Tebow is, you better pay attention. This is a man (Is he really a man or some sort of Messiah?) who has the chance to transcend sports, to inspire the world, to change the way everyone believes.

I'd consider myself a skeptic on most things. I have philosophies like "Don't believe everything you hear" and "Sell high, buy low," "get out while you're ahead," "I'm not inspired by 3 circles drawn on a piece of paper that someone else calls art." In fantasy sports, especially, I'm the guy who goes by value, isn't loyal to any one player, thinks that you should trade guys while their "stock" is high, etc. I'm that way because usually I'm right: a lot of times things get hyped and people think they're bigger than they are; players like Chris Shelton, Colby Rasmus, Paul Konerko, etc., etc., etc. get hot at the beginning of the season and don't sustain their success through the season.

But even me, the skeptic that I am, believe in Tim Tebow. It's not just the way he plays football, although his single-handed turnaround of the Broncos' season from 1-4 to 8-5 is amazing (with a 6-game winning streak), he has awesome speed for a QB, and has brushed aside questions of his arm accuracy by winning, winning and more winning.

It's not the way he leads his teammates, although it's pretty impressive: everything from winning a Heisman trophy, from his "We will win all our games the rest of this season" after a loss at Florida, the way his teammates rally around him now in Denver, the way he applauds everyone else's effort and credits his teammates for "keep fighting, keep going and never surrendering."

It's not necessarily the religious icon he is: a devout Christian, he points to the sky after every score/accomplishment in the season,


Tim Tebow is the epitome of a great human being. From all accounts, he takes time out ot meet everyone, is nice to everyone, says how honored HE is to meet people who ask for his autograph. Lot of talk about how there's "not a fake bone in his body." That's vastly different from what we usually get from celebrities. We always hear about drug addictions, ugly divorces, luxurious houses, and all matter of ugliness from celebrities away from the camera/field/stage, and we're often disappointed: these are not heroes, not people we should look up to when we live our lives. I think, as a nation and a human society, we need people like Tim Tebow, someone who is in the limelight but doesn't let it change him, who has been humble throughout his life and continues to be despite his celebrity, someone we can tell our kids/family members/people we love, "I want to have the same attitude as Tim Tebow," not necessarily "I want to be a great football player like Tim Tebow," or "I want to be a great leader like Tim Tebow," or "I want to be as religious as Tim Tebow." Instead, I want to be "as good of a human being as Tim Tebow, and that's why I root for him on Sundays: for him to succeed and gain more attention to the world, to deliver "his message" to be good and humble and ethical in how you treat others. And that's why, when Tim Tebow beat my hometown Bears this afternoon in miraculous fashion (again, again in OT), I was okay with it, because I know it's just adding onto the legacy of Tim Tebow, and that legacy is very healthy for our world.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Red Zone Channel

Introducing the greatest invention known to Fantasy Footballers....the Red Zone channel. Making this one of the better days I've had all year.

1. Wake up, don't have to go to work.
2. Great breakfast
3. Check rotoworld.com ( another great invention for fantasy footballers)
4. Drive through Malibu Canyon (one of the greatest drives in the world, IMO.....you got the Pacific Ocean, PCH Highway, million-dollar homes along the PCH, the breeze, Christmas lights, etc., etc.... really starting to like L.A.)
5. Watch the Red Zone channel, which boots up at 10:00AM in the morning on the West Coast. Great stuff.
6. And they don't always have to be in the red zone!!!!! amazing!!!!
7. Great noon matchups this week team with some great teams (usually you get mostly below-.500 teams, rebuilding teams, teams out of wild-card conetention, etc.) but with Seattle v. St. Louis being the Monday night matchup, we have the Division-leading Texans, the Division-leading Patroits, the Division-leading Saints, the up-and-coming Bengals....
8. Constant updates as to what other games are doing........don't miss a big play, ever.


Some highlights of "Watching the game" with fantasy football freinds:

Red Zone channel, otherwise known as, "Just get to the good stuff."

Andrew Siciliano, VERRY underrated talent in the sports broadcasting industry.

I'm sitting on the bye, watching other guys in my league sweating it out..one Jets fan doing a nice "Hulk Hogan" imitation every time one of his players scores points. And they've scored A LOT of points.......Mark Sanchez with 3 TD's, Percy Harvin, Ray Rice, etc., etc....one of the few joys in life

Guy in my league proclaims, "It is over." at 12:48PM Sunday afternoon in a key playoff matchup.


Guy in the league who has Gronkowski, other guy sitting across from him who has Welker, simultaneously begging Tom to throw it to one of their guys....both guys have been satisfied as on this day, Tom routinely dissects the Redskins D. When Tom throws over the middle to Welker, the Welker owner leaps up, starts doing "holster the gun" motions in between shouts of "yea!!!" It's great. Gotta learn some awesome Fantasy football-TD celebrations.

Dan Orlovsky is really bad.

The best thing about Rex Grossman, you know what to expect: he does well against the bad defenses (New England today) and HORRIBLE against the good defenses.

The "Watch who you're with" warning: I mutter under my breath, "wonder who picked up Keiland Williams" and go to my computer. Guy in my league who's watching football with me picks up Williams that very second as I log on. Well played, sir. Well played. Note to self: Never do that again.

Burgers on the grill, the epitome of watching football on Sundays.


Lot of great games and great finishes today, Andrew Siciliano DOING WORK flipping through the channels. Very distinct voice.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Fantasy Basketball Headhunter Letter, Year 3

Dear Fantasy Basketball Manager,

After a prolonged hiatus in the fantasy basketball season, we are pleased to welcome in the new fantasy basketball season as well as provide you the third annual Fantasy SportsGuru Headhunter Letter. Our first year, we did you wrong, but last year our results were much improved as we brought you the great wisdom to draft Kevin Love, who is now a top-5 fantasy player, predicted the quick adjustment of Mr. John Wall to the NBA, and steered you away from the declining Tim Duncan and the difficult progress of Danny Granger.



Once again in 2011, We here at FantasySportGuru Headhunter, Inc. have thoroughly researched the diverse applicant pool that was made avilable to us and and come to conclusions on several remarkable candidates. Russell Westbrook is young and enterprising candidate now in his 4th year with the same organization; in each year of his career he has improved his performance and added to his totals, and this year should be no exception, especially with his new acquired skill set of the 3-point shot. Somewhat displeased with his placement in his current position and geographical location in the Bible Belt, Mr. Westbrook can be bought on to your team and become a highly motivated and durable leader (he's not missed a single day fo work in his career).

Another strong but less-regarded candidate is one Jrue Holiday, an even younger performer than Russell Westbrook but also with a UCLA pedigree, Mr. Holiday is entering the prime of his work life (thrid year player) who is well-liked by his coaches, former players, and has earned the trust of his organization. Don't miss out on this opportunity t capture Mr. Holiday's services before he spreads his wings and becomes an unattainably valuable resource.

Call it our new organizational philosophy, but we truly like young, up-and-coming talent here at FantasySportGuru Headhunter, so we would be remiss not to mention another great candidate for success, Mr. Wesley Mathews. Mr. Wesley Mathews has thrived despite intense comeptition in his current field, but with his colleagues Brandon Roy going into early retirement, we believe Mr. Mathews will grab the reins of opportunity and carry your team to the Promised Land.


As always, we must caution you against some fraudulent candidates that carry multiple red flags. Deron Williams is believed by many to be a great asset, but his outer appearance belies unfortunate numbers that will detract from your organization. Take more than a casual look at his statistics and you will find that you can do better for less than what Mr. Williams's services are going him; let another organization deal with his less-than-stellar production.

Although Mr. Kobe Bryant's name rings out throughout the world of true basketball, in Fantasy Basketball Land he is an aging superstar wth a new coach, nagging injuries, and most likely a diminished offensive role now that Howard or Paul are coming to help him out. With the abundance of young, fresh talent on the market, it would be risky, even foolish to retain the name-brand but low-quality Mr. Bryant. Similar to Mr. Tim Duncan last year, we feel that unfortunately Mr. Bryant's best years, especially in Fantasy Land, are behind him.

Also, do not draft the annual comeback-player-of-the-year tease, Mr. Elton Brand. The next time he actually meets expectatios will be his first since 2000; he has been a very mediocre fantasy player for a decade, and now over the age of 30, Mr. Brand will not be learning new skills and the decline will come. Despite his professional attitude, strong educational pedigree (Duke), and survivable numbers, Mr. Brand is prone to injury and will drag down your organization. Please do not invest in the services of this man.

We know that you will have many questions and doubts throughout the season about your employees, invovling many trials and tribulations, and you will develop personal relationships with the employees that you do eventually hire. We recommend that you hire mostly with cold hard facts and our numbers, (partly because if you don't in real life there's bound to be employment litigation in your future), but also so that you can have fun with your employees; you will enjoy yourself if you do not enjoy the people around you. And that's really what it's all about.

Fantasize on,

Fantasysportguru Headhunter, Inc.,
Chairman, President, and Omincient Ruler,

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

1.) I gotta tell you, few things excite me more than fantasy football or Halloween, but putting up the Christmas decorations today was one of them. Not just the outdoor lights, those are cool, but setting up the Christmas tree; that's awesome. We're one of those cheap families that has one fake Christmas tree in a box that recycles it every year; been using the same one for like 14 years, but it never fails (sorry live Christmas tree business). But putting up Christmas lights, that's a symbol of prosperity, that everything's okay, everything's happy, that for one more year we get to celebrate Christmas in our awesome house with our family. And that's one of the things everyone wishes for, not everybody gets. Gotta cherish it.

2.) First weekend of December might as well be called "Christmas Lights Set-up Weekend." Literally EVERY time I went outside this weekend, someone was putting up Christmas lights. That's a beautiful feeling, being in a neighborhood that celebrates Christmas and gets out. I've really been blessed to live in great neighborhoods ever since I moved out of the inner city of Chicago when I was 7; ever since then I've always lived in good communities; this last one pretty much takes the cake: every year, a block down there's a Haunted House that attracts legitimately like a thousand people on Halloween night. Crazy. And like 75% of houses in our neighborhood have some sort of holiday lights up. It's beginning to look a lot....like Christmas.


3.) For Christmas this year, I want one thing: to be called by Amazing Race. (Just sent in an audition tape, hope you liked it, casting team). If you don't want me on Amazing Race, put me on Amazing Race: China Rush. That's actually a cool show by the same producers, except in China, with mostly Chinese cast members, and a (much) lower grand prize of $400,000 RMB. Still, it's the Amazing Race.

4.) Christmas day will also be the day my fantasy league championship will be decided. Thanks to the early-season heroics of Calvin Johnson and the recent heroics of Victor Cruz, I've clinched the regular season title in my league and a first round bye. Scratch that, All I want for Christmas is to be called by Amazing Race AND a fantasy championship.

5.) Having guests over for Christmas this year; that's always welcome because you feel like you're reconnecting with someone, and it's really a Christmas tradition to invite guests, be merry.

6.) The NBA season starts on Christmas this year: Great timing wth the fantasy playoffs ending that day as well. Very thankful they ended the lockout, but mostly thankful for Fantasy Football: The most sophisticated fantasy game. Seriously. It's a tough game with a lot of risk/reward and statistical balances. It gets very mathematical.

7.) Christmas will also be around the time I make a momentous decision about my career and where it's going. Scratch that, I wish for Christmas that I choose the correct path for my career.

8.) I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVE Christmas carols. Guy at work also loves them; plays them so that the whole office can hear. I do not mind.

9.) See some snow for Christmas, maybe? Skiing? Something? Big Bear/Mammoth = great places in California. O, and the Grand Canyon gets snow too, so if you wanna see somethign cool....

10.) Wow I thought 12 things for Christmas would be easy. Preliminary gift ideas for my immediate family: 1.) Grandpa = mahjong set. 2.) sister = pitch in with my parents for an Ipad/Kindle Fire/something gadgety. 3.) Mom = Chinese DVD's, she loves that stuff. 4.) Dad = new tennis racket.

11.) I am not Catholic or Christian. I have gone to church before but do not profess faith in any established religion. I have my own religious beliefs. Privately, I've seen enough in my life, enough signs and little coincidences that indicate to me there's a higher power, or an order to this world that I cannot identify yet; so I definitely do not reject religion; I just don't necessarily believe that one religion is correct, although during the last few weeks have been really considering learning more about these religions, etc (and I'm not just saying that because of Tim Tebow). Anyway, I think Christmas is a holiday almost anybody can celebrate and get into the mood for; you don't have to be strictly about that religion; it's more of a cheerful/fun holiday than a religious holiday, in my opinion.

12.) I've always wanted to be a shopping mall Santa Clause. Maybe just for a day. You're basically a rock star for the kids and get to dress up in a funny costume and have a story for the rest of your life. Gotta be pretty cool.


Merry Christmas (in 3 weeks),

Robert Yan

Reliving Seinfeld

Watching the Season 3 DVD of Seinfeld, with such timeless classic episodes as "the Parking Garage," "The Pen," "The Boyfriend" (aka the Keith Hernandez episode), "the Parking Spot," etc., etc., and I wonder.....are the lives of Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer ideal? Would I want to be a successful single comedian living in the Lower East End of New York and living life with some of my best friends, and with hilarious stories, thrilling adventures, and various companions/dates/relationships?

I think not. I love Seinfeld, George, Kramer, and their interactions with each other: they kid around, have inside jokes, go everywhere together, and step up for each other if someone's in trouble; it's exactly the kind of interaction I try to have with my friends, and aspire to......NOW. But I DON'T necessarily want to be like that when I'm 35, or 40, or whatever age the characters in Seinfeld are. Seinfeld is awesome but it purposely doesn't include an element of living: kids + family. They don't have wives, they don't have kids, they don't do "family things." In contrast to the family-based comedy of "Everybody Loves Raymond," "The Cosby Show," or "Home Improvement," Seinfeld + friends don't have families. Dare I say it, I feel a little sorry for them that they have to rely on their friends to combat loneliness and act as surrogates for their lack of real families. I'm fine with it for a year, a few years, maybe until I'm 30, but I'm a guy who eventually wants a family, eventually a big family, eventually kids to play with, raise, and share my life with. It's not an Asian thing, a Midwest thing, it's a me thing and what I value the most.


Let's analyze also, if I may, the "it's a show about nothing" aspect of Seinfeld. Is life, like the show, pretty much about nothing? Do we just live our lives for the stories, for the awkward events, for the series of accumulated moments that happen while we're doing other things? Is it, as said so eloquently by the irreverent Lester Freamon on "The Wire," "the sh*t that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come?" It might be. What's our purpose for going to our jobs, earning money, traveling, going to school, and every other aspirational activity that we undergo? It's all to achieve some abstract "perfect-world" where we're at our dream jobs, living beautifully with nothing to worry about? That almost never happens!! Even people who we think have that "perfect-world" continue to strive for more; very few people are satisfied. So that's why I say we gotta enjoy our lives sometimes, celebrate the occasions......because once life gets going, it's hard to stop it. Go out and run in a new place, go look at Christmas lights, watch old Seinfeld re-runs, play some fantasy football ( I got some GREAT advice). Whatever it is, try to enjoy it, because the moment that you're looking for might actually never come.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Enjoying Milestones

Oftentimes we accomplish a lot of things without even stopping to acknowledge it. Yesterday I was sworn into the California Bar; I am officially an attorney. I am now commemorating this momentous event in my blog. Congratulations, Robert. You made it. ( Actually this particular event I celebrated pretty well; USC Law did us right by hosting a Bar Admissions Ceremony in the Town & Gown with drinks and appetizers, I took full advantage. That, coupled with an epic Vegas trip 2 weeks ago after finding out I had passed, and I think I sufficiently celebrated this bar admissions phase.)

All tooting my own horn aside, I think it is really important to remember these events. Looking back on big positive things in my life, I didn't celebrate enough; I didn't let myself enjoy it. We work extremely diligently to meet our goals and achieve milestones; we gotta stop to savor it a little bit before we move on to the next big goal. Life moves so fast; if you didn't stop to take a mental/spiritual snapshot of something happen, you won't be able to go back and retrieve those moments later.

Suggestions on how to "take a mental snapshot of momentous occasions:"

1.) Buy a cake. Everyone always remembers cake; especially if you write "Happy Graduation!" or something on it.
2.) Go somewhere new to celebrate. Chances our you'll remember the place you went to, and then why you went there, in that order.
3.) Actual "snapshots" - obviously pictures are the best ways. Duh. But that's the simple route to go.
4.) Post it in your blog so you can go back later and see how you felt at the time.
5.) Splurge on things you want; spend lots of money. On second thought, you probably don't want to do this.



Example of how NOT to celebrate a momentous occasion:

On the night of our law school graduation, my family and I went out for dinner to celebrate, etc., and I was so worried about the pending bar exam preparation and the unexciting job prospects I would have after the bar that I was absolutely miserable. Complained about how law school was a waste of time and actually set me back to my whole family and kind of ruined the whole dinner. O and did I mention this was like 3 days after my 24th birthday? Yea not a way to commemorate either occasion. Those were the dark days.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Taking on Vegas

Last week I conquered the points spread in a big way, taking Washington +7 over the Cowboys, Cleveland -1 over the Jaguars (random guessing, and barely won the bet), and my big money bet was.........Oakland +2.5 over the Vikings. That was the best feeling I had about a game in a long time, and it didn't disappoint: The Raiders dominated that game from start to finish.

I've been watching a lot.......LOT OF NFL Rewind, so I have some in-depth knowledge on these teams (I hope).

Chicago +3 at Oakland.......The Bears have covered the spread a LOT during their 5-game winning streak, yet they continuously get disrespected. Sure, Caleb Hanie is a downgrade from Cutler, but this team was built on Defense, Special teams, and running the football anyway. Watch for that to continue, especially against Carson Palmer without his fancy tools (McFadden, Denarious Moore, Jacoby Ford). Chicago has at least a 50-50 shot at winning this game, which is why you take the points.

Cleveland +7 at Cincinnati: Throw out the records when these 2 teams get together. Cleveland plays teams tough and should continue to do so here; feels like a let-down game for the Bengals after 2 brutal matchups against tough division opponents.

Carolina -3.5 at Indianapolis: You simply cannot take a team that is trying to lose. Seriously, a win is a loss for them, so if you give ANY credence to that theory whatsoever, you gotta take the Panthers.

Seattle -3 at Washington: Lovin' the Seahawks at home against an inferior team. What are the oddsmakers thinking? Marshawn Lynch is consistently in Beast Mode," especially at home, and the magical healing powers of Seattle somehow transform them into an above-average football team. And Redskins coming off OT game traveling to the Pacific Northwest. Gimme the Hawks, over and over again.

New England -3.5 at Philadelphia: No Vick, No Jeremy Maclin, probably no Nmadi Asomugha, and Tom Brady is still alive and playing in this game? For some reason Vegas this year constantly, constantly believes in an Eagles comeback....they might stop harboring this notion after this demolishing.


Pittsburgh -10.5 at Kansas City: The "Home Dog" factor gets cancelled out here by the "Tyler Palko Sucks" factor. See the Steelers piling on and rolling by more than 2 TD's.


Atlanta -9.5 v. Minnesota: Christian Ponder, Boy Wonder? That myth has pretty much been debunked the last 2 weeks, and AP now officially declared out. Falcons smell a playoff spot and aren't going to let this one get away at home.


Jacksonville +6.5 v. Houston: call me crazy, but like the home dog here. If I were physically in Vegas, I'd try to get a +7 line out of this, but take what you can get v. Matt Leinart. Bet heavy against him.

Giants +7 at New Orleans: Betting on another "Dr. Jekyll" week as opposed to Mr. Hyde.

NYJ -9.5 v. Buffalo: Buffalo is DONNNNNNNNNEEEEE. Should be quitting if down at half.

San Diego -5.5 v. Denver: Sigh. One last hurrah for the Chargers?


St. Louis -2.5 v. Arizona: Hate picking this game. Throw a coin in the air; heads are the Rams, tails are the Cardinals.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Black Friday

Friday, Friday, every day is Friday......I don't know if it's ironic, or sad, or wonderful, or what, but the popular Youtube hit "Friday" was performed by a Rebecca "Black." Sigh. Someone really has a sense of humor.


I don't think I've EVER gotten up early or waited in line for Black Friday. Call me crazy, but I just don't like the idea of camping out, waiting forever, being uncomfortable, depriving myself of sleep, for the pleasure of PAYING MONEY for products. It's not like you're getting these things for free, people. The stores are still making money. Personally, I wouldn't wait 9 hours to get something for free, much less at a supposed "bargain basement price."

What I DO like to do on Black Friday, however, is put up Christmas lights. Perfect time to do it: You're feeling fat and bloated from gorging yourself with Thanksgiving delights from the night before, it's time to do some physical activity/ work. Climb a ladder, set up some penguins, hammer in some deer, that's what I enjoy doing. Plus, it's the last off day you get before Christmas; and it contributes to the awesomeness of living in surburbia, which is the vast array of Christmas decorations that almost all families have.

One of the coolest things in life is going for a job in a suburban neighborhood (such as my own) on December 22nd, 23rd, or even 24th.......every house is decorated to the brim with fake Santas, colorful reindeer, festive lights, and it-almost-looks-real candy canes. It's one of the more amazing sights in life, going down the roads, seeing almost every house lit up in such decorative affair. You don't have to be religious, really like Christmas, or even like bright and shiny lights to like it. It's one of the miracles of life that so many people are willing to go to such lengths to celebrate one day of the year.

Anyway, I'm going to the USC-UCLA football game Saturday night, the season finale and the end to another great season of USC football. Go figure, the 3 years I attended USC they were perpetually in decline, were sanctioned for NCAA violations, and went through a coaching change. (they were especially mediocre the 2 years I had season tickets, 2009 and 2010.) Now, finally, when they're back to being a top 10 QB again with a franchise QB (Matt Barkley), I have to pay regular fare. Go figure. Not complaining, though, let's hope for multiple national championships in the near future.

And Illini, please have a good basketball season? Please?


Anyone ever watch the Amazing Race: Asia or Amazing Race: China Rush? Actually pretty entertaining, you can tell it's made by the same Amazing Race people. And that opening theme; you can recognize it anywhere. Btw, my 8+ years of watching Amazing Race tells me that Marcus & Amani are going to win the most recent edition of the Race, although the edits throughout the season don't usually suggest a winner. It'd really be a shame if Jeremy & Sandy won; barely know who those guys are, they've done so little.


Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

I am bad at tennis

Can't really remember how I got started playing tennis.... I was never really good at it, never took serious lessons with it, didn't follow tennis great Michael Chang or Pete Sampras growing up, didn't have a hard-hitting uncle that gave me his old wooden racket from his playing days, inspiring me to seek greatness in the sport...Nope, I just started playing. One day I was at my community park hitting around with friends, the next I was going with my dad, my friends, more and more.... one day I showed up at high school tennis tryouts.......one day I started matches on the JV team...one day I made it on varsity and played some matches.

So it goes. My "career" at tennis has really been self-taught.... I just like the game. Not love; the game is too frustrating, too hard to improve, too prone to inconsistent stretches for me to fully love it. And I'm just not that good at it, so I lose more than I ever win. But being good at tennis seems like it could be really fun. Place the ball wherever you want, ace your opponent on command, hit drop shots like they're a piece of cake, shoot winners down the line.....basically, feel invincible. Unfortunately for me, I've only gotten that "invincible" feeling a couple times in my life, and never for more than 5 minutes. Here's what's wrong with my game (and what's wrong with many amateur's games).

1. My serve is wildly inconsistent. First serve: can hit it pretty hard, but not ace material, rely on the other guy to mess up. Problem is, I don't spend the time to ready myself and rush the serve. Second serve: I'm much too dastardly to try to do anything with the second serve. Basically a pancake to the opponent served on a silver platter with the ball screaming, "HIT ME HARD," and I'm on the defensive. It's to the point where I hit a semi-decent second serve on the first serve just so the opponent doesn't move up on me and whack it.

2. Backhand needs work. Many pros' backhands are better than their forehands. Not the case with me ( and most amateurs). My muscle memory with the forehand is sufficient to where I can get some control, but I just haven't hit a million backhand shots like Andre Agassi did before he was 15, so I often don't know where it's going when I'm prepared to hit it, so don't even ask what happens when I'm on the run and have to hit a shot. Birds fly away and squirrels scatter when I wind up to hit that backhand; it flies everywhere.

3. Net game. I love playing net; I like playing doubles more than I do singles cuz I'm already at the net. But playing the net is a lot tougher than it looks, cuz volleys are a whole 'nother game than groundstrokes. I have yet to develop the volley put away shot; usually my volleys look like I see the ball coming at my face and at the last second, I bring up my racket purely out of desperation to protect myself, not asserting any type of accuracy or tenacity at all. O, and I run through volleys like "Fast and Furious" actors run through red lights. It ain't pretty.

4. Mental mistakes. It's almost incredible, but I don't always focus when I play tennis on the game. When I play basketball, it's continuous, back-and-forth action; there's really no time to think about anything else, it's constantly go-go-go, gotta be everywhere, so I never lose focus. Chess, you're gonna be there for 2 hours and you make like a move per 2.5 minutes; you can space out a bit. Tennis is the in-between: I really shouldn't be spacing out, but I space out anyway. I think about my day, which players I'll be starting that weekend in fantasy football, and the next thing you know my opponent hits a strong serve right at my body, I don't move out of the way and attempt a cross between a dink and a push at the ball, and it goes wimpering feebly into the net. That's how about 10 of my points go each match, probably costing me 3 or 4 games in the process. It's really quite the problem, and I haven't fixed it cuz I don't have a coach, I never had a coach, and no one tells me these things. I'm on my own!!!!!

5. I just don't act like a tennis player. I don't look like a tennis player. Tennis players hit hard; they hit consistent ground strokes; they make good decisions;they stay poised under pressure. If anyone's ever seen me play tennis, I do the exact opposite. I often hit slices over the net to try to get spin and win my "garbage" and not power because I don't generate much power; I consistenly hit ground strokes into the net; at no time have I ever hit back-to-back strokes that are the same; I'm always all over the place and I have like 8 different forms; I make terrible decisions; I lob when I should pass; I go backhand when I should go forehand, I rush to the net imprudently and allow the opponent an easy passing shot; I hit a weak shot just because I'm lazy and give up the advantage on the point. All kinds of things. O, and when the pressure's on, I run around like a chicken with his head cut off.

The bottom line is, with tennis, I didn't really learn HOW to be a tennis player, I learned to hit the ball with a racket. I run around just trying to get to balls and hit them back; I don't know technique, I don't know style, I don't really know how to win a tennis match. Thus, I am bad at tennis. However, I still like tennis and will keep on playing; and I have fun playing, which is all that counts. (Unless you're Roger Federer. Or Rafael Nadal. Or Novak Djokovic).



Btw, I met a family with kids who all play football today at a Thanksgiving dinner party. Sound mundane? How bout when I mention it was a CHINESE Thanksgiving dinner party? Shocked that the parents let the Asian kid play football at all. Aren't they afraid the kids' automatically-thrust-upon reputations as nerds will be tarnished? That helmet-to-helmet hits will cause the kids to lose their great math-and-science intelligence abilities? That our fragile Asian bodies will be broken in half by pure American muscle? All kidding and stereotypes aside, I commend the fam and the kids on going into a sport that Asians are underrepresented in. Try something new, break stereotypes and tradition, DAMN THE TORPEDOS!!!!! That said, I'll still stick with tennis.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

What's on my IPod,

It occurred as I was doing my jog after my uber-fantasy blog earlier this evening that I don't talk about music much......It is, after all, a big part of my life. I started playing violin when I was 7, played in a bunch of youth orchestras, still play in the LA Lawyers Philharmonic (although, I actually have to make it to rehearsal one of these weeks)... I genuinely like playing violin, it's a big stress relief, and I'm genuinely fond of some time-honored classical pieces (notice I used the proper term "pieces," not "songs" - Vivaldi's Four Seasons comes to mind, Beethoven's Opus No. 5, Tsaichovsky's Marche Slaive (although that thing's brutally difficult for 1st violins).

But, not unlike many Americans, I am sucked into the Top 40 hits, the most popular music that's featured prominently on Kiss FM stations everywhere. The tunes are so catchy and are designed specifically to get you pumped up, are very available, and like a drug, they make you want to go back and listen over and over again.


Like others, too, I have songs that are "go-to" for me, like I "go to" them first on my 3-mile jogs, or "go to" them and keep listening if they're on the radio. I got my IPod (I know, already obselete technology) in 2008, so I downloaded all of these "tunes" since then. Here's my Top 10:


10.) The Show Goes On (Lupe Fiasco): Very nostalgic for me of Spring 2011, my most recent ASB trip to Seattle/Orcas Island, Washington. Love it.

9.) Viva La Vida (Coldplay): Perfectly signifies what happens on Big Brother (power shifts, going from the king to dusting the streets and all that jazz). Great lyrics. Smart; very smart.

8.) The Sweet Escape (Gwen Stefani): Use it when you're busting out of the house or whatever monotonous activity you were doing to go for a run. Great release, makes you want to go faster. And the music video's HOOOOOOT.

7.) Big Girls Don't Cry (Fergie): Takes me back to the simple days of the summer of 2007, a time of less stress, great economy, still working as a bus captain at a great summer camp job... I can still feel the warm summer breeze.

6.) Amazing (Kayne): play it every time the NBA Playoffs come on. Perfect song for that occasion and also after you've accomplished something (recently for me, not too much......cross my fingers for this Friday!)

5.) Who's that Chick ( Rihanna): song that recently caught on. Just super, super catchy. As I run, I do a little fist pump whenever the melody changes. That's when you know you're addicte to a song.

4.) Ignition (R. Kelly): Great song in 2001 or so....O man brings me back.

3.) Lose Yourself (Eminem): Every time I play this song I run a little faster, stand more erect, get focused.....you literally cannot do anything else when you hear this song.

2.) On the Floor (J. Lo): On fire.

1.) Party in the USA (Hannah Montana): this 2009 hit is gonna go down as one of the best songs in Hannah Montana's repetoire, maybe even of this century so far. Seriously, don't you just want to just have a party every time you listen?


OK, so ya, a lot of girly music, I know, and a lack of rock. I told you, I get sucked in. What can I say?


Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

NFL Week 10

Going back to the bread and butter: note on each time that played this week in the NFL (and since no team had a bye this week, that means every time.) Remember, If I get 60% of these right, you have no right to complain....My preseason predic's were right on, btw, thank me later).

1. Jacksonville v. Indy:
Obvious that Indy is a fantasy wasteland, but Donald Brown has been hyped to break out for like 5 years now....these last 6 games might finally be his chance.
MJD had monster yardage games in the 2nd half last year, but unfortunately he's already used up his game against Indy (the next one comes Week 17 in Indy which is useless). I'd sell high after his recent back-to-back TD games...Lance from my league is probably reading this now and exploiting it. O well.

2. Atlanta v. N. Orleans:
Matty Ice's 351 yards and 2 TD's are no fluke......congrats to owners who bought low on him.
I recently cut Mark Ingram in one of my really deep leagues and feel no remorse about it whatsoever.... the Saints backfield is a fantasy buzzsaw, he's playing hurt, and they have a bye next week. Wait for next season for Mr. Ingram's time.

3. Houston at Tampa Bay:
Texans are a real contender. The RB's are sick; is it time to add their THIRD-STRINGer Derrick Ward.
Yea Josh Freeman is not good. Avoid EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE. May be worse than Indy.

4. Pittsburgh @ Cincinnatti:
Julio Jones and A.J. Green,man. Both are studs.
LOVE, LOVE Antonio Brown. Exactly what Pittsburgh and your fantasy team needs.

5. Tennessee @ Carolina:
BUY Cam Newton, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!! Whatever discount you can get him at, do it now. Chalk it up to a bad game, but he is a top-5 QB no doubt.
SELL Chris Johnson, SELL, SELL, SELL. Best example of both sides of a "buy low, sell high" situation. CJ2K fans are probably saying, finally, he's back!!!! Uh, no, I'm not gonna take 1 game of mirage over 8 games of fantasy reality: he's toast and you should get like a Cedric Benson for him now. Seriously.

6. Arizona @ Philadelphia:
Wow, John Skelton, really? 315 yards and 3 TD's? Even in the worst nightmares of the Philly "Dream Team" they didn't think they'd give up 315 yards to John Skelton. Screw it, pick up Skeletor if only because he has Larry Fitzgerald and Early Doucet to throw to.
What did I say about Michael Vick? Tsk, tsk... not only is a huge injury risk now, he's also a huge suck risk. Congrats Matthew Berry for defrauding innocent fantasy owners everywhere and telling them to take Vick 1st.

7. KC v. Denver:
I swear, if Dwayne Bowe ever had a real QB to throw to him like a Brady, Romo, or Manning......2 rec for 17 yards is a colossal waste of his talents.
If you're starting any Denver WR's, you must love betting green on roulette. Eric Decker owners, get out now while you can.....Tebow might complete like 8 passes the rest of the year.


8. Dallas v. Buffalo:
If I had done a post last week I would have touted Laurent Robinson for you...heh. Love'em. If you have a Cowboy, any Cowboy, get ready to go for a ride cuz they're all about to run wild.
Bills are done.

9. Cleveland v. St. Louis.
There is nothing here. Another mediocre year for Steven Jackson, I have no idea why anyone still drafts him anymore because there is no upside, none, ever.

10. Washington v. Miami:
There is nothing here part 2. Some guy named Hankerchief or Hankersnoggle had a 100-yard game for the Redskins but will go back to 2 rec. for 21 yards pretty soon; Reggie Bush's 2-TD day is completely unsustainable. I'm pretty sure you can't draft Reggie ever again and feel good about it.

11. Seattle v. Baltimore:
Seahawks are awesome at Qwest Field, a.k.a. the Fountain of Youth in which they shower repeatedly before the game. If "Beast Mode" can beast 109 yards and a TD agaisnt the Ravens, we might be on to something here.
When did Joe Flacco turn into Alex Smith? 255 yards and just 1 TD, 1 int against a hapless Seattle Secondary. Tsk, tsk.

12. San Francisco v. NYG:
Watched this game live and whatever Qwest Field is for Seattle, playing San Francisco is the opposite for both teams. The Niners grind it out and make it as ugly as possible (kinda like some food shows I've been watching), and it hurts both teams' fantasy players.
NYG: if you start any Giant receivers, just know they'll be good, but not spectacular, no 150-yard, 2 TD days here; Eli spreads it around like butter on a croissant. (Just spent 2 minutes trying to spell that after taking French for 4 years)

13: Chicago v. Detroit:
If you started the Chicago D, you had a good day. The Chicago D is a MUST-START anytime they're at home. O, and Julius Peppers is good. REALLY good.
Megatron got defeated by Optimus Prime (My new name for Peanut Tillman) on this edition of Beast Wars, but he'll be back. My over-under on number of TD's is 18 this year.

14. New England v. NYJ:
Gronkowski is a top-5 WR who qualifies for TE. Sick. Brady got off the snide in a big way, further proving the old adage, " You always start you studs. ALWAYS."
Mark Sanchez is not a stud. In fact, he's getting kind of sucky. As a Trojan fan it hurts to say this, but if NYJ wants to win a Super Bowl and not just J-E-T-S just end the season, they need a new (and better) QB.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Inside Job

Anyone still upset about the 2008 financial crisis, here's a film that will further fuel your furor: Inside Job. There's been a lot of books, a lot of films, lot of news, etc. written about the whole ordeal, but Inside Job does a great job of getting you excited and angry. Honestly, it was a little one-sided and put a LOT of blame on a LOT of people, but it also was pretty accurate in its lesson: We tried to get bigger profits by taking more profits, and when the fit hit the shan (I learned that phrase from Colin Cowherd), the ones who were responsible got off scott-free with millions, and regular citizens got left holding the bag. O, and the film's narrated by Matt Damon....always nice to hear a familiar voice.

It goes to the same message I had about the Penn State scandal with Joe Paterno, and the same message that I deal with in my case at work (and also, just to top off the analogy, the message in Spiderman): With great power comes great responsibilities. Sure everyone wants the power, wants the chance to be able to control things, decide the fates of others, and have an impact in the world, but when you take that power it's not free; you have to understand the responsiblity that comes with it. When you're a head coach of a prominent college powerhouse, you have a responsibility to report child molesters on you staff...when you are the CEO of one of the top 5 investment banks in the country, you have a repsonsibility not to sell bad investments to your clients; when you're an attorney who handles all of an individual's legal problems, you have a responsibility to do the best job for them.... So much in life revolves around that one principle. You can take the good but you gotta be there when the bad comes.


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When will Survivor and Amazing Race come to an end? Hopefully never. I've been watching those two shows since 2003, pretty much every episode of every season, and it really never gets old. Just like football never gets old, baseball never gets old, making money on the stock market never gets old, the news never gets old, Jeopardy never gets old, those 2 reality shows never get old. You know how I know? Cuz they would have been cancelled already due to bad ratings if it got old for people. We're in Survivor 23 now and Amazing Race 18, and each show has seen hundreds of contestants, but each year viewers like me keep coming back. For the Amazing Race, it's the thrill of the chase, the excitement of traveling to new and exotic places all while triggering your competitive juices in a run-for-your-life race, while Survivor is exactly what we face in our everyday interactions with people: co-existing with others, getting annoyed at some and wishing we could vote them off like in Survivor, all while trying to stay alive in a game of human chess: You win or you go home with nothing. I hope Survivor and the Amazing Race stay alive primarily because I'm still YEARNING to get on, but also because they're the equivalent of addictive potato chips: I just can't get enough of them, and I'll be watching.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

The Smartest Guy in the Industry

Recently I've come to a revelation: I'm not that smart.

As arrogant as this seems in that it presupposes that I AM smart and also indicates that I once thought I WAS pretty smart, I think it's a very humble and honest assessment of my place in the world.

In grade school up until high school, I felt smart. Things came easily, I did my homework quickly, I got good grades, got awards for being smart. Yay for me. Everybody congratulated me, I tooted my own horn, felt great. BAM....get to college, and find out everyone at college did pretty well in high school too...so it's the cream of the crop. It's harder to get an A, people in discussions think of things that I never thought of, others' essays are more brilliantly written, things don't come so easily to me anymore, I often find myself confused. Go to law school, find out there's even SMARTER people here, it's the cream of the cream of the crop from college, and now I'm definitely not at the elite status. People do better than me in school, people think more clearly,


this is definitely a problem in a knowledge industry. Especially in a field like law (kind of like philosophy, mathematics, etc.), it's an industry primarily based on knowlege, and the smartest guys in the industry are the ones people want to hire, people look to. Not being smart in this industry is definitely a problem.

But it's not a mortal failing. I can still go back to my main strengths: determination, work ethic, and a new one I'm finding quite suitable for myself: likability. As much as I don't get something, or have a hard time understanding a concept, I make up for it by reading it over and over again, owning it. If all else fails, I admit defeat, and try to wiggle out through some self-deprecating humor.

It's definitely a limitation I'm a little worried about, but I have to keep it in perspective: I'm a law school graduate from a top law school who will hopefully (gulp, cross fingers) be licensed to practice law in California very soon. I don't have to be the smartest guy in the industry; I'm already pretty smart. (Keep telling myself that, keep telling myself that)


Now a little note about the Penn St. scandal that's been all over the news: If you haven't been following, Penn St. assistant coach Jerry Sandusky allegedly took showers with several boys at Penn State facilitiates over the span of more than a decade but was never stopped by Penn State officials, and head coach Joe Paterno knew about the behavior but only reported to the higher authorities.

Here's my feeling: I love kids. I've always stated that. I love their enthusiasm, their energy for life; it can be one of the best times in a person's life. But it can also be the worst, because you can be taken advantage of by adults who abuse their position of power. This is the worst kind of abuse of power oo: Using the power to exploit other people who are powerless into doing what you want for you. We as adults have so much power to make a positive change in a child's life, and that responsibility is an ultimate duty that we cannot breach. You can breach your duty to clean up after yourself, you can breach your duty to feed your pets, you can even breach your duty to be a good spouse (although, not recommended), but you CANNOT breach your duty to a child. That duty is inherent the day you become an adult and applies to everyone, even those who do not actively victimize children but know that it is going on. You have a duty to each and every child that is living, especially when you know they are being victimized by someone they cannot combat. So shame on you, Joe Paterno, shame on you, Penn St. administration and everyone who took a blind eye. May your failings be a lesson and a reminder to us all of what children mean to us.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

NFL Rewind

Not a salesperson for the National Football League, but nfl.com has this nice feature called NFL Rewind that lets you go back and watch all the games for the whole season for a pretty-neat deal of $40.00 for the whole season. Get a couple of your friends to chip in, gather around, each game only lasts about an hour for the "full version," 30 minutes for the condensed. Nothing like the 3-hour marathons you sludge through on Sundays. Only problem with it? You don't get the games until the day AFTER the games are played, when all the excitement is gone and your co-workers at the water cooler have already talked about it. I still love it. Great for tracking your fantasy players' progress.

Now imagine if you had this feature for life....called Life Rewind. O man, how useful would that be. Top 5 things I could use it for:

1.) Rewind and watch myself in key moments of my life, like job interviews, dates, sports games, etc......watch myself and evaluate my own performance.

2.) Go back and relive cool moments in your life, or vacations.....see what you missed. It's like watching a movie a second time.... you always find something new. That would be what Life Rewind would be all about. I'm a guy who dwells on things (for example, I look back on my high school chess games all the time and think what I could have done differently), so Rewind would allow me to go back and relive.

3.) Fast forward through the boring stuff. The long rides in traffic, boredom, hearing your parents lecture you about brushing your teeth the right way, blah, blah, blah......"

4.) Settle your doubts. If you're anything like me and are awaiting the California bar results, it's the sense of not knowing that's driving you crazy. What if you missed this issue on the test? What did I answer for that specific question? Life Rewind would let you go back and know what you did, when you did it.....at least you would know.


Anyway, now that I think about it, probably not as cool, and seems like a terrible waste of time.....gotta live in the now, plan for the future....the past is behind us.

Which is why I'm looking ahead to the rest of the fantasy football season.

Fred Jackson can't continue to be the #1 running back in all of fantasy, can he? I'd let someone else take a chance. However, remind yourself that football more than any other season is very different year to year.....you'll never have a nobody in fantasy baseball finish in the top 5 in all of fantasy, but you might get TWO in fantasy football (Peyton Hillis, Mike Vick last year), so you never know.

I'd avoid trading heavy for Running backs. The way RB's take abuse and get injured this year, I'd take a chance on any other position. Hate to try to predict injuries, but just look at Jamaal Charles, Felix Jones, Darren McFadden, and Peyton Hillis and you know I'm right. Backup RB's can also fill in and do the job right away....WR's and TE's usually cannot. Certainly not QB's......Donald Brown can do just as good a job as Joseph Addai, Chris Ivory for Mark Ingram, Jackie Battle for Jamaal Charles, to name a few. It takes a while for receivers to build a repertoire with QB's even if they step into a featured role... the QB can just go elsewhere.

Buy Ben Roethlisberger. The casual fan might not know it and think the Steelers are a ground-and-pound football team with lots of running, but that's dead run. Big Ben operates a spread offense-like attack and hands it off only as a breather and to keep the defense honest. Also with that, take Steeler WR/TE's.

I TOLD you about Mike Vick. For the umpteenth time since Vick broke into the league, the Bears handled him and exposed how you beat him on Monday Night Football. I'd stay away from his WR's neither, but not Shady McCoy. He's a beast.

More from my NFL Rewind observations: Aaron Rodgers will throw at least 3 touchdown passes every play, and they have like 1 rushing TD all season and no 100-yard rushing days. It's strictly passing all the way.

The Seahawks are bad. But you didn't need me to tell you that.

Jake Ballard and Victor Cruz are like the best receiving targets for Eli Manning, and Manning throws a lot. Get them.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

New York City Weekend

Just got off a grueling 3-day weekend spent in NYC. Took one-stop connections there AND back (so 4 planes all told), lotsa subways, slept on wooden floors, and verbally assaulted by enraged taxi drivers. But I'm alive.

Observations about NYC:

1. There's a noticeable difference between "Uptown NYC" and "Downtown NYC." East Village, Manhattan, Downtown is very nice, you got Wall Street, Central Park, Fifth Avenue, nice shops, great restaurants, great sights. But once you go up the subway to like the Bronx, it gets shady.... it looks more run-down, not-so squeaky clean anymore. It's perceptible just by riding the "4" "5" or "6" subways. Big difference just by the type and demeanor people getting on and off at different stops. Really highlights the "have and have-not" culture of the U.S., especially in the preeminent city in America, the Big Apple.

2. LaGuardia's a lot closer to everything than JFK, and riding into LaGuardia at 6:00PM evening gets you a GREAT view of the whole city. Holy moly, was I glad I stuck w/ a left-side aisle seat on the way there. Citi Field, Hudson Bay, Downtown Manhattan, Statue of Liberty, etc., etc. I highly recommend it.

3. NYC Marathon is a pretty big deal. Happened to be there this weekend, and visited in Central Park. Pretty cool; goal is to one day run in one of these, whether it be LA, Chicago, Boston, or NY.

4. Highland Park is apparently the big, bad, new thing in NYC, and it really matches the hype. Pretty much a big part on top of a bunch of buildings, it gets you a pretty clear view of a lot of NYC. Liked it.

5. Found it ironic that the Occupy Wall Street protestors are within shouting range of the 9/11 World Trade Center Memorial. The two most defining events of the last decade, represented within a 2-block radius, with contrasting messages highlighted by loss and tragedy. There's got to be a poem in there somewhere, it seems intensely ironic.

6. Lotsa, lotsa couples walking around NYC. It's stunning how many faces you see just walking around; whereas LA is defined by people driving around in their cars behind a shield made of protective steel (a.k.a. your car), in NYC people are always out, there's nowhere to hide.

7. Rudeness. Yea, East Coasters are rude. I mean, it's not just me, my New York friends were telling me about this before I even got there. Cab drivers give you a hard time if you don't tip them enough (first-hand experience), people walking behind you get peeved if you don't jaywalk in an obvious situation, drivers honk at the slightest perceived slight, etc., etc. If you think LA didn't have patience for people, o jeez wait for NY. Although, it makes you wonder, doesn't it? Weren't we all, no matter where we grew up, taught the same basic lessons of manners and sympathy for each other? Empathy/put yourself in others' shoes? I feel like somewhere along the way in the busy, make money-or-leave atmosphere of New York, those basic tenets of life fade way to capitalism and individualism. The city is that powerful.

8. O ya, everything in New York costs A LOT. Biggest motivator for me yet to make money in this world: New York will take your money and take a LOT of it. $6 for a hot dog (and not even at a baseball stadium). $15 for a bowl of Ramen. $2.25 in a subway to go 3 blocks. In no other city, I feel, are you defined so much by the way you dress/how much you make/your overall success. The whole city seems to demand that you be successful, or leave.

9. Yankee Stadium- made possibly my one and only trip. Pretty cool.

10. Times Square- tourist trap. Sure you got the bright lights and all, but you also got so many people you can hardly breathe. Avoid. (Sell, sell, sell)


All in all, my research of NYC this weekend and over the years ( remind me to relate the story of the 2003 NYC Blackout that I lived through) suggest that I should NOT live in New York. Not now; not ever: Don't try to worm your way into the Big Apple.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan


Robert Yan

Yea, It's the Freakin' Weekend

Title inspired by a recent song (not sure of the song or the artist, just that it's super-catchy) that is right-on about the anxious waiting for the weekend to begin.

Now that I'm working, I appreciate the weekend that much more. You have 5 days working, and just 2 days of the weekend, plus the goes-very-quickly Friday night. Here's a sample of what I've done the last few weekends:

1. Sit home and read the WSJ
2. Sit home and watch movies
3. Tennis on Saturday mornings.
4. Run up and down the stairs to save time not having to run outside.
5. Work out (probably the only time I have to develop my killer biceps, and by killer I mean very miniscule)
6. Santa Anita racetrack( went with work to bet on some horses, as luck would have it I bet on 4 different horses, none won, lost $20).
7. Watched NFL football at a bar with friends.
8. Survivor audition video (haven't heard back, probably have been rejected by reality TV for the 6th time).
9. study Chinese.
10. Halloween event at a bar

Notice nothing in there about a "date" or "wild party" or "stayed out all night." Man, by the end of the week I have no energy BUT to rest a bit at home and do some menial activities. Friday night, instead of being a big go-out time, is unwind and watch a movie time. Plus, I travel so much in my car from Monday to Friday I don't want to go anywhere during the week, just sit home for a while and enjoy some me-time, not go back outside and face the world. It's really a completely different mindset than when I was a 3L, when it was "go out, meet people, enjoy life, don't spend a second at home wasting your last year of freedom." Now that I'm not free, I am almost allergic to "freeing" activities.


* Btw, I do realize that the lack of date thing needs to change. I'm 24.5 years old and have been pretty much single exclusively throught law school....Ladies, you're telling me this blog doesn't convince you of how cool I am?


So yea, the bottom line is, I enjoy my weekend now in totally different ways. And I'm okay with it. Ultimately, the weekend is about how YOU want to enjoy YOUR free time, not how society usually spends it, or how other people spend it. It's what YOU feel like doing. Sometimes (Many times) there's nothing better than to just sit home and let the cable TV wash over you. As you listen to the song, "Yea, it's the freakin' weekend......"


O, here's a tip: Get the NFL Rewind package for $40.00 for the whole season, split the prescription with a friend, total cost $20.00 for all the games you want to see in their entirety. Great deal if you like football; I get all Charger games, all Bears games, and all my fantasy players' scoring plays. It's like heroin for fantasy football fanatics.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Mr. Yan Enters The Working World

So Yea, the end of September and all of October went by in a blur. My last post, September 18, was the day before I entered into the Full-Time Working World, My Last Day of Freedom, if you will. Since then.....it's been difficult. I've worked internships before, with summer jobs and 40-hour-a-week gigs sprinkled in there, but working full time is tough, especially since my job is like 1.5 hours and a harrowing (well, not harrowing but strenuous) 70-mile drive through suburban Los Angeles. I've found a law school friend of mine who will house my a couple nights of the week at his home closer to work, but still it's difficult.

It's hard to describe what the working world feels like. The positives: there's no more homework, the first time I've been able to say that since.....well, 4 years old, I think. I get paid. Not all that much, but I get paid for my labor, which is necessary since my first law school loan payment is due Dec. 24. I learn on the job......you know how they say you learn a lot more on the job than in school? "They"'re probably right. And I want that experience, I need that experience. Work leads to more work, which in itself is a little exciting but a little scary at the same time: You're an adult now.

The negatives: Long hours. Obviously different for different jobs, but I suspect many people share my same conditions: hours and hours at your desk in front of a computer, only briefly interrupted by the lunch hour, and constant drone of work. At school, you go to class for an hour or two, take a break, walk around, go to your next class....work is one long 9-hour stretch that blends into each other. A boss or two will monitor your work; you have assignments that actually need to be turned in (especially at a law firm, where there's court deadlines and whatnot). The most negative part of working (note: these are not at all complaints about the law firm I work at, which I actually like, these are complaints about work in general, the lifeblood of most humans everywhere where we spend almost half our waking hours but ironically kind of sucks the life out of us).

Anyway, long way of saying it's been a long 6.5 weeks (which isn't even as long as my longest stints of internships). It unfortunately leaves little time for me to do the other things in life I enjoy: Tennis, running, fantasy football, TV shows, web surfing, watching sports, reading novels, reading newspapers, trading stocks, visiting friends, vegetating, etc. etc. It alerts me to a somewhat grim but necessary reality: I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my working life (at least 40 years or so). Unless I'm struck my lightening, the world ends, or I win a ridiculous amount of winnings on the lottery, I will be working for the foreseeable future, and I have responsbilities to myself and others to do a good job. I'm up to the challenge.

I've been re-learning a lot of Chinese the last few weeks while at work (during my down-time); it's pretty exciting. I'm pretty sure I can go to China and live with the natives now, no problem; even maybe hold a job there, not that I'm considering that. But it really speaks to the whole "immersion" experience: You have to be in the environment of it, have to force yourself into situations where you use a different language, hear the other language, process the other language, feel it in your bones. Pretty much only way to get better for normal folk like me (maybe some language prodigies can just pick up a language from reading a book?) I can't. Heck, I've been learning and re-learning Chinese for 24 years now......I'm still not all the way there yet.

Quick suggestion: watch a Chinese TV show with subtitles. Specific one I just wrapped up is called "Marriage Battle" about contemporary Chinese families. Great show, gives you subtitles, and gives you a good sense (I think) of what goes on in modern Chinese society (the new Superpower of the World, rumor has it). Where can it be found? The Great Holy Channel that is Youtube.

I got a lot of catching up to do to match or exceed the 88 blog posts of 2010, back when I was still a student. Alas, I'll suck it up and give it my best shot for the rest of 2011.

Btw, My fantasy football winning streak is at 6. Lovin' life.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Halloween Happiness

Halloween's my second favorite holiday. I don't do much for my birthdays (if you count that as a holiday), I do nothing for Easter, eat a lot and feel bloated on Chinese New Year, feel sad that another year has passed on (The Normal) New Year's, eat a lot and feel bloated on Thanksgiving, celebrate off-days from school on MLK Day, Labor Day, etc. which I won't be getting off anymore depending on where I work, so yeah, Halloween and Christmas are pretty much it.


I love handing out candy. Something about it is gratifying; people from the rest of the community come to your door and share in the occasion that is Halloween: the yearly handoff of candy from one stranger to the next, which is basically an exchange because most likely as you're handing out candy to these strangers at your door, their parents/relatives are handing out candy at the same time to your children/relatives, so it's just a lot of candy changing hands.

I love it for another reason: I get to scare people. Ooooo boy. 3 years ago, my sister bought a Scream outfit with a bloody Scream mask.... it's really not that scary so much as scary, but to evidence the reality of "scary" being one-half being startled, people get really scared when they come to the door, it suddenly bursts open, and out pops me in the Scream costume right in their face!!!!! Awesome; I love it. Here are tips to pull this off, for those who share in my ambition of scaring others:

1. Only try it on Halloween night. You can't do this regularly and get away with it; It's once a year, one night only.
2. Obviously, wear something that's at least a little scary. No need to overdo it and get 3 costume designers, but a mask/face paint is necessary for the proper effect.
3. Wait right behind the front door for people to come. Don't let them see you!!!! (through the windows or something, it ruins the surprise) It takes some patience, I know. I've tried outside in the bushes, the garage, and other places. The door works the best, for you and for the element of the surprise.
4. As you're waiting behind the door, look through your peephole for people to come. Also use those flaps of skin hanging off your head, a.k.a. your ears, for enthusiastic victims, er, trick-or-treaters.
5. Timing is key: Just as your (victims) get to the door and are about to ring the doorbell, don't give them a chance to and rip open the door, and in one smooth motion (it has to be smooth, darn it!) jump out through the door at them. Not TOO close......
6. Watch out for kids. 4 ft and below is a good standard, I say, for how short is too short. Sure it's funny scary really young kids and making them have nightmares, but it's too easy. You want a challenge? Try scaring a skeptical 17-year-old teenager who's seen it all and wants to challenge your "aesthetic" interpretation of the Scream character and compare it to other mega-villains of horror films. Scare that kid and you get a bonus prize.
7. For added effect, after you hand out the candy to the kids, follow them creepily as they move on to the next house. That look over the shoulder might not indicate total fright, but I bet there were some goosebumps and shivers forming on the backs of those kids.
8. Probably the most important: DON'T SAY ANYTHING!!!! Especially if you're a non-human thing like Scream (who doesn't talk in the movie) or like a werewolf or something. It's the creepiness factor that gets to kids: Talking just humanizes and spoils the character; this is like Acting 101, I bet. If you want to be even creepier, pause a while and just stare at the kids. I got a couple kids to slink back toward their mommies waiting in the trick-or-treat van just by standing still.


This is just a little creepy tradition of mine; it's always fun and inspired by some of the houses I used to trick-or-treat at: dads faking their own deaths, scarecrows popping out of nowhere, etc. Halloween is the one time of year you get to be someone else for a change: why not be someone super-scary?

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan