Halloween's my second favorite holiday. I don't do much for my birthdays (if you count that as a holiday), I do nothing for Easter, eat a lot and feel bloated on Chinese New Year, feel sad that another year has passed on (The Normal) New Year's, eat a lot and feel bloated on Thanksgiving, celebrate off-days from school on MLK Day, Labor Day, etc. which I won't be getting off anymore depending on where I work, so yeah, Halloween and Christmas are pretty much it.
I love handing out candy. Something about it is gratifying; people from the rest of the community come to your door and share in the occasion that is Halloween: the yearly handoff of candy from one stranger to the next, which is basically an exchange because most likely as you're handing out candy to these strangers at your door, their parents/relatives are handing out candy at the same time to your children/relatives, so it's just a lot of candy changing hands.
I love it for another reason: I get to scare people. Ooooo boy. 3 years ago, my sister bought a Scream outfit with a bloody Scream mask.... it's really not that scary so much as scary, but to evidence the reality of "scary" being one-half being startled, people get really scared when they come to the door, it suddenly bursts open, and out pops me in the Scream costume right in their face!!!!! Awesome; I love it. Here are tips to pull this off, for those who share in my ambition of scaring others:
1. Only try it on Halloween night. You can't do this regularly and get away with it; It's once a year, one night only.
2. Obviously, wear something that's at least a little scary. No need to overdo it and get 3 costume designers, but a mask/face paint is necessary for the proper effect.
3. Wait right behind the front door for people to come. Don't let them see you!!!! (through the windows or something, it ruins the surprise) It takes some patience, I know. I've tried outside in the bushes, the garage, and other places. The door works the best, for you and for the element of the surprise.
4. As you're waiting behind the door, look through your peephole for people to come. Also use those flaps of skin hanging off your head, a.k.a. your ears, for enthusiastic victims, er, trick-or-treaters.
5. Timing is key: Just as your (victims) get to the door and are about to ring the doorbell, don't give them a chance to and rip open the door, and in one smooth motion (it has to be smooth, darn it!) jump out through the door at them. Not TOO close......
6. Watch out for kids. 4 ft and below is a good standard, I say, for how short is too short. Sure it's funny scary really young kids and making them have nightmares, but it's too easy. You want a challenge? Try scaring a skeptical 17-year-old teenager who's seen it all and wants to challenge your "aesthetic" interpretation of the Scream character and compare it to other mega-villains of horror films. Scare that kid and you get a bonus prize.
7. For added effect, after you hand out the candy to the kids, follow them creepily as they move on to the next house. That look over the shoulder might not indicate total fright, but I bet there were some goosebumps and shivers forming on the backs of those kids.
8. Probably the most important: DON'T SAY ANYTHING!!!! Especially if you're a non-human thing like Scream (who doesn't talk in the movie) or like a werewolf or something. It's the creepiness factor that gets to kids: Talking just humanizes and spoils the character; this is like Acting 101, I bet. If you want to be even creepier, pause a while and just stare at the kids. I got a couple kids to slink back toward their mommies waiting in the trick-or-treat van just by standing still.
This is just a little creepy tradition of mine; it's always fun and inspired by some of the houses I used to trick-or-treat at: dads faking their own deaths, scarecrows popping out of nowhere, etc. Halloween is the one time of year you get to be someone else for a change: why not be someone super-scary?
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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