Dear Fantasy Basketball Manager,
After a prolonged hiatus in the fantasy basketball season, we are pleased to welcome in the new fantasy basketball season as well as provide you the third annual Fantasy SportsGuru Headhunter Letter. Our first year, we did you wrong, but last year our results were much improved as we brought you the great wisdom to draft Kevin Love, who is now a top-5 fantasy player, predicted the quick adjustment of Mr. John Wall to the NBA, and steered you away from the declining Tim Duncan and the difficult progress of Danny Granger.
Once again in 2011, We here at FantasySportGuru Headhunter, Inc. have thoroughly researched the diverse applicant pool that was made avilable to us and and come to conclusions on several remarkable candidates. Russell Westbrook is young and enterprising candidate now in his 4th year with the same organization; in each year of his career he has improved his performance and added to his totals, and this year should be no exception, especially with his new acquired skill set of the 3-point shot. Somewhat displeased with his placement in his current position and geographical location in the Bible Belt, Mr. Westbrook can be bought on to your team and become a highly motivated and durable leader (he's not missed a single day fo work in his career).
Another strong but less-regarded candidate is one Jrue Holiday, an even younger performer than Russell Westbrook but also with a UCLA pedigree, Mr. Holiday is entering the prime of his work life (thrid year player) who is well-liked by his coaches, former players, and has earned the trust of his organization. Don't miss out on this opportunity t capture Mr. Holiday's services before he spreads his wings and becomes an unattainably valuable resource.
Call it our new organizational philosophy, but we truly like young, up-and-coming talent here at FantasySportGuru Headhunter, so we would be remiss not to mention another great candidate for success, Mr. Wesley Mathews. Mr. Wesley Mathews has thrived despite intense comeptition in his current field, but with his colleagues Brandon Roy going into early retirement, we believe Mr. Mathews will grab the reins of opportunity and carry your team to the Promised Land.
As always, we must caution you against some fraudulent candidates that carry multiple red flags. Deron Williams is believed by many to be a great asset, but his outer appearance belies unfortunate numbers that will detract from your organization. Take more than a casual look at his statistics and you will find that you can do better for less than what Mr. Williams's services are going him; let another organization deal with his less-than-stellar production.
Although Mr. Kobe Bryant's name rings out throughout the world of true basketball, in Fantasy Basketball Land he is an aging superstar wth a new coach, nagging injuries, and most likely a diminished offensive role now that Howard or Paul are coming to help him out. With the abundance of young, fresh talent on the market, it would be risky, even foolish to retain the name-brand but low-quality Mr. Bryant. Similar to Mr. Tim Duncan last year, we feel that unfortunately Mr. Bryant's best years, especially in Fantasy Land, are behind him.
Also, do not draft the annual comeback-player-of-the-year tease, Mr. Elton Brand. The next time he actually meets expectatios will be his first since 2000; he has been a very mediocre fantasy player for a decade, and now over the age of 30, Mr. Brand will not be learning new skills and the decline will come. Despite his professional attitude, strong educational pedigree (Duke), and survivable numbers, Mr. Brand is prone to injury and will drag down your organization. Please do not invest in the services of this man.
We know that you will have many questions and doubts throughout the season about your employees, invovling many trials and tribulations, and you will develop personal relationships with the employees that you do eventually hire. We recommend that you hire mostly with cold hard facts and our numbers, (partly because if you don't in real life there's bound to be employment litigation in your future), but also so that you can have fun with your employees; you will enjoy yourself if you do not enjoy the people around you. And that's really what it's all about.
Fantasize on,
Fantasysportguru Headhunter, Inc.,
Chairman, President, and Omincient Ruler,
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