Dreamin' in California

Long time no chat.

I know the question on everyone’s mind: Why have I been gone for so long?

I go long stretches of times sometimes without posting (seems weird even to me especially these extended hiatuses are after periods of relative activity). I can only explain it like this: It’s a snowball effect, not unlike wearing a hat for a long time, or watching a certain TV show every week. Once you develop that routine, you don’t like to break out of it. Long way of saying “habit.” It’s not that I’ve had nothing to say these last couple months, there have been plenty of noteworthy things (I went to California Adventure on a whim, I made a few trips, made my first solo appearance in court), it’s just I didn’t feel the need to express myself. There’s probably other subconscious factors at play as well, such as 1.) feeling of loneliness, 2.) feeling of satisfaction, 3.) amount of shenanigans incurred at work that necessitates “venting”. I’m neglecting the primary reason cuz it’s one I’m not very fond of and proud of but is probably the primary reason: *LAZINESS.* It’s something I constantly criticize my sister about in her quest to get good grades/be on the tennis team/do well on the SAT, but I also fall into that trap.

Without sounding too much like Inception, Dreams are weird, man. They are, in many ways than one, like life. Sometimes they’re week, sometimes they’re strong, sometimes they last a long time, sometimes you don’t get anything. Sometimes they have no meaning whatsoever, and sometimes they are very meaningful, very real and carry a lot of weight. And many times, dreams throw you a curveball. You don’t ask for a certain type of dream because they’re not likely to grant your request… and they’re out of your control. Dreams will throw you one of the most profound experiences that you can have that you swear is real until you wake up. Last night was one of those dreams. Started off as a normal work day, then I met with a friend back in high school, whom I just reconnected with after a long hiatus, and there was a connection of love and mutual respect, with moments of “gazing into each other’s eyes” and “prolonged, caring moments.” Dreams fade faster than memories, but I distinctly remember setting up a puzzle for the United States of America and inserting a piece for Oklahoma, then leaving but coming back because I “forgot something,” invoking even more prolonged feelings. And then I woke up.

No I did not have illegal narcotics at my Fourth of July party last night.

            Probably not even blog-worthy, this dream, and I probably will forget about it by 2 months from now and then read about it on this blog like a year from now and go “O Yea that happened,” but it felt so real. The feelings felt real, the emotion felt real, the joy and elation felt real, so much so that when I woke up, I was upset at myself for waking up, wanted to go back to dreaming and being in that place, not wanting to be in this real world (which, I’m pretty lucky to be in, all things considered) to go back to that one, where everything was pure, life was simpler, and my life felt more complete. I felt like I had been dragged out of a hot shower on a cold winter day, or pulled mid-game out of a very competitive soccer match. More strikingly, it felt REAL. It felt more REAL than many things I deal with in the everyday, like I was going through the events, actually walking side by side with the girl of my dreams and her liking me back (something I’ve admittedly not happened to the extent I’ve had in my real life). I’ve only had a few dreams ever that felt like that (none that I can remember now), which gives more rise to my theories of dreams: 1.) that they’re manifestations of future predictions (getting less likely now since I remember one vivid dream about being a baseball player), 2.) that they’re a separate reality that my other-self is living in, 3.) Manifestations of someone else’s life that someone else is living. Door #4 is the Inception theory of “places your mind creates,” which I dismiss because of its lack of originality but is probably less farfetched than any of my 3 theories.

Here’s to more dreams and great experiences in those dreams for everyone. (The other thing, btw, is being able to have dreams because of good rest, which I’m lucky enough to get consistently). Not everybody gets that, but here’s hoping they do. Man I wish I could just reply that dream (like re-watching Independence Day or something). Phew!

Fantasize on (literally),

Robert Yan  

Improvements

                 So I thoroughly enjoyed myself watching the Spelling Bee on Thursday and on Thursday night, and congratulations to Snigdha Nandipati, another representative from the great Southern California area!!!! It seemed like ESPN told the Spelling Bee after last year's 1.5-hour running-overtime that they better shorten the bee either naturally or artificially, and the Spelling Bee officials complied by comprising some TOUGH rounds, including Rounds 5 and 6 early in the day that knocked the number of spellers from 42 to 9. Ouch. After the morning rounds whittled the field to 9 I fully expected Arvind Mahankali or Nicholas Rushlow to win (in fact, I put their odds of winning at around 66%) at that time, but the "dark horse" candidate Snigdha pulled it out to win. Never underestimate the 14-year-old eighth graders, I say; their brains are just a bit more developed and they don't crack under pressure. My main concern, however, was that it seems as if the Spelling Bee doesn't get much attention anymore. It used to be a pretty insignificant event that took place all on one day in the nineties, not unlike the July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest. However, it gained popularity and momentum with movies Spellbound (non-fiction) and Akeelah and the Bee (fiction) in 2002 and 2006 respectively, and suddenly in 2006 and 2007 the NSB found itself on national TV, in prime-time, on a big TV night (Thursday). But then apparently as with any TV show, the ratings dropped a bit, ABC pulled its support of the show, and now it's back to just being on ESPN.


How does the Spelling Bee get more attention, not just from nerdy spelling bee fans like myself? Here's a Modest Proposal:


 1.) Have a pool for the Spelling Bee just like the NCAA tournament: Wednesday night, just after the semifinalists are announced, post online leagues, bracket pools, fantasy leagues, whatever, for spelling bee. Allow people in the "pool" to pick 3 spellers.......(has to be more than one and probably more than two, otherwise everyone will just pick the favorites). The bee is all about personalities and getting emotionally invested in certain spellers: what better way to feed off of that than to allow the audience to "pick" spellers to root for? I imagine audience members will take combos of 1.) the favorite, 2.) sentimental favorite, and 3.) hometown/home-state hero. Also, throughout the night on Wednesday night and Thursday morning the "water-cooler" talk can be which "favorite" people in the pool picked, which dark horse candidate looks like they might make a run, etc.



 2.) Prop "fun points" - get points for things that happen on the ESPN broadcast, such as 1.) how many letters does the winning word have, 2.) What color shirt will the winner have, 3.) how many rounds will the Bee go,

 3.) Get a name-brand host. Getting a guy like Tom Bergeron was a good idea, Tom Bergeron himself was not. He didn't fit into the culture of the spelling bee, a lot of times he just didn't seem like he even understood the concept. Maybe get someone nerdy, like the guy from "The Big Bang Theory" or something.


 4.) More build-up to the bee: I know there's 200+ spellers and you can't possibly profile all of them and guess which spellers might make it to the semifinal, but the essence of "The American Bee" and "Spellbound" is the delving into the stories of the spellers, how they got to the spelling bee, how they lead different lives in different parts of the country (now world) to end up in Washington on one eventful day, the days and nights they spend studying and preparing, and the other trials and tribulations they go through in teenage adolescence. The ESPN broadcast sometimes tries to capture that, but it seems forced, artificial, in a "aw look at these kids" Disney kind of way. No, the spelling bee is more just about hard work, perseverance (like Nicholas Rushlow coming back year after year for 5 years) and putting in the hard work, and I think that's what ESPN misses. It's not cute + cuddly, it's tears + sweat not unlike the hard work professional sports players do (and sometimes even more). The kids who get to the National Spelling Bee get there because of hard work and because they want to compete, and that's why ESPN should treat it like any other sports show they do: as a competition where all spellers strive to be the winner. That's what I want to watch.




Anyway, the rest of the year will all be about improvements: 1.) Improvements in having a tidier lifestyle, 2.) Less time stuck in traffic, 3.) More productivity in the workplace 4.) Better about getting back to people emailing me, 5.) Improvement in the economy, 6.) Some charity work, 7.) Less stressing about fantasy baseball/sports in general

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

2012 National Spelling Bee- Semifinalists Announced!!!!

Several topics I want to discuss, among them my 4th annual pick for winner of the 2012 National Spelling Bee (I’m due). So this year the field for the National Spelling Bee is wide open. Unlike 2009/2011, the field is wide open (but not as wide open as 2010, when it was a veritable free-for-all).


I ended 2011 with the prophetical “2012 will be all about the Sriram (Hathwar) Express v. The Arvind (Makhtaly) Train, but apparently one of those modes of locomotives have been derailed: Sriram Hathwar, as I understand it still eligible for the Spelling Bee, is not in the semifinals. Didn’t even show up to Washington, D.C. this year. Strange, very strange. The Bee is turbulent and full of surprises, but it’s not common that someone who was a top 10, national final-level talent from the previous year will just NOT qualify for D.C. In fact of all the time I’ve been watching the Bee I don’t think that’s EVER happened. It’s like if LeBron James’s Heat didn’t make it to the NBA Finals (even chance), didn’t make it to the Eastern Conference Finals (unlikely, but could happen), but didn’t EVEN MAKE IT TO THE PLAYOFFS!!!! (almost impossible). A big loss for Sriram (where art thou, buddy? And will you be back next year to reclaim spelling glory?) but a big win for the other contenders in the field.

A note about the National Spelling Bee: I’m all about “Experience, experience, experience,” at the Bee and have a noticeable predilection towards favorites and “returners” (with good reason, I want to root for a contestant I’m familiar with, have built a TV relationship with much like I root for Tyrion Lannister in GOT), but I have to remind myself that every year at the Spelling Bee is different. A whole calendar year has passed since the last spelling bee: Contestants have moved, words have changed, new words have been added to the English language, contestants lose interest in the bee, contestants do other things, contestants get more focused, contenders become champions). A speller may be more or less prepared than he was the previous years; it’s possible that a speller has actually REGRESSED (although, not much chance of that unless you totally give up spelling for a year). That’s the nature of sports, players get better, get worse, and their ability changes. I remember my junior year of high school was my peak level of chess ability: I saw the whole board, I focused entirely on the chess, and I won almost every match I was in. I thought I’d be a year wiser, a year hungrier, a year better the next year, ready to go for a championship, but it was not to be: for whatever reason, whether it was mental, psychological, strategic, I did worse my senior year than junior year, lost more games. One of my biggest regrets ever in life but gave me a valuable life lesson: If you have a chance to do something, do it that year. Cherish it. Don’t let it slip away. There might not be a next year: Like the NBA (Chicago Bulls), people get hurt, people get old, the window of opportunity closes, etc., etc.

I hate to “lay odds” and treat Spelling Bee contestants like racehorses running the Kentucky Derby, but it’s the best way of sports-analogy statistically measuring a contestant’s chances. (For example, I know exactly what it means that the Spurs are a 2:1 favorite to win the NBA Championship.

Arvin Mahankali – 5 to 1
Nicholas Rushlow – 7 to 1
Vanya Shivashankar – 7 to 1
Grace Remmer- 8 to 1
Nabeel Rahman- 8 to 1
  Emily Keaton – 15 to 1
Snigdha Nandipati – 20 to 1
Rahul Malayappan – 30 to 1
Gina Solomito – 30 to 1
Sunny Levin – 50 to 1
Rachel Cundey- 100 to 1
Field: 20 to 1.

This reflects my best guess at the odds for the winner of the National Spelling Bee tomorrow, and I think I’ve done a pretty good job. (5 to 1 would mean I think Arvind has about a 20% shot at winning, 8 to 1 means about a 12% shot, etc.). I think the names on the list are definitely the top 10 spellers with the best chances of winning, based on experience (lots of 3-timers and 4-timers on this list) and previous finishes- just because you’ve been here 4 times doesn’t mean you have a good shot if you’ve not reached the semifinals in those 3 previous trips (i.e. Malayappan). I like Snigdha Nandipati as a darkhorse from San Diego (a very tough spelling area, plus a recent winner from there in 2005), Emily Keaton seems to have had great spelling success in her native Kentucky, but the National Finals are another matter, Nabeel Rahman could have gone higher based on his 9th place finish last year but doesn’t have the pedigree, I would have had Vanya at like 30 to 1 earlier today based on the fact she’s TEN YEARS OLD, but having Kavya as her sister and having the only perfect score in the written round really shoots her up to the odds and would be the “hot pick” if this were real gambling, and I do think tomorrow a boy breaks the streak of female winners, and Arvind or Nick Rushlow (been there FIVE TIMES!!!!) takes it down. My guess, however, is that Darren Rovell + most bloggers will take the extremely bubbly-plus-talented Vanya Shivashankar as the “public pick,” and they may be right. I just don’t see a 10-year old winning it this year: Certainly from 2012-2014 these are Golden Years for Vanya and I think she’s gonna win one of the next 2. Can’t wait for another installation of the Early-Summer Classic: The National Spelling Bee.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Memorial Day

Memorial Day: I understand the importance of Memorial Day, know what it signifies, know what it means for America, but I’ve just never got involved with it. It’s not a holiday that resonates with me: None of my family members have ever been involved with the military, I’m not particularly fond of war, etc., etc. Doesn’t mean I don’t like Memorial Day- it happens to be the holiday that comes at a crucial time to break up the monotony of the late spring-early summer and marks the beginning of the dog days of summer. The days are the longest, the weather is the best (especially in Southern California), and that extra day off work is SO necessary. Plus it’s another day off the long work week the NEXT WEEK. O I love it. ….PLUS Memorial Day kicks off “Bee Week,” something I’ve cherished since 2007. One day I will make it to Washington D.C. (hopefully as an invited guest due to one of my children/relatives making it there via qualifying for the National Spelling Bee), but that’s pretty far in the future. Wouldn’t want to be the creeper that’s just “there” with other people’s kids. But I love the festivities surrounding bee week, discussing favorites, catching up on what past spellers are doing (not surprising that a LOT of bee veterans that we watched year ago end up at top colleges around the country) and see what other bee bloggers/etc. are “buzzing” about. It’ also a good time to re-watch either 1.) Akeelah and the Bee (2006 movie), 2.) Spellbound (2002 documentary), and/or 3.) read “American Bee” by James Maguire (2005 book). All are recommended, for Spellbound it’d be my 10th or 11th time watching it, and I can pretty much spell all the words given in that movie. More bee coverage to come involving discussion of favorites…..I’m sure it’s not lost on people that the last 3 years have been dominated by girls (Shivashankar, Veeramani, and Roy)…..hint: I’m picking a boy this year. Anyway, Memorial Day is a good chance to “memorialize” what I’ve been up to the last month….It’s been a blur of a month that’s seen my birthday, attending a boyhood friend’s wedding, another trip to Vegas, lots of litigation, and moving out into a new address. O and Game of Thrones. I cannot believe there is only one Game of Thrones episode left this season. Can. Not. Get. Enough. Of. That. Show. Remind myself to do a “Game of Thrones” blog after the season finale next week…..kind of like a “The 10 People You meet on the Wire” segment. Going to Vegas for the umpteenth time in the last 4 years gives me some perspective: I’m never gonna win a lot of money in Vegas. You don’t win a lot unless you’re willing to bet a lot, and I’m not foolish enough to put enough money on anything that might hurt me. It’s basically this axiom: To win enough to have it matter you have to risk enough to be have it hurt, and since chances are you’re gonna get hurt, I don’t chance it. Another axiom to go by: “If you can only be happy if you win at Vegas, you’re gonna be unhappy at least half the time.” Seriously, think about it. Don’t gamble to win. Final axiom about Vegas: After dropping friend off at McCarron Airport (the airport next to the Strip in Vegas), do NOT miss the off-ramp to the 15-South to LA. We kept going on the 215 North and 20 minutes of Highway hypnosis and impeccable obliviousness later, the road stopped at a street light, at which point we realized that “Peccadillo, Nevada” is not where we wanted to be. If you ever bet on the UFC (why would you want to?), it seems like betting on the “meaner” guy does the trick. Seemed like each time the guy who “wanted it” more won. Including Julio Dos Santos, current UFC Champion, who crushed, I mean CRUSHED, Frank Mir. O and get ready for blood. I…….was not ready for blood. If you’re a fluent Chinese speaker out there reading this blog and don’t speak Japanese and have never thought about it, seriously, try it out. You already know more than you think. The “Kanji” of Japanese is almost word-for-word like Chinese, almost like someone “lifted” it from someone else (not implicating anything, just speculating), but the good news for Japanese/Chinese speakers alike is that it makes it much easier to learn the other language. Maybe it’s just me, but learning a new language is just refreshing: don’t know why I didn’t feel it for French, but I just feel a sense of accomplishment, a sense of purpose, with each new Japanese word/phrase that I pick up. Does anyone share my feeling of having tickets to Game 7 of your favorite sports team’s playoff game, then watching them blow a 4th quarter Game 6 lead and lose in the final seconds because of 2 missed free throws? It happened to me with the Bulls, and I’ve just haven’t been able to get over it. I so wanted to go to that game. Game 7 was on my bucket list and I was denied. The wound is still fresh and the scars have not healed. May June (get it, get it) bring fresh stories and fresh memories. But for now, let the 2012 Spelling Bee begin!!! Fantasize on, Robert Yan

Weddings

       

  Went to my second ever wedding today: the brother of one of my good friends' wedding. Conicidentally on mother's day and on the bride's birthday. Seems...very fitting in that one of the main things mothers want for their children....is to get married, so in some sense it's actually the best Mother's Day gift a child could give to a mother. Different emotions about this wedding, but one particular thought came out of it: One day I'd like my own wedding. Looks like a lot of work, looks like a lot of planning, a lot of money involved, but ultimately it signals one undeniable fact: You're married. You found the person you've been looking for all your life to share your life with, and that person has decided that Yes, they'd like to spend the rest of their life with you. Granted, you can say all you want about arranged marriages, marriages for power, political marriages, etc., etc., but marriage still signifies the bringing together of two people who (more or less) love each other (notice I stated "people," not "a man and a woman," which should be an indication of where I stand on gay marriage.) Wedding is also a milestone for a person: growing from a young child to an adolescent to going away to college (or whatever you choose to do after high school) to becoming an adult and working and then finally finding your spouse: a fulfillment of life's cycle. I want that. A couple years ago it would have seemed cliche and unoriginal to do that, but at this point in my life (I'm "newly" 25)



          I'm ready to make a commitment. It's not my parents prodding me whether I've found a girlfriend yet, it's not the fact that several of my friends are in long-term relationships and may be getting married in the near future (if not already married), but I'm ready to make a long-term commitment with someone, to experience one of the best things in life: loving someone. I'm not gonna rush it, I'm not gonna force it, and I'm certainly not gonna force someone else into it, but somewhere, sometime, there's a Mrs. Yan (Omg I cannot believe I am writing this in my past-midnight post-wedding haze which will surely be used against me at some point) out there that I will find, and we'll be happy together. And we'll have a wedding. On Mother's Day. O and I got killed 9-1 in fantasy baseball this week. Bleh.



 Fantasize on, Robert Yan

Birthdays

         
       Birthdays used to be fun, but they're not terrible now.  
          Best Birthdays ever: First birthday party in America, invite all the little friends over, baseball in the backyard, hot summer day, water guns, hose came out......great birthday, a big "Welcome to America."


          Best part of 25th birthday: You've still got half your twenties left.
           Worst part of 25th birthday: You've only got half your twenties left.
            Most entertaining part of 25th birthday: Getting all the facebook messages from your facebook friends. Makes you feel important, at least for one day.
           Most trite part of 25th birthday: The birthday cake. After 25 years of birthday cakes, it kinda becomes a hassle. I liked it, even looked forward to it as a kid, but now I can't help but think how many calories are in each bite, which one's more fatty, a red velvet cake or an ice cream cake. Not for me. If you want to celebrate my birthday, I'd rather have a fruit salad bonanza, please.
             Most untrue part of 25th birthday: The "make a wish..." hose wishes don't necessarily come true, let's put it that way. However, I've learned to keep my wishes a little more realistic and not so self-serving....that's the trick, I think, wish for something that benefits someone else.
          Age I felt like birthdays were not the best for one's feeling of youth: 22. 21 was much-anticipated, then didn't want to get any older. If only we can all be 22. I'm sure I'll be saying that about 25 three years from now. It's only downhill from here, I guess.
          Myth about "Your fantasy teams know it's your birthday and will produce"- not necessarily true. Not a bad offensive jolt from my team today, though...JP Arencibia and Matt Joyce, thanks for your contributions."
         Worst timing for your 25th birthday: Wednesday. Middle of the week, can't celebrate it prematurily, can't backdate it. Gotta go to work anyway, can't just take it off. I think Tuesday might be bad for this as well.
        Most overhyped birthay: 21st. Everyone's pretty much had alcohol then, tend to drink too much, pass out way early in the night. O that was just me?
        Worst time of month to have a birthday: I'd give my birthday (May) as a good candidate just for the college years/law school years cuz it was always finals time or studying for finals, so basically I'd be studying for finals or taking a final on the day. I'd also say having a birthday on any holliday is also pretty bad just because of the superseding effects of that holiday, but the WORST date to have a birthday probably has to be February 29th.......You get 4x less birthdays. That sucks. Ultimately, now that I'm an adult, I feel like birthdays take on new meaning: they signify the start of a new year, fresh possibilities, and a day where you feel special, but it cuts both ways: they also signfiy that you're now officially older. No more being in denial that "you'll be 25 in a few weeks but you're still 24, no more "I'm still young and I'm only this old so I got time,".... it's the official mark of one more year of life that you've used up. Makes you want to do something special, do something out of the ordinary to relish your life that you've wanted to do for a long time......which is why I'm going home to Chicago this weekend. Sweet home Chicago!!!


 Fantasize on, Robert Yan

Nose to the Grindstone- A Poem of Sorrow and Regret

Nose to the Grindstone


 O how I dread Monday Mornings
 Sunday nights become advance warning
s Like an impending doom
 Can’t sweep it away with a broom
 Wish I could fly away like ZOOM.

 Judges are on the attack
 Opposing counsel no holding back
 Attitude these lawyers do not lack.
 When did trying to do by my client right
 Become such an uphill fight?

 Dealing with bosses
 Coping with Courtroom losses
 By eating burritos with special sauces
 Sitting in front of a screen all day
 Watching life drift away.

 No time for friends,
 No time for email sends,
 Wish time really bends,
 So I could go back to a happier time
 Where I could drop everything on a dime
 And taking an off day wasn’t a crime.

 Never wanted to grow up
 Always stay a little pup
 Now life’s grown on me quick as a hiccup
 Now I really know why they say that little ditty
 With great power comes great responsibility

. Social life totally out of the way,
 Just trying to get through it day by day.
 Don’t have the energy to go out and par-tay.
 No time to satiate parental demand for a wife. 
 Why o why did I choose this life?


 Fantasize on, Robert Yan