I often wish I could go back in time, and I haven't been successful in doing so yet, but if I found a way to do so, two major times in my life would be at the top of the destinations list: 1.) right after high school before college, and 2.) right after college before law school. If I could go back in time and tell my 18-year-old or 21-year-old self something, this is what it would be:
1.) Life really starts after high school. Whatever you did during high school and before, doesn't really matter because your life can has the largest combination of possible results, can go in so many different directions from there. Don't dwell on what happened before (I was still dwelling on not being able to win a chess championship in high school), go forth with a fresh mind, say yes to most of the things you want to do and is within your budget and not illegal, Try everything! (from the Disney movie Zootopia, although that song itself is more trying to get people to buy more products, almost all inspirational songs are like that, I learned that after college).
2.) I didn't have a good concept of money during high school, after all you just get your lunch money every day and some allowance, and life is good, right? College is the first major expense any kid really goes through, and the amount of money probably doesn't hit home until years later, when you have to work for that money. My parents even paid for my first car! That's why my friends' parents made him pay for his own college or go into debt, to instill a sense of financial responsibility (not the worst idea).Money can't buy everything, but you can't not have money. Luckily, spending money on education isn't the worst way to spend money and usually has a positive return over a lifetime based on the doors that the degree can open and the eventual money the degree can earn for you, plus the intangible value of friends made in college, experiences, social wisdom, gained, etc., but it's important not to just let parents handle paying for college (College is SUPER EXPENSIVE now, if you haven't been paying attention) and not even know how much one is paying. There's a value for everything in the world, especially college. 钱并不是万能的，没有钱是万万不能的 ...
2b.) Invest money! Every consumer education class says to invest money early, but it's really lost on kids who never had much money to invest. I never had much money in the bank account until after law school, so it never seemed necessary to put in the paltry cash from summer jobs. Do it anyway! Pay off debts first, then put money into a mutual fund, annuity, something. Even just going online and shifting funds from checking account to savings account, although savings account doesn't pay much interest.
3.) Do research about colleges. College/ any higher education is not the end all and be all. They're a business that's trying to keep their business going, and students have to look at it at least somewhat as an investment to get ahead in life. That's why certain majors (European art comes to mind) that don't have that practical an application might be good if that's your life passion, but not so good for being marketable for employers, which is what most people's goal for college is and SHOULD be. Going through college as a trust fund baby is one thing, but for most people you need a J-O-B after college, and you have to consider the most practical majors, and the people who get the most bang out of college do. (I'm talking sciences like biology, chemistry, engineering, computer science. Yes I know they're hard, but life is hard. And employers will be looking for these backgrounds later in your career, no matter what field- in law employers often look for people with hard science backgrounds, lot of patent cases). Accounting + finance, insurance, math- OK. It's a simple demand vs. supply concept- less people like to do the hard sciences and go through the grueling curriculum, meaning there's less supply of those people out there and more demand for their services.
4.) Learning a language is not just a cool thing you mention at parties, it really helps in all facets of life. In high school I would have NEVER thought I would learn languages as part of my work, I regarded high school French as just a fun period between history and chemistry. I look back now and wonder why I didn't take it more seriously. I'm biased because my job depends on learning language, but it's never a bad thing to have on a resume and allowed me to meet so many different people with different backgrounds. Don't get me started on why Mandarin is such a good language to have and why it's a gift that Chinese parents give to their kids. (It is SO hard for people of other languages, even sister languages Korean and Japanese, to learn Mandarin, I think if robots start universally translating languages Mandarin will be the last one to die because of its vast Kanji pictograph universe and different tones making it so difficult for a computer to even detect.)
5.) Don't get too caught up in entertainment, video games, sports, etc. They're fun distractions, and people do make money from them (the movie industry, Korean video game players), but the same concept of supply and demand apply: unless you're at the top of the heap, there's too many who want to enter that industry for the same reason that you like those things: they're fun and interesting for people. Try to focus more on articles about the world, economy, etc. Sports and games will always be there, but a young mind needs real life to sharpen its use. Quick aside: I know a guy from college, poker player who won some money playing in college, now he still does it but "is still looking for his big shot." Not the way (IMO) to spend your golden 20s, when you can learn so much and experience so many things.
6.) Never stop learning. Always be humble, you're never done learning. The worst thing about being 18 for me was thinking I was "the bomb," that I was at the top of my class at a surbuban Chicago high school and was going to dominate life with ease. That was a really bad attitude and I would have been better served thinking I was a nobody. College quickly exposed to me to people much smarter than I was, more ready for life, more focused on what they wanted to do, and more willing to learn and put in the work. I didn't realize until like the second or third year of college that I might fall behind, then even in law school I didn't realize until the end of first year that "not everyone who goes to law school gets a job and just makes it big." There are no guarantees in life, which is why we should always keep working and learning from others.
7.) Acne will eventually go away, but in the meantime, try to look your best. It took a long time, but I finally was able to brighten my self appearance. Finally, after I met MJ, did I really understand the importance of how other people perceive you, whether it's dating partners or company interviews. It's unfortunately a pretty shallow world, like the song "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup warned you. You gotta put on a show sometimes to fit into the cruel world.
8.) Hate to break it to little Robert, but Sears Tower (Willis Tower) is no longer the tallest building in the world. In fact, it's not even the 10th tallest building in the world. So many tall buildings were built in the last decade that Willis is now just 15th on the list, and at last check the Burj Khalifa in Dubai was the tallest building in the world. Just a metaphor that the world is always changing, and us people have to adapt or get left behind.
9.) Take as many photos as you can, man! Don't have to do those cool Youtube videos of taking a selfie every day for 10 years, but......Life only happens once, you never know when you might look back at a time and place and recall those times fondly. Even the most mundane times like being depressed in an office, those are memories! Enhance them.
10.) Write a blog! I would have told my 18 year old to start something just like this, and luckily 19-year-old Robert listened and put down most of his thoughts, even though it was juvenile ramblings about fantasy sports and reality TV at first, it really showed the evolution of one's thoughts and moods and is great to look back on ten years later. 40-year-old Robert's advice: probably maintain this blog and make it more about professional endeavors! Working on it!
Fantasize on in 2018,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Robert Yan
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Job (일)
"Job" in Korean is a very simple sound ("Il") that sounds just like the number "one" in Korean, and for many people the job is No. 1. It takes up the No. 1 most amount of time on weekdays, it is our No. 1 way of attaining income, it's our No. 1 source of stress when we do have a job, it's No. 1 source of stress when we DON'T have one.
1.) Try not to let it be a measure of one's self-worth or value. I made the mistake of succumbing to that, and it's natural: my parents so thoroughly emphasized the need to have a job, I thought it was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and when I didn't have one I felt like a loser. Society does that too, there's a stigma of being unemployed or "fun-employed." Don't get suckered in! Many people who do have a job are awful, many people who don't have a job are great, or they're not working for other reasons.
2.) I get very excited about sending out resumes for jobs or going to interviews as the ads seem so cool. Great opportunity! Apply now! Excellent work atmosphere! The grass is always greener on the other side, but then I actually go the interview or start working somewhere and realize, it's not my dream job. I'm stuck at my desk again. Until I make a drastic change in profession (suddenly they need actors who speak English and all 3 CJK languages!) that sitting-at-a-desk thing isn't going to change too much.
3.) There are truly a LOT of jobs out there in the world. That's not to discourage or encourage job seekers, but just an observation of how many people are out there in the working world. I don't get out of my little cubicle or social bubble much, but when I do find myself in new places during working hours (for interviews, visiting friends, other occasions) I realize how many offices there are in the world, how many buildings in cities are full of occupied floors and rooms with people working in them, how many people are working at the stores and restaurants (not just the servers in the front but the kitchen staff you don't even see!), construction sites, even our apartment building has full time staff working the front! And I haven't even counted all the people working remotely from home/ self-employed! I guess it makes sense, as many age 18-65 people there are in the world, there's gotta be enough jobs for almost all of them, society's way of keeping everybody busy.
4.) Still a lot of office jobs like you'd see from a set of The Office, despite all the modernization and technology. Travel agencies, phone companies, etc. that you could have seen from the 1980's. Hell, 4 billion people don't have internet access. So despite what I hear (and desperately dread) about computers taking over everyone's jobs, that still hasn't arrived, if only because society needs to keep people busy and positive contributors to society.
5.) I might have talked about this already, but it'd be really nice to space out shifts for going to work to space out rush hour, having some people arrive around 7AM and leave by 3PM, and some people come from 11AM and leave by 7PM. To some extent this already happens, but the 8 to 4 or 9 to 5 creates way too much of a bottleneck for traffic and even elevators going up floors. (I work at a 15-floor building with SIX elevators and it still takes a while for the elevator to come.) Maybe schools can do the same? The most wondrous time for commuters is during the holidays when schools are out and some people have gone on vacation, it's a world of difference in the commuting time and stress.
6.) I still get surprised sometimes by unique jobs that I didn't know you could get paid for. "That's actually a job?" is something I ask frequently, and sometimes when I scroll through Craigslist. This coming from someone who didn't really know how a Youtuber worked (btw, the most fashionable job that kids want to have when they grow up nowadays). I KNEW when Youtube first came out in 2006 and the lonelygirl15 videos become a sensation (but then was revealed as a hoax) that Youtube was going to be big and a creator of jobs!
7.) Not having a job can seem like the loneliest thing in the world, I know from experience (I once described it as being in a room full of people at first but then others gradually being called out for this awesome opportunity and slowly the room dwindling down to just you, and you're left behind). Well, after having been there I can say that actually getting a job isn't THAT great, I sometimes wonder at work whether I'd be better off back on the other side spending my precious life "living my life" than just pursuing the money, most people don't necessarily like their jobs (some lucky few like me kinda do, the ultimate goal for everyone is to do something that they love!). A job makes one emotional like that: it's like chocolate: you want it desperately when you don't have it, but once you have it you wonder how much more of it you can take.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
1.) Try not to let it be a measure of one's self-worth or value. I made the mistake of succumbing to that, and it's natural: my parents so thoroughly emphasized the need to have a job, I thought it was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and when I didn't have one I felt like a loser. Society does that too, there's a stigma of being unemployed or "fun-employed." Don't get suckered in! Many people who do have a job are awful, many people who don't have a job are great, or they're not working for other reasons.
2.) I get very excited about sending out resumes for jobs or going to interviews as the ads seem so cool. Great opportunity! Apply now! Excellent work atmosphere! The grass is always greener on the other side, but then I actually go the interview or start working somewhere and realize, it's not my dream job. I'm stuck at my desk again. Until I make a drastic change in profession (suddenly they need actors who speak English and all 3 CJK languages!) that sitting-at-a-desk thing isn't going to change too much.
3.) There are truly a LOT of jobs out there in the world. That's not to discourage or encourage job seekers, but just an observation of how many people are out there in the working world. I don't get out of my little cubicle or social bubble much, but when I do find myself in new places during working hours (for interviews, visiting friends, other occasions) I realize how many offices there are in the world, how many buildings in cities are full of occupied floors and rooms with people working in them, how many people are working at the stores and restaurants (not just the servers in the front but the kitchen staff you don't even see!), construction sites, even our apartment building has full time staff working the front! And I haven't even counted all the people working remotely from home/ self-employed! I guess it makes sense, as many age 18-65 people there are in the world, there's gotta be enough jobs for almost all of them, society's way of keeping everybody busy.
4.) Still a lot of office jobs like you'd see from a set of The Office, despite all the modernization and technology. Travel agencies, phone companies, etc. that you could have seen from the 1980's. Hell, 4 billion people don't have internet access. So despite what I hear (and desperately dread) about computers taking over everyone's jobs, that still hasn't arrived, if only because society needs to keep people busy and positive contributors to society.
5.) I might have talked about this already, but it'd be really nice to space out shifts for going to work to space out rush hour, having some people arrive around 7AM and leave by 3PM, and some people come from 11AM and leave by 7PM. To some extent this already happens, but the 8 to 4 or 9 to 5 creates way too much of a bottleneck for traffic and even elevators going up floors. (I work at a 15-floor building with SIX elevators and it still takes a while for the elevator to come.) Maybe schools can do the same? The most wondrous time for commuters is during the holidays when schools are out and some people have gone on vacation, it's a world of difference in the commuting time and stress.
6.) I still get surprised sometimes by unique jobs that I didn't know you could get paid for. "That's actually a job?" is something I ask frequently, and sometimes when I scroll through Craigslist. This coming from someone who didn't really know how a Youtuber worked (btw, the most fashionable job that kids want to have when they grow up nowadays). I KNEW when Youtube first came out in 2006 and the lonelygirl15 videos become a sensation (but then was revealed as a hoax) that Youtube was going to be big and a creator of jobs!
7.) Not having a job can seem like the loneliest thing in the world, I know from experience (I once described it as being in a room full of people at first but then others gradually being called out for this awesome opportunity and slowly the room dwindling down to just you, and you're left behind). Well, after having been there I can say that actually getting a job isn't THAT great, I sometimes wonder at work whether I'd be better off back on the other side spending my precious life "living my life" than just pursuing the money, most people don't necessarily like their jobs (some lucky few like me kinda do, the ultimate goal for everyone is to do something that they love!). A job makes one emotional like that: it's like chocolate: you want it desperately when you don't have it, but once you have it you wonder how much more of it you can take.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Christmas Eve (クリスマスイブ)
An important but often neglected tradition, the annual installation of Christmas lights, is definitely part of my childhood/ now adulthood. My parents either really loved the idea of Christmas after they came from China to the US, or they were doing it for me to raise me in an American-style household, or they got sucked into the consumer culture of Christmas, but Christmas was a pretty big deal in our household. I still remember the first time I got a Super Nintendo on Christmas when I was 7, I was absolutely convinced Santa Clause existed. The first year we moved into our own house in the suburbs, we started putting up Christmas lights. This is a BIG deal in the suburbs, as it's where families indoctrinate their children with the Christmas spirit but also light up the streets with Christmas decorations so their neighbors can also enjoy it. To this day I feel like Christmas decorations and weddings are almost equally for other people than the people in charge of them, they are positive externalities for society, no one's forcing people to put up Christmas decorations, people just want to share the holiday share, might be one of the more positive signs for humankind.
One of my favorite traditions on Christmas eve (other than having a HUGE dinner and possibly watching Elf or Home Alone for the umpteenth time) is to walk around at night to view everyone else's Christmas lights in the neighborhood. In middle-upper-middle class neighborhoods like my parents', the lights can be pretty impressive. A few neighbors take it up a notch, getting all their neighbors on the block to put up lights so that the whole block lights up at night like a Santa village. The decorations get better each year because everyone has the old decorations, plus they add the new innovations, like this year the hot new trend was a spotlight shining onto a screen to get an illumination feel, it's almost like Zoo Lights light show quality. Some households are on vacation or just don't have time to turn on their lights every night, but I think on Christmas Eve night EVERYONE does their darnedest to turn on the lights and keep'em on all night, so you get the maximum effect. If only Southern California ever got any snow, it would just make the whole effect even better.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
One of my favorite traditions on Christmas eve (other than having a HUGE dinner and possibly watching Elf or Home Alone for the umpteenth time) is to walk around at night to view everyone else's Christmas lights in the neighborhood. In middle-upper-middle class neighborhoods like my parents', the lights can be pretty impressive. A few neighbors take it up a notch, getting all their neighbors on the block to put up lights so that the whole block lights up at night like a Santa village. The decorations get better each year because everyone has the old decorations, plus they add the new innovations, like this year the hot new trend was a spotlight shining onto a screen to get an illumination feel, it's almost like Zoo Lights light show quality. Some households are on vacation or just don't have time to turn on their lights every night, but I think on Christmas Eve night EVERYONE does their darnedest to turn on the lights and keep'em on all night, so you get the maximum effect. If only Southern California ever got any snow, it would just make the whole effect even better.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Chinese poems (唐詩三百首)
My grandfather used to teach me math and Mandarin Chinese at home in a sort of home school supplemental curriculum, and to this day I think I learned some of my most important lessons from him, especially instilling in me a willingness to learn and be thirsty for knowledge. As I learn new languages now, I remember even back then I was curious about Chinese words and culture, asking questions and really getting into Chinese culture and Chinese history in particular, with different dynasties and ruling parties fighting over China through the centuries.
One of the more unique exercises I did with my grandpa was to learn famous Chinese poems by memorizing them, basically reciting them over and over again until it stuck. Nothing fancy. I'm not a big fan of poems and never was able to create any original works other than Roses are red, violets are blue, and Dr. Seuss was as far as I got to analyzing poems for their quality. The Chinese poems had a certain rhythm to them, some of them did rhyme but just the way that the words fit together in Chinese seem to create a different kind of intonation or music to them, or maybe it was just my younger self thinking it was cool.
Poems had different themes and tone depending on the poet, they varied from contemplating one's hometown will thinking during a silent night (by Li Bai, the most famous poem by the most famous poet in China) to reminiscing about a mother's love for her son, to warning people against wasting any food because the farmers in the fields have toiled many hours for just one grain of rice (I got that poem a LOT when I was a kid). The historical background of these poems is pretty cool, apparently one poem about a bean and a beanstalk both being in boiled in the same pot was created by a noble who was about to be executed by his brother, the king, out of jealousy and paranoia of people coming after his power, and the brother king summoned the poet brother to make a poem on the spot or be executed. The bean poem (we're all from the same beanstalk, why do you want to boil me so hastily?) really caught on with the king, who spared his brother's life, and historians, who loved the context.
My new favorite, though, after having revisited some of the poems with my grandpa this Christmas Eve, is the following:
生当作人杰，
死亦为鬼雄。
至今思项羽，
不肯过江东。
Basically a classic sentiment of heroes and romanticism of urging people to be great talents and aim to achieve great things, and even in death become a hero ghost. In the same breath it reminds people to think like a great ruler called Xiang Yu, who took his own life after a losing battle samurai-style to avoid the shame of going back to his people a loser, putting him on a pedestal like, look, die with honor and your name can go on for eternity. I think many of us want to do that, do something big and commit ourselves to the cause, even if our life depends on it, but in the me-me-me society nowadays nobody wants to commit their life to fighting a cause, because there's so much out there that we all want to experience and see, and we've been trained since birth to take care ourselves. Warriors like Xiang Yu didn't know anything else except being great warriors and fighting for their people, and other than that dedicated purpose they had nothing else. I love this poem because it brings me back to a simpler time and teaches us lessons from that time, and only in 20 kanji words! Beautiful in its simplicity.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
One of the more unique exercises I did with my grandpa was to learn famous Chinese poems by memorizing them, basically reciting them over and over again until it stuck. Nothing fancy. I'm not a big fan of poems and never was able to create any original works other than Roses are red, violets are blue, and Dr. Seuss was as far as I got to analyzing poems for their quality. The Chinese poems had a certain rhythm to them, some of them did rhyme but just the way that the words fit together in Chinese seem to create a different kind of intonation or music to them, or maybe it was just my younger self thinking it was cool.
Poems had different themes and tone depending on the poet, they varied from contemplating one's hometown will thinking during a silent night (by Li Bai, the most famous poem by the most famous poet in China) to reminiscing about a mother's love for her son, to warning people against wasting any food because the farmers in the fields have toiled many hours for just one grain of rice (I got that poem a LOT when I was a kid). The historical background of these poems is pretty cool, apparently one poem about a bean and a beanstalk both being in boiled in the same pot was created by a noble who was about to be executed by his brother, the king, out of jealousy and paranoia of people coming after his power, and the brother king summoned the poet brother to make a poem on the spot or be executed. The bean poem (we're all from the same beanstalk, why do you want to boil me so hastily?) really caught on with the king, who spared his brother's life, and historians, who loved the context.
My new favorite, though, after having revisited some of the poems with my grandpa this Christmas Eve, is the following:
生当作人杰，
死亦为鬼雄。
至今思项羽，
不肯过江东。
Basically a classic sentiment of heroes and romanticism of urging people to be great talents and aim to achieve great things, and even in death become a hero ghost. In the same breath it reminds people to think like a great ruler called Xiang Yu, who took his own life after a losing battle samurai-style to avoid the shame of going back to his people a loser, putting him on a pedestal like, look, die with honor and your name can go on for eternity. I think many of us want to do that, do something big and commit ourselves to the cause, even if our life depends on it, but in the me-me-me society nowadays nobody wants to commit their life to fighting a cause, because there's so much out there that we all want to experience and see, and we've been trained since birth to take care ourselves. Warriors like Xiang Yu didn't know anything else except being great warriors and fighting for their people, and other than that dedicated purpose they had nothing else. I love this poem because it brings me back to a simpler time and teaches us lessons from that time, and only in 20 kanji words! Beautiful in its simplicity.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Friday, December 22, 2017
Saving Money (金をためる)
"Yo Money ain't got owners; just spenders." - Omar Little, The Wire
A very existential quote from everyone's favorite character from NOT everyone's favorite show, but I must disagree: money belongs to people who don't necessarily have to spend it right away; there's something called "saving money" that's a delicate and perhaps lost art among millennials nowadays.
Everyone likes money; money doesn't discriminate, it doesn't raise a fuss, it doesn't burden you with 30-minute video before you can access it, money doesn't get clingy and have attachment anxiety to its previous owner, it willingly serves whoever its master is. So that's why people who are lucky enough to come into possession of money need to take care of it. Nowadays, the interest rate at ranks is REALLY low, so it's beneficial to put it in something like investments or bonds, or a CD, or a Lending Club account, SOMETHING so that the money doesn't just decrease in value due to inflation.
I'll admit, I'm all about saving money. Something inside me really stirs when I see money accumulate in a bank account. Some people like the look of brand new luxury imported cars, some people like trying every restaurant in the world to pick out the most exotic dishes out there, I personally just like the satisfaction of growing my bank account. Call me Uncle Scrooge or a money hoarder, but I've never had that much money or had access to that much money; each time I raise my bank account balance is a historical high for me, and I'd like to see how far I can extend the record (Actually probably not that great of an idea, once the bank account gets too high I should probably pull it from the bank's 0.00001% interest rate........
It's not easy to save money. It takes a careful calculation of how much income is coming in, how many fixed costs there are (mortgage/rent, insurance, bills, etc.) and then the big one, the discretionary income. It seems like every time I make a purchase, I have to weigh the pleasure of receiving the good or service I'm gonna get versus the pleasure I get from seeing my bank account increase. It's not an easy choice most of the time. There were definitely times I let loose with my wallet and said "yes" to almost everything, especially the end of my twenties when I felt it was the "end of an era," and definitely more times I said "no" after I turned 30 in an attempt to "start the decade off right" with wise purchases and thinking towards the future.
Saving, unfortunately, is not a sexy term thrown around at parties or among social circles. There's nothing "cool" about saving money. People who mention it are almost doing it apologetically, like there's something wrong with it and off putting in some way. I say go for it! People (including myself, I have a big problem with this actually) love looking cool by paying for the bill or "getting it" for other people or pretending like they don't have any restraints by spending a lot, especially at Vegas or some fancy establishment, it's like going for the one-night stand, for that one night being a baller will make you a hero with everyone but then abandon you the next day when you feel empty inside (and inside the wallet), but the saving philosophy will last with you for the rest of your life and keep you feeling fulfilled, spouse material. I am definitely the latter kind, and am happily married/ on the way to many savings!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
A very existential quote from everyone's favorite character from NOT everyone's favorite show, but I must disagree: money belongs to people who don't necessarily have to spend it right away; there's something called "saving money" that's a delicate and perhaps lost art among millennials nowadays.
Everyone likes money; money doesn't discriminate, it doesn't raise a fuss, it doesn't burden you with 30-minute video before you can access it, money doesn't get clingy and have attachment anxiety to its previous owner, it willingly serves whoever its master is. So that's why people who are lucky enough to come into possession of money need to take care of it. Nowadays, the interest rate at ranks is REALLY low, so it's beneficial to put it in something like investments or bonds, or a CD, or a Lending Club account, SOMETHING so that the money doesn't just decrease in value due to inflation.
I'll admit, I'm all about saving money. Something inside me really stirs when I see money accumulate in a bank account. Some people like the look of brand new luxury imported cars, some people like trying every restaurant in the world to pick out the most exotic dishes out there, I personally just like the satisfaction of growing my bank account. Call me Uncle Scrooge or a money hoarder, but I've never had that much money or had access to that much money; each time I raise my bank account balance is a historical high for me, and I'd like to see how far I can extend the record (Actually probably not that great of an idea, once the bank account gets too high I should probably pull it from the bank's 0.00001% interest rate........
It's not easy to save money. It takes a careful calculation of how much income is coming in, how many fixed costs there are (mortgage/rent, insurance, bills, etc.) and then the big one, the discretionary income. It seems like every time I make a purchase, I have to weigh the pleasure of receiving the good or service I'm gonna get versus the pleasure I get from seeing my bank account increase. It's not an easy choice most of the time. There were definitely times I let loose with my wallet and said "yes" to almost everything, especially the end of my twenties when I felt it was the "end of an era," and definitely more times I said "no" after I turned 30 in an attempt to "start the decade off right" with wise purchases and thinking towards the future.
Saving, unfortunately, is not a sexy term thrown around at parties or among social circles. There's nothing "cool" about saving money. People who mention it are almost doing it apologetically, like there's something wrong with it and off putting in some way. I say go for it! People (including myself, I have a big problem with this actually) love looking cool by paying for the bill or "getting it" for other people or pretending like they don't have any restraints by spending a lot, especially at Vegas or some fancy establishment, it's like going for the one-night stand, for that one night being a baller will make you a hero with everyone but then abandon you the next day when you feel empty inside (and inside the wallet), but the saving philosophy will last with you for the rest of your life and keep you feeling fulfilled, spouse material. I am definitely the latter kind, and am happily married/ on the way to many savings!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Travel Fatigue (旅行疲れ)
Dear Abby (old advice column in the newspaper famous for providing life advice),
my wife MJ and I have caught a case of the travel bug recently and don't know how to shake it! In 4 consecutive weekends (including a long Thanksgiving weekend) we've been all over the United States, from the golden gates of San Francisco, to the rainy harbors of Seattle, to the snowy urban streets of downtown Manhattan, to the neon lights of busy Las Vegas. We've used various methods of transportation to get to these places, literally trains, planes, and automobiles (subway system in New York included). We've had so much fun on these trips, but to be honest, we're tired! How do we harness this travel bug and avoid the negative symptoms of travel fatigue?
These trips have been short but effective: they're a whirlwind of activity. We've typically left after my work on Friday, we get excited about the trip while packing and researching all the places well go to, and by the time we're in the air (or in the car on the way) we're so excited! It's the life I always imagined, working hard during the week but being a "weekend warrior" and traveling far away during our free time, all weekend every weekend. The only regrets I have are losing some personal items along the way (headphones, gloves- those pesky gloves always seem to get lost, and they block our fingers from the source of life itself, our smartphones!) and not having enough time to experience EVERYTHING that a place has to offer. I guess the only solution is to go back there some other time!
Travel fatigue is very real, as each time after all the new stimulus we take in (and walking! So much walking around the cities!) we're dead tired by the time we get back Sunday night or even Monday morning (bleeding into work time!) and slump into my desk at work, it almost seems like a dream and I often have to remind myself that the weekend even happened. The pictures we take, though, are all undeniable: our experiences are very real, we can still feel the icy wind blowing into our faces as we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, we can still picture the colorful burnt glass at the Chihuly Garden in Seattle, taste the fresh caught oysters at a restaurant off the San Francisco embarcadero, breathe in the smoke in the Las Vegas casinos (it took a couple days to get all that smoke out of our lungs and wash it out of our clothes!) Luckily for me, my body recovers pretty quickly, and by Tuesday or Wednesday we're ready to embark on another adventure the following weekend!
We also learned a new travel hack in Los Angeles to get to the airport (at least until the new metro line is built connecting downtown LA to LAX): drive to Aviation Station on the Metro Green Line, park in the parking lot, ride their free shuttle to the airport, then go on your way! As long as you're a weekend warrior like us and the trip is less than 72 hours, you can park for free as long as there are spots! Your readers can thank us later!
You know what Abby, I don't think travel fatigue is all that bad! Thanks, I'm cured!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
my wife MJ and I have caught a case of the travel bug recently and don't know how to shake it! In 4 consecutive weekends (including a long Thanksgiving weekend) we've been all over the United States, from the golden gates of San Francisco, to the rainy harbors of Seattle, to the snowy urban streets of downtown Manhattan, to the neon lights of busy Las Vegas. We've used various methods of transportation to get to these places, literally trains, planes, and automobiles (subway system in New York included). We've had so much fun on these trips, but to be honest, we're tired! How do we harness this travel bug and avoid the negative symptoms of travel fatigue?
These trips have been short but effective: they're a whirlwind of activity. We've typically left after my work on Friday, we get excited about the trip while packing and researching all the places well go to, and by the time we're in the air (or in the car on the way) we're so excited! It's the life I always imagined, working hard during the week but being a "weekend warrior" and traveling far away during our free time, all weekend every weekend. The only regrets I have are losing some personal items along the way (headphones, gloves- those pesky gloves always seem to get lost, and they block our fingers from the source of life itself, our smartphones!) and not having enough time to experience EVERYTHING that a place has to offer. I guess the only solution is to go back there some other time!
Travel fatigue is very real, as each time after all the new stimulus we take in (and walking! So much walking around the cities!) we're dead tired by the time we get back Sunday night or even Monday morning (bleeding into work time!) and slump into my desk at work, it almost seems like a dream and I often have to remind myself that the weekend even happened. The pictures we take, though, are all undeniable: our experiences are very real, we can still feel the icy wind blowing into our faces as we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, we can still picture the colorful burnt glass at the Chihuly Garden in Seattle, taste the fresh caught oysters at a restaurant off the San Francisco embarcadero, breathe in the smoke in the Las Vegas casinos (it took a couple days to get all that smoke out of our lungs and wash it out of our clothes!) Luckily for me, my body recovers pretty quickly, and by Tuesday or Wednesday we're ready to embark on another adventure the following weekend!
We also learned a new travel hack in Los Angeles to get to the airport (at least until the new metro line is built connecting downtown LA to LAX): drive to Aviation Station on the Metro Green Line, park in the parking lot, ride their free shuttle to the airport, then go on your way! As long as you're a weekend warrior like us and the trip is less than 72 hours, you can park for free as long as there are spots! Your readers can thank us later!
You know what Abby, I don't think travel fatigue is all that bad! Thanks, I'm cured!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Speculating on Stocks (山を張る)
Recently a lot's going on in the financial industry, including the epic rise of Bitcoin, a cryptocurrency that's making everyone kick themselves over why they didn't buy some earlier. It's the finance equivalent of making people go "on tilt," where they secondguess their decision not to invest earlier on investments and abuse their regret by investing hastily on unwise investments.
To tell the truth, I've kicked myself a lot on investments as well, including so many regrets about not buying certain stocks earlier. Back in 2011, when I was advocating for buying certain stocks, like "BUY Chipotle, BUY Amzn," etc., etc., turns out the correct advice was simply to BUY ALL STOCKS!!!! as the stock market has been on an epic run since 2009 (including 2011), with certain individual stocks multiplying their value by 3 times, 5 times, 7 times. (like Amazon). It's so frustrating to think how much I could have made (ぼろ儲け) if I had a lot of money back then, and doubly frustrating that I DO have money now, but all the stocks have inflated to the level that it's possible they've peaked and there are bubble conditions in the economy, including in the housing market, and it's not as easy as it would have been in 2009/2010 at the very bottom of the market (Even the Dow Jones itself went from 6000+ to 24,000, quadrupling its value!) to go out and invest in something When we
I often have to restrain myself from regret with the other side of my brain going, "Robert, all stocks are speculation. There's no 100% guarantee of anything, you're guessing that the price of a stock will go up based on what other investors' expectations of the stock will be." They're guesses. It's like going to the blackjack table and guessing that the dealer has a 10 hidden under his 6, you're making a bet on how you think some event will turn out. Except stocks have more information underlying them that give more information to inform the speculation (and sometimes, insider trading to really help inform the decision). Buying a house (other than for the purpose of living it) is also speculation: hoping the house will rise in value or that you can rent it out at a better value. Especially in LA and major cities in LA, buying a house means speculating that there WON'T be a major correction in the housing market in the near future, where all evidence and history indicates that these things work in cycles and eventually there WILL be a correction where housing values will go down all of a sudden like in 2008. So now where am I supposed to put my investment? (Even though interest rates are still low at under 4%). Savings accounts are too low, I don't want to put all money into a CD locked up for 2 years, what to do, what to do?
I've often wondered what it would be like to make a living speculating on stocks or sports games, making bets. People do do it for a living, that's how some people roll, they make their money work for them and just live off the profit. It seems like such a thrilling prospect to support oneself by essentially winning a game, and the winning times would surely be sweet, but then I remind myself how terrible a feeling it would be to lose, where you throw way your hard earned money on simple speculating and helplessly watch as your savings go down the drain. I feel bad sometimes that I didn't invest all my money in something sometimes (after it goes up), but it would be doubly painful if I DID invest the money and lost it all. It's a terrifying feeling, being in charge of all that money that is essentially one's lifeblood. MJ can't even handle the thought of potentially losing $100, even if it means there's a chance to gain $100. "Why don't we just use the $100 to buy a really nice sweater?" I guess there's something to be said for that.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
To tell the truth, I've kicked myself a lot on investments as well, including so many regrets about not buying certain stocks earlier. Back in 2011, when I was advocating for buying certain stocks, like "BUY Chipotle, BUY Amzn," etc., etc., turns out the correct advice was simply to BUY ALL STOCKS!!!! as the stock market has been on an epic run since 2009 (including 2011), with certain individual stocks multiplying their value by 3 times, 5 times, 7 times. (like Amazon). It's so frustrating to think how much I could have made (ぼろ儲け) if I had a lot of money back then, and doubly frustrating that I DO have money now, but all the stocks have inflated to the level that it's possible they've peaked and there are bubble conditions in the economy, including in the housing market, and it's not as easy as it would have been in 2009/2010 at the very bottom of the market (Even the Dow Jones itself went from 6000+ to 24,000, quadrupling its value!) to go out and invest in something When we
I often have to restrain myself from regret with the other side of my brain going, "Robert, all stocks are speculation. There's no 100% guarantee of anything, you're guessing that the price of a stock will go up based on what other investors' expectations of the stock will be." They're guesses. It's like going to the blackjack table and guessing that the dealer has a 10 hidden under his 6, you're making a bet on how you think some event will turn out. Except stocks have more information underlying them that give more information to inform the speculation (and sometimes, insider trading to really help inform the decision). Buying a house (other than for the purpose of living it) is also speculation: hoping the house will rise in value or that you can rent it out at a better value. Especially in LA and major cities in LA, buying a house means speculating that there WON'T be a major correction in the housing market in the near future, where all evidence and history indicates that these things work in cycles and eventually there WILL be a correction where housing values will go down all of a sudden like in 2008. So now where am I supposed to put my investment? (Even though interest rates are still low at under 4%). Savings accounts are too low, I don't want to put all money into a CD locked up for 2 years, what to do, what to do?
I've often wondered what it would be like to make a living speculating on stocks or sports games, making bets. People do do it for a living, that's how some people roll, they make their money work for them and just live off the profit. It seems like such a thrilling prospect to support oneself by essentially winning a game, and the winning times would surely be sweet, but then I remind myself how terrible a feeling it would be to lose, where you throw way your hard earned money on simple speculating and helplessly watch as your savings go down the drain. I feel bad sometimes that I didn't invest all my money in something sometimes (after it goes up), but it would be doubly painful if I DID invest the money and lost it all. It's a terrifying feeling, being in charge of all that money that is essentially one's lifeblood. MJ can't even handle the thought of potentially losing $100, even if it means there's a chance to gain $100. "Why don't we just use the $100 to buy a really nice sweater?" I guess there's something to be said for that.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
記念写真 (Commemorative Photos)
I've never placed too much importance on photos. I've never been that photogenic. I often dreaded photo days at school every year because I wore really geeky glasses, or had a pimple, or had some other physical defect. Photos are also when I realize how awkward I look sometimes, or how crooked my smile is, Imagine my horror when I realized online dating was all about the photos of oneself, and those would be the ones prospective dates would scroll through and base 90% of their judgment of a prospective date on.
When I was in high school and college, I didn't take that many pictures of myself in daily life, so I lost a large section of that time, I can only recall them through memories. Luckily with the onset of smartphones and high definition cameras attached to those smartphones (unluckily for Kodak and most other camera companies) it got much easier to commemorate my life, and at the same time I developed an appreciation for documenting one's life through pictures, looking back at them from time to time during a dull time at work or stuck without internet connection. It's not that impressive seeing a photo from a few days ago cuz it JUST HAPPENED, I still remember most of the details, but it's a huge memory boost looking back at a picture more than a few years old, looking at how I looked back then, which dodgeball teams I was on, what co-workers I worked with, etc. Especially since I'm forgetful about stuff that happens as trivial details wash away quickly after a long night's sleep, it's a great reminder of good times/ how I felt during those times.
Which is why I've made it a habit nowadays to give out commemorative souvenir photos to my colleagues after each work project, it's really the only time that specific group of people work on one specific project; after it's done it's over, unlike family photos. It's really a good tradition because for that year or other defined period of working together I spend more time with those people than anyone else (except maybe MJ nowadays), not even my parents, or my closest friends. Japanese call this concept 一期一会, one time, one meeting, or treasuring the time you have with people. I can't think of any other way.
MJ and I LOVED looking at our wedding photos. The wedding goes so fast, it's hard to process what happened before it's over and guests have gone home. But the photos allow us to live the day over and over again in our minds. In high definition! And everyone is smiling most of the time! some of the best photos n my life. A lot of the times I notice in dodgeball the video of the games tell so much of what happened that I didn't see live, and same is true of our wedding. So many details I missed at the time because I was so absorbed in all the events going on and what happens next, the photos are like a time machine to go back to soak it in, enjoy it all. Like the time after vacations, when I'm at my desk at the office with some break time, I can live those vacations over and over again in my mind without being there.
I fully cherish pictures now. They're like time machines!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
When I was in high school and college, I didn't take that many pictures of myself in daily life, so I lost a large section of that time, I can only recall them through memories. Luckily with the onset of smartphones and high definition cameras attached to those smartphones (unluckily for Kodak and most other camera companies) it got much easier to commemorate my life, and at the same time I developed an appreciation for documenting one's life through pictures, looking back at them from time to time during a dull time at work or stuck without internet connection. It's not that impressive seeing a photo from a few days ago cuz it JUST HAPPENED, I still remember most of the details, but it's a huge memory boost looking back at a picture more than a few years old, looking at how I looked back then, which dodgeball teams I was on, what co-workers I worked with, etc. Especially since I'm forgetful about stuff that happens as trivial details wash away quickly after a long night's sleep, it's a great reminder of good times/ how I felt during those times.
Which is why I've made it a habit nowadays to give out commemorative souvenir photos to my colleagues after each work project, it's really the only time that specific group of people work on one specific project; after it's done it's over, unlike family photos. It's really a good tradition because for that year or other defined period of working together I spend more time with those people than anyone else (except maybe MJ nowadays), not even my parents, or my closest friends. Japanese call this concept 一期一会, one time, one meeting, or treasuring the time you have with people. I can't think of any other way.
MJ and I LOVED looking at our wedding photos. The wedding goes so fast, it's hard to process what happened before it's over and guests have gone home. But the photos allow us to live the day over and over again in our minds. In high definition! And everyone is smiling most of the time! some of the best photos n my life. A lot of the times I notice in dodgeball the video of the games tell so much of what happened that I didn't see live, and same is true of our wedding. So many details I missed at the time because I was so absorbed in all the events going on and what happens next, the photos are like a time machine to go back to soak it in, enjoy it all. Like the time after vacations, when I'm at my desk at the office with some break time, I can live those vacations over and over again in my mind without being there.
I fully cherish pictures now. They're like time machines!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Neighbor (이웃)
Neighbors (Iut in Korean)- Ned Flanders. Cosmo Kramer. Wilson (Home Improvement). I grew up in a culture where neighbors were a supremely important part of the the culture and one's everyday life. Almost every episode of The Simpsons, Seinfeld, and Home Improvement, the neighbor would make an appearance and in many cases play a large part in the plot development, whether it was offering friendly advice, being a morale boost, or partaking in the general shenanigans that were going on in the apartment.That was reflective of the real lives of everyday Americans, myself included growing up in suburban Chicago. My parents and I knew all the neighbors in every direction, what time they watered their lawns, if we could borrow a wrench or other tool, if they went to church or not, what nationality they were. Part of that was because it was a kid-friendly neighborhood and most of the neighbors had kids who we befriended, but that was part of the culture: kids played with other kids in the neighborhood. I remember vividly when I was a kid which house I knew to avoid when we were playing baseball (not to hit it in their yard), which cars when driving by belonged to whom, which doors to knock on if we went trick-or-treating or to round up kids to play a game outside. All that information wasn't available on the internet, and not even via the phone. You just knew from knowing the neighborhood and your neighbors. (This whole rant coincidentally is brought on by Bryan Cranston on the Bill Simmons podcast lamenting with him about how kids nowadays ask to get driven to playdates 20 minutes away and how at 16 every kid he knew wanted to get his driver's license. Ah the good old days- not as old as Bryan Cranston, but still)
I think America and society as a whole is missing that level of neighborly love. I live in an apartment complex in downtown Los Angeles now and we know zero people on our floor, know none of our neighbors, and don't acknowledge neighbors when they're obviously entering the apartment. It's as much my fault as the neighbors' fault, but I suspect it's reflective of the trend throughout America and the world, Iphones and the internet are taking up all our attention, the cyber world feels closer than the physical world, someone connecting via the cloud feels much closer than someone connecting 5 feet away. (It's also possible that living in Los Angeles, a West Coast city known for little patience and search for instant stardom, is partially the cause v. living in a suburban, family-values type of neighborhood).
We don't talk to people on the bus, or train, or in the elevator when we're the only 2 people in the elevator for example. Everyone's always on their headphones, looking at their phones, or it's just awkward silence. The neighbor problem spreads (like wildfire, coincidentally like the current status of LA) to general interaction with every person you encounter, you don't want to risk looking too desperate, too much like a stalker, like a creep, like you're drunk and want to have a conversation, or like you're trying to sell someone something). Often it's just that people know that if you talk to a stranger, after the conversation is over, he or she will become a total stranger again and the conversation would have been pointless. That's the most dangerous thing of all: having no incentive to talk to people, losing human interaction. It is, unfortuantely, the world we live in.
I think America and society as a whole is missing that level of neighborly love. I live in an apartment complex in downtown Los Angeles now and we know zero people on our floor, know none of our neighbors, and don't acknowledge neighbors when they're obviously entering the apartment. It's as much my fault as the neighbors' fault, but I suspect it's reflective of the trend throughout America and the world, Iphones and the internet are taking up all our attention, the cyber world feels closer than the physical world, someone connecting via the cloud feels much closer than someone connecting 5 feet away. (It's also possible that living in Los Angeles, a West Coast city known for little patience and search for instant stardom, is partially the cause v. living in a suburban, family-values type of neighborhood).
We don't talk to people on the bus, or train, or in the elevator when we're the only 2 people in the elevator for example. Everyone's always on their headphones, looking at their phones, or it's just awkward silence. The neighbor problem spreads (like wildfire, coincidentally like the current status of LA) to general interaction with every person you encounter, you don't want to risk looking too desperate, too much like a stalker, like a creep, like you're drunk and want to have a conversation, or like you're trying to sell someone something). Often it's just that people know that if you talk to a stranger, after the conversation is over, he or she will become a total stranger again and the conversation would have been pointless. That's the most dangerous thing of all: having no incentive to talk to people, losing human interaction. It is, unfortuantely, the world we live in.
Fire Disaster in LA (火災)
L.A. is a city of paradise, with tons of great natural beauty from the ocean to beautiful beaches to the mountains, but on the flip side of that it is also home to lots of potential natural disasters, including earthquakes, mud slides, drought conditions, and the one that hits really close to home (and for some people, unfortunately, literally hit their home), wildfires. It started innocently Tuesday morning when I saw on facebook (bad habit of mine, to check facebook early in the morning while my mind is fresh) when someone checked in as safe due to the St. Thomas Fire as a late night fire had spread through the city of Ventura. , I checked instinctively to make sure my parents' home in Camarillo was OK (I was, we got lucky), then almost as quickly dismissed it as just another fire, but then those concerns get reignited later that morning when there were reports of another fire near the 118, then early this morning (Wednesday) there was footage of fires burning near the Getty Center and making the I-405 seem like barbecue pit, that's when it really hit home. Fires are apparently especially dangerous this time due to the strong Santa Ana winds and have shut down even major highways, making it very scary for humans, but especially deadly for homes. Gotta imagine the houses, if they could speak, would be lamenting that the humans and animals get to just get up and run out but the houses themselves are sitting ducks for the spreading fire.
Lots of lessons to be learned from this round of fire disasters, the big one being: 1.) Check for fire insurance when buying a home (as well as earthquake insurance, other natural disaster insurance), but also 2.) fires are no joke. People are losing their homes and everything they ever owned, and it could have been my home or my parents' home that got caught in the damage, or me that woke up to our neighborhood being burned down and having to quickly grab everything and take video while we hurriedly rushed out to escape the disaster.
Stats: 96 square miles!
More than 50,000 Ventura County residents were evacuated from 15,000 homes.
But what really stuck out was the Getty Center indicating that it was keeping its priceless art in the museum despite the fires, indicating that the fires had spread close to its walls. It really looks like a scene straight out of an end-of-world armageddon movie where chaos reigns in city centers and everything we thought was safe is torn apart.
I've lived through a lot of natural disasters of various varieties growing in Chicago (blizzards, excessive heat, tornados, flash floods, etc.) but never really got caught in anything serious, in fact I've only benefited from them through school closings like snow days, where everyone gets excited about having a special day and it seems more like a holiday, but as an adult these disasters seem much more ominous and capable of causing massive damage, and it's humbling knowing one cannot control their own fate, that these things can happen without warning and that we're right in the way of these natural disasters.
At least SoCal doesn't have tsunamis.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Lots of lessons to be learned from this round of fire disasters, the big one being: 1.) Check for fire insurance when buying a home (as well as earthquake insurance, other natural disaster insurance), but also 2.) fires are no joke. People are losing their homes and everything they ever owned, and it could have been my home or my parents' home that got caught in the damage, or me that woke up to our neighborhood being burned down and having to quickly grab everything and take video while we hurriedly rushed out to escape the disaster.
Stats: 96 square miles!
More than 50,000 Ventura County residents were evacuated from 15,000 homes.
But what really stuck out was the Getty Center indicating that it was keeping its priceless art in the museum despite the fires, indicating that the fires had spread close to its walls. It really looks like a scene straight out of an end-of-world armageddon movie where chaos reigns in city centers and everything we thought was safe is torn apart.
I've lived through a lot of natural disasters of various varieties growing in Chicago (blizzards, excessive heat, tornados, flash floods, etc.) but never really got caught in anything serious, in fact I've only benefited from them through school closings like snow days, where everyone gets excited about having a special day and it seems more like a holiday, but as an adult these disasters seem much more ominous and capable of causing massive damage, and it's humbling knowing one cannot control their own fate, that these things can happen without warning and that we're right in the way of these natural disasters.
At least SoCal doesn't have tsunamis.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Friday, December 1, 2017
Around the World Trip (世界一週)
My law school friend recently returned from a year-long around-the-world trip with his wife that left me very envious of his life. He did what most people romanticize about but don't succeed in actually executing: the dream trip of a lifetime, going from one country to the next, experiencing different cultures, getting new stimuli each day to fill in the memory banks, different types of lodging, different types of transportation, different types of food, letting go of all the stress and worldly restraints and just be free. It's why I and many other people watch the Amazing Race (back on air in January for its 30th! That's right 30th! season), to live vicariously through their globetrotting adventures. It's excellent timing: he has a traveling partner, they don't have any kids yet to tie them down, they have the financial resources to do it, and they're still young and with lots of energy.
As one gets older, you realize that certain things that you thought as a kid or teenager that you would one day do will just never materialize. I never explicitly planned to have a year-long trip, but there's always a fantasy in the back of one's mind to just pick up and go wherever you want to go. For MJ and I, we concluded that it would not be ideal for us to go on an around-the-world trip.
1.) Hotel costs would be way too high
2.) Opportunity cost is too high- I'd be missing out on a year's worth of wages (unless I can get some sort of job where I can work remotely from my computer, but that would be dampening the spirit of the trip anyway)
3.) We might get too tired after 2 weeks and need to take a break. Stamina is key: if anyone's ever taken a 2 week trip and then come back home to work, it feels like that first day back that you need a vacation from your vacation.
4.) Nowadays you don't need to go to EVERY corner of the world to experience it......there's videos and live feeds that make people feel like they can be where they are......it's like why go to a live sports game when you can get better camera angles, better high definition, different shots, at home? Sure there's the real experience of it and the smell and the sounds and feeling of gratification of reaching one's destination that's not accounted for, but travel might be yet another victim of technology and the internet boom.
It really comes down to a battle of time vs. money, and partly due to the fact time= money. Can we do all the things we want to do in life (and thought we'd eventually get to when we were younger) without running out of time AND money? (and energy?) It's a tough balance.
Often I regret decisions in life and look back on why I didn't go to a different law school that had a better scholarship offer, or didn't join a sports team, whatever it is. Not going on a world wide trip during college or law school often comes up in my list of regrets. I blame my younger self, but looking back at my 2007 and 2008 comments, who can blame that kid for being stressed out about jobs, getting ahead in life, trying to outdo the competition, etc.? Heck, that kid didn't know what he was going to be doing 10 years later, he was really busy checking on fantasy sports all the time and watching reality TV! The point is I can't really fault my past decision making, only learn from them and make better decisions going forward, and perhaps ditching the rat race and doing something daring and incredible like an around-the-worldtrip (but possibly stupid in hindsight if we run out of money in the future) is the right move before we get even older and 10 years later and look back on my decision making now and blame myself again.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
As one gets older, you realize that certain things that you thought as a kid or teenager that you would one day do will just never materialize. I never explicitly planned to have a year-long trip, but there's always a fantasy in the back of one's mind to just pick up and go wherever you want to go. For MJ and I, we concluded that it would not be ideal for us to go on an around-the-world trip.
1.) Hotel costs would be way too high
2.) Opportunity cost is too high- I'd be missing out on a year's worth of wages (unless I can get some sort of job where I can work remotely from my computer, but that would be dampening the spirit of the trip anyway)
3.) We might get too tired after 2 weeks and need to take a break. Stamina is key: if anyone's ever taken a 2 week trip and then come back home to work, it feels like that first day back that you need a vacation from your vacation.
4.) Nowadays you don't need to go to EVERY corner of the world to experience it......there's videos and live feeds that make people feel like they can be where they are......it's like why go to a live sports game when you can get better camera angles, better high definition, different shots, at home? Sure there's the real experience of it and the smell and the sounds and feeling of gratification of reaching one's destination that's not accounted for, but travel might be yet another victim of technology and the internet boom.
It really comes down to a battle of time vs. money, and partly due to the fact time= money. Can we do all the things we want to do in life (and thought we'd eventually get to when we were younger) without running out of time AND money? (and energy?) It's a tough balance.
Often I regret decisions in life and look back on why I didn't go to a different law school that had a better scholarship offer, or didn't join a sports team, whatever it is. Not going on a world wide trip during college or law school often comes up in my list of regrets. I blame my younger self, but looking back at my 2007 and 2008 comments, who can blame that kid for being stressed out about jobs, getting ahead in life, trying to outdo the competition, etc.? Heck, that kid didn't know what he was going to be doing 10 years later, he was really busy checking on fantasy sports all the time and watching reality TV! The point is I can't really fault my past decision making, only learn from them and make better decisions going forward, and perhaps ditching the rat race and doing something daring and incredible like an around-the-worldtrip (but possibly stupid in hindsight if we run out of money in the future) is the right move before we get even older and 10 years later and look back on my decision making now and blame myself again.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Night View (夜景 [やけい))
I'm not the biggest fan of nighttime. I hated walking home in the dark as a kid because I was scared of evil monsters popping out, and as an adult nighttime is like the big, bad wolf that creeps up every day to take all the sunny views away, especially in the winter when it gets dark at 4:30PM.
What the dark does do, however, is to give 2 views of the same landmark/ tourist attraction: the day view and the night view.
San Francisco has some great views that I didn't know about. Especially because it's such a hilly city with so many dips, peaks, and valleys, every street can give way to going up a massive hill for a view of the city. The best view MJ and I got this trip, however, was from Twin Peaks overlooking the entire city (can see both the Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate Bridge, and everything in between) and the vista point right off the Golden Gate Bridge. Has anyone marveled before at how awesome the Golden Gate Bridge is night. Sure the orange hue stands out even in the day, but at night it's doubly impressive, almost flashing in the dark as a beacon of San Francisco's skyline. (Unfortunately also a beacon for some poor souls planning to commit suicide).
The Palace of Fine Arts is just another cool-looking thing to pass over on the way over the Golden Gate Bridge most times, and I've literally ran by it before without giving it much thought, but at night it's absolutely dazzling. From inside it looks like a magical palace from the iconic scene in Aladdin where the prince whisks Jasmine away to show her a whole new world (Remember that scene?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeDYx7Tkc7I) From outside it looks even more Disney-esque, with the surrounding pond making it look like a setup for a show of "Fantasmic" at Walt Disneyland.
Not to compare cities and be jealous, but L.A. just doesn't measure up in terms of night attractions, IMO. Lala Land plays up the Hermosa Beach Pier and Griffith Observatory as popular destinations to go for Yakei, but that's about it......the ocean is not nearly as majestic or visible at night. Hollywood Bowl is closed, Getty Center is closed.....no wonder everyone just heads to the bars and the Hollywood scene after dark, there's no natural scenery.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
What the dark does do, however, is to give 2 views of the same landmark/ tourist attraction: the day view and the night view.
San Francisco has some great views that I didn't know about. Especially because it's such a hilly city with so many dips, peaks, and valleys, every street can give way to going up a massive hill for a view of the city. The best view MJ and I got this trip, however, was from Twin Peaks overlooking the entire city (can see both the Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate Bridge, and everything in between) and the vista point right off the Golden Gate Bridge. Has anyone marveled before at how awesome the Golden Gate Bridge is night. Sure the orange hue stands out even in the day, but at night it's doubly impressive, almost flashing in the dark as a beacon of San Francisco's skyline. (Unfortunately also a beacon for some poor souls planning to commit suicide).
The Palace of Fine Arts is just another cool-looking thing to pass over on the way over the Golden Gate Bridge most times, and I've literally ran by it before without giving it much thought, but at night it's absolutely dazzling. From inside it looks like a magical palace from the iconic scene in Aladdin where the prince whisks Jasmine away to show her a whole new world (Remember that scene?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeDYx7Tkc7I) From outside it looks even more Disney-esque, with the surrounding pond making it look like a setup for a show of "Fantasmic" at Walt Disneyland.
Not to compare cities and be jealous, but L.A. just doesn't measure up in terms of night attractions, IMO. Lala Land plays up the Hermosa Beach Pier and Griffith Observatory as popular destinations to go for Yakei, but that's about it......the ocean is not nearly as majestic or visible at night. Hollywood Bowl is closed, Getty Center is closed.....no wonder everyone just heads to the bars and the Hollywood scene after dark, there's no natural scenery.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, November 27, 2017
Peaceful (長閑 [のどか (nodoka)
I'm a "Hustle" kind of guy: if I was on the latest season of Survivor: Healers v hustlers v heroes, I'd be a hustler. I live a hustle and bustle kind of live by trying to squeeze every minute out of life and not waste any seconds of the day, to the point of upsetting people around me because I expect the same thing from them. One of the weaknesses of my approach is that i never seem satisfied with the current state, have to always be learning, working out, have to always find a different lane than the current one to get somewhere faster.
Which is why sometimes it's nice to see the exact opposite, peaceful people, animals, and things, basically all sorts of living beings being calm and at peace with their lives and showing that off to the world.
Mj and I have a friend who hosts parties and invites a couple with a baby boy, I'm not even sure of the child's name but he is the epitome of "peaceful," the way he sits and stares at his parents and other guests or eats his food docilely, he just seems so content with life and being in this world with us. His presence along allows MJ and I to be more at peace (it's the contagious effect of being at peace)
Walking dogs might seem like the opposite of peacefulness, but some dogs are able to strut around after doing their business and just take a stroll around the neighborhood. Mj and I were allowed the privilege of walking an elderly dog around the neighborhood and she just kept at a leisurely pace, not once requiring us to pull back in the leash, just sniffing and walking like she was meant to do in this world. No barking or violent activities, just slow movements. A very peaceful dog, which was emphasized by her lying down later on to take a nap. Most living things all look peaceful when sleeping, but sometimes a dog's sleeping posture makes me giggle and want to pet them.
Holidays, especially winter holidays where the weather slows things down and prohibits many activities, is a great chance for peaceful times. Sitting at home reading a book, taking a peaceful hike through the woods with spectacular views, these are all elements of a peaceful life, and something to be thankful for.
Happy thanksgiving! May peace be with you!
Which is why sometimes it's nice to see the exact opposite, peaceful people, animals, and things, basically all sorts of living beings being calm and at peace with their lives and showing that off to the world.
Mj and I have a friend who hosts parties and invites a couple with a baby boy, I'm not even sure of the child's name but he is the epitome of "peaceful," the way he sits and stares at his parents and other guests or eats his food docilely, he just seems so content with life and being in this world with us. His presence along allows MJ and I to be more at peace (it's the contagious effect of being at peace)
Walking dogs might seem like the opposite of peacefulness, but some dogs are able to strut around after doing their business and just take a stroll around the neighborhood. Mj and I were allowed the privilege of walking an elderly dog around the neighborhood and she just kept at a leisurely pace, not once requiring us to pull back in the leash, just sniffing and walking like she was meant to do in this world. No barking or violent activities, just slow movements. A very peaceful dog, which was emphasized by her lying down later on to take a nap. Most living things all look peaceful when sleeping, but sometimes a dog's sleeping posture makes me giggle and want to pet them.
Holidays, especially winter holidays where the weather slows things down and prohibits many activities, is a great chance for peaceful times. Sitting at home reading a book, taking a peaceful hike through the woods with spectacular views, these are all elements of a peaceful life, and something to be thankful for.
Happy thanksgiving! May peace be with you!
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Badgers in the same hole (同じ穴の狢)
One of my favorite Japanese proverbs is "Onaji ana no mujina," or badgers in the same hole. Badgers are a notoriously deceptive animal in Japanese lore, and usually associated with performing bad deeds or even criminal behavior, so it's usually a negative nuance attached to it like "thick as thieves," differentiating it from the pretty neutral "birds of a feather flock together."
I recently got a jaywalking ticket in downtown Los Angeles (of all things, jaywalking!) for starting to walk into a crosswalk while the light was flashing red and not the white "walk" sign. A very arcane and rarely enforced rule, I was so surprised and bewildered when the police officer stopped me and asked for my driver's license. There are so many people in L.A. who begin crossing on the red flashing sign like I did, yet I was unlucky (and oblivious enough) to get caught by what was essentially a jaywalking sting operation (the officer was there to hand out jaywalking tickets and caught 3 more people on the sidewalk in the time I took to even sort out the confusion).
The fine was just under $200 (!) I decided to fight the ticket, which led me to Metropolitan courthouse (conveniently located near my home) and arrived at the scheduled court time........only to find about 70 people waiting for the same courthouse to open, all with varying traffic violations that they wished to fight (or plead guilty to and pay the fine and just get the hell out of there). I felt as close to going into jail that I ever hope to be, ushered like cattle into a small room functioning as a courthouse with other people who had committed traffic violations, forced by the police officer running the proceedings to sit in a row of chairs so tight it was impossible to move without touching one's neighbor. It really felt like we were snuggled up like badgers in the same hole, caught with nowhere to go.
After an hour of sitting waiting for everyone else's cases to be processed, the arraignment judge finally got out of his chambers, like the Man Behind the Curtain in the Wizard of Oz. What followed was a 40 hour blitz of why those of us in the courtroom were inferior species to him and deserved to suffer. Phones were not allowed. Reading material was not allowed, the judge wanted everyone's full attention on him at all times. The judge in a full hour of talking never smiled once, never changed expression really, and never stuttered or used any "um's or ah's...." really pretty impressive, like a drill sargeant barking out orders. (He actually used the words "do an about face" during his speech). The judge made us feel like we had made the worst decisions of our lives, that we couldn't worm our way out of the horrible crimes that we committed, only by changing our behavior on the road would we ever be absolved of our crimes. "You are here to prevent you from ending up in the HOSPITAL OR THE MORGUE!" Fire and Fury! (from Game of Thrones and Donald Trump) was all I could think of in my head. Really, some of these people were guilty of having forgotten their driver's license at home, or not having a taillight fixed, and in my case being 3 seconds late walking into a crosswalk, yet here we were all listening for 40 minutes about how we MUST pay the fine for our miserable deeds because the courts could attach a lien to a judgment against us. (I mean, some people had a $35 fine, I think they'll be able to pay.....?)
I think personally that the whole episode was meant to scare us common folk into pleading guilty and just paying the fine. The judge was clearly pro-law enforcement indicating that we had no excuses and law enforcement must have had a good reason to stop us and pull us over, and honestly if I knew my trial would be in front of this judge I would have pleaded guilty then and there. Luckily this was just the arraignment and I was just scheduling my case to another time, but unluckily it took four hours just to say "plead not guilty." Something about the court system is really screwed up and distorted, really, when a 3 second mishap about an arcane rule can lead to 4 hours of just sitting around listening to a ranting judge literally judging us for our behavior, and that's just the arraignment stage! Anyone would crack and just pay the fine, but the fine is hundreds of dollars! Just totally encouraging a donation to law enforcement and the government. There's something wrong about that for the common person. It's just so hard to be a common person, trying to go about your day and then getting hit with a fine or violation that you need to fight in court that takes hours to go through the processing. we may be badgers from the same hole but even badgers deserve fair treatment.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I recently got a jaywalking ticket in downtown Los Angeles (of all things, jaywalking!) for starting to walk into a crosswalk while the light was flashing red and not the white "walk" sign. A very arcane and rarely enforced rule, I was so surprised and bewildered when the police officer stopped me and asked for my driver's license. There are so many people in L.A. who begin crossing on the red flashing sign like I did, yet I was unlucky (and oblivious enough) to get caught by what was essentially a jaywalking sting operation (the officer was there to hand out jaywalking tickets and caught 3 more people on the sidewalk in the time I took to even sort out the confusion).
The fine was just under $200 (!) I decided to fight the ticket, which led me to Metropolitan courthouse (conveniently located near my home) and arrived at the scheduled court time........only to find about 70 people waiting for the same courthouse to open, all with varying traffic violations that they wished to fight (or plead guilty to and pay the fine and just get the hell out of there). I felt as close to going into jail that I ever hope to be, ushered like cattle into a small room functioning as a courthouse with other people who had committed traffic violations, forced by the police officer running the proceedings to sit in a row of chairs so tight it was impossible to move without touching one's neighbor. It really felt like we were snuggled up like badgers in the same hole, caught with nowhere to go.
After an hour of sitting waiting for everyone else's cases to be processed, the arraignment judge finally got out of his chambers, like the Man Behind the Curtain in the Wizard of Oz. What followed was a 40 hour blitz of why those of us in the courtroom were inferior species to him and deserved to suffer. Phones were not allowed. Reading material was not allowed, the judge wanted everyone's full attention on him at all times. The judge in a full hour of talking never smiled once, never changed expression really, and never stuttered or used any "um's or ah's...." really pretty impressive, like a drill sargeant barking out orders. (He actually used the words "do an about face" during his speech). The judge made us feel like we had made the worst decisions of our lives, that we couldn't worm our way out of the horrible crimes that we committed, only by changing our behavior on the road would we ever be absolved of our crimes. "You are here to prevent you from ending up in the HOSPITAL OR THE MORGUE!" Fire and Fury! (from Game of Thrones and Donald Trump) was all I could think of in my head. Really, some of these people were guilty of having forgotten their driver's license at home, or not having a taillight fixed, and in my case being 3 seconds late walking into a crosswalk, yet here we were all listening for 40 minutes about how we MUST pay the fine for our miserable deeds because the courts could attach a lien to a judgment against us. (I mean, some people had a $35 fine, I think they'll be able to pay.....?)
I think personally that the whole episode was meant to scare us common folk into pleading guilty and just paying the fine. The judge was clearly pro-law enforcement indicating that we had no excuses and law enforcement must have had a good reason to stop us and pull us over, and honestly if I knew my trial would be in front of this judge I would have pleaded guilty then and there. Luckily this was just the arraignment and I was just scheduling my case to another time, but unluckily it took four hours just to say "plead not guilty." Something about the court system is really screwed up and distorted, really, when a 3 second mishap about an arcane rule can lead to 4 hours of just sitting around listening to a ranting judge literally judging us for our behavior, and that's just the arraignment stage! Anyone would crack and just pay the fine, but the fine is hundreds of dollars! Just totally encouraging a donation to law enforcement and the government. There's something wrong about that for the common person. It's just so hard to be a common person, trying to go about your day and then getting hit with a fine or violation that you need to fight in court that takes hours to go through the processing. we may be badgers from the same hole but even badgers deserve fair treatment.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, November 20, 2017
Actual Tasting of Food (実食)
The Japanese have a word for a concept that English hasn't caught onto yet: Actually tasting a food that you've heard so much about, and presumably judging the food to see if it matches the hype. Raise your hand if you live in L.A. and have heard about an exotic-sounding food (i.e. shark-fin soup! alligator tacos!), usually with ethnic origins (dim-sum, Mediterranean, Italian sausage) that is ONLY AVAILABLE in a secluded area of the city that's hard to get to, there is always a line that forms, or you have to get there before a certain time of the day to have a chance to get it, or you have to get into an online raffle just to get a chance to purchase tickets (Actually, that's Hamilton, and I'm just bitter I'm 0 for 25 in attempts to win their lottery), so that it's almost difficult to actually taste the food.
MJ and I tried to get into Howlin' Rays (in Chinatown, mentioned before) to actually taste their hot chicken and see what the hype was about, the chicken was right there before our eyes, there were people literally digging their eager hands into the chicken and biting down into the hot spiciness or spicy hotness whatever you want it, it was so close we could touch it ourselves.........but so was a line curling out the door into the local plaza and approximately 2 hours long. No thanks.
Life is all about new experiences, which is what drives the travel industry, the social recreational sports industry (dodgeball, softball, kickball, etc.), the online dating industry, the TV industry, etc., etc., but when it comes to food people go CRAZY to actually sample a food. A lot of times I've heard so much about a food that everyone's been raving about.....the first bite goes in, I'm ready to praise it and enter a whole new world of gourmet ecstasy, to savor something from the ends of the earth, and then........it's not what I expected. Let's take a few more bites. Nope, still tastes pretty common.....is it me? Are my taste buds dulled? And just after you admit the ugly truth to yourself that the taste is not that great, you then have to be considerate to others who came with you on this Actual-tasting ride: "OH great job guys!" Or if they happen to have a confused look or disappointed look on their face, "I agree, not amazing." and out of relief you can commiserate with said friend and say you got bamboozled.
Of course, there are also seldom times I am AMAZED by a food that I've been waiting for for a long time. (Usually it has to do with Italian places, like EATALY in downtown Chicago that is as far away from my parents' cooking as a kid as possible). Those times that the tasting goes awesome, I begrudgingly turn to MJ and go, "you were right, we were justified to wait that long to get this." MJ tends to apprecitae foods much more and be impressed by the actual tasting more than me, which makes me wonder if my taste buds have dulled or I'm spoiled in terms of food.
English should definitely come up with a similar "actual-tasting of a food" term though, like "taste implementing" or "hype bursting" or "taste hopping," something catchy, and it's not exactly like "wine tasting" or "bar hopping" where you're just randomly sampling wines, it has to be tasting food you got hyped about for a while, where the finally knowing about what this food is is half the battle, almost more than getting to taste the (presumably delicious food).
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
MJ and I tried to get into Howlin' Rays (in Chinatown, mentioned before) to actually taste their hot chicken and see what the hype was about, the chicken was right there before our eyes, there were people literally digging their eager hands into the chicken and biting down into the hot spiciness or spicy hotness whatever you want it, it was so close we could touch it ourselves.........but so was a line curling out the door into the local plaza and approximately 2 hours long. No thanks.
Life is all about new experiences, which is what drives the travel industry, the social recreational sports industry (dodgeball, softball, kickball, etc.), the online dating industry, the TV industry, etc., etc., but when it comes to food people go CRAZY to actually sample a food. A lot of times I've heard so much about a food that everyone's been raving about.....the first bite goes in, I'm ready to praise it and enter a whole new world of gourmet ecstasy, to savor something from the ends of the earth, and then........it's not what I expected. Let's take a few more bites. Nope, still tastes pretty common.....is it me? Are my taste buds dulled? And just after you admit the ugly truth to yourself that the taste is not that great, you then have to be considerate to others who came with you on this Actual-tasting ride: "OH great job guys!" Or if they happen to have a confused look or disappointed look on their face, "I agree, not amazing." and out of relief you can commiserate with said friend and say you got bamboozled.
Of course, there are also seldom times I am AMAZED by a food that I've been waiting for for a long time. (Usually it has to do with Italian places, like EATALY in downtown Chicago that is as far away from my parents' cooking as a kid as possible). Those times that the tasting goes awesome, I begrudgingly turn to MJ and go, "you were right, we were justified to wait that long to get this." MJ tends to apprecitae foods much more and be impressed by the actual tasting more than me, which makes me wonder if my taste buds have dulled or I'm spoiled in terms of food.
English should definitely come up with a similar "actual-tasting of a food" term though, like "taste implementing" or "hype bursting" or "taste hopping," something catchy, and it's not exactly like "wine tasting" or "bar hopping" where you're just randomly sampling wines, it has to be tasting food you got hyped about for a while, where the finally knowing about what this food is is half the battle, almost more than getting to taste the (presumably delicious food).
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, November 19, 2017
Pro Bono (プロボノ)
After a sustained time off from volunteering my services as an attorney, I was back at it on Wednesday! Attended the Monterrey Park Free Legal Clinic on Wednesday night geared towards low income citizens with legal questions and a limited proficiency in English. So basically, right up my alley: I got to use both my legal knowledge that I paid 3 years of law school tuition for and my inherent Mandarin Chinese language abilities. It is truly one of the more gratifying experiences to help someone who doesn't have the same abilities as me (basic understanding of the American legal system) or dual fluency in Mandarin and English. Really, that is what "work" was supposed to be originally: a trading of services using abilities that certain people possess and others don't, and trading for what you don't have. Then money got in the way and corrupted everything, and people like me have to chase whichever job pays the most money. It's also time: As I grow older I agree more and more with the phrase time= money, where life only has so many precious minutes and opportunities to create moments, and however you can save time at working and trying to earn money can lead to more opportunities to create those great moments.
Anyway, pro bono is so important in the legal industry because not everyone can afford to pay. The dirty secret for attorneys about how we're taught to think about clients and choosing who to sue/ represent: go for the guys with the deepest pockets, aka have a lot of money. It's a business that revolves around money. You have money, you can afford the best attorneys who can offer the best advice and an army of attorneys to mitigate your troubles (see Donald Trump). You don't have money, well, attorneys won't have much incentive to take your case, or do a good job at it. It's not like McDonald's where everyone can afford a $5 burger, or college where it's an investment in yourself so most people take the gamble of spending a lot of money to build a better future, lawsuits can be supremely costly and yet not have the benefits of things like health insurance and education. That's where pro bono comes in: the legal profession encourages lawyers to do pro bono on top of their normal business, in fact the Professional Code of California suggests every lawyer do 50 hours of pro bono every year (roughly an hour a week, which doesn't seem too bad). I unfortunately haven't met that in any of the 6 years I've been an attorney in the state of CA, and probably won't be able to, but if I feel needed and respected at legal clinics, I feel better about going. (At a lot of volunteer events and clinics, it feels like there are too many attorneys and a lot of just talking to each other,a lot of people are there just to be able to say that they volunteered, without much impact). When you do get to help someone in need, though, it makes you feel like a valued member of society, which is sometimes an even better feeling that earning money.
Free legal clinics also make me appreciate my status in life: As much as I worry about money or the future or possible legal problems, there are always people in worse positions, who don't even speak English, or don't know that they have been sued, or are taken advantage of by people with superior knowledge, so it is important not to always lament why I can't have a better life (actors, CEOs, etc.) and appreciate that I have freedoms more than most people. And I realize why pro bono is important: There are people who do get screwed over by big companies with aggressive attorneys, but they don't have money to pay legal fees, which doesn't mean their claim is any less meritorious, or they be afraid of seeking legal help because they're afraid it will cost them so much to even walk in the door and get a consultation. Free legal clinics at least can look at their case and point them in the right direction.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Anyway, pro bono is so important in the legal industry because not everyone can afford to pay. The dirty secret for attorneys about how we're taught to think about clients and choosing who to sue/ represent: go for the guys with the deepest pockets, aka have a lot of money. It's a business that revolves around money. You have money, you can afford the best attorneys who can offer the best advice and an army of attorneys to mitigate your troubles (see Donald Trump). You don't have money, well, attorneys won't have much incentive to take your case, or do a good job at it. It's not like McDonald's where everyone can afford a $5 burger, or college where it's an investment in yourself so most people take the gamble of spending a lot of money to build a better future, lawsuits can be supremely costly and yet not have the benefits of things like health insurance and education. That's where pro bono comes in: the legal profession encourages lawyers to do pro bono on top of their normal business, in fact the Professional Code of California suggests every lawyer do 50 hours of pro bono every year (roughly an hour a week, which doesn't seem too bad). I unfortunately haven't met that in any of the 6 years I've been an attorney in the state of CA, and probably won't be able to, but if I feel needed and respected at legal clinics, I feel better about going. (At a lot of volunteer events and clinics, it feels like there are too many attorneys and a lot of just talking to each other,a lot of people are there just to be able to say that they volunteered, without much impact). When you do get to help someone in need, though, it makes you feel like a valued member of society, which is sometimes an even better feeling that earning money.
Free legal clinics also make me appreciate my status in life: As much as I worry about money or the future or possible legal problems, there are always people in worse positions, who don't even speak English, or don't know that they have been sued, or are taken advantage of by people with superior knowledge, so it is important not to always lament why I can't have a better life (actors, CEOs, etc.) and appreciate that I have freedoms more than most people. And I realize why pro bono is important: There are people who do get screwed over by big companies with aggressive attorneys, but they don't have money to pay legal fees, which doesn't mean their claim is any less meritorious, or they be afraid of seeking legal help because they're afraid it will cost them so much to even walk in the door and get a consultation. Free legal clinics at least can look at their case and point them in the right direction.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, November 13, 2017
Idol (アイドル)
I'm not talking about immunity idols (of which there are still plenty floating around on Survivor islands, I would still love to join!), I'm talking about entertainment idols, people who become stars due to their singing, rapping, dancing, etc. and attract a tight, passionate group of followers. There's a lot of things I like about Japanese and Korean culture, I've learned tons of unique ones as I've studied both languages the last several years, from samurai to temples to games to how they address elders to popular holidays that give the culture a flair I really appreciate, but one of the things I just can't appreciate or sympathize with is the obsession with idols.
Maybe it's because I recently went to a Japanese idol concert in West Hollywood at The Troubadour (a small room with a small stage with bar service trying to get as many people as they could to buy alcohol), an artist by the name of "Sky High," a stage name derived from his last name which roughly translated is "sky high." It was what could be expected, there was an opening act by another band that was equally as contrived and aroused my suspicions of lip-syncing, although I'm not an expert in that department by any means. Then when "Sky High came out with strobe lights shooting out, his female fans screamed and welcomed him with shrill shouts of ecstasy, like I imagine how Justin Bieber or Gavin DeGraw or any other famous male singer is introduced, except instead of thousands of fans at the Staples Center or Greek Theatre it was in front of a small circle of 20 diehards in West Hollywood (kind of sad really, but probably sadder that I paid to get into this show). He did a rap, had his backup dancers dance with him, played the piano, spoke to the audience in broken English during the breaks to catch his breath (he was dripping sweat towards the end from moving so much which I can empathize with but I imagine might DEMYSTIFY him for some of his female fans) and played an encore. Not bad really for a $32 show, but what I don't get is the attraction to become mega fans of this kind of show. I arrived an hour before the show time due to misunderstanding the start time (doors open means there's like an hour before they even begin, and that's just the opening act) where VIP guests were already waiting to get in to shake hands, take photos, and just be with SKY HI. They were so worried about getting to do this that they were rude to me in line for allegedly cutting them one space in line. Really? Aren't these idols all very similar? There wasn't anything particular special about SKY HI, maybe something about the lyrics that went too fast in Japanese for me to understand? (I can't even follow the lyrics for English songs most times)? He's really attractive? I feel like everything about Mr. SKY HI could be replaced by someone else pretty easily, from his very Asian hairstyle, his all-black outfit, his choreographed dance moves. Isn't there just another idol right around the corner? I guess we can all be replaced, sadly, who am I to say?
There's a very "otaku" culture in Japan and the same idea in other Asian cultures of being obsessive about certain things, and it can be very good for loyalty and devotion but dangerous in rejecting everything else and being so emotionally invested. That's why people get so upset about SMAP (Japanese equivalent of the Beatles) breaking up or some AKB48 (Akihabara 48, a Japanese girl idol group) member leaving. Really? What do these idols do for you, the fan? Sure they're saying, "I love you, LA!" but I'm sure they're saying "I love you New York, I love you Tokyo!" too, why the undying loyalty for mere entertainment? It's the same thing I guess with avid sports fans who live and die by their favorite sports team, they go to every game and feel like they're part of the team, even if the team loses all the time and doesn't care about its fans. At some point, don't you need some sort of reciprocation for all the love and energy you put into it? Music groups move on and break up all the time (sports teams lose and suck for years and years at a time or never win the championship) without blinking an eye, but fans have to stay with them forever? Seems like an unfair deal to me, I admire the devotion of those super fans and wish I am jealous of the idols who get all that loyal attention I'm out. ( I really only need one superfan, anyway! MJ!)
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Maybe it's because I recently went to a Japanese idol concert in West Hollywood at The Troubadour (a small room with a small stage with bar service trying to get as many people as they could to buy alcohol), an artist by the name of "Sky High," a stage name derived from his last name which roughly translated is "sky high." It was what could be expected, there was an opening act by another band that was equally as contrived and aroused my suspicions of lip-syncing, although I'm not an expert in that department by any means. Then when "Sky High came out with strobe lights shooting out, his female fans screamed and welcomed him with shrill shouts of ecstasy, like I imagine how Justin Bieber or Gavin DeGraw or any other famous male singer is introduced, except instead of thousands of fans at the Staples Center or Greek Theatre it was in front of a small circle of 20 diehards in West Hollywood (kind of sad really, but probably sadder that I paid to get into this show). He did a rap, had his backup dancers dance with him, played the piano, spoke to the audience in broken English during the breaks to catch his breath (he was dripping sweat towards the end from moving so much which I can empathize with but I imagine might DEMYSTIFY him for some of his female fans) and played an encore. Not bad really for a $32 show, but what I don't get is the attraction to become mega fans of this kind of show. I arrived an hour before the show time due to misunderstanding the start time (doors open means there's like an hour before they even begin, and that's just the opening act) where VIP guests were already waiting to get in to shake hands, take photos, and just be with SKY HI. They were so worried about getting to do this that they were rude to me in line for allegedly cutting them one space in line. Really? Aren't these idols all very similar? There wasn't anything particular special about SKY HI, maybe something about the lyrics that went too fast in Japanese for me to understand? (I can't even follow the lyrics for English songs most times)? He's really attractive? I feel like everything about Mr. SKY HI could be replaced by someone else pretty easily, from his very Asian hairstyle, his all-black outfit, his choreographed dance moves. Isn't there just another idol right around the corner? I guess we can all be replaced, sadly, who am I to say?
There's a very "otaku" culture in Japan and the same idea in other Asian cultures of being obsessive about certain things, and it can be very good for loyalty and devotion but dangerous in rejecting everything else and being so emotionally invested. That's why people get so upset about SMAP (Japanese equivalent of the Beatles) breaking up or some AKB48 (Akihabara 48, a Japanese girl idol group) member leaving. Really? What do these idols do for you, the fan? Sure they're saying, "I love you, LA!" but I'm sure they're saying "I love you New York, I love you Tokyo!" too, why the undying loyalty for mere entertainment? It's the same thing I guess with avid sports fans who live and die by their favorite sports team, they go to every game and feel like they're part of the team, even if the team loses all the time and doesn't care about its fans. At some point, don't you need some sort of reciprocation for all the love and energy you put into it? Music groups move on and break up all the time (sports teams lose and suck for years and years at a time or never win the championship) without blinking an eye, but fans have to stay with them forever? Seems like an unfair deal to me, I admire the devotion of those super fans and wish I am jealous of the idols who get all that loyal attention I'm out. ( I really only need one superfan, anyway! MJ!)
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Genius ( 지니어스)
Is there a scientific definition for who qualifies as a genius? Apparently there is a designated IQ score for someone to be a genius, but there could be so many different variations of who qualifies as a genius. For instance, I think I am a dodgeball "genius" due to my vast knowledge of the sport and the way the game works and have constantly studied strategies and techniques. Others may say genius is being able to adapt to different situations and be able to react accordingly in any situation appropriately, or a genius can be someone who has a broad array of knowledge in a wide array of disciplines.
Recently I became addicted to a Korean show called "The Genius," what I like to describe as a cross between a Korean game show and survivor. 13 contestants try to win games every week that challenge one's social abilities as well as thinking abilities, putting contestants through new games each week that require unique ways to solve the puzzle. The games are not that "hard," per se, and the host gives a great detailed explanation of the rules, it's just applying it is hard given so many different variables. I love it. It's a lot like party games I used to relish in college like "Mafia" or "Catchphrase," mind-bending activities that I got as much of a high from as others who chose to use recreational drugs like alcohol or marijuana. It's really sad, in my opinion, that the golden college years is wasted by so many (in the U.S. at least) on drinking, fraternities, drunken parties, and other debaucherous behavior that doesn't use up much brain cells. Indeed, 18, the time when young people are at the absolute apex of their mental abilities and the absolute apex of their free time/ lack of responsibilities and work obligations and ability to make their own decisions, is spent pursuing the party life. Sure there's studying for school, but then what better way to use your non-studying time to engage in intellectually challenging activities that are also really fun?
Sorry for the nerdy rant. Do check out "The Genius," though, there are 4 full seasons of the show, unfortunately all in Korean (there are subtitles though!) but a nice peek into Korean culture and different social interactions and balances, such as the Yutnori game that is apparently ubiquitous in Korea, or the amount of respect "hobae" (disciple) have for their senior (songbae), or in Japanese, senpai. It's just a really smart show for smart people. like humans on a chessboard or watching a really skillful game of "Mafia" being played. Or just go watch the new Marvel comics movie (the most recent one Thor:Ragnorak is apparently very good and let your mind go to waste. I feel like one of my passion projects if I ever make gobs of money (like $10 million +) would be to create an American version of The Genius (either that or The Mole), that's 2nd only to my No. 1 passion project of creating my own dodgeball association. All I need now is to get those millions of dollars first!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Recently I became addicted to a Korean show called "The Genius," what I like to describe as a cross between a Korean game show and survivor. 13 contestants try to win games every week that challenge one's social abilities as well as thinking abilities, putting contestants through new games each week that require unique ways to solve the puzzle. The games are not that "hard," per se, and the host gives a great detailed explanation of the rules, it's just applying it is hard given so many different variables. I love it. It's a lot like party games I used to relish in college like "Mafia" or "Catchphrase," mind-bending activities that I got as much of a high from as others who chose to use recreational drugs like alcohol or marijuana. It's really sad, in my opinion, that the golden college years is wasted by so many (in the U.S. at least) on drinking, fraternities, drunken parties, and other debaucherous behavior that doesn't use up much brain cells. Indeed, 18, the time when young people are at the absolute apex of their mental abilities and the absolute apex of their free time/ lack of responsibilities and work obligations and ability to make their own decisions, is spent pursuing the party life. Sure there's studying for school, but then what better way to use your non-studying time to engage in intellectually challenging activities that are also really fun?
Sorry for the nerdy rant. Do check out "The Genius," though, there are 4 full seasons of the show, unfortunately all in Korean (there are subtitles though!) but a nice peek into Korean culture and different social interactions and balances, such as the Yutnori game that is apparently ubiquitous in Korea, or the amount of respect "hobae" (disciple) have for their senior (songbae), or in Japanese, senpai. It's just a really smart show for smart people. like humans on a chessboard or watching a really skillful game of "Mafia" being played. Or just go watch the new Marvel comics movie (the most recent one Thor:Ragnorak is apparently very good and let your mind go to waste. I feel like one of my passion projects if I ever make gobs of money (like $10 million +) would be to create an American version of The Genius (either that or The Mole), that's 2nd only to my No. 1 passion project of creating my own dodgeball association. All I need now is to get those millions of dollars first!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
お菓子 = Candy
It's that time of year again: A string of holidays that promote the consumption of candy, chocolate, and other sweets. The offending holidays' names? Halloween (all about candy), Thanksgiving (you need some dessert and apple pie to balance out all the turkey and gravy, right?), Christmas (Candy canes and silver lanes aglow and all that), then a sneaky one because it's the next calendar year but still in that winter season: Valentine's Day in February, and in Japan there's even a BACKWARDS Valentine's Day called White Day where there's even more chocolate consumed......Really a damning time for our already inflated waistlines, especially with all the processed sugars in candy, the winter hibernation and sitting around and cold weather really doesn't help any of that.
Continuing the rant (It's not over!), candy is the one food that actually gives no nutritional value! All it does is give people a sugar high and doesn't fill them up (actually does the opposite by giving a stomache). Count running out after sugar too, because sugar that tricky fellow gives a quick boost of energy for like the first minute of the run, you feel on top of the world, and then it rips the high from under you and there's a major crash, no energy.
My personal nutritionist (she also happens to be my wife) tells me that we should eat a lot of foods that have different colors because they all have different nutrients to them.....especially green, red, purple, orange, etc.......that's awesome for a salad. But chocolate.......chocolates have all the wrong colors, the thick coating of brown, the milk chocolate white indicating dairy, cheese, and richness.....and the golden yellow of peanut butter, very ominous colors for a healthy lifestyle. Also black? really dark chocolate = really bad for teeth.
With all those caveats to discourage kids from eating candy and getting hooked on candy, here are my top candies to have (if you must, use with extreme discretion):
1.) Snickers: Hungry? Why wait. The heyday of the chocolate/sweets industry left us with so many great commercials, and their advertising campaign still produces great ones like "You're not yourself when you're hungry. Have a snickers." Couple that with the rich creamy milk chocolate and peanut butter taste, it's what most people think about when they think of a chocolate bar.
2.) Kit Kat: Gimme a break, gimme a break. Break me off a piece of that.....(even featured in an episode of The Office, Andy trying to sing that song, it was so mainstream). Very crispy, has its name ingrained on each piece for more subliminal enforcement, wafer-style makes me want it just thinking about it. Also comes in Green Tea now, and Japanese people give them out for people taking exams as encouragement because it sounds like "Must win" in Japanese.
3.) M&M's: still people dressing up in the colorful costumes and used to own a M&M shaped chair. Like the variety of peanut butter, cinnamon, and the ability to stop after consuming just a few pieces of regret.
Further down: Reese's gets mushed too much
Underrated: Almond Joy. Almond + chocolate + coconut = enough of a taste differentiation from other chocolates to feel really special (ever notice how some chocolates just mix together and it all starts tasting the same after a while?)
Only consume if you're in a bind and there's literally no under candy around: Hershey's. Bland, no innovation, maybe they shouldn't stay "unchanged since 1899" anymore and actually like, you know, evolve and improve .
Snickers's inferior cousins: 3 Musketeers, Milky Way.
Twizzler's or Red Vine: really, are these even candies?
Seriously though, I can't believe my parents let me consume all this stuff when I was a kid and ruin my teeth/my diet/ become chubby! They're scientists too, they should know about addiction! I had to become an adult to detox on all these sugars! Shame! Only give ONE piece of candy as a reward for eating a WHOLE salad or doing a FULL workout. Nothing tastes good anymore after eating candy, and the artificial of it all comes out. Eat sweet fruits like grapes or oranges as a replacement, you'll thank me later, kids of the world.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Continuing the rant (It's not over!), candy is the one food that actually gives no nutritional value! All it does is give people a sugar high and doesn't fill them up (actually does the opposite by giving a stomache). Count running out after sugar too, because sugar that tricky fellow gives a quick boost of energy for like the first minute of the run, you feel on top of the world, and then it rips the high from under you and there's a major crash, no energy.
My personal nutritionist (she also happens to be my wife) tells me that we should eat a lot of foods that have different colors because they all have different nutrients to them.....especially green, red, purple, orange, etc.......that's awesome for a salad. But chocolate.......chocolates have all the wrong colors, the thick coating of brown, the milk chocolate white indicating dairy, cheese, and richness.....and the golden yellow of peanut butter, very ominous colors for a healthy lifestyle. Also black? really dark chocolate = really bad for teeth.
With all those caveats to discourage kids from eating candy and getting hooked on candy, here are my top candies to have (if you must, use with extreme discretion):
1.) Snickers: Hungry? Why wait. The heyday of the chocolate/sweets industry left us with so many great commercials, and their advertising campaign still produces great ones like "You're not yourself when you're hungry. Have a snickers." Couple that with the rich creamy milk chocolate and peanut butter taste, it's what most people think about when they think of a chocolate bar.
2.) Kit Kat: Gimme a break, gimme a break. Break me off a piece of that.....(even featured in an episode of The Office, Andy trying to sing that song, it was so mainstream). Very crispy, has its name ingrained on each piece for more subliminal enforcement, wafer-style makes me want it just thinking about it. Also comes in Green Tea now, and Japanese people give them out for people taking exams as encouragement because it sounds like "Must win" in Japanese.
3.) M&M's: still people dressing up in the colorful costumes and used to own a M&M shaped chair. Like the variety of peanut butter, cinnamon, and the ability to stop after consuming just a few pieces of regret.
Further down: Reese's gets mushed too much
Underrated: Almond Joy. Almond + chocolate + coconut = enough of a taste differentiation from other chocolates to feel really special (ever notice how some chocolates just mix together and it all starts tasting the same after a while?)
Only consume if you're in a bind and there's literally no under candy around: Hershey's. Bland, no innovation, maybe they shouldn't stay "unchanged since 1899" anymore and actually like, you know, evolve and improve .
Snickers's inferior cousins: 3 Musketeers, Milky Way.
Twizzler's or Red Vine: really, are these even candies?
Seriously though, I can't believe my parents let me consume all this stuff when I was a kid and ruin my teeth/my diet/ become chubby! They're scientists too, they should know about addiction! I had to become an adult to detox on all these sugars! Shame! Only give ONE piece of candy as a reward for eating a WHOLE salad or doing a FULL workout. Nothing tastes good anymore after eating candy, and the artificial of it all comes out. Eat sweet fruits like grapes or oranges as a replacement, you'll thank me later, kids of the world.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, November 6, 2017
中華街 (Chinatown)
Whenever I go to a new city, I'm interested in ballparks, tallest buildings, landmark structures, statues, and.....where its Chinatown is located. My first residence in America was near Chicago's Chinatown, after all. Like major airports and sports teams, a city is not complete without its Chinatown.
I've lived in Los Angeles and surrounding areas for several years now, and there are some atypical things about this city: the lack of tall buildings in downtown, the lack of public transportation (one of the only cities I've ever been to without a direct train ride form the main airport (LAX) to downtown, or anywhere for that matter), the proximity to the beach and large expanse of beach land, the forced relocation of many families from Chavez Ravine to build a baseball stadium (Dodger Stadium), etc., etc. This past Friday night, MJ and I visited one of the more puzzling aspects of the city, to me: the relatively abandoned Chinatown.
First of all, there are 2 Chinatowns in Los Angeles, "old Chinatown" near L.A. downtown and then "new Chinatown" in the San Gabriel Valley areas of Monterrey Park, Alhambra, etc. As far as I can remember, my family has only ever gone to the "new Chinatown," and left the "old Chinatown" behind. But as MJ and I walked down the mostly-abandoned streets of Broadway and Main making up the main areas of old Chinatown (you can even find street parking, which is a sure sign an area is not busy!) we couldn't help but wonder why the place wasn't more bustling with activity. It's got a lot going for it:
1.) location near downtown L.A. and Dodger Stadium: I pass Chinatown every time I run from my office in downtown L.A. to Elysian Park and Dodger Stadium. It's a short bus ride away from downtown and even has a gold line subway stop now connecting to L.A. Union Station. It's more accessible than the airport and much closer to the financial center! Don't have to wait in traffic!
2.) Recognizable film presence! Rush Hour starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker was filmed at the Foo Chow Restaurant and it's displayed prominently on its walls attracting patrons to come in, as well as parts of Lala Land.
3.) New restaurants springing up! MJ was very interested in Howlin' Rays, a fried chicken joint imitating the famous Nashville hot chicken places. Videos showed lines formed for lunch, but the restaurant was closed by 4PM on a Friday! Incredible, indicating that there's demand for stuff, just not at dinner, when people go to more hip areas of Los Angeles. The legendary french dip sandwich place called Philippe's is also there. The place is just brimming with history and tradition!
4.) New residential developments cropping up, although local residents (mostly Chinese and Hispanic) are not happy because the higher-end shops and residents they're attracting are not the type that fit the local tradition.
5.) Food's pretty good and cheap! People love Chinese food! Store owners seemed to be Chinese and making authentic Chinese food (dim sum!) and prices were certainly low enough to get my attention as opposed to blowing $60 plus on the newest trendy joint in Hollywood/Santa Monica.
L.A. supposedly is an upcoming and city, and there are new areas that become hip and trendy, so there's definitely hope for "old Chinatown" to have a makeover, especially the convenient real estate where it sits. I just wish that on a Friday night after a long week for Los Angeles residents where Halloween happened and the Dodgers lost an epic 7-game World Series and have many reasons to disperse of some pent-up energy, that MJ and I would not be the only ones sitting in a decent Chinese restaurant (the B rating just shows how authentic and hole-in-a-wall it is!) and disappointed to find that the hot chicken place we heard so much about was closed. Free Chinatown! Make old Chinatown great again!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I've lived in Los Angeles and surrounding areas for several years now, and there are some atypical things about this city: the lack of tall buildings in downtown, the lack of public transportation (one of the only cities I've ever been to without a direct train ride form the main airport (LAX) to downtown, or anywhere for that matter), the proximity to the beach and large expanse of beach land, the forced relocation of many families from Chavez Ravine to build a baseball stadium (Dodger Stadium), etc., etc. This past Friday night, MJ and I visited one of the more puzzling aspects of the city, to me: the relatively abandoned Chinatown.
First of all, there are 2 Chinatowns in Los Angeles, "old Chinatown" near L.A. downtown and then "new Chinatown" in the San Gabriel Valley areas of Monterrey Park, Alhambra, etc. As far as I can remember, my family has only ever gone to the "new Chinatown," and left the "old Chinatown" behind. But as MJ and I walked down the mostly-abandoned streets of Broadway and Main making up the main areas of old Chinatown (you can even find street parking, which is a sure sign an area is not busy!) we couldn't help but wonder why the place wasn't more bustling with activity. It's got a lot going for it:
1.) location near downtown L.A. and Dodger Stadium: I pass Chinatown every time I run from my office in downtown L.A. to Elysian Park and Dodger Stadium. It's a short bus ride away from downtown and even has a gold line subway stop now connecting to L.A. Union Station. It's more accessible than the airport and much closer to the financial center! Don't have to wait in traffic!
2.) Recognizable film presence! Rush Hour starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker was filmed at the Foo Chow Restaurant and it's displayed prominently on its walls attracting patrons to come in, as well as parts of Lala Land.
3.) New restaurants springing up! MJ was very interested in Howlin' Rays, a fried chicken joint imitating the famous Nashville hot chicken places. Videos showed lines formed for lunch, but the restaurant was closed by 4PM on a Friday! Incredible, indicating that there's demand for stuff, just not at dinner, when people go to more hip areas of Los Angeles. The legendary french dip sandwich place called Philippe's is also there. The place is just brimming with history and tradition!
4.) New residential developments cropping up, although local residents (mostly Chinese and Hispanic) are not happy because the higher-end shops and residents they're attracting are not the type that fit the local tradition.
5.) Food's pretty good and cheap! People love Chinese food! Store owners seemed to be Chinese and making authentic Chinese food (dim sum!) and prices were certainly low enough to get my attention as opposed to blowing $60 plus on the newest trendy joint in Hollywood/Santa Monica.
L.A. supposedly is an upcoming and city, and there are new areas that become hip and trendy, so there's definitely hope for "old Chinatown" to have a makeover, especially the convenient real estate where it sits. I just wish that on a Friday night after a long week for Los Angeles residents where Halloween happened and the Dodgers lost an epic 7-game World Series and have many reasons to disperse of some pent-up energy, that MJ and I would not be the only ones sitting in a decent Chinese restaurant (the B rating just shows how authentic and hole-in-a-wall it is!) and disappointed to find that the hot chicken place we heard so much about was closed. Free Chinatown! Make old Chinatown great again!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Saturday, November 4, 2017
口出し and わりこみ - Interrupting someone
Speaking to other kids was a chore as a kid. No rules to social etiquette, so lots of speaking whenever one wanted (irresponsibly), butting in to someone else's sentence without a second thought. Upon becoming an adult one learns a lot about how to behave, unwritten rules about proper etiquette in various types of situations, but people still butt in and break the rules . It's often not listed in a handbook or cheat sheet anywhere (although, I've always advocated for a "How to be an Adult" guide for those who don't get it, but it's a subtle art to master everything. One of the most important indicators of someone "getting it" is when to jump into a conversation, avoiding interrupting someone.
It depends on the culture, but it's important to let someone finish their sentence or train of thought. This is often indicated by the sentence losing steam or coming to an end, at which point there is a slight pause and an opportunity is presented to give one's own thoughts and reply to what the speaker had just said. This is often an important time also to let anyone else who's listening get a chance to speak, so as not to monopolize the conversation. It's called being courteous and being considerate of others. Sometimes, even around my "friend circle" and very educated adults, the etiquette of not "cutting in" gets lost as people just jump in with their own ideas without letting someone finish their own thought.
1.) Often, Japanese people complete their conversation partner's sentence for them. This is actually considered polite if it's just to confirm what they were saying, not just jumping off into a new topic and totally dismissing what the original speaker said.
2.) Someone who always butts in can be diagnosed as "not being able to read the air," or just not gauging the atmosphere, unable to read the room. "Reading the room" is one of the most important cliches in social circles, knowing who is who and who has what agenda, who is friends and allied with whom, those are super important.
3.) If you do happen to interrupt someone who wasn't done talking, apologize and ask him/her were finished .Let him or her finish.
4.) One of the most frustrating things when talking in a group is having a great follow-up or joke right after original speaker is done speaker, but someone else jumps in first and takes the topic in a different direction, and the joke/thought doesn't make any sense anymore.
5.) What happens if 2 more more speakers start speaking at the same time? BOTH should stop! Then make eye contact and defer based on various factors like age, sex (ladies first!), and then maybe urgency to make the point, how much each potential speaker has been given a chance to speak earlier, etc. Whatever the case, don't just keep talking thinking the others will stop by their own accord! Some inconsiderate people will just keep talking in a daring game of "chicken" to see if the other person will just stop if they're persistent enough. HAVE COMMON COURTESY!
6.) If you originally interrupted somebody when starting your thought but made the statement anyway, at the end of your statement direct it to the interrupted party by going "sorry what did you want to say?" etc. By this time they might have lost all interest to speak and clammed up but it's important to give them a chance to get back into the conversation that they just got elbowed out of.
7.) It's different when engaging in a domestic quibble/fight/verbal battle/ debate. In those ways words are used as a weapon in a mounting conflict, so I understand sometimes emotions and competiton getting in the way of things and things being blurted out. But in fights (MJ and I unfortunately do this and know all too well!) it might more important than usual to listen to what the other person says first before blurting one's own thoughts.
"Warikomu" in japanese can mean either cutting into a conversation OR the traditional sense of cutting in line, and line-cutting is definitely something society needs some rules for. Can you cut in line if your partner/friend was saving a spot for you? If it's ok for 1 person, what about 6 or 7 people coming into the line with just 1 person holding a spot? Is that OK? Are lines even an effective way to order people anymore? (maybe create a market where people who pay more get to go to front of line?) There's definitely been times I thought I was in line, then someone just comes in from somewhere else and doesn't see the imaginary construct I created and just goes up to the front, leaving the line in his or dust. I'm super conscious now of it and make sure I ask if anyone is in line BEFORE I step to the front of the register nowadays to make sure I'm not hypocritically committing my own pet peeve.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
It depends on the culture, but it's important to let someone finish their sentence or train of thought. This is often indicated by the sentence losing steam or coming to an end, at which point there is a slight pause and an opportunity is presented to give one's own thoughts and reply to what the speaker had just said. This is often an important time also to let anyone else who's listening get a chance to speak, so as not to monopolize the conversation. It's called being courteous and being considerate of others. Sometimes, even around my "friend circle" and very educated adults, the etiquette of not "cutting in" gets lost as people just jump in with their own ideas without letting someone finish their own thought.
1.) Often, Japanese people complete their conversation partner's sentence for them. This is actually considered polite if it's just to confirm what they were saying, not just jumping off into a new topic and totally dismissing what the original speaker said.
2.) Someone who always butts in can be diagnosed as "not being able to read the air," or just not gauging the atmosphere, unable to read the room. "Reading the room" is one of the most important cliches in social circles, knowing who is who and who has what agenda, who is friends and allied with whom, those are super important.
3.) If you do happen to interrupt someone who wasn't done talking, apologize and ask him/her were finished .Let him or her finish.
4.) One of the most frustrating things when talking in a group is having a great follow-up or joke right after original speaker is done speaker, but someone else jumps in first and takes the topic in a different direction, and the joke/thought doesn't make any sense anymore.
5.) What happens if 2 more more speakers start speaking at the same time? BOTH should stop! Then make eye contact and defer based on various factors like age, sex (ladies first!), and then maybe urgency to make the point, how much each potential speaker has been given a chance to speak earlier, etc. Whatever the case, don't just keep talking thinking the others will stop by their own accord! Some inconsiderate people will just keep talking in a daring game of "chicken" to see if the other person will just stop if they're persistent enough. HAVE COMMON COURTESY!
6.) If you originally interrupted somebody when starting your thought but made the statement anyway, at the end of your statement direct it to the interrupted party by going "sorry what did you want to say?" etc. By this time they might have lost all interest to speak and clammed up but it's important to give them a chance to get back into the conversation that they just got elbowed out of.
7.) It's different when engaging in a domestic quibble/fight/verbal battle/ debate. In those ways words are used as a weapon in a mounting conflict, so I understand sometimes emotions and competiton getting in the way of things and things being blurted out. But in fights (MJ and I unfortunately do this and know all too well!) it might more important than usual to listen to what the other person says first before blurting one's own thoughts.
"Warikomu" in japanese can mean either cutting into a conversation OR the traditional sense of cutting in line, and line-cutting is definitely something society needs some rules for. Can you cut in line if your partner/friend was saving a spot for you? If it's ok for 1 person, what about 6 or 7 people coming into the line with just 1 person holding a spot? Is that OK? Are lines even an effective way to order people anymore? (maybe create a market where people who pay more get to go to front of line?) There's definitely been times I thought I was in line, then someone just comes in from somewhere else and doesn't see the imaginary construct I created and just goes up to the front, leaving the line in his or dust. I'm super conscious now of it and make sure I ask if anyone is in line BEFORE I step to the front of the register nowadays to make sure I'm not hypocritically committing my own pet peeve.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
청개구리 (The Green Frog)
Just learned more Korean today! (Was very inspired by the "Do you want to eat some ramyeon?" idiom from last night). Apparently, a green frog is a rebellious child who does the opposite of what his mother tells him (or her? not sure but I feel like it's more likely to be a son) to do. So the mom, anticipating the son to do the opposite of what she says, tells him to bury her near the river, thinking he'll do the opposite, but instead he actually for once in his pathetic life does what he's told and honors his mom's last wish, and the mom's body washes away when the river swells up. First of all, sad story, and a great lesson about not burying people in low sea levels, but I feel for the parents! Some kids are just born to never follow directions, and you never know when these "green frogs" will finally mature and turn into full adults and actually get it. It could be really early (teens), 20's, or never! It's different for everyone. Second of all, these are the kinds of stories parents deliberately tell their kids to affect behavior, and now having gone through that process I see how effective it is. It's like the story of Santa Clause to get kids to behave well, or Gods, or the story of the Boogeyman, or that there are sharks in the ocean that will eat them if they go too far out, or that if you swallow gum it'll take 7 years to pass through your system, etc., etc. As a lawyer it sounds like the kids should band together as a class action and sue their parents for fraud and deliberating misrepresentation, but as parents it's brilliant: kids will always be curious if parents tell them "NOT to do something," they'll inevitably want to do it. (Should have told the kids recently who threw rocks on a highway overpass and killed a driver with a rock- horrible story, every car driver and passenger's worst nightmare) You need something so scary but believable to scare the kids straight into not doing that activity, ever.
I often feel like the green frog in my relationship with MJ. She says don't get blood on the towels, I inevitably get blood on the towels. She says don't put fruit garbage in the wastebasket because they attract fruit flies (and instead put them in the freezer, an ingenious idea I never thought of), I inevitably leave some fruit in the wastebasket. Maybe one day she will say the opposite of what she wants to happen and that'll be the one time I finally heed her orders! Maybe she should make up a story about bad stuff that will happen (like if I don't pick up all my nails I'll turn into a green frog or something, and it'll effect change- incentives drive people's actions).
The green frog is just one in several animal imagery words Koreans use, like "all women are foxes, all mean are wolves." I love animal imagery when learning language, which is pretty universal in most languages: we learn faster things we can visualize, like equating women to the image of a fox, as opposed to all the different ways to say "agree" or "support" that have so many different variations and require the most brutal method of rote memorization. I feel like if corporate tax law or the California Code of Civil Procedure had animal metaphors and laws that were named after animals or related to animals, I (and many others) would remember a lot more of them. (OR if the punishment for felonies was something incredible like the offenders will turn into green frogs or something)
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I often feel like the green frog in my relationship with MJ. She says don't get blood on the towels, I inevitably get blood on the towels. She says don't put fruit garbage in the wastebasket because they attract fruit flies (and instead put them in the freezer, an ingenious idea I never thought of), I inevitably leave some fruit in the wastebasket. Maybe one day she will say the opposite of what she wants to happen and that'll be the one time I finally heed her orders! Maybe she should make up a story about bad stuff that will happen (like if I don't pick up all my nails I'll turn into a green frog or something, and it'll effect change- incentives drive people's actions).
The green frog is just one in several animal imagery words Koreans use, like "all women are foxes, all mean are wolves." I love animal imagery when learning language, which is pretty universal in most languages: we learn faster things we can visualize, like equating women to the image of a fox, as opposed to all the different ways to say "agree" or "support" that have so many different variations and require the most brutal method of rote memorization. I feel like if corporate tax law or the California Code of Civil Procedure had animal metaphors and laws that were named after animals or related to animals, I (and many others) would remember a lot more of them. (OR if the punishment for felonies was something incredible like the offenders will turn into green frogs or something)
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, October 30, 2017
逆転勝ち (Come-from-behind victory)
October 29, 2017 will live in most people's memories as the Sunday right before Halloween (Tuesday this year), or Week 8 of the 2017 NFL season, or the weekend Robert Mueller announced there would be indictments coming out on Monday for the Trump administration's Russia investigation, but for baseball enthusiasts and Los Angeles/ Houston residents it will be forever remembered as one of the best baseball games ever played, Game 5 of the 2017 World Series. For MJ and I, it will be remembered as the first time MJ and I watched a baseball game together almost from start to finish (and it was 5.5 hours long!) and even listened in a brief pause to the radio broadcast of the game! It took a really special game to do that, and this game was definitely it.
For most of us, the unknown is an exciting prospect, it's in fact a huge motivation for the will to live. We want to know what happens next, how that exotic food tastes, what we got on our test, what monsters await in the haunted house, etc., etc. Whole economies are driven by it, like the video game industry luring gamers into new worlds packed with thrilling surprises and unbeatable bosses (Playstation's ad recently capitalizes on that, blatantly telling gamers that they're catering to the common person's sense of wandering into the unknown.) It's in our blood, our DNA, our ancestors did it and explored, there's a sense of excitement about getting to uncover a secret, getting to know something that we didn't know before. It's why I (on a whim) took MJ to the Palos Verdos South Coast Botanical Garden today, we were going to go to the beach but I just could not hold back from stopping by the new place and find out what's there. Answer: nothing too exciting, and more a park than a garden, but now I have the satisfaction of knowing. I've conquered the unknown.
Sports operate mostly the same way. It would be boring if people just told us what the score was, we want to know by watching the game and seeing how it plays out, thus providing ourselves the experience of conquering the unknown. Most baseball games, unfortunately, get boring because the results are known (or are assumed to be known) after a certain score is achieved or a team goes ahead by enough runs. But on the night of October 29, 2017, nothing was known about the game until the final score: 13-12, in 10 innings. If there's anything that can be gathered about the game, it's that score: baseball games never go 12-12. Even if one team scores 12 runs (very unlikely), the other team almost never scores exactly 12 too.....it's usually a blowout, like 12-1, 12-2. What was also unique about this game was how many ties there were: one team jumped out to a lead, and the other tried to come-from-behind, the most exciting type of game. In any sports game, one team takes the lead, and unless you're a diehard fan of the other team, your competitiveness and thirst for a good game wants the losing team to come from behind and catch up to make it exciting, because in a tie game or something close to it, there's a thrill of not knowing who's going to win, especially in the game of anticipation, baseball.
And now, even though the Dodgers are down 3-2, the World Series heads back to Los Angeles for a game (maybe 2!), and the unknown of what might happen on Tuesday (Halloween night!) will drive fans crazy wanting to known. Enjoy!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan.
For most of us, the unknown is an exciting prospect, it's in fact a huge motivation for the will to live. We want to know what happens next, how that exotic food tastes, what we got on our test, what monsters await in the haunted house, etc., etc. Whole economies are driven by it, like the video game industry luring gamers into new worlds packed with thrilling surprises and unbeatable bosses (Playstation's ad recently capitalizes on that, blatantly telling gamers that they're catering to the common person's sense of wandering into the unknown.) It's in our blood, our DNA, our ancestors did it and explored, there's a sense of excitement about getting to uncover a secret, getting to know something that we didn't know before. It's why I (on a whim) took MJ to the Palos Verdos South Coast Botanical Garden today, we were going to go to the beach but I just could not hold back from stopping by the new place and find out what's there. Answer: nothing too exciting, and more a park than a garden, but now I have the satisfaction of knowing. I've conquered the unknown.
Sports operate mostly the same way. It would be boring if people just told us what the score was, we want to know by watching the game and seeing how it plays out, thus providing ourselves the experience of conquering the unknown. Most baseball games, unfortunately, get boring because the results are known (or are assumed to be known) after a certain score is achieved or a team goes ahead by enough runs. But on the night of October 29, 2017, nothing was known about the game until the final score: 13-12, in 10 innings. If there's anything that can be gathered about the game, it's that score: baseball games never go 12-12. Even if one team scores 12 runs (very unlikely), the other team almost never scores exactly 12 too.....it's usually a blowout, like 12-1, 12-2. What was also unique about this game was how many ties there were: one team jumped out to a lead, and the other tried to come-from-behind, the most exciting type of game. In any sports game, one team takes the lead, and unless you're a diehard fan of the other team, your competitiveness and thirst for a good game wants the losing team to come from behind and catch up to make it exciting, because in a tie game or something close to it, there's a thrill of not knowing who's going to win, especially in the game of anticipation, baseball.
And now, even though the Dodgers are down 3-2, the World Series heads back to Los Angeles for a game (maybe 2!), and the unknown of what might happen on Tuesday (Halloween night!) will drive fans crazy wanting to known. Enjoy!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
World Series ( ワールドシリーズ) and おなら
For the second straight year, the city that I'm currently living/working in is hosting the World Series. And if the 2016 Chicago Cubs was any indication, the millions of (newly indoctrinated, it seems like) Los Angeles Dodgers fans will be very very happy in less than a week. Living in a city that is part of a World Series is exciting, there is a buzz in the air every day that you can sense through conversations on public transportation, the amount of sports gear that people are wearing (still not very many in L.A., to be honest, people gotta be stylish), radio reports, lunch conversations at the company breakroom, mass quantities of people gathering at the stadium and blocking up traffic hours before the game even begins, and the amount of people stuffed into bars during game time to witness the event. I personally avoided all the hype in Chicago last year, but bars were charging $200-$300 cover just to get INTO the bars and be part of the festive atmosphere of rooting for the Cubs with other crazy drunk fans. There's really nothing like celebrating a World Championship though and the thrill of the victory parade embracing a city though. Dodgers fans, more than the spoiled Lakers fans who had many years of consecutive success that it got a little dull, deserve this: Dodgers haven't won the World Series in many fans' lifetimes, just like Chicago.
A World Series game or bar showing the game would be an excellent place to let go of a loud, unadulterated fart, or onara in Japanese. 65,000 screaming fans at Dodger Stadium, open air to the natural confines of Chavez Ravine so the fart wouldn't contaminate the air, etc. It's becoming a troubling issue for me, the increased occurrence of farts, or the need to do so. I used to have excellent "butt control" for farts to restrain them and force them back down, but recently they've become more widespread and dangerous, like wildfires spreading in the Southern California mountains.
Embarrassing situations recently where I've farted:
1.) While running: it's becoming the number 1 time when my body feels loose and ready to emit all the toxins and gases it's built up over the day. It's not fun, though, to be running and let out an audible "pfff" just as I'm passing a fellow pedestrian.
2.) In an elevator when I think I'm alone, but suddenly the doors open and in walks an unsuspecting fellow occupier of the building. There's only one real culprit: the secrecy and feeling of being alone backfires as a telltale sign that I'm the culprit.
3.) In an air conditioned car: at least you can roll the windows down.
4.) In the bathroom with no music playing, and you know other people are occupying the bathroom. (Louis CK the comedian did a funny skit about this). Everyone knows what's going on, but it's still awkward enough to avoid eye contact.
5.) I've gotten too used to MJ being around that I've let my guard down and farted in front of her too many times without trying to hold back. Every time I do it, I feel like a little bit of her ever-lasting respect for me dies. (As I write this, MJ farted while sleeping next to me. So maybe she can read my mine and subconsciously gets some revenge on me by doing the same).
6.) A couple times in my life I've had to restrain myself so hard to suppress a fart that someone asked if I was OK, and other times when I try to restrain the fart the stomach growls almost as loud as a fart, like an internal bomb going off that's barely covered by the outer skin layer.
7.) Getting up into an airplane can REALLY cause stomach queasiness and farting. I recommend not eating too much before getting on a flight, and it's the worst place to get caught farting: everyone knows it's you, and there's no where to escape the shame.
How to cure farts? Pretty obvious to avoid oily or fatty foods and eat more salads and such, but also not eating at random times: midnight snacking is REALLY conducive to "getting gassy," as MJ and I refer to it as.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
A World Series game or bar showing the game would be an excellent place to let go of a loud, unadulterated fart, or onara in Japanese. 65,000 screaming fans at Dodger Stadium, open air to the natural confines of Chavez Ravine so the fart wouldn't contaminate the air, etc. It's becoming a troubling issue for me, the increased occurrence of farts, or the need to do so. I used to have excellent "butt control" for farts to restrain them and force them back down, but recently they've become more widespread and dangerous, like wildfires spreading in the Southern California mountains.
Embarrassing situations recently where I've farted:
1.) While running: it's becoming the number 1 time when my body feels loose and ready to emit all the toxins and gases it's built up over the day. It's not fun, though, to be running and let out an audible "pfff" just as I'm passing a fellow pedestrian.
2.) In an elevator when I think I'm alone, but suddenly the doors open and in walks an unsuspecting fellow occupier of the building. There's only one real culprit: the secrecy and feeling of being alone backfires as a telltale sign that I'm the culprit.
3.) In an air conditioned car: at least you can roll the windows down.
4.) In the bathroom with no music playing, and you know other people are occupying the bathroom. (Louis CK the comedian did a funny skit about this). Everyone knows what's going on, but it's still awkward enough to avoid eye contact.
5.) I've gotten too used to MJ being around that I've let my guard down and farted in front of her too many times without trying to hold back. Every time I do it, I feel like a little bit of her ever-lasting respect for me dies. (As I write this, MJ farted while sleeping next to me. So maybe she can read my mine and subconsciously gets some revenge on me by doing the same).
6.) A couple times in my life I've had to restrain myself so hard to suppress a fart that someone asked if I was OK, and other times when I try to restrain the fart the stomach growls almost as loud as a fart, like an internal bomb going off that's barely covered by the outer skin layer.
7.) Getting up into an airplane can REALLY cause stomach queasiness and farting. I recommend not eating too much before getting on a flight, and it's the worst place to get caught farting: everyone knows it's you, and there's no where to escape the shame.
How to cure farts? Pretty obvious to avoid oily or fatty foods and eat more salads and such, but also not eating at random times: midnight snacking is REALLY conducive to "getting gassy," as MJ and I refer to it as.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, October 23, 2017
따돌림 (Bullying)
Bullying, unfortunately, is present everywhere. It's present in classrooms, on playgrounds, it's present in America, in Europe, in Asia. It's not just constrained among kids, they just bully people because they don't know any better. Adults know better but they still bully other people.
Definition:
use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
It's the use of superiority to bully other people. Different levels of power exist anywhere, not just at school. Look at our presidency and major leaders in Hollywood, just as an example. Employers have power over employees, police officers have power over regular citizens (false arrests), Hollywood producers using their power to coerce female actresses into doing things they don't want to do. it exists at every level of society. It's one of the easiest things to do when one gets power: abuse it by exerting that power on others, whether it's because you were the victim of the same kind of power abuse before, you secretly enjoy it, whatever the cause. Adults should know better; kids bully because they are not conscious of doing it, and are insecure themselves, and a variety of other developmental issues, etc., but kids bullying other kids is one of the most underrated issues never to hit the national media, it doesn't appear in headlines, it doesn't show up in trendy videos or campaign speeches because kids don't vote and don't have their voice heard as much as adults, which makes it that much scarier.
Recently Burger King (of all companies, Burger King) released an ad in which a 10-year-old (or so) is bullied by his friends at a Burger King, and adult customers in the store are monitored to see if they do anything about the bullying. Unfortunately, many don't. If I saw bullying at a restaurant, I'm not sure I would intervene neither. Laws in this country disincentive people from stepping into other people's business, there's been situations where good people try to help but end up doing more harm than good, or like parents step in and wonder why you're trying to effect their child. Unfortunately it's a lot up to kids, and there's a ton of bullying in schools that adults don't know about. When kids are sent to school, whether it be elementary, middle, or high school, they're going into a prison-like environment where the kids are the inmates, and there's only a certain amount of guards (teachers) to make sure bullying doesn't happen, and even if the teachers see it they don't necessarily handle it correctly. Or the kids just disregard the teachers. As a bullied kid at school, it's one of the scariest things to be the one getting picked on. The bullies always seem to be more popular and well liked by others (where is where they get that source of power, knowing that they have more social standing than others so it's a power trip. And finally, finally, when you've been bullied your whole life and finally get some power over someone, you want to use that power too......it's so tempting, and it takes every ounce of willpower and a mature person who knows better to not turn into the monster yourself. It's a vicious cycle, bullying is, and the only way to break it is to try to reverse the trend by not bullying others, and hopefully that kindness is passed in reverse towards the initiators of bullying.
As a victim of bullying, I wish and hope to be able to address the swept-under-the-rug issue of bullying in schools, whether it's as a teacher in the future, or as a volunteer, or someone with influence over the educational system, or even as a parent hoping to prevent my own child from being bullied.......adults tend to forget about bullying when we've outgrown it (even though there are forms of bullying in adult life too), but it affects everyone and must be addressed adequately.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Definition:
use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
It's the use of superiority to bully other people. Different levels of power exist anywhere, not just at school. Look at our presidency and major leaders in Hollywood, just as an example. Employers have power over employees, police officers have power over regular citizens (false arrests), Hollywood producers using their power to coerce female actresses into doing things they don't want to do. it exists at every level of society. It's one of the easiest things to do when one gets power: abuse it by exerting that power on others, whether it's because you were the victim of the same kind of power abuse before, you secretly enjoy it, whatever the cause. Adults should know better; kids bully because they are not conscious of doing it, and are insecure themselves, and a variety of other developmental issues, etc., but kids bullying other kids is one of the most underrated issues never to hit the national media, it doesn't appear in headlines, it doesn't show up in trendy videos or campaign speeches because kids don't vote and don't have their voice heard as much as adults, which makes it that much scarier.
Recently Burger King (of all companies, Burger King) released an ad in which a 10-year-old (or so) is bullied by his friends at a Burger King, and adult customers in the store are monitored to see if they do anything about the bullying. Unfortunately, many don't. If I saw bullying at a restaurant, I'm not sure I would intervene neither. Laws in this country disincentive people from stepping into other people's business, there's been situations where good people try to help but end up doing more harm than good, or like parents step in and wonder why you're trying to effect their child. Unfortunately it's a lot up to kids, and there's a ton of bullying in schools that adults don't know about. When kids are sent to school, whether it be elementary, middle, or high school, they're going into a prison-like environment where the kids are the inmates, and there's only a certain amount of guards (teachers) to make sure bullying doesn't happen, and even if the teachers see it they don't necessarily handle it correctly. Or the kids just disregard the teachers. As a bullied kid at school, it's one of the scariest things to be the one getting picked on. The bullies always seem to be more popular and well liked by others (where is where they get that source of power, knowing that they have more social standing than others so it's a power trip. And finally, finally, when you've been bullied your whole life and finally get some power over someone, you want to use that power too......it's so tempting, and it takes every ounce of willpower and a mature person who knows better to not turn into the monster yourself. It's a vicious cycle, bullying is, and the only way to break it is to try to reverse the trend by not bullying others, and hopefully that kindness is passed in reverse towards the initiators of bullying.
As a victim of bullying, I wish and hope to be able to address the swept-under-the-rug issue of bullying in schools, whether it's as a teacher in the future, or as a volunteer, or someone with influence over the educational system, or even as a parent hoping to prevent my own child from being bullied.......adults tend to forget about bullying when we've outgrown it (even though there are forms of bullying in adult life too), but it affects everyone and must be addressed adequately.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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