One of my favorite Japanese proverbs is "Onaji ana no mujina," or badgers in the same hole. Badgers are a notoriously deceptive animal in Japanese lore, and usually associated with performing bad deeds or even criminal behavior, so it's usually a negative nuance attached to it like "thick as thieves," differentiating it from the pretty neutral "birds of a feather flock together."
I recently got a jaywalking ticket in downtown Los Angeles (of all things, jaywalking!) for starting to walk into a crosswalk while the light was flashing red and not the white "walk" sign. A very arcane and rarely enforced rule, I was so surprised and bewildered when the police officer stopped me and asked for my driver's license. There are so many people in L.A. who begin crossing on the red flashing sign like I did, yet I was unlucky (and oblivious enough) to get caught by what was essentially a jaywalking sting operation (the officer was there to hand out jaywalking tickets and caught 3 more people on the sidewalk in the time I took to even sort out the confusion).
The fine was just under $200 (!) I decided to fight the ticket, which led me to Metropolitan courthouse (conveniently located near my home) and arrived at the scheduled court time........only to find about 70 people waiting for the same courthouse to open, all with varying traffic violations that they wished to fight (or plead guilty to and pay the fine and just get the hell out of there). I felt as close to going into jail that I ever hope to be, ushered like cattle into a small room functioning as a courthouse with other people who had committed traffic violations, forced by the police officer running the proceedings to sit in a row of chairs so tight it was impossible to move without touching one's neighbor. It really felt like we were snuggled up like badgers in the same hole, caught with nowhere to go.
After an hour of sitting waiting for everyone else's cases to be processed, the arraignment judge finally got out of his chambers, like the Man Behind the Curtain in the Wizard of Oz. What followed was a 40 hour blitz of why those of us in the courtroom were inferior species to him and deserved to suffer. Phones were not allowed. Reading material was not allowed, the judge wanted everyone's full attention on him at all times. The judge in a full hour of talking never smiled once, never changed expression really, and never stuttered or used any "um's or ah's...." really pretty impressive, like a drill sargeant barking out orders. (He actually used the words "do an about face" during his speech). The judge made us feel like we had made the worst decisions of our lives, that we couldn't worm our way out of the horrible crimes that we committed, only by changing our behavior on the road would we ever be absolved of our crimes. "You are here to prevent you from ending up in the HOSPITAL OR THE MORGUE!" Fire and Fury! (from Game of Thrones and Donald Trump) was all I could think of in my head. Really, some of these people were guilty of having forgotten their driver's license at home, or not having a taillight fixed, and in my case being 3 seconds late walking into a crosswalk, yet here we were all listening for 40 minutes about how we MUST pay the fine for our miserable deeds because the courts could attach a lien to a judgment against us. (I mean, some people had a $35 fine, I think they'll be able to pay.....?)
I think personally that the whole episode was meant to scare us common folk into pleading guilty and just paying the fine. The judge was clearly pro-law enforcement indicating that we had no excuses and law enforcement must have had a good reason to stop us and pull us over, and honestly if I knew my trial would be in front of this judge I would have pleaded guilty then and there. Luckily this was just the arraignment and I was just scheduling my case to another time, but unluckily it took four hours just to say "plead not guilty." Something about the court system is really screwed up and distorted, really, when a 3 second mishap about an arcane rule can lead to 4 hours of just sitting around listening to a ranting judge literally judging us for our behavior, and that's just the arraignment stage! Anyone would crack and just pay the fine, but the fine is hundreds of dollars! Just totally encouraging a donation to law enforcement and the government. There's something wrong about that for the common person. It's just so hard to be a common person, trying to go about your day and then getting hit with a fine or violation that you need to fight in court that takes hours to go through the processing. we may be badgers from the same hole but even badgers deserve fair treatment.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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