Ever since the pandemic began and lockdown officially began, I've had feelings of being in self-imposed prison: I lock myself at home and stay there all day doing work, never leaving the home. It's a form of prison that society imposes on us: we need to do the work or not get paid, and not getting paid and having no money is not really an option. But then I watch a Netflix series like "Unlocked: A Jail Experiment," and it becomes very clear how much worse real prison is and how terrible I would be in prison.
I've visited prisons before: Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, Alcatraz in San Francisco, and Kilmainhaim Gaol in Ireland: all turned into tourist attractions, so none of the bad smell, none of the punishments, none of the actually being there day in and day out with no vacations. The first thing I would hate about jail is the confined spaces: jails are narrow, the rooms are tiny, and you're sharing bathrooms with lots and lots of other people. You're reading the blog of a guy who used to not care that much about bathrooms, but has gotten used to my own bathroom and the convenience of it as well as the cleanliness of it that I no longer brush off using public restrooms like it's no problem: I actively try to avoid it as much as I can. People are pretty disgusting, which brings up the second problem of being in a prison: the prison are pretty bad. The "Unlocked" series tries to humanize some of the inmates and let them talk directly to the camera like giving a confessional on Survivor, but then you realize these people are being locked up for domestic violence, drugs, gang activity, and major felonies even murder. As much as some of them are OK and Hollywood has glorified certain inmates like in "The Shawshank Redemption" and Michael Clarke Duncan's character in the "Green Mile," most of inmates have some serious problems and are a danger to others. Fights happen all the time just because someone doesn't like the way you look or talk, or you're part of the wrong "gang," or you took someone's spot. As much as I try to say the right thing and have good social awareness, I still do talk a lot and often would run afoul of someone's sensitivities. Third worst thing is not being able to go anywhere! I saw some chess sets and books in the prison series, but that collection was really insuffiicent. And no cell phones! I think most people in this generation would agree it would be a good interent detox for a few days, but then you'd start really missing knowing what's out there in the world, easy access to talking to other people. I think if you put some of today's youth in jail but promised food and water and basic amenities PLUS unlimited internet and wifi on a cell phone, some would be OK with that.
The worst part of prison, though, for me, is the masculine energy of challenging each other to physical confrontations. Perhaps because I'm weak and never fought anyone in my life, but the masculine thing of needing to settle things by fighting is deeply ingrained in the males, and every conflict is approached with the nuclear threat of "I'll beat your ass." To me it's a very primative way of deciding who's right in a situation or even conflict resolution, but there's still a large swath of the population who never went to college and are not amenable to having debates or settling something with words; they'll resort to fighting, and much like fighting in pre-civilized societies, it's usually the biggest or the most violent/quickest who win fights. I'd lose every single time and be on the bottom rung. It's sad but true: many men, even those who are very very educated, crave that sort of phyiscal confrontation and as an outlet. That's why UFC, which just had its landmark UFC 300 event this past weekend, is so popular and can afford to make its best fighters millionaires: even sports are not enough to quench the male thirst for competition and combat; it isn't just settled on the field now, it has to be settled in a ring or cage and end with one person standing victorious over the other. That's what wins for men, and what wins in prison. Keep me away from that life as much as possible. Prison? No thank you.
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