Massage gun

 Of all the devices in our home right now, it's our cell phones that rank as No.1, but No. 2 might go to something not everyone uses: the massage gun. Evidence #6818 that humans are being replaced by machines: even my massages that I give to MJ are not enough; she went out and bought a massage gun. It makes sense though, and I can see why employers around the world are resorting to AI, robots, or some sort of technology to do tasks that humans used to do: Machines don't complain, they don't take breaks, they don't demand wage increases, they don't go on strike, they don't take sick days, they don't need to eat, they don't have emotions. They just do what they're supposed to do. And generally they don't make errors, although there are glitches and malfunctions, so at least for humans they can articulate what the problem is and communicate any solutions, machines could go out of service. But yes that's the problem with humans: we have so many flaws. Machines are so much more efficient, so much less maintenance, so much less dealing with other humans. I find myself often infuriated with and disappointed with humans nowadays as I enter my "old geezer mode"- I see people driving cars who have no business driving cars based on their irresponsible behavior, I see people on the streets begging for money to fund their drug addictions, I know people who I try to call who will never answer the phone, only answering by text or email if they feel like it, sometimes not even that, you know like the original functions of phones as a communication device to communicate with other human beings. I have so many complaints about people! No wonder our friends are everyone's new best friends. 

And massage guns are another new friend that MJ and I can turn to: press a button and it's at our service, no having to buy it dinner, setting a time that is compatible for both parties, risk of cancellation: hit a button and it's ready to go. And it does such a good consistent job: the design of the gun is really slick and easy for holding it in my hand, and it's powered by lithium battery, so no need to change batteries all the time, it's just ready to go, and it can soothe MJ and satisfy her needs much better than I can: I can only do massages and rotate my hands at about 70 rotations per minute (not measured at all, just a guess) while the machine just has a consistent vibration. I've had a knot or some sort of herniated disc in my back for a while now; the massage gun is happy to assist. The massage gun dunks on me consistently in my inferiority as a human because it can keep going forever, but I have to stop and take breaks while holding the gun to MJ's back (or wherever she needs it, nowadays it's the butt because she has to self-inject every morning) because my muscles are sore, while I can see the machine getting antsy and looking at its clock wondering when the heck the puny human is going to be ready to resume working. All our jobs are doomed. It's just a matter of when and how soon humans can create some sort of wealth-accumulating practice that doesn't require jobs, we're just output consumers.