Parallell Parking

How do people who know how to parallell park do it so well? I don't understand it. One of the hardest things to do in life, next to solving the Rubix Cube and whistling for me. Whistling, I think, is never happening for me due to a genetic predisposition and the Rubix Cube is more of an intellectual exercise that I don't have the mental capacity for (or at least the spacial dimensions for), but PARALLELL PARKING!!!! URG!!! That should be me! I actually know how to drive! I'm aware of my surroundings! I check my blind spots!! What am I doing wrong?

Some problems with parallell parking:
1. First of all, I'm bad at guess-timating spaces. Lot of spaces to me seem big when I pass by them, so I slam on the brakes and start backing in, but all of a sudden the spot has shrunk; as I start backing in I realize I'm screwed; time to abort. Time wasted. Damn it!

2 . The exact reverse is also true. I'm so worried about picking a spot that's too small that I BYPASS spots that are sufficient; I go to a much-worse spot geographically and get serious buyer's remorse when I see the gigantic Air Force One hangar of a spot that I passed up. Damn it!

3. Stopping in the middle of the road to back in: especially on a busy street, with people right on my butt tailgating me, no matter how much notice I give, people still get real cranky when I stop for a spot. PLUS if I'm backing in, I'm always afraid my FRONT veers into the OTHER lane and I'll hit somebody. Damn it!

4. Seeing a cream-of-the crop spot open up a couple blocks away, but watching helplessly at a red light whilst your dream spot gets swiped away by another parking vulture. Happened to me last week; cursed myself repeatedly and slammed anything I could get my hands on. Hard. My steering wheel still hates me for it. Damn it!

5. getting into a spot successfully but then finding out the spot has street sweeping during that time, or is only one-hour parking while you need four, or is temporarily "NO PARKING" for the day. L.A. is famous for that. Damn it!

6. Saved the best (worst for last): actually backing into the spot. You next to the car in front, you start backing in, turn furiously just when you pass the other car, start to turn back....BAM. Hit the curb. Head still miles from being straight. No chance. Other car behind you getting restless. Knees week; palms are sweaty; you look like a worse and worse driver by the second. Happened to me countless number of times, lemme tell you. I swear, it would be a LOT better if I had a trunk cam letting me know exactly how far I am from the curb/ how far I am from the car behind, (which our family's 2009 Nissan has but NOOOOOOO....I don't get to drive that car). It's getting to be slightly embarrassing. Do I have to go to the local school parking lot on a weekend and bust out the orange cones???? Really? Has it come to that???? Really?

Hope you enjoyed that. Next time I do a random rant like this, I'll talk about something more interesting.....like bikram yoga. Or parkhour. Or dognapping. Something.

These are the players I'm starting on a bye-heavy Week 10 for my I-really-actually-care-about-this-fantasy-team team: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Jeremy Maclin, Pierre Garcon, Mike Goodson, Donald Brown, Lee Evans, and the Tennessee Defense. If you told me that'd be my lineup at the beginning of the season, I woulda told you to shoot myself in the face.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Guru's Gutsy Guesses Week 10

Guru went a devastating (OUCH!) 4-7 last week (didn't count the NYG game as Hasselbeck declared out after my post was published, and pushed on CHI- BUFF. Now a very mediocre 35-30 record. Ew. That's like a 40-degree day: Not memorable at all. (Wire reference).

Admittedly, I was soundly beaten by Brother Mouzone, who's reportedly doing very well in Bill Simmons Pick'em League. The best of luck to him; he's really got a beat on the NFL and I'm (almost) jealous. I feel like I'm playing a game I don't understand, like trying to figure out where I'm going without a map (or GPS navigation) (or an I-Phone app). Sigh. Here's my last, valiant attempt at guessing games, with Brother Mouzone's (far superior) picks soon to follow in the comments.

Even Brother hinted that this week was one of the harder weeks he's come across.... If he's anticipating a hard time, it'll be like cutting wood with a butter knife for me.

1.) Baltimore +1 at Atlanta: First game and I'm already stumped. Ravens are one of the top 2 or 3 teams in the league, and they play UP to their competition (translation: pick them when they face good opponents, pick against them when they face bad ones ---- I think).

2.) Indianapolis -7 v. Cincinnatti: The Bengals' last gasp came Monday night at home: Time to mail it in, I believe. Colts actually desperate need every win they can get at 6-3.

3.) Jacksonville -1.5 v. Houston: Arian Foster is sick. Unfortunately they're on the road against a rested Jaguars squad who have one of the most reliable kickers (Scobee) for last-game situations and Schaub is not right.

4.) Tennessee -1 at Miami: I don't care about the addition of Randy, the Titans were better before that. Miami's good but just a step below the best teams. Also, can you believe the Dolphins haven't won at home yet?.......This is intriguing matchup too because will be victim to AFC's logjam of good teams.

5.) Chicago +1 v. Minnesota: Muddled amongst the Vikings' comeback win last week was the fact that they didnt' look very good. I don't like them and have no faith in them; but I have even less faith in my hometown Bears. In a battle of teams I don't like, I took the underdog and home team.

6.) Detroit +3 at Buffalo: I guess people think the Lions are really bad at home, but laying 3 to a winless team? The way they gave the Jets a run last Sunday? I think it's got a lot to do w/ whether Shaun Hill plays Sunday...........this bet might get pushed because who knows about the QB?

7.) NYJ -3 at Cleveland. Sigh. Browns, can you REALLY beat 2 top AFC East teams in a row?

8.) Tampa -6.5 v. Carolina: When I think Panthers I think: greasefire.

9.) Kansas City -1 at Denver: To all those who think the Chiefs are a "different team on the road," they put up a heck of a fight against an equally scrappy team in Oakland. I'm not worried about back-to-back overtimes.

10.) St. Louis +6 at SF: Seems like a lot of points for the Rams; can't give the Niners credit enough to win, much less cover.

11.) Arizona -3 v. Seattle: Irony that Seattle dominated this matchup 3 weeks ago but are underdogs now, huh? Derek Anderson showing a sliver of accuracy recently.

12.) Dallas +14 at NY Giants: Am I crazy? Maybe. But maybe the Cowboys get energized with a new coach. Maybe talent actually shows up. Maybe the Giants think they can just walk all over the 'Boys. Maybe the Giants DO walk all over the 'boys but like last time Dallas does work in garbage time. There's a lot of room for "maybes" between 0 and 14 NFL points.

13.) Pittsburgh -4.5 v. New England: As tough as the Patriots have been on the Steelers in the past, this is a different season and a different Pats team that shows more "Patsy" on defense than Patriots, what with gaping holes everywhere and whatnot.

14.) Philadelphia -3 at Washington: the Redskins desperately need this, and they're coming off a bye, and they beat the Eagles last time. But something tells me Philly is the class of the NFC this year.

C'mon, picks, one last gasp of air before I put a fork in myself!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Guru's Gutsy Guesses Week 9

Similar to Cousin Sal challenging The Sports Guy (Bill Simmons for those of you who don't read ESPN articles religiously), a law school compadre of mine (let's call him Brother Mouzone for sake of a wire reference) has challenged the Guru on his Gutsy Guesses and will (supposedly) be posting his own picks in the comments. Brother Mouzone talks a big game, claiming he went 12-1 last week (missing just the Jets-Packers outcome, I mean seriously who woulda guessed the Jets would get goose-egged right?) and "averages about 8-5 every week." Riiiiight......

For the record, I was 7-6 last week and have now compiled a 31-23 record on the season, for a guessing percentage of roughly 58%. Big week, gotta learn from my mistakes, like these:

A. Dallas is BAD and can't stop anyone's air attack. Should DEFINITELY have listened to my own advice (bail on those talented but bad teams) and taken the Jags.
B. AFC teams > NFC teams....generally.
C. First decide who might win the game......THEN let the points come into play.

Anyway, without further ado, the 5th edition of Guru's Gutsy Guesses (again, not advocating gambling, people) **** Btw, the team that is listed first is my pick, just to clarify.

1. Buffalo +3 at Chicago.......The Bears had a week to rest here, and the Bills are WINLESS......Will Ryan Fitzpatrick lead them to their first victory here? The Bills have really done a good job for me putting up a fight against good teams to cover the spreads, so I'll stay with them here.

2. Houston +3 v. San Diego.........Word coming out now is Antonio Gates will probably miss this game w/ an injury, which might shift the line to like +2 or +1. Regardless, I'll take the Texans: San Diego hasn't won on the road yet and lost to KC, Oakland, and St. Louis.......Houston's probably better than any of those others.

3. Carolina +6.5 v. New Orleans.......Call me crazy (or underdog-happy), but the Saints just ARE NOT that impressive, and after a huge emotional victory @ home v. Pittsburgh this is perfect opportunity to have a letdown. Panthers are a home dog (you know what they say about home dogs = pick them) and have a history of playing the Saints close.

4. Arizona +9 @ Minnesota...........I'm gonna curse myself again (the last 3 weeks I've called a "sure-bet game" and lost every single one of them), but this has to be the best bet of the week.....Vikings just lost Randy Moss, Brett Favre's about to die, Brad Childress doesn't know where he is, the secondary...what secondary? ......the Vikings shouldn't be a nine-point favorite against ANYBODY, and the Cards aren't that bad, although they do have problems covering on the road. Still, I like them here, especially if the Derek Anderson-Larry Fitzgerald combo keeps clicking.

5. Tampa Bay +8.5 @ Atlanta: Classic case, I think, of more hyped-up team giving up too many points........Bucs are quitely (Shhhhh) o so quietly turning into a very legit, young team (dare I compare them to the Tennessee Titans?), and it's not like the Falcons routinely blow people out....This is my 2nd-most confident pick.

6. NYJ -4 @ Detroit: I read somewhere that out of the last 5 years Detroit is one of the WORST teams against the spread (there were a couple one-win, 3-win seasons in there, so yea, that figures). This is a different team. And Yes, Ndamokon Suh is a beast. But I'm gonna go with my AFC > NFC rule here.

7. Miami +5.5 @ Baltimore. Just a tough, bruising dogfight here. Miami hangs with Pittsburgh, beats the Bengals soundly, beats the Packers on the road. Feels like a late-second field goal.

8. New England -4.5 at Cleveland: The Patriots are the anti-Detroit: consistently cover like nobody's business. The loss of Randy Moss made them better, seriously it did cuz they brought back an all-business guy: Deion Branch. Last time I checked, Colt McCoy was still the Browns' QB, right?

9. Seattle +6.5 v. NY Giants: I think this week should officially be called the "Home Dog" week. EVERY matchup has a home dog!!!!! Classic case of a team going to the Pacific Northwest, something about the mist/ the fog, the rainy weather/the different time zones always confuse East Coast teams, even after supposedly a well-rested bye.

10. Kansas City +2.5 @ Oakland: I've gone back and forth on this pick. Seems as though the Black Hole is unfriendly for visiting teams and fuels the Raiders. Like Brother Mouzone suggested to me, Matt Cassel is NOT good, but would your rather have Jason Campbell? I wouldn't. The thing is, if Raiders get out to an early lead, I LOVE the Raiders (w/ Darren McFadden). But if the Raiders go down early, I HATE the Raiders (Jason Campbell leading your comeback charge? Uh-uh).

11. Indy +3 at Philadelphia: Brother Mouzone and I got into a heated exchange about this matchup: Yes, Indy is coming off Monday Night Football, it's black and blue from all the injuries, and it's on the road in Philly, where Michael Vick awaits and can shred the run defense. But Indy's just one of those teams you consistently pick, and I don't think many people have made a living picking AGAINST Peyton Manning.

12. Green Bay -8 v. Dallas. Curse you, Dallas. Picking against you out of spite.

13. Cincinnati +5 v. Pittsburgh. Bengals are always tough on the Steelers, I like the Home Dog that desperately needs it, although I will probably not pick the Bengals again after this game.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan
(Your turn, Brother)

Guru's Gutsy Guesses Week 8

Trying this one more time. An abysmal 6-8 record last week puts the YTD (year-to-date) mark at 24-17 (just shy of the 60% mark).

Here's the latest picks:

1. Denver +2 v. San Francisco: Forget what you saw last Sunday, when Darren McFadden ran through the swiss cheese Denver defense to the tune of 4 scores. Denver's a mediocre team, but the Niners are just inept; too bad they can't carry over some of that SF Giants magic. I'll relish in getting the extra 2 points too.

2. Dallas -6.5 v. Jacksonville: have the Cowboys covered ONCE this season? And when was the last time Jon Kitna started an NFL game? But you gotta like the Cowboys in this one, and when the Jags lose, they lose BIG.

3. Washington +2.5 at Detroit: Redskins LOVE to be the underdog. I don't buy Matt Stafford throwing 3 TD's or being the second coming of the Savior in Detroit... I think he struggles in his first game back.

4. Green Bay +6 v. NY Jets: I like that if the Pack is down late, I got Aaron Rodgers for me to try to cover.

5. St. Louis -3 v. Carolina: How in the world should I know who to pick? I DO know that the Rams have firmly established a Ram's Lair home field advantage.

6. Miami +1.5 at Cincinatti: The unraveling of the Bengals season starts here.

7. Buffalo +7.5 at KC: I don't think people understand how good Ryan Fitzpatrick is. Man went to HARVARD, people!! He's smart? Doesn't hurt that he can get it quickly out to any of his WR's at a moment's notice. I LOVE that you get a TD cushion here.

8. Tennessee +3.5 at San Diego: I hesistate to say "this is the best best of the week" cuz I said that about SF-Carolina and Pittsburgh-Cleveland and lost both times, but I just can't fathom this line. It's a 5-2 team v. a 2-5 team, the 5-2 team looking like the obviously better team the first few weeks even against really good competition, and the 2-5 team is literally fumbling their season away, and has the worst special teams in NFL history probably (and possibly the worst head coach in history too). It's naught but pure stats (Chargers have #1-ranked offense and perceived awesome talent) that make the Chargers favorites, but at some point you gotta realize that it's not a fluke that they're losing all these games.

9. Tampa Bay +3 at Arizona: I changed my pick midway through this sentence. I thought it was classic case of Cardinals being world-killers at home, not looking like they've ever touched a football on the road. But Max Hall looked awful in Seattle, and Josh Freeman looked pretty good in leading his team back. When in doubt, pick the team w/ the better QB.

10. Seattle +2.5 at Oakland: Another not very good team v. not very good team matchup. Haven't really watched these teams at all this year, besides both gashing the Chargers. Seems like classic letdown game for the Raiders.

11. New England -6 v. Minnesota: I think the mistake that I've made consistenly so far this season is betting on struggling teams (think Dallas, San Diego, Minnesota) will come back strong because 1. they're talented 2. they made the playoffs last year, so they have to this year too, right? and 3. flashy, hyped up players on their teams lure me into it. Ultimately, though, a rotten egg is probably rotten for a reason, and I gotta give up on some of'em......until they prove me wrong.

12. Pittsburgh +1 at New Orleans: One last gasp for the defending champs on the national stage with everyone rooting for them. I again changed my pick midway through this post. Something is just wrong w/ the Saints; they've lost to bad teams and eked out wins over other bad teams. So what happens when they actually play a good team? I'll take the best team in the NFL right now AND a single point (which is what the Steelers won by last week to foil my bet).

13. Indianapolis -5.5 v. Houston: General rule of thumb: Don't bet against Peyton Manning at night. Only an idiot would do that.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Week 7 picks

After an amazing 10-3-1 record (the Indy-Washington game pushed cuz Indy won by exactly 3) last week picking games AGAINST THE SPREAD, Da Man is now a whopping 18-9-1 on the season picking games. That'll make you money anywhere you bet it, folks. That's why I'm starting to call my picks "Guru's Gutsy Guesses." Making it a tradition.

Gotta admit, it feels good to be winning your picks against the spread. No lie, at one point LATE in the noon games last week, I was right on ALL of my picks. There were NINE games going on, and I had them ALL correct, it was like 12:45PM Pacific time, 2 hours 45 minutes into the games. Then Pittsburgh scored easily on another exclamation-point touchdown, and New England tied Baltimore to go to overtime and eventually won it on a FG, so I lost those. But woooo, imagine that! A nine-game parlay pays out something ridiculous like $100,000 on a $100 bet, imagine if I woulda parlayed that! (In parlays, you need to win ALL your games to actually win......if any of your 9 bets, let's say, loses, you lose).

Regardless, You should be betting (not advocating that, but if you are, this is the site you should be following) with the Guru's Gutsy Guesses cuz the Guru's hot. Here's the picks this week:


1.) Pittsburgh -3 at Miami: Like I said last week about the Miami Defense, I doubt the iron gladiators of Pittsburgh care whether they're at home or away, so basically this game boils down to who's better. As great as Miami looked last week upsetting the Packers in Green Bay (and covering for the Guru), they're not as good as Pittsburgh, who's a title contender.
Pick: Pittsburgh

2.) Atlanta -3.5 v. Cincinatti: The problem with the Bengals is like a lot of fantasy teams: Lotsa big names, not necessarily the best team. As bad as Atlanta looked against Philly, they'll be hungry at home and the defense will be opportunistic against turnover-prone Cincy.
Pick: Atlanta.

3.) Kansas City -9.5 v. Jacksonville: I'm reluctant to take anybody while laying so many points, but KC is DEFINITELY a team that feeds off its home crowd's energy, they should get 5 points for home field, not just the usual 3. Who is Todd Baumann and how many times will he get sacked by the KC D? Jaguars seem like prime candidate to lose BIG.....they do it all the time.

4.) Tennessee -3 v. Philadelphia: Toughest game for me so far to handicap......Titans coming off Monda night game, lost Vince Young, facing a really pretty good Philly team.....basically a coin flip, these two teams about the same talent-wise, also have solid coaches leading them. This is where the "gutsy" part of "Guru's Gutsy Guesses" comes into play.

5.) Washington +3 at Bears: Washington. Is. Good. Bears. Are. Struggling. I hate to say it but it's true.

6.) Saints -13 v. Browns: Saints got one last shot from the Man last week, and they responded by a 20+ point drubbing on the road. Looks like it's all board the Saints Train for awhile now.

7.) Bills +13 at Baltimore: The Ravens have a bad habit of playing down to the competition, and that looks especially true after an emotionally draining loss last week. And I do like that Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, he looks smart enough not to throw (too many) picks (or pick-6's).

8.) 49ers -3 at Carolina: The "Copy Colin Cowherd" pick of the week....this was a lock for Colin, and I saw no one I was taking the Panthers......Carolina might be one of the most atrocious teams in NFL history, Niners a middle-of-the-pack team, record-aside. And Matt Moore at QB? Phew, good luck.

9.) Bucs -3 vs. Rams: For the Rams, another let-down liability for a young team coming off a huge win over the Chargers.......same situation as the @ Lions game 2 weeks ago. The Bucs are PISSED.

10.) Arizona +6.5 at Seattle: The Seahawks getting much love this week and are very trendy, I'm gonna go contrarian on this; something tells me this game comes down to a late-second field goal. Don't let the road win in Chicago fool you; do not put all your eggs in the Seahawks basket.

11.) San Diego -2.5 v. New England. I woulda thought this line woulda been around "pick'em" or even favoring NE, but I guess most people understand how talented the Chargers are. In a dire situation at home, the Chargers finally, FINALLY, start their turnaround.

12.) Oakland +8 at Denver: This line was 7 at the beginning of the week, swung to 8 probably cuz of uncertainty of Raiders QB situation. Monitor this one: I can't believe I'm saying this, but if Bruce Gradkowski plays, I'm sure of this pick. If not, I'd stay away.

13.) Minnesota +2.5 at Green Bay: Packers are in deep, deep trouble. This game may be the straw that broke the camels' back.

14.) Dallas -3 v. NY Giants: Does desperation breed success? Regardless, I believe it'll be a shootout in Dallas, and the Cowboys have just a few more weapons.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

The Anatomy of a Fantasy Basketball Draft

A few weeks ago I covered the advantages of the Fantasy Auction Draft; and for those who choose them, enjoy- they're still my draft of choice. But that's not to say a serpentine draft is not fun as well, and the majority of fantasy drafts are conducted this way. Having amassed an inordinate amount of fantasy teams in my last 7 years, my genius conclusion is that fantasy drafts are very, VERY important. Their significance varies between 30%-60% of any fantasy season, probably on the high end of that for fantasy football, on the lower end for baseball (cuz you can save yourself more with free agents, etc. over the course of a season, and there's so many positions to fill.)

Here's the essential things you need to do before jumping into any fantasy draft:

1. Schedule your draft for an ideal time. Varies by what profession you're in, what your league members' line of work is in; your eating habits, your sleeping habits. Advice: Do NOT schedule the draft during a weekday: you will spend the rest of the week at work staring at your fantasy team.

2. Research, research, research. Worthy of another post.

3. Compile a list of players you want. I did this for my last draft.....keeps you on track and prevents you from going ape during the draft. A personal "America's Top Wanted" list.

4. Compile a list of players you DON'T want. Didn't do this, but have a mental list, an "I hate these players and I will never be burned by them ever again" list. Trust me, over the years I've compiled quote a list of these guys.

5. On the morning of the draft, have yourself a hearty breakfast.

6. Make sure you know exactly where you're gonna be during the draft. Scout the area, see if there's wi-fi, make sure nothing can go wrong. Worst thing to do is to get ready to pick your first player and have your connection cut out. Say it with me, "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

7. Have hard copy of your draft list ready.

8. Prepare some snacks/ drinks. You're gonna be sitting there anywhere from 2 to 4 hours; might as well settle in and make sure you're equipped.

9. If your league has already disclosed a draft order, FIND OUT THAT ORDER!!!! And then prepare for it. At least know, given a certain situation, who you would pick.

10. Compile a list of players you want to take in an ideal draft. List'em out. Here was mine:


Deron Williams
Dwight Howard
Pau Gasol
Brook Lopez
Rajon Rondo
Al Jefferson
Russell Westbrook
Andrewa Bargnani
Joakim Noah
Marc Gasol
Derrick Rose
John Wall
Manu Ginobili
Kevin Love
Paul Millsap
Eric Gordon
Blake Griffin
Lamar Odom
DeMarcus Cousins
Roy Hibbert
Tyrus Thomas
Carl Landry
JaVale McGee
Andris Biedrins
Robin Lopez
James Harden
J.R. Smith
George Hill
DeJuan Blair

Also take at bottom of draft: D.J. Augustin, Beno Udrih, Aaron Afflalo (great bets based on preseason play)

Here's how my pick went.........take it as an "expert example." You know, like how an expert would draft. I drafted #8 in a 14-team head-to-head league with some USC Law colleagues. Here were the proceedings:

First round.....I know I have the 8th pick coming in. Looking at Danny Granger, Deron Williams, whoever's left. The draft goes exactly according to order, with Durant, Chris Paul, and LeBron coming off early. Mistake, if you ask me. Who the heck is LeBron. But then, in a probably-not-that-odd-for-normal-peoplebut odd for nerdy fantasy nerds like me situation, Stephen Curry goes, Kobe goes, Deron Williams goes......leaving me with Dwayne Wade, if I want him. Totally unexpected, Wade has been a fantasy god for the last several years. But do I take him over Granger? I take the full 90 seconds and decide to stick w/ my research and go with Granger. (Which, as you probably read from the Headhunter letter, I did NOT advise doing. I've ah, had a change of heart). Mr. Granger, here's to your health.

2nd round......I have the 21st pick, and I love, just LOVE, players ranked 17-20........Kidd, Nash, Brook Lopez......I really want a top-tier point guard to not have to worry about it. Then there's Rondo at 24, and there's no Celtics fans in front. Looks good, pretty sure I'll get at least one of my targets. Kidd goes after the wrap-around, Nash goes, guy at #20 right in front of me takes the full 90 seconds......and takes RONDO!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!! There goes my early-PG strategy, I HATE Monta Ellis, and think Tyreke Evans will have sophomore slump, and think it's too high anyway. Finally I settle on Andre Iguodala, someone I had not researched AT ALL before the draft. A cross-your-fingers pick.......not happy at this point.

3rd round........I had Bargnani on my list, and everyone totally ignores him. I finally get an easy round. I click and move on.

4th round.....I'm thinking either Wall, Ginobili or Love here. The previous 2 go off. But I LLLLLLOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEE love. Lots of jokes in there. I'm sure I'll disperse them over the course of this season....warm-hearted jokes if he does well, disparaging "curse-you" jokes if he sucks.

5th round.......what pick was this, #63? I took Nene here suspecting some kind of trick.....he wasn't supposed to fall this far, was he? Did he break both his legs? What happened. I decide to take and ask questions later.......If a guy goes about 30 or picks later and is still available, I say break the rules and just take him, if not for sheer value.

6th round....... still don't have a PG. Getting worried, but don't like the guys coming up like B-diddy, etc...... Don't have PG's late on my -re-arranged list..... might just wait til WAY late. I go a bit undisciplined, which I don't recommend.......take John Salmons, who hasn't played in the preseason. Might be the worst pick of my draft.


7th round......AK-47 still around. Can't resist the possible 1.6 steals and 1.6 blks.....premimum numbers. I'll be punting assists probably cuz of lack of a PG, don't want to punt steals too.

8th round.........Missed out on a bunch of the big men I had targeted.......either Robin Lopez or Andris Biedrins here. Took the Warrior, not sure if it's the right choice. Lopez a young stud who's unrivaled for big man minutes in Phoenix.

9th round...........finally snag my PG. D.J. Augustin, as planned. Don't laugh, this is well though out.....young player who is finally now a starter with plenty of opportunity.

DeJuan Blair.....is the starter in San Antonio. And he's a starter on my team. 13 and 9 is great for me. Let's go!!!!!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

The Art of Trash Talking

I am a man who appreciates trash talking.

I confess, I LOVE trash talking. I like dishing it out; I like taking it, but the most important, I like backing up my trash talking with some walking.

But sometimes people don't know how to trash talk, or WHEN to trash talk, or WHOM to trash talk to.....for those who are new at this or need a refresher course, here's some rules of trash talking to live by:

1. Do NOT trash talk after you have lost. It just causes embarassment for yourself as you no longer have a leg to stand on.

2. Trash talk about things that are not THAT serious: fantasy football matchups, poker tournaments (that have less than a $50 buy-in is the general rule), informal co-ed volleyball matches, vicariously through your sports teams (like if the bears are playing the packers, for example)

3. Be confident in your trash talking. Make the best case for yourself (or your team) and just lay it out there. Bad name for a movie, but great name for trash talking: NEVER BACK DOWN. "I see your point" or "That may be true" are never acceptable; "You're just afraid of me" and "Let me know when you're ready to concede" are generally recognized ways to end trash talking.

4. Stop trash talking when people's feelings get hurt. Don't wanna be known as THAT guy. Unless it's your archnemesis who's had your number for years. Then talk until your tongue falls off.

5. Have thick skin when trash-talking. Nothing worse than letting your sensitivty get in the way of a good trash talking session. Your opponent's gonna throw everything he/she has at you to make you break. Your ability to stay stone-faced and immune to insults is what will allow you to retort back quickly with one of your own volleys, possibly neutralizing your opponent's attempt and putting him/her on the defensive.

6. Funny nicknames are icing on the top. If the other guy has Daniel Gibson on his team, it's your duty to lob a "Boobie" joke at him. Insinuate that Chad Ochocinco should change his name to Ochostinko.

7. However enjoyable trash talking is, DON'T overboard. No personal attacks. Enjoy responsibly.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan