For some parts of the year, MJ and I have a long-distance relationship. It's not ideal, but due to work I sometimes go to other cities to work for a few weeks, possibly a month or two, depending on the situation. It's not ideal for me, neither, as I have to be away from my parents, my friends, my dodgeball teams, the great Los Angeles weather, my nice apartment in downtown LA, my own bed, and most important, MJ.
Much like most other things, it's when being in a temporary long-distance relationship that I really appreciate being together in a normal (short-distance?) relationship and seeing someone every day. It's the consistency of knowing that that person will be there every day, and a regular schedule like knowing that the train will run every day or that the sun will come up the next day. Many times MJ and I get on each other's nerves when we spend too much time together, but I think she'd agree it's still preferable over spending too little time together. When I'm alone on work trips I really miss the physical contact of holding hands or even hugging, as Koreans and Japanese call it, "skinship." I also apparently have a particular smell that MJ says reminds me of her all the time when I am away. At home, I usually have the important role of massaging MJ every night so that she is the most relaxed she can be. While I don't really react to massages well (I yelp and scream actually because I'm not use to them cuz I haven't really used them my whole life so I'm oversensitive to it, kind of like coffee), I actually have started to enjoy giving massages, as it's a way to keep my hands busy and my wife happy, so it's killing 2 birds with one stone (一石二鸟，一举两得). Mainly, though, it's just the ability to talk whenever, to talk freely to someone I trust. Sometimes I go whole days at work trips without talking much to anybody. As a human being I'm a social animal, and probably more desperate for attention and to talk to people than most, so having MJ there to at least be a receptacle for my thoughts is helpful, as I'm sure MJ agrees sometimes she just needs to vent and talk it out with someone. I'm a good listener and even better at forgetting things she tells me. When people say "keep this a secret," I say no problem, there's a good chance I'll forget it soon anyway!
Here's some ways to still be connected while in a long-distance relationship:
1.) Make videos of yourself just talking into the phone as if you're talking to the other person. This way they'll see your face and what you're doing, the background, etc. I've been doing short 2-minute or up to 5-minute videos on my walks home to talk to MJ so that she can see me and it's as if she's here with me.
2.) Go back home on long weekends. Take Monday off of work if you can, enjoy a prolonged weekend together! Especially if it's an upcoming holiday weekend like Memorial Day weekend. Those weekends in between not seeing each other for awhile are very fun because both are excited to see each other and sad to see each other go! Except last time when MJ got cranky when she picked me up from airport (cuz she doesn't sleep well!) and we had a small tussle before going to the airport
3.) Call every day or make some contact every day. Just to remind each other you're still alive and appreciated!
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