“It’s just money.” – said many tablemates who had just lost
a hand during college at underground poker tables during my times at University
of Illinois- a wild and wacky time, to say the least. At the time I was
confused by this remark as to whether to take it seriously, like a nonchalant, “I’m
playing more for pride, money is just a side factor” or a more depressing,
sullen, sarcastic “it’s just money that I’m losing, the most precious resource
in the world.” I think it’s still a debate and I wonder about the thought
process of 20-year old college kids regarding their spending habits, but over
the years I’ve gradually tended towards the latter.
Money is a difficult thing to discuss, but to me money is VERY
important. Money isn’t everything, but it’s something. Having money allows you
to not worry about money, and not having money forces you to worry about money
all the time. Money is also directly tied to the ACTUAL most important
resource, which is time. We all only have a certain amount of time here, an
expiration date. In order to make full use of that time, we would rather spend
less time trying to make money (or make more money in a smaller space of time),
and spending money sometimes equates to having to spend more time at work, or
some other money-making endeavor (excluding trust fund babies and Internet-era
startup CEOs, of course). As I grow older, I realize there are just a million
things one can spend money on (and waste money on), including car payments,
health care payments, insurance payments, rent, gas, Internet costs, cell phone
bill, food, and those are just the fixed costs. We haven’t even gotten to
discretionary or (gasp!) lavish spending. Money in itself isn’t something I’m
too worried about, but because I’m such a stickler for time and squeezing every
moment out of every day, I do worry about money. And which is why I was so down
on my most recent Mexico trip. I think in hindsight, I was a little hangry
(hungry and angry) and a little upset about a relatively low loss of finances,
but that’s more a beef of “I worked and spent time to earn that money that you’re
so callously making me spend $30 for a piece of paper for” than anything. Having
been in debt before and in real danger of not paying that back for a long time
and not making much money, I can say with unquestioned certainty that I like
being financially secure than not. I’d like to stay that way, and wasting money
in foreign countries and pieces of paper is not contributing to that goal.
Also, I want to buy a house in the near future. That will
cost money, and require a consistent stream of money for the next 30 years
after that. Sigh.
Tonight, the 0-5-3 (0 wins, 5 losses, 3 ties) House of
Ballratheon dodgeball team takes on the Kenny Dodgers at Westchester Rec Center
in a playoff matchup. I, Robert Baratheon, first of his name, king of the
Andals, am more excited about this matchup than any other dodgeball game I’ve
played in in recent history. It’s one thing that it’s a playoff game and the
accompanying “win-or-go-home” backs-against-the-wall feeling, but I’ve felt
very invested in this team, a conglomeration of players pieced together who
have gelled into a formidable opponent, despite the 0 wins in the regular
season. So many close games, so many near-misses, culminate in 50 minutes of
dodgeball action tonight. This is the reason I play dodgeball, why I play
organized sports, for games like these, and why I wish I was a professional athlete.
More than just the fame, the money, and the glory, it’s to be able to compete
in games like tonight. CAN’T WAIT.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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