Adopting a Pet

I’ve never owned any pets. I’ve owned fantasy baseball and football players that I’ve loved more than a pet (Shaun Alexander, Jimmy Rollins, etc.) But no pets in my history…….yet. My family once had a pet turtle that we kept and fed bread and spare meat, but eventually it got old and we let it go into a nearby pond. Japanese for turtle is 亀= kame.

I have always been apprehensive about dogs (I hesitate to say “scared.” Ever since my friend told me once he got bit by a dog on the chest, I was a little tentative around dogs, maybe a predisposed aversion towards them. Dog in Japanese = 犬(inu). Los Angeles is a GREAT place for dogs, I’m told, because they can always go outside, and literally every one of my neighbors has a dog or multiple dogs (I can hear them at night), but I’m not that inclined to get one. I’m told it’s a HUGE commitment to get a dog, and they cost thousands of dollars each year not to mention the care you have to put into training/walking/take the dog to the vet, so it’s not for me. For as much of a stickler as I am for time and hurrying through the day, a dog is too much work for me.

Don’t get me started on snakes (蛇 = hebi), birds(鳥 = torii), or

Goldfish (金魚

= kingyo) I could see myself getting. Like Wee Bey on the wire, I’m a fan of feeding fish and aqua tanks (not as messy and all over the place, kind of contained to one place at least). When I went to Shanghai for vacation, my friend and I spent about an hour getting fish food and fishing the fish at one of the more famous gardens (there was a koi pond).

鯉= koi.

Obviously koi is not the same as goldfish, but I do like the aspect of getting multiple fish with fish families or a “school of fish” and watching them spend their day zooming through the water. There’s a tranquility in that, a peacefulness. Btw, Hong Kong has a great goldfish market where dozens of shops concentrated in one street sell goldfish and aquariums. Pretty neat. By the way, one of my favorite Japanese proverbs is 金魚のふん, which means someone who follows someone around. It literally means goldfish poop, which I wonder who how hard it is to dispose of, or how frequently………

 

The mostly likely pet I would ever get, though, has to be……wait for it………a cat. As far as I’m told, not too much commitment, you can keep them at home during long vacations, don’t have too much to do for poop disposal (litterbox is it?) and they’ll sort of just be there for you. Not too much emotional attachment, but will always be there to be touched, maybe kill a bug for me once in a while. I'm not the kind of pet person to go "O, how cute!" or "Kawaiiiii!!!!!! = かわいい!!!!!!!) in Japanese.......I'd just want something to be around when I get bored.

Relating it back to fantasy baseball, (it all comes full circle), I’m not a fan of commitment for any of my players. I’m not gonna give guys 3-year deals in keeper leagues, I can barely keep a player for 3 weeks, much less 3 years. Fantasy baseball is actually kind of my pet- I take care of it every day, it has nothing to do with my career, it makes me happy, and sometimes (once in a while) it gives me enjoyment, keeps me company. Ultimately, the day I (finally) lose interest/ cure my addiction to fantasy baseball is the day I adopt a pet. So………NEVER!!!!!!

 

Fantasize on,

 

Robert Yan