Why LOST is like the WWE

Just got done watching the season premiere of Survivor All-Star 3. And for a bunch of the cast, it's their THIRD time on the show. That bothers me a bit, and actually it should bother most of the 3rd-timers too: If you haven't won the show by the THIRD time, what does that say about you? And really, nobody is on that show to take 2nd place, except maybe Sugar......who was VERY expectedly the 1st person voted off (how'd she get invited to All-Stars?). Unless there was a massive tempering of expectations, a lot of peeps are gonna be disappointed.

Please, please, PLEASE don't let Boston Rob be evacuated next episode.

Colby admits he's 10 years older than when he first played, and talks like it: busting out "sustainability" to describe his tribe. Did he get a 2nd degree from Texas Tech during those 10 years too?

Especially the ladies: Cerie and Amanda talking about long-term strategy and how they're "in it to win it this year." Sorry to break it to you, ladies, but that 5-person Flower Power Alliance in Micronesia's probably never gonna happen again, girls get taken out often and early in all seasons of survivor now, and you'll be lucky to get to the merge especially with more physical girls like Steph and Candice on your tribe. I mean, do you REALLY expect the tribe to agree to vote out JT, or James, or Tom before you? Be realistic.

Rupert looks like a shell of his 2003-form. I never liked him, but at this point I want to see him voted out to save his reputation.

Notable absences: No Johnny Fairplay (perfect villain), nobody from Survivor: Fiji, no ASIANS. Really, Survivor? I understand Yul probably didn't want to come back, but no Yau-man? No Frosti? Pei Gee? Ken? Frighteningly, this is the 3rd straight season w/ no asian representation. Uncool, Survivor, uncool.

Anyway, main idea of this post: LOST. My disclaimer on LOST: as much as I like the pageantry of LOST, the water-cooler-talk-generator aspect of LOST, the wow-didn't-see-that-coming-part of it, it's not my favorite show. Much like Jack, its main character, it is very flawed, with boring stretches of the season with lots of filler, bad storylines, new questions to things that never go anywhere. It also has the quality of bars /clubs that you don't like: It knows you're gonna come, so it charges whatever it wants (LOST knows you're gonna watch, so it does whatever the &*$^ it wants.)

1. The characters of LOST are like the "superstars" of WWE: all have their own separate storylines. Each sort of gets a different segment of the show that is different than what the other characters in the show have, their own private place. Many times, these storylines intersect, and charcters collide.

Also, on WWE, there's tiers of superstars, with the best being in the "main event" and always contending for the heavyweight championship, like the Undertaker, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, Edge. These guys get a lot of attention and as a consequence get hyped up more.
Meet the Oceanic Six of LOST. Jack, Sayid, Kate, Hurley, Sun. Add a few other guys like Locke, Ben, and Sawyer, and that's the core of the show. They get the most air time, everything revolves around them.

You've also got the middle-tier guys in the WWE, think like CM Punk, Chris Jericho, Kofi Kingston, John Morrison. The equivalent of LOST's Miles, Claire, Desmond. Not entirely necessary for the show, and sometimes doing stuff totally different from the main guys.

You've also got guys who just show up randomly sometimes that no one cares about. Brian Kendrick, Funaki in WWE; Rudzinsky, Walt, I'm looking at you.

You've also got a big boss man of the WWE, the creator, the man behind it all, the puppetmaster, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. On LOST, his role is played by Jacob, the man presumably behind everything that happens on the Island. What were Jacob's motives, what does he do behind the scenes, and most importantly, what does he have in store for our characters? Nobody really knows. Vince McMahon pulls the strings as well as anybody.

LOST is also a show about drama. It really reminds me of the daytime soap operas I (used to) like to watch: All characters co-exist within one little town, but they all have little problems with each other, tales of greed, lust, revenge, jealousy, and most importantly, POWER. And sometimes, two characters who've been really hot for each other get stuck in a cave somewhere thinking they'll never be able to escape and finally profess their love for each other. See Kate + Sawyer season 2, Jack and Kate season 4, Sawyer and Juliette Season 5. Ick. So like a soap opera, LOST operates on drama, on character studies, and people's interactions with each other.
The WWE claims it is "sports entertainment," but really it has the same qualities as a soap opera, checking in on every character's storyline once in a while and advancing it just a bit each time to keep people watching. I feel like a fish in the sea who's perpetually biting the worm on the hook.

O, yea, and the cliffhangers. O boy the cliffhangers. It's like there's a department of employees at LOST who are devoted to the singular task of making sure EVERY episode ends on a cliff-hanger, no matter what. Don't even mention the season finales; I wouldn't be surprised if this season's LOST somehow ended with Jack and Kate suspended in mid-air, the only 2 people left in the world and the only hope for civilization, they show Kate's hand slip, and the season ends. Seriously, that's a possible ending to the whole LOST thing. At least Wrestlemania is the Super Bowl of the WWE and there's somewhat of a conclusion to the whole thing. LOST makes me wonder, by the way it's supposedly "answering questions" 3 episodes into its last season, whether it will EVER get all the through. Maybe that's the point of LOST, is to keep us in suspense. It's like magic: you got the pledge, you got the turn, but once you let everyone know the prestige, they won't care about the show at all. Consider that, LOST fans.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan