If there's one good main thing I've learned about this blog, it's that it's good to keep up w/it as a time capsule so as to rehash the experiences in real-time and remember all the emotions I'm going through right now.
So to my 20-years-in-the-future self: Just went to my man Shouvik's wedding, was really pretty impressive, had a really fun night, hopefully u invited him to your own wedding. I'm working at Sun Learning Center right now to gain some extra cash, but also it reminds me again why I loved being a camp counselor: helping kids have a great time, see them make friends, discover themselves, learn to overcome challenges, and just generally grow up. It's a tough world out there and you get one chance at childhood: I'm just there to ease them through it.
Found an apartment in the Palms for the semester. Big regret was not to haggle on price: don't know how much we would have gotten deduced, but wouldn't have hurt to try. Hopefully you'll have perfected the art of negotiation in 20 years.
Current mood about my career: anxious. The OCI/ summer associate interviewing season is crucial, and I'm in a tough spot due to the economy and mediocre grades. I am doing a good job trying to find parachutes as OCI chances could yield zero offers, in which case I gotta be really creative. Hopefully in 20 years you'll look back at the worries of 2009 and laugh at the triviality of them, but without securing my future I am antsy at best about the many thousands in debt I will be in after law school and getting my legal career off the ground.
The feeling for the last month has been OBSESSIVE over Big Brother: never have I fallen for this show like this season. Watching all the CBS episodes, reading Past Houseguest columns (Eric STein), and watching hours of BB AfterDark on Showtime every night: signs of an addiction. Hardest part is knowing I applied and was asked by a very short email to go to the casting call, but didn't go for a variety of reasons......always will be a "What if?"....Also, might have been golden window w/ the Cliques, they actually wanted nerds like me. I hope my 20-yrs-later self can look back at 2009 as just another season that I honed my Big Brother skills before finally going into the house, dominating the season, starring in BB All-stars 2, and becoming one of the most famous reality TV players ever. Showmance optional.
Prediction about economy: will be all good by 2011. Hopefully not dead wrong about this, but things happen fast: less than a year ago the economy tanked and all hell broke loose, probably will take longer to sew it back up but not that long.
Also, in 20 years you'll be 42, probably past the midway point of your life......reminds the current self of the mortality of human beings. My 94-year-old grandmother just passed away this summer, and I'm a little bothered on the inside of it. She took care of me in China for my first 4.5 years, sent me to kindergarten and did the babysitting bit, raised me to have some character. Life motto: "It's not easy to make it in this world." True, true. Makes me wonder about life after death, the enormity of infinity and insignificance + fragility of my own life. My worst fear: After life, nothingness. Til eternity, so much so that it's like I never lived. Urg, morbid feelings just thinking about it.
On a brighter note, totally revived my all-year roto fantasy baseball league and seems locked into a 2nd-place finish. Starting staff of Halladay and Verlander ( woulda preferred Halladay to the Angels, Dodgers, of Phils for the wins), but still awesome, and lineup is downright scary and would take me to the top if I didn't destroy my BA early in the season ( VMart, Reynolds, Cano, Ramirez, Rollins, Markakis, Soriano, Willingham, Rios). Amassed quite the team this season, but trading Bobby Abreu twice (in both my leagues) is making me feel quite donkey-like.
Time to research for firms. Remind self to be jubilant when (IF) i get that first offer for a full-time position. A.K.A., a J-O-B!!!! I want it!!!!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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