日曜大工 (Sunday Carpenter)

The Japanese have a concept of the "Sunday carpenter," or in English, something who is good at Doing-it-yourself, with the idea being using a non-workday to pursue one's other hobbies, like building a deck (literal interpretation, but it could be other kinds of hobbies too), adding an air conditioning unit, doing repairs around the house, etc. 

I am terrified of doing stuff myself. My dad is relatively handy at some such as changing a tire on a bike, fixing the car, drilling a hole in the wall to hang pictures around the house, etc. So Sunday carpenter does run in the family, but for some reason I just didn't get the gene. I was always worried (and my parents much more than me) that my lack of handyman abilities would prevent me from finding a partner in life, but apparently i was able to trick MJ with my charm, or at least I hid my flaws very well. I always figured I'd try to make enough money using my other talents (my awesome intellect, for example, which I realized a ton of people had superior abilities) or quick mental math ability (still got it!) or something to get by, with specialization and all that, but I apparently have been able to survive in the world so far without having to be a Sunday carpenter. 

Home ownership would change that......The reason I've avoided any handyman abilities is mainly due to living in apartments all my life (check out the new USC Village living facilities btw, they built a housing courtyard fashioned after Hogwarts and I would have LOVED living there as an undergrad!) and just having other people fix things and relying on my parents, and I've owned my own car but other than periodically vacuuming, washing, and filling the car up with gas I let the auto repair shop deal with everything. I'm not a "hands-on" guy- I'm a "type-on" guy or "email-on" guy who uses the internet to figure out how to do things. I don't get joy from creating physical things such as a table or a house (apparently MJ's dad can build a house with "2 or 3 other guys he hires" from scratch which is amazing to me) but get immense joy from creating ideas or concepts like this blog, music, podcasts (considering creating a podcast about dodgeball, a as-of-now relatively untapped market), my own youtube channel, even artwork that my dad ends up drilling holes in the wall to hang up for (it's a visual thing created from intellect, in my opinion), and acquiring a language. Different strokes for different folks I guess. 

How one spends Sunday I think is very indicative of one's personality: M-F as a whole are important to know what a person does for work, and Saturday is the pure fun and relaxation day, but Sunday.......the poisoned day before the weekend is over, where many people go to church, the lazy Sunday nap day, the NFL football day, the Sunday morning brunch day, the Sunday Carpenter day......... while Saturday is full of possibilities that allows for the most freedom and choices, Sunday is where time is running low on the weekend and one has to prioritize and shows what they really prefer: whether it be sports, religion, dining, outdoors, music, movies, books, or building new things, Sunday is the best indicator before Monday rolls around. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

라면 먹고 (Do You want to eat ramen?)

I just learned the Korean version of "Netflix and Chill" today. Apparently, it originated from a movie called "One Fine Spring Day," or 봄날은 간다  in Korean, but it apparently means the same as the current English version of "Netflix and Chill." (I'll wait for you to google that if you don't know what it means). First of all, those are great examples of why language is so difficult to translate for computers, because computers don't understand nuance, and double meanings, and cultural references, and you'd constantly have to add in new modifications based on cultural changes, so there's still value to learning new languages, Google won't replace all our language abilities! Even if you said "Do you want to eat ramen," a computer won't get the significance of whether you actually DO want to eat ramen or cook ramen for someone, versus some other ulterior motive. Ah the power of the human brain. It also gives a lot of cultural significance, as Koreans (and a lot of Asian cultures) rely on ramen as a staple of their diet, and as such it be used as a way to invite a love interest back into one's home under the pretense of feeding them.

Also, it's encouraging as a Netflix (NFLX) stockholder to know that Netflix has entered our cultural lingo, like "you want Fries or that," or "just Google it." Earnings came out today, and apparently Netflix subscriptions were higher than expected, vaulting the stock up beyond the $200 mark (it was like $100 on this exact date 2 years ago before it went up $25 after hours due to high earnings, and I missed my chance to double my investment in one year. Sigh).

"Do you want to eat ramen?" is unfortunately also related to the other big news of the day, the "Me too" hashtag going around that is the movement towards drawing more attention to women's difficulties in society dealing with sexual harassment. Unfortunately there are some men out there (and a few women) who try to take advantage of women's vulnerabilities and make sexual gestures or sexually suggestive language. Not all men do it and it gives me great shame as a man to know that it happens to women everywhere, but a few bad apples (or maybe more than just a few) makes everyone look bad. For my part, I'll try to be more knowledgeable about the issue (I will read "We Should All Be Feminists" per suggested by MJ, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, only 48 pages of large font! Quick Read! And besides not engaging in sexual harassment, also be aware of things that may offend women or be taken as sexually suggestive, and discourage men from "locker room talk" like boasting among themselves about sleeping with women, etc.

It is a fine line, especially in a sexually charged society with many innuendos and suggestive words (Netflix + Chill being one, as well as the eggplant emoji) that I and others have to be careful about drawing lines of behavior where a woman might feel uncomfortable if that sort of talk were directed at her. For example, asking a woman"Do you want to Netflix and Chill later," or  going up to a Korean woman and asking "Do you want to eat ramen?" are not OK as a form of sexual harassment. Certain behavior may not seem as egregious as the alleged stories about Harvey Weinstein to various female actors and asking if they could give him a massage while he was wearing a bathrobe and could be "just joking," but it's still not acceptable as a form of sexual harassment. Especially if a woman tells me "that's gross," then it's time to apologize and remove any trace of sexual innuendos from jokes, much less any predatory behavior or acts that can be construed as disrespecting a woman's body, or even sexist comments in general about women being weak or some negative stereotype. Every time it comes up, I have to think of MJ or my sister or any close female friends, I definitely wouldn't want them to be sexually harassed or violated or demeaned in anyway.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Organized Race v. Own Race

My friend (and best man at my wedding) Ray is an impressive guy. He's been doing races since he was in junior high (probably since 6th grade). I remember trying to keep up with him even back then but failing, unable to sustain his speed over time and feeling bad about dragging him back and making him check on me when I was coughing, wheezing, and trying to catch my breath. He did all the cross country races through high school and continued into adulthood and into marathons ( and now maybe triathlons?)


Today I woke up to the sound of a race (half marathon or marathon or walkathon, from the looks of it) going down Olive St. where I live. One of the benefits or demerits of living in downtown! Festive atmosphere, a lot of people participating, and volunteers on the sidelines giving out water and shouting out loud encouragement (too loud, in my opinion and probably those of the surrounding residential buildings for 9AM). I've participated in a few 6K's and races in the past (Firecracker run in Chinatown, Redondo Beach 10K) but I prefer the lone race. Here are some reasons why:


1.) The start time isn't actually the start time. You get to a the start line, and it's time to........wait. Up to an hour to get started running. That doesn't agree with me.
2.) I don't need to stretch. It's just not how my body operates......it doesn't need the stretching and stretching doesn't do much for me. I just start running. The pre-race routines that other runners have, while impressive and I'm sure effective for them, just stresses me out.
3.) I like building my own path. A race is pre-determined and have to follow the path........I like to veer off sometimes and see a certain new area
4.) Races get crowded sometimes.....especially when you're in the middle of the pack like me, have to go at the speed of the group.
5.) There's apps that can measure how far I've run, don't need the mile markers and stopwatches telling me how far I've run.
6.) I run at a different pace than any running friends I have (Ray runs faster than I do, as I alluded to earlier) so it's not a social event......I usually don't strike up a conversation with the guy running next to me, neither, it's just a lot of heavy breathing and panting and everyone listening to music.
7.) Especially in LA, I can run anywhere and choose the time to do it. It's so much more efficient to drop everything and start running, forget the troubles (as opposed to having to register for a race, pay the registration fees)be at the mercy of the weather or how you feel, etc.


That said, there are a ton of great things about organized races.

1.) official record- it's like part of your resume or life information, anybody can go on raceinfo.com and look up your name and results. Pretty legit and makes that race an "official time."
2.) The medal you earn at the end for finishing- bring some memorabilia home and hardware home.
3.) It's like going to a running party and meeting similar running enthusiasts......it's assuring to know there's a ton of others like you out there, and it does actually help on the course to have peers pushing you along. I tend to give up and go easy on myself if I'm just alone, take it easy.








The one time I did a marathon with Ray though (2015 LA Marathon) it was awesome! (except between mile 20-24, where I felt exhausted and couldn't move). An unforgettable experience from Dodger Stadium to the Santa Monica Pier with so many landmarks on the way and roads cleared just for us, people high-fiving us, very memorable(especially when I almost pooped myself......happens more than people want to talk about) and really that's probably the biggest appeal of an organized race..... another life experience.

Maybe if it was an organized race called the Amazing Race......I'd definitely do it!!!!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

朝寝坊 (Later Riser)

I have trouble oversleeping. If I didn't have a 9-to-5 job, I would oversleep much more often. It starts gradually: I go to bed at midnight one night, everything's fine the next day and I have no problems, the next evening I bargain myself and try to "cheat time" by going bed at 12:30AM, half an hour later, thus causing myself to wake up just a tad later the next day, and then go on the next day......1AM, 2AM, suddenly I'm waking up at noon.

What's with the late-rising problems? It stems from one main cause: I wish there were more hours in the day. 24 per day just isn't enough to get 8 hours of sleep in (don't feel fulfilled without it), 3 meals in, brush teeth twice, get a workout in, cook food (if you're a gourmet person), commute to work, etc., and get 8 hours of work in. It's like one's budget, except not for money, but for time: There's so many fixed costs like mortgage/rent, car payments, health insurance, living expenses, taxes, etc., that there's only so much discretionary cash left. Same thing with time. After everything is finally taken care of, I feel like there's only so much time left to have MY TIME before going to sleep at a decent time.

So what gets sacrificed? Sleep, or at least an early bedtime. Basically I wish the day was 27 hours instead of 24 hours.

During college and some fun unemployment times/ summers between colleges, there were large stretches where I would just wake up at 11AM (or later!) and go to bed at 3AM or 4AM. Not a very healthy lifestyle, and didn't see daytime too much, and especially bad when I was living with my parents because they would lecture me for my bad habits. A little part of me remembers when I had a remote job (where I can work anywhere in the world! Wow what a life!) as long as I had a computer, and I just sat in my room all day (mostly, all night), go to bed at 5AM AS THE SUN WAS RISING, wake up AFTERNOON around 1PM, have "breakfast," work a few hours, go on a run as the SUN WAS SETTING (4:30PM in the winters here in LA), have LUNCH when I got back home, work a while, HAVE DINNER at like 11:30PM, then work until 5AM in the morning and start the cycle over again......and also slipping a little later each day as previously mentioned. The days would just go by as I had no set schedule, no responsibility to be anywhere at any given time. Days would seem to lap into other days. I had no social life, I lived like a hermit, and a little part of me loved it. And I reminisce back to those days sometimes of a night owl (especially when I oversleep and wake up at 11AM like I did today). (It was less than 4 years ago! WHAT WAS I DOING BACK THEN!)  I would not recommend it, its not good for your health.....but most people that I know have had that period in their lives. I'm just glad I've put that period behind me (for the most part, once in a while on a lazy weekend it'll rear its head again).


Luckily, nowadays even if I'm not working (weekends!) I have a lovely person to wake up to and not oversleep so I can spend more time with her! Incentive to wake up!


Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Fame (有名)

I used to be very intent on becoming famous, making something of myself, being cheered by all. Now with society as it is and what I see famous people doing, I'm not so sure. OJ Simpson is tried for murder and is more famous than any volunteer workers or real heroes out there. Unfortunately in the world we live in, good deeds are not rewarded with fame, but bad ones often are.

I know many people feel the same way I do: I recently saw a bulletin board in front of a building with a sign written in marker, "Stop making stupid people famous." It's a very concise statement that gets at the heart of the problem: consumers of news and television and media who click on stories about people doing stupid things because they're "cool," or it's enticing to watch, for whatever reason, the world (and in particular Americans) are attracted to bad acts, whether it be murders, celebrity divorces, scandals, etc. The news agencies and advertising companies latch on to consumer tendencies and feature what viewers want to watch, and thus give money and even more attention to bad acts. It's a vicious cycle that promotes people doing bad things to get attention, and diverts attention from people who are doing great things out in the world. Think about the news articles: "If it bleeds, it leads...." therefore, murders and crimes dominate the headlines, and sometimes (like this past week) mass shootings and speculation as to why the Las Vegas killers (don't want to perpetuate his name to give him more attention) did what he did, no motive. It's been a mystery all week how he did all this killing himself and pulled off one of the biggest mass murders in U.S. history, and here's a radical theory: Maybe he's doing it for the attention! He knew he'd become (infamous) even if he died and be given more attention than anything that he could have done alive in the real world, so he went for the path of evil. It's not a completely impossible thought: there are people so obsessed with fame, (even more than 20-year-old Robert trying to get on reality TV) that they'd kill to do it. Some news outlets will not publicize the killer's name sometimes for the exact reason of not giving the killer what he wants (fame and recognition), but in the case of the Las Vegas killer everyone flocked to know more about him, even his weird Filipino girlfriend and brother became famous because of him.

And unfortunately, our society allows the equation of fame = money to be true. Given the new advances of Youtube and the internet, everyone can become a star now, and they know that attention means ad dollars and getting jobs and building a "brand," and "brand" means business. People are abandoning their dreams of leading a nice career, getting a good education starting from the bottom and going up the ladder like back in the day by looking for a shortcut, in the form of fame. It's a lot more thrilling (and takes less time) for someone to try to make a bunch of videos and do a bunch of stunts in hopes one of them goes viral and gets them some attention, sounds much easier than going to medical school or law school or business school, and society eats it up, people will "tweet it out." Given the technical advances and automation taking over jobs, fame might be the last stronghold of human labor: machines can't create fame themselves, humans have the human personality to captivate audiences.

It's this growing hunger to become famous, though, that hides the real heroes. I just started reading the book "I am Malala" by the young Pakistani student who was shot by the Taliban, and it's a riveting book about living in Taliban-dominated lands and escaping and trying to free places from terrorism and oppression through education. The lady has a better soul as a teenager than most of us do as adults who are just worrying about their next paycheck or what kind of fancy car they want to drive, it's a selfless story of giving back to a community, a real real model, yet more people want to listen to Justin Bieber is going to do Saturday night. It's a real shame that our role models thrust before everyone are these fame-seeking people who are famous because they want to be famous (kind of like a bubble economy where stocks are driven up by expectations but not really any substance) while the real, overlooked, underrated people of the world get less and less attention. And if people start getting desperate for attention, they might do some weird stuff like the mass shootings, or offer racist messages.

Stop making stupid people famous. Start rewarding good people with fame. Maybe we should just change our news cycle: put the good stories at the top. Put who the President fired and any political sex scandals at the end. Murders, deaths go after hero sacrifices and great stories of volunteers helping the needy. In this way the vicious cycle of fame-seeking and people yearning for news of bad stuff happening to other people will end.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Composure (冷静)

As a kid, I learned a lot about composure. I remember the first time I played a violin solo in front of judges, I was 10 years old playing a Suzuki basic piece, but it was very scary for a kid to go up in front of adults and play by myself, with no help from parents and no cushion to fall back on if I failed. I remember as a 5 year old going up in front of a crowd of Chinese kids and telling a famous Chinese folk tale from The Journey to the West, which my parents still talk about to this day. I don't know what it is about being composed (maybe it's genetic and inherently programmed into my DNA!) but I function well under pressure.

There's something about giving a speech that wracks the nerves of some people, and I can understand why: hundreds, maybe thousands of people focusing on you and you only, that's hundreds or thousands more than almost any other time in your life. Your one time to shine, to put your best foot forward, to show what type of person you are. Rightly or wrongly, they'll forever judge you for that one moment where you're in the spotlight. It could make any person anxious, but I'm actually not like that: I grew up having to go "onstage" with orchestras and other public events and be in uncomfortable situations, and didn't mind giving class presentations at all. Instead of worrying about the pressure, I relish in the spotlight. It's hard to explain, but adrenaline kicks in and I feel a warm calmness like I'm watching myself in that moment from somewhere else, but I'm also in control of that moment as well.
Activities that helped me develop composure during tense situations:

1.) Orchestra concerts, music recitals in front of the whole high school.
2.) Chess team, playing the last game of the match while everyone else watches, with the result of the match hanging in the balance. Luckily I won more of those games than I lost, so I don't have too many bad memories that trigger a complex and "getting it in my head." My chess coach used to call me "Ice" for being able to close out games without blinking an eye and looking calm in the face of pressure. I was just so focused back then, something I can't say as much now. Senior year my chess suffered because I got distracted and kept looking around at other people's games. That's one thing pressure does well: keep me focused on the task at hand.
3.) Job interviews, despite being only in front of one or a few people (small audience), can be pretty nerve wracking because of the length of time and amount of talking you have to, give all the right answers.
4.) High school presentations in front of the whole class. Not too much pressure because everyone else had to present too, but I would often volunteer to go first (always a tough task to break the ice). This is also where I learned that sometimes you need a joke in the beginning to break the ice, relieve some of the tension (hope everyone laughs), and then move on after everyone has relaxed just a bit.
5.) Getting "called on" by the Torts Professor in law school, having to summarize a case and a.) prove that you read it and b.) give some sort of analysis on it. Despite the looming threat of derision and public humiliation in front of 80 of my peers, I managed to pass through these "cold calls" pretty well.
6.) Getting up in front of a judge representing my client in a court case is always a little tenuous, given the amount of responsibility is at stake and how much the client has invested, you would not be letting just yourself down, it would be failing for the client. It's OK to misspeak! Just go back to correct yourself, that's what tons of attorneys do, and that's when they know what they're talking about (a lot of times they just keep their lips moving and argue, without much substance. It's a good skill to have).
7.) Playing in front of large crowds at dodgeball. The most pressure for a dodgeballer is when you're the only player left on your team. I relish that opportunity to show everyone what I can do and I'm even better because of it: I don't rely on anyone else, it's me against the world, and I play with a huge chip on my shoulder. It's one of the more thrilling feelings in the world, and I enjoy it while being able to stay composed .

That's why my wedding speech and vows at the ceremony went so well! I'll forever remember giving my vows to MJ in front of 85 of our closest friends. I knew everyone else was there, but I really was just talking to MJ, so I kind of blocked everyone out.

I actually DID mess up my wedding speech in that I thanked all the guests who came to the wedding and cited things I had learned from each table, such as learning different Japanese phrases from the Japanese table or Game of Thrones memes from the friends table, but I forgot to mention I learned so much from MJ, like the fact that plastic cannot go in the microwave, or how credit card rewards plans and purchasing The Broad Museum tickets works (she's really good at spending money!), or any number of artists she has introduced me to. But it sounded good, and I kept composed and kept going on without breaking down or anything. Yay for me, although I should have definitely written down all the topics I wanted to cover on a notecard or something so I didn't skip anyone important, in retrospect. Luckily on the day I really needed it the most, my composure and adrenaline that kicks in when pressure is on allowed me to look good in front of MJ and her approving parents! I also threw in the "Game of Thrones" music when playing the wedding march song, which got a bunch of laughs. Yay for laughter! I was definitely positively reinforced (which is really the self-confidence boost you need to keep calm) and everything went swimmingly  after that.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Wedding Venue (結婚式場)

Another Saturday has come and gone, and with it another September (surprisingly the most popular month for weddings, statistically) of weddings. I'll forever remember September 2017 because it was our wedding month, and I'll forever remember our wedding venue: Verandas Beach House in Manhattan Beach. A bunch of Facebook friends just held their wedding tonight, and I admired their venues from afar (Facebook photos). All seem very nice, and it takes having a wedding to understand all the hard work put into making the wedding look nice and all the fancy amenities people have .


Selecting a wedding venue seems like a fun process because there's so many possibilities (you can hold a wedding almost ANYWHERE) but difficult because you can only have ONE WEDDING!  so it's hard to narrow down to one. Here's some observations and advice MJ shared during the venue selection process:


1.) The venue selection process itself is really fun. Go to lots and lots of wedding venues to get a free tour (we did) and imagine yourself at that wedding location. It's almost like having multiple weddings! That hour you spend at the wedding location is about a quarter of the time you spend actually holding the real wedding, just much cheaper.

2.) Know when the sunset times are! September might be most popular because sunset is right around 7PM, when the ceremony transitions to cocktail hour and gives view of a great sunset.

3.) Beach weddings sound like a great idea (Toes in the sand!) but practically not so much (so I've heard) as guests have to take off their shoes, the sand is blowing, have to set up an arch somewhere in the sand, etc. MJ and I instead had our wedding at a beach house NEAR the beach and took wedding pictures at the beach. Genius.

4.) Our original idea was to have a wedding at the National History Museum in LA, among the wooly mammoths, dinosaurs, and blue whales! It was out of our budget, but the videos of other people's weddings were really awesome.

5.) New wedding locations seem nice but there's a lot of benefit to seeing previous weddings at your facility, see what people did and what worked and didn't work. We put a lot of work into seeing other people's weddings and stalking other people's wedding videos/ albums, but it did help when planning our own wedding.

6.) A lot of people make a big deal out of the wedding venue because it's once in a lifetime! One time to shine! But I personally think almost all venues are nice, just get a little bit of sky, outdoor, and  nice view. Most people are only outside for the venue for like 10 to 15 minutes now anyway! After that it's cocktail hour in the reception area. What's almost equally important and certainly added up together more important that the aesthetic quality of the venue is the quality of the food, service, parking situation, how long the venue opens for, etc. I've heard of people having weddings in their backyard (we were going to do that if there was a backyard big enough!), weddings on a boat, etc. Honestly, even the county courthouse does a wedding service and they paint a mural of a wedding backdrop on a wall and have people stand in front of it. It actually looks ok!

7.) Most facilities will want you to book in advance of the date and have all kinds of deadlines and deposits due and whatnot, but unless it's like one of the elite landmarks or facilities in the city (which won't be affordable for most people anyway) there's definitely some give and take and bargaining for a lot of facilities: it's like plane tickets, they want you to book ahead of time too. Certain dates will become available if someone drops out, etc. The big numbers though (like 8/8/2008 or 7/7/2007) will fill up quickly. None of those coming up though.




This afternoon while walking near my apartment in downtown I walked by what looked like an abandoned warehouse with a slight opening in an alleyway. I peeked in and lo and behold, there were vendors setting up for a wedding. And it looked very nice inside, despite the outside looking like......an abandoned warehouse. Just another example that you can have the wedding almost ANYWHERE, what matters is the people you spend it with and who you're getting married to.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan