Reading Books (読書)

I recently read a book called "When Breathe Becomes Air" about a cancer physician who treats cancer patients but contracts cancer himself and ponders on the meaning of life, how death plays a role in that life. Very interesting read, a great page-turner and felt like the author was speaking directly to me, the best kind of book in my opinion where I get to delve into the author's mind and basically have a conversation. While I was reading, however, I thought about how long it'd been since I had totally finished a book in its entirety, and I realized how little I read books (not newspapers, blogs, facebook feeds, or social media outlets,) full-length, softcover or hardcover, 150 page-or-more, BOOKS.

One of the best activities I've ever done is read books to children. Children's books are entertaining, charismatic, down-to-earth, easily understandable, usually contain cute characters, relates to kids, and more importantly, are SHORT and are within the attention span of a normal 5-to-10-year-old. It's like a Disney/ animated movie, always less than 90 minutes running time, get you out of there without dragging on (by the way, Finding Dory, not as good as it could have been, although some interesting aquarium-related creatures like the British-accent seal played by Idris Elba. It's really a joy to read to children, though, because kids are so ENGAGED with the books, they stare at the pictures like they've been absorbed into a different world and can't wait to turn to the next page of their adventure. They also don't have a doctor's appointment, have to go to work, or have to change their own kids' diapers, they can just be there and enjoy the reading of the book. Also, as an adult you can make all kinds of different voices to entertain the kids and even change specific words of a book to give creative license, so that's a bonus for the storyteller. But it's the engagement of the readee that is the best part about the experience, and Christmas time / winter time is the best time to do so.

I wish I could relive that nostalgia of reading as a kid. (That's usually when it starts). I too was in that phase of just listening to a teacher read a book (My parents never read to me in English because I quickly raced ahead of them in English proficiency, although they did read to my much-younger sister Emily with Chinese accents) I quickly moved on from listening to books to absorbing the books myself, and then progressed to becoming a voracious reader, reading whatever I can get on hands on, and often whole series of books like the Choose Your Own Adventure book series, the Encyclopedia Brown mystery series, the Redwall series, then (yes, unfortunately I was caught up in) the Harry Potter series. My favorite and most memorable book as a kid was one "Maniac Magee" by Jerry Spinelli because I could so identify with the main character, a boy on his own moving around and misunderstood by those around him. It wasn't just English-language books neither; my parents encourage me to delve into Chinese literature, not just to learn about Chinese culture but to keep my Chinese language ability skills proficient, which I did and I owe a debt of gratitude to my parents and grandpa for to this day. But Chinese novels were quite lengthy, but I trudged on through the classics of "Journey to the West" and "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms." What I loved about those times was how engrossed I could become in a book, that I could lie down on the carpet or couch, crack open a new book, and just read for 3 hours, without doing anything else. My mind was focused and not polluted by outside information, desires, wants, annoyances, Iphone, internet. It was just ready to grip all the information about the world that was inside the book, and wouldn't release that grip until dinnertime, or whatever mandatory break I had to take. I myself wouldn't take it, I would continue reading because I wanted to. Even my mom thought I "read too much," and was at risk of being a "book nerd," which translates just as well into Chinese as kind of a dorky loser as it does in English.

Even in college, I could get absorbed in good books (I had a bit better taste by then and knew what I wanted). Instead of trying to chase women or adventure, I chased book highs.....I once sat on the lawn of the engineering quad at University of Illinois after taking the LSAT and read a book cover to cover while the sunset came over the campus, one of my best memories, ever, then when moving to California I read in the passenger's seat while my dad drove during our 2-day road trip. Quite an enjoyable experience.

Nowadays, though, books are far and few between, and I just can't get through them quickly enough, not being able to budget enough time for them. I literally can't afford to get trapped in those worlds of books anymore, unfortunately, despite still having the voracity to get through a good book (It needs to be book, can't be a junk romance novel). I think that's one of the regrets all adults get, is just not being able to cuddle up with a book, sit there for hours on end, and read a good book. One of the great delights of humankind.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Zoo Lights (動物園の明かり)

Peanut butter and jelly. Dinner and a movie. Hot coffee and marshmallows. Some things just go well together, and something about a light show at a zoo really pulls in my girlfriend and me. Continuing the theme from last post, Zoo lights at LA zoo was our first actual "defined" date experience, and this past weekend in celebration of that momentous time, we went to Zoo lights again, in a different city, but with similar spectacular results, in my opinion.

For some reason, zoo lights is really catching on in most large metropolitan cities in America: LA and Chicago for sure have one, and I saw on TV Boston had it. The premise is simple: put Christmas lights around in the outer parts of a zoo during the winter to attract customers, since no one goes to zoos in the winter, and the animals have to be relocated (imagine animals trying to survive a Chicago winter), but leave some indoor exhibits so that it still has a zoo feel. Also put up plenty of light displays that involve animals, including elephants, gorillas, all the fan favorites, and you got yourself a successful zoo lights show.

LA zoo, in its fashion of being inferior to other zoos, charged for admission last winter, and it didn't have a winter feel: 55 degrees in LA, but it did surround different areas nicely with colorful lights and music. Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo really blew LA out of the water in that sense. First of all, free zoo: no admission, all comers welcome, and saves all the time taken to get tickets, go through the ticket area......when it's free, one just walks in. Chicago had a live polar bear living outdoors! Imagine that, a polar bear living in arctic conditions. Chicago had a ice cutting exhibition, with a professional ice cutter on a stage cutting animal shaped ice-blocks with a saw (I guess an ice saw?) The icing on top? It was snowing in Chicago during Zoo Lights, and not the blow-in-your-face, painful snow, the majestic, powdery snow that falls down slowly like you're on a set of a movie. Truly brings out the taste of winter.

I guess the biggest complaint is that it is COLD.....welcome to Chicago I guess. But to cure that, the zoo opened up several indoor exhibits with monkeys, birds, reptiles, etc. that one can duck into for a while just to get away from the zoo. Really soothing effect, being able to enjoy a warm room after spending it outside in icy conditions. There was also hot chocolate selling outside for a low, low price of.........$6 a cup. That's a.......wait for it, pyramid scheme.



Speaking of zoos, The Little Goat diner in West Loop, Chicago is superb. Very fine concoctions of food, serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner at all times. I don't usually endorse restaurants, but this really hit the spot after a long day of walking around in the snow.

Dating my next door neighbor 跟隔壁邻居交往

In this blog's continuing series of Chinese/English parallel texts (one day I hope to do this in CJKE! Chinese Japanese Korean English) I tell the story of how I met/ started dating my wonderful girlfriend. Great memories!

你能跟我去油画课吗？

我跟我女朋友的经历很有趣、很偶然性的遇会。我那时候住在我朋友家，租了他一间房。我朋友的老婆也来了她的朋朋友小明来住另一间房. 

如此小明和我就变成邻居了。我平时很害羞，不太敢主动跟女生谈话，只有跟我朋友夫妻俩以起出去时可以跟小明聊天。小明虽然是韩国长大的，在美国住了十多年，上了大学和研究学院，美语和美国文化都了解得不错。脑子又好，外貌又轻秀，我逐渐对她有点意思。

那时正好跟朋友报名去上个油画课，我朋友到最后说去不了了，又不能退票，咋么办呢只好找替身的。灵机一动想起小明，一边可以多了解小明，一边避免浪费那张票，一石二鸟。我就问小明，也没直接说是约会，只问，不好意思，朋友缺席， 你能跟我去油画课吗？ 正好小明有空，就一起去了。

油画课是让大家画一块南瓜馅饼，代表美国十一月份敢恩节的传统。有专业画家来辅导。我以前小时候画过画，但也就是随便画画而已。小明胸有成竹地画起来，油漆混的也很专业派，旁若无人的认真画上了。我的水平明显差远了，老师经常要过来帮我一下，怕我落后。

到最后收盘时，大家欣赏互相的作平，大家对小明的画感觉很好，称赞像是真的南瓜饼似的。大家看到我的就没话好说了，客气点没有批评就算不错了。

虽然我的画弄砸了，但对小明的感觉深刻了，她也觉得我们俩很谈的开，我们就从那一次课发展感情，一直到了今天一年多的恋情。

" Can you go to paint class with me?" 

Meeting my wonderful girlfriend MJ was a very interesting, very chance encounter. At that time I lived at my friend's house, renting out one of his rooms. My friend's wife also invited her friend, MJ, to live in the room next to mine. 

From then on MJ and I became neighbors/roommates. I'm usually pretty shy (as described in this blog previously) and not proactive about initiating conversation with ladies, and at the beginning MJ and I only talked when we all went out as group. Although MJ grew up in South Korea, she had lived in America for more than 10 years, went to college and graduate school, so her grasp of both American language and customs was great. She was smart and had elegant features, so I gradually started liking her. 

At that time I had signed up for a paint class with my friend, but my friend said she couldn't go at the last second, and there was no refund on the ticket, so I had to find a replacement. I suddenly thought of MJ, as I could both get to know MJ more as well as avoid wasting a ticket, like getting two birds with one stone. So I asked MJ without telling her it was a date, but just, "Sorry, my friend couldn't make it, so would you like to go to paint class with me?" Luckily MJ was free, so we went together. 

The painting at paint class was that of a pumpkin, representing America's November custom of Thanksgiving. There was a pro painter there to guide us. As a kid I had done some drawings, but just fooling around, nothing serious. MJ on the other hand confidently started to draw like she had done it so many times before, also mixing the paints together skillfully, concentrating on the painting as if no one else was around. My skill was obviously much lower, and the instructor had to come and help me a few times, lest I fall behind. 

Towards the end near closing time, everybody enjoyed each other's work, and everyone really liked MJ's painting, praising it as a "real enough to eat." When they saw me they didn't say anything, maybe just to be polite and not give any criticism. 

Although I failed at paint class, but my relationship with MJ blossomed, and we could talk more easily with each, and from that class on we developed our relationship, and  the love continues even today, more than a year later. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Static Electricity 静電気

Every winter, an invisible enemy creeps into my life, making it hard for me to enjoy life, to live naturally. It takes no shape, but is omnipresent in all things. Its name? Static electricity, or "seidenki" in Japanese.

Static shock affects all parts of my life. Every time I touch anything, I have to be cognizant of its existence. It's like electroshock therapy- touch and get zapped. Like a psychological experiment gone wrong, static shock has caused me to become shy about touching things.The actual sensation is not that bad, and I certainly will live afterwards, it's just the literal, psychological shock of having to pull my hand back, as well as the dry crackling sound of electricity that makes me cringe. 


In these dangerous times of static being at the height of its nefarious power, wood becomes my friend: I know I can depend on it to ground myself. Conversely, my worst fear is to be in all metal room surrounded by metal objects.

Worst times for static electricity:

1) kissing my girlfriend (generates shock when both of us have accumulated a lot of electrons)

2) touching my car door

3) touching the mouse at my workstation

4) touching the metal of a water fountain

5) grabbing the doorknob to enter a room.... It's worse than a horror film with suspenseful music, except the terrifying monster isn't behind the door, it's ON the door. 


Static electricity exists in California, but it gathers its strength more in cold temperatures, which I'm currently suffering from in Chicago. Straight from google: winter, static electricity is worse due to a lack of air humidity, leading to a charge imbalance. It's a buildup of electrons, like evil spirits amassing to cause misery to the human race. It's a plague upon society and must be stopped. If I want to be known for one thing in this world, it's having put a stop to static electricity: there's gotta be an invention, an app, a pill that can be created to stop this menace. I don't know much about science, but can we raid those electron centers (like carpets, hair, and winter coats, goshdarn those wintercoats, I can feel the electrons gathering on them!) and disperse the electrons to stop static electricity at its root! 

Fight on! 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Health Insurance (健康保険)

Every month when I'm looking over my bills and try to figure out how in the world I spent so much money in just one short month, I notice a bunch of things: first, how much the cost of food is (it's not that a $5 sandwich there or a $30 dinner out is going to kill you, but all the little costs add up including snacks, drinks, buying for other people, etc. like little cuts to the body, it gets pretty hefty and literally costs an arm and a leg). Secondly, vacations can get pretty costly not just because of the flight fare, food, living accommodations, and activities on the vacation, but also because of the time missed from work (if you're an hourly worker like me who doesn't get paid if he doesn't report to work) PLUS the double cost of having one's home either rented out or bought. Third, that I don't even have a mortgage yet that would only increase these massive costs, and Fourth, how many administrative fees I pay that I don't even get much benefit out of that are a total waste of money.

Look, I get it, there are some costs associated with living in general, such as.......food. If I didn't have to eat I probably wouldn't spend the money to eat, but alas we're human beings with a large appetite and a 3 meals per day (roughly) ritual so that money's a fixed cost, and I AM getting some nourishment/enjoyment out of it. And even CA bar fees (for being an attorney), at least I'm getting some benefit from it, of being able to work as an attorney and enjoy my salary. Health insurance costs, however, are psychologically so damaging because once I spend the $250 or so per month, I get nothing out of it unless I go to the hospital. There's a strong, strong chance every month that I'm just giving money away, and for a relatively cheap guy like me, it's particularly irksome. Like I hem and haw sometimes about giving $100 to charity (and that's on the high side), but it's my decision to give, so I feel good about myself and can justify the cost because I feel there's a chance it might be used to help someone else who needs it,  but then I'm forced to pay $250 per month for something, it just doesn't feel right. I get that maybe it's being used to help someone else in the system who's suffering from a disease that requires large medical bills and that it's part of the system in the US, much like social security is, but in both instances I have no guarantees that by the time I am old and need the benefits from those payments that those benefits will still be there. Ever since I was 26, when I was forcibly ripped away from the umbrella protection of my parents' health care plan (one of the good things about Obamacare),

The problem with health insurance in the US, as my wonderful girlfriend vents about sometimes, is that not only is it mandatory and expensive and comes out of the citizen's own pocket (unless you get it free from one's employer, which is factored into one's compensation), it also does less than other countries' insurance, which is universal health insurance. Universal health insurance is an unattainable fantasy at this point for the US in how much money that would have to come out of the budget or how much taxpayers would have to pay in taxes to fund that anyway, but at least give more benefits for the plans than just "we'll pay everything over $7,000, so basically major surgeries and transplants only." Oh and one free doctor's visit per year and free flu shot. Thanks (sarcasm). Japan is a country that has lots of insurance, life insurance, etc., but it has a universal health care system. The whole idea of healthcare being part of a "health insurance" system is pretty bizarre to me, healthcare should not be a "catastrophe situation" that requires insurance. I'll have to do more research, but this seems right in the category of one of the big....wait for it...pyramid schemes I always complain about.

Next time, I rant about other hidden fees in America such as "processing fee" for orders, tips paid to waiters sustaining a whole industry of people that America gets away with, parking fees, "city tax," and the massive quantities of money that comes out of my paycheck each week (including Medicare, something called OASDI, and State withholding for god knows what purpose) that DOESN'T EVEN INCLUDE HEALTHCARE Bottom line is I wish I could keep more of my money. My high school English teacher once said, most young people lean liberal/Democratic until they start working and feel differently about their money and earning money (in which case they don't want to get taxed out of everything anymore by big government spending). I now understand why he said that.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

越冬 (How to Survive Winter in Chicago)

In Japanese, "Ettou" means going into hibernation, or going through the winter, and for the first time in about 8 summers, I'm going to be braving it through the Chicago cold. That's right, no more 70 degree December days in LA of going to the beach in a t-shirt and making runs. My world now (at least, the outside world) is all about heavy jackets, minimizing exposed skin surfaces, seeing my breathe in front of my face, the lake freezing over (all the boats at Navy Pier have been relocated for the winter), gloves, hugging my girlfriend really tight to keep both of us warm, etc. Even my work building makes changes for the winter, taking away the outside seats (who's gonna eat lunch outside in the freezing weather?) and installing winter decorations inside. December is here.

I'm by no means the biggest advocate of preparing for weather, but even a carefree guy like me gets knocked back into submission by the breeze and has to head back indoors for a jacket if I forgot one before stepping outside. 

1.) find a gym to get exercise in. I tried running in 37 degree weather the other day. Didn't feel great but was braving it for a while running down the riverwalk (Yes, Chicago has a riverwalk now too, and one can view the majestic sight of the Trump Building while walking the path!) towards the lake, but then the lakefront breeze enveloped me in its icy grasp and I whimpered back home. I've already gained about 5 pounds this winter season, but don't want to gain anymore, so it's time for (GASP) treadmill time. I'm not a fan of treadmills. 

2.) Get some shovels ready inside one's car, cuz there's a distinct chance you have to shovel yourself out if there's overnight snow and you parked outside (had this happen too much in the 16-18 phase). 

3.) Have tissues on your person at all times.......no telling when your nose gets embarrassingly runny and have to wipe.... 

3a.) Ears- often forgot, but ever so sensitive to the cold, so much that they get red. Wear a sweatshirt, inner shit, or outer jacket, SOMETHING that has a hoodie, or a wool hat, or earmuffs, whatever, it's a worthy investment. 

4.) Check weather every day. It's not gonna be 70-71-68-72 sunny all week, sudden shifts in weather and 45 degree feels a whole lot different than 25 degrees, especially when wind chill is accounted for. 

5.) It's not all bad. With winter comes a lot of happy holidays like the just-past Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, etc. One other nice thing is the first snowfall of the year, which annually has been something to look forward to when I was in college/ lived in Illinois. A beautiful sight and enough to people to go outside and catch a snowflake. Japanese people value it, too, calling the year's first snowfall 初雪. Just make sure that it's soft snow that's dropping and not sleet, hail, acid rain (probably not) or an array of other slushy solid precipitation. I got stuck in a hailstorm last week that pounded against my face. Not fun. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

結婚する

Marriage in America, as I imagine it is with most other countries, is a big deal. It supports a multi billon dollar industry of weddings (and as it turns out, other items such as wedding rings, wedding dresses, wedding videos, etc., etc.), court cases are decided based on what constitutes a marriage (is it a man and a woman only, or does it also count for man and a man, woman and a woman, penguin and an iguana, etc., etc.). There's also different religions and sects that recognize different numbers of partners, not just 1v.1 (personally, I think it'd be pretty tiring to have more than 1 spouse, but hey who am I to judge). Families are combined in a marriage but are unfortunately sometimes ripped apart due to marriage, marriage has always been the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for those pursuing true love and an eternal soul mate, etc. 

But for all that fuss about marriage, it can be an exceedingly simple process: people do it all the time because it's voluntarily and can be done almost any time, any place. The prototypical "shotgun wedding" in Vegas comes to mind where a couple meets for the first time and then decides to get married in a fit of spontaneity, which is allowed in the United States. It takes less time really to get married in most states (some states require blood tests, other paperwork, so I'm not sure) but at least in CA, it can realistically take under 20 minutes. Different courts around the state are set up at a moment's notice to accommodate couples, grant a marriage license (apparently you have to get state permission to get married, for a modest fee) of course, and using that license get married by an official-looking, wardrobe wearing government official licensed by the state to perform wedding ceremonies in an official-looking, beautiful scenery-painted-on-the-walls-to-look-like-a-wedding-venue, space with chairs lined up for at least 20 of the couple's  friends and family. The official-looking minister asks the couples to exchange rings, asks them to exchange vows (not even your own vows, ones that the state mandates and has the couples recite back to each other!), say "I do," do the kissing thing (not mandatory) and then it's all over. (And really, isn't that what a normal $30,000 wedding comes down to anyway?) The minister signs the paperwork, presents the marriage license, ushers everyone out of the room, then welcomes the next couple of victims, er, lovers into the room to start it all over again. It's slightly more romantic than going through a drive through at Taco Bell, people are just dressed a little better. 

I know all of this because my friend did his wedding at the Ventura County Court and saved about $30,000+ that it usually costs to do a big wedding, so there's the extravagant, go all-out, once-in-a-lifetime mindset v. a "it's-just-a-formality" mindset. It really varies from person to person whether marriage might be the most important thing in one's life (extreme) and everything has to be perfect or the "let's go pick up a marriage certificate," and that wide range also applies to what marriage means for different people: is it a contract, is it a guarantee of love, is it a checkmark on a piece of paper, is it a financial transaction, is it an obligatory ceremony to please one's parents, etc., etc., marriage means so many different things. One just hopes that their idea of marriage comes true and succeeds in doing what they set out to make it. 

Fantasize on,