Every winter, an invisible enemy creeps into my life, making it hard for me to enjoy life, to live naturally. It takes no shape, but is omnipresent in all things. Its name? Static electricity, or "seidenki" in Japanese.
Static shock affects all parts of my life. Every time I touch anything, I have to be cognizant of its existence. It's like electroshock therapy- touch and get zapped. Like a psychological experiment gone wrong, static shock has caused me to become shy about touching things.The actual sensation is not that bad, and I certainly will live afterwards, it's just the literal, psychological shock of having to pull my hand back, as well as the dry crackling sound of electricity that makes me cringe.
In these dangerous times of static being at the height of its nefarious power, wood becomes my friend: I know I can depend on it to ground myself. Conversely, my worst fear is to be in all metal room surrounded by metal objects.
Worst times for static electricity:
1) kissing my girlfriend (generates shock when both of us have accumulated a lot of electrons)
2) touching my car door
3) touching the mouse at my workstation
4) touching the metal of a water fountain
5) grabbing the doorknob to enter a room.... It's worse than a horror film with suspenseful music, except the terrifying monster isn't behind the door, it's ON the door.
Static electricity exists in California, but it gathers its strength more in cold temperatures, which I'm currently suffering from in Chicago. Straight from google: winter, static electricity is worse due to a lack of air humidity, leading to a charge imbalance. It's a buildup of electrons, like evil spirits amassing to cause misery to the human race. It's a plague upon society and must be stopped. If I want to be known for one thing in this world, it's having put a stop to static electricity: there's gotta be an invention, an app, a pill that can be created to stop this menace. I don't know much about science, but can we raid those electron centers (like carpets, hair, and winter coats, goshdarn those wintercoats, I can feel the electrons gathering on them!) and disperse the electrons to stop static electricity at its root!
Fight on!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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