Robin Williams

 Jeopardy recently had a category called "A 90s Kid," perfect for kids who grew up in America during the 1990s, in my opinion the best decade in history, right before 9/11, economy was on the up and up (America was actually running a surplus instead of increasing deficit like we are now), minimal wars, the CHICAGO BULLS, etc... it was great being a '90s kid. And part of being a '90s kid was the prevalence of Robin Williams the actor in my life. I had no concept of Robin Williams in his prior comedy career or his previous movie roles in The World According to Garp, Good, Morning Vietnam.... I just remember him in many of the movies made for kids/ families that I saw at the time: Mrs. Doubtfire, Jumanji, Flubber, Jack... I remember specifically growing up with him on my screen many of the times and after growing up, still renting movies from Blockbuster (remember Blockbuster?) specifically to watch him, in movies like One Hour Photo (kind of a dud) and Insomnia. In most roles he was funny and made me laugh, even in serious roles like Good Will Hunting, and MJ often sites Dead Poets' Society as one of her favorite movies. (I remember my 7th grade English teacher had a poster of Dead Poets' Society in her classroom all the time, not sure if it was inspiring her teaching philosophy or more she just liked the movie or Robin Willaims. I guess one of life's deepest mysteries, I'll never know now). Not a single time watching his movies did I think that there was a deeply disturbed human behind the actor, who had a cocaine addictions in the 1970s and was struggling with alcohol and depression. Finally, the depression caught up to him in 2014 when it all became too tough to take and he took his own life by hanging, same way Anthony Bourdain died, another icon and guy I looked up to.

    In my adult life, I've come to understand that despite having a difficult childhood due to my weight and ehtnicity and overall appearance, I did not suffer from many physical problems or emotional problems, a very lucky break for me that I get to miss out on depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar disease, or any number of various afflictions that can occur to a person. You can have addictions to a whole parade of horribles, from drugs to drinking to smoking to pornography to chocolate to painkillers to gambling. I realize that I'm pretty ignorant about these symptoms and diseases until it actually affects me, which is the case with trying to have a baby. But yea, depression is a really tough one because you're fighting against yourself, and you don't know when that bad side of depression is going to hit and life like a roller coaster of highs and lows, the most thrilling of highs but the deepest valley of lows. That may be why I don't see "I love you" as much to MJ, I just don't get those emotional highs as much and I'm not seeking them, but I also don't suffer the emotional lows and hitting rock bottom, I'm more of a go-cart stay on flat land kind of guy. Robin Williams was apparently not. His highest highs and lowest lows allow him to generate his talent to being a movie star and actor, and even the lows helped him craft stories about himself, but also eventually caused him to kill himself. 

    I'm now going to pay homage to Robin William's art by watching The Birdcage, another movie from those glorious 1990's (1996) where Robin plays a gay couple with Nathan Lane. Ah 1996, another election year, one for which I don't remember as much day to day drama as 2024. The good ole' days of getting home from school, finishing my homework, and watching Robin Williams come from the world inside a board game along with rhinos, hippos, and elephants and fight to beat the game so he can escape that world. And then watch that movie over and over again until I had to return it because it was the only selection I had, no Netflix or Amazon Prime or streaming services to have infinite choices from. The simpler times of life.