Stepping Out of Orbit and Coming Out of the Closet (出轨和出柜)

I've used lots of different websites and type in different search terms to study Asian languages, including "most common Japanese words,"  but some that I find the most useful are sites that post a short, brief news article accompanied with the audio of them reading that article in the native language. Tremendously helpful to develop news-level vocabulary, listen to the intonation of the words, and hear about interesting news stories. For Chinese learners, I recommend this site: 

https://www.slow-chinese.com/

Its latest article is about 2 Chinese terms that sound almost exactly alike except for the different intonation (Chinese has 4 tones that differentiate similarly sounding terms that baffle non-native speakers). 出轨 (Chugui) means falling out of orbit, and it has a similar idea to familiar English terms like "stepping out" on someone, or going outside the relationship, cheating, etc. The second one, 出柜, is probably derived directly from the English phrase "come out of the closet," which means someone reveals to the world that they are LGBT. 

It's a shame that sometimes being LGBT, 出柜, is considered more of a crime or at least less morally acceptable than 出轨, or cheating on a spouse. Cheating on a spouse is a very conscious act, the cheater is very much in control of what he or she is doing and with full knowledge of their activities and the implications, while being LGBT is often genetically determined and biological. In some societies, or at least social circles like Chinese elite business/government leaders, it seems, cheating on one's spouse is OK and considered "normal" activity, whereas LGBT people are the victims of hate crimes and targets of abuse. It really should be the other way around and shows how world citizens' values should be improved. 

Coming out of the closet has to be one of the most difficult experiences of a young person's life, especially when they reveal it to their parents. I couldn't imagine if I was gay and had to reveal to my parents this supposedly shameful secret, although by accounts gay people didn't do anything wrong, they didn't "choose" to like the same gender. America is a relatively open country (at least in Los Angeles it is), but in other parts of the world much less open and forgiving, and in some countries it is seen as a crime. I can barely even muster the courage to tell my parents I got into a car accident or got a C in 7th grade home economics, much less something more serious that effects the rest of my life. 

It's also tricky as a non-gay person to try to "identify" gay people, and the term "gay-dar" is a little uncomfortable for me. The worst thing that can happen is you misidentify someone as gay, like one contestant on Survivor did a few years ago, revealing to the tribe that a fellow tribemate was transgender when not everyone had known about it yet. Gay-dar can cause people to use stereotypes that "set off" their gay-dar and unnecessarily label certain characteristics and personality types as "gay" characteristics, which might not be true. On the other side of the spectrum, I've often been teased by gay people as to why I didn't know they were gay sooner, and they're proud of their homosexuality (which they should be). The lesson is just to be sensitive, be understanding of what LGBT had to go through at home to be out as LGBT, and have an open mind about who they are. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan