Korea (韓国)

I always have preconceptions about countries that I haven't been to before, and those stereotypes and assumptions get shattered within hours of landing in that country. I think I've been conditioned by what I read, watch, and hear from others to judge somewhere before I actually go somewhere, and it's really a "You have to be there to experience it" sort of situation. Before visiting Korea, I thought they were a mini version of China or Japan, the food mostly tasty and reddish like Kimchi, sounds a lot like "Gangnam Style, people look a certain way ( not sure what the prototypical Korean face would look like, but I've seen enough Korean men and women to have gotten an idea). Maybe like a little brother country to China and Japan, not quite there as a world leader and speaking a weird language. Boy have I learned so much from MJ over the last couple years about the country (the emphasis on being healthy, studying to get into good schools, etc., etc.) , but there's nothing like actually visiting and experiencing firsthand. 

Observations of Korea (mainly just Seoul and Busan): 

1.) Orange taxis is one way of distinguishing oneself from all the other cars, and a unique color for taxis. 
2) could be clear as day with no precipitation for days, but Asians will use umbrellas while walking under the sun- its more for sun than rain, and given the southern areas most Asian cities occupy, a necessary accessory.
3.) On the third day in Korea, dust blew in from China. Made the skies around Busan cloudy.... seems to be a big issue nowadays, inheriting pollution and waste from an unaccommodating neighbor. Negative externalities! I tried to explain to MJ that even though I was born in China, I had no hand in creating the pollution! It wasn't me! 
4.) Lots of western influences. Starbucks, McDonald's, I almost made the mistake of trying one of the American restaurants, which I've tried not to do in foreign countries anymore, instead to try the local cuisine, no matter how stingy I'm feeling. 
5.) Guy wearing a "Leon the Professional" movie shirt. Very obscure movie reference that I fully appreciated. Koreans get it. 

Surprisingly awesome stuff about Korea 

1.) Pharmacies carry a "yogurt" they give for free. Very accommodating! Yay for free stuff! 
2.) Very respectful at many establishments like hospitals/ clinics. MJ was called "Lee Min Jeong nim" which is the Korean equivalent of "Miss Lee Min Jeong!" Very respectful. 
3.) Lots of beautiful looking people! (including my beautiful wife MJ!) I don't know if there is a stereotype as to who the best-looking Asian country is, but Korea has a legitimate claim! Korea has a lot of very good-looking ladies and natural beauties (none as beautiful as MJ of course), so why does everyone insist on plastering so much makeup? Don't get me wrong, I like a lot or Korean culture and I think their men's haircuts are really well done, but the cosmetics just makes every woman... artificial, and makes me question every single face I see as "enhanced" or not. It seems like a race to put on makeup which everyone loses. 
4.) Korean bookstores care much more about studying foreign languages and studying in general than American bookstores, showing what people value in the society. Also lot more people still frequent bookstores as opposed to say, the movie theater(no official stats to back up this claim). 
5.) Very accommodating to foreign visitors! The train systems have English, Mandarin, and Japanese translations of all their instructions. 
6.) Spa World! Korea is known for spas, and in Busan there's something called Spa World which is like the Disney World of Spas. There a variety of spas like Roman candle room (really hot) or ice spa (really cold), an outdoor spring, and that's before mentioning the full bath experience (lots hot tubs to take a dip in before even going into the spa). And you can sleep in the spas! Just like Disney World, you can get lost in Spa World for a day without realizing it. 
7.) Hanbok is a traditional Korean dress for festivals, and we went to a temple where many Koreans were wearing hanbok (kind of like what a kimono is for Japanese, although I'm not sure if Koreans like that comparison). Looks elegant.......maybe MJ and I could try sometime? Even foreigners from other countries came to the temple wearing the hanbok to celebrate the rich tradition of Korean culture. And they're so colorful! An awesome way to express oneself but also be traditional. 
8.) MJ and I mistakenly got in a women-only car on the train one time, and I felt really embarrassed, but I wasn't thrown out or scolded or hissed at or anything, I calmly got out at the next stop and went to the next car. No drama!


There is something distinctly Asian about going to big Asian cities, a cultural difference  in the way people talk, dress, walk, look at you, that makes immersing yourself in one of those cities a vacation in itself. (And I imagine why Asian people come to the US too, to get a different slice of culture.) Now I've visited Korea, and I'm thoroughly impressed. 


Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

ぶらぶらする (Wandering Aimlessly in a Korean shopping mall)

When I go on vacation, I often get lost. I don't use internet in foreign countries and I do pretty well with subway maps and reading street directions to get a general sense of where I am, but it happens to the best of them: I get lost. When I get lost, the worst of me comes out. Here's some of the thoughts I have:


1.) WHERE AM I???? Boku toshita koto ga! (What's gotten into me? It's so unlike me to get lost!)
2.) I should probably head back the way I came and find out where I am!
3.) Instant rejection of No.2 : NO! Turning back is admitting defeat! Onward or else! (For some reason I have a lot of pride about randomly picking directions)
4.) At least I'm getting good exercise (excuse to cover up how hopelessly lost I am)
5.) I should probably ask somebody
6.) Instant rejection of No. 5: NO! Asking someone is admitting defeat! I'll do it myself! (More nonsensical pride)
7.) I sweat so easily. Especially outside, a short walk in medium temperatures can make my body wet and sweat through my shirt, adding to the panic.
8.) Panic! I only have x amount of time to get where I'm going!
9.) (Curse word!) (Curse word!) (Curse word!)
10.) I'm tired!
11.) I'm wasting time going in circles! I'll never get those 5 minutes I just spent circling around back! Noo!!!!!!
12.) (If driving: When did the guy in front of me just cut me off? C'mon dude!) -cause of road rage.

Now imagine all those things about getting lost apply, and then add the part of a timeline for being somewhere, and that lovely MJ was waiting for me (when MJ waits for me, she looks in the direction of where I should be coming from and looks straight ahead unblinking, like a woman on the beach waiting for her husband's ship to arrive home - I've snuck up on her and witnessed this firsthand). It's a very loving and heartwarming symbol of her devotion and affection, but it also puts a lot of pressure on me.

Korean shopping malls are a bit of a maze, especially the Shinsegae mall in Busan, really put me to shame and humbled me quite a bit. First of all, there's 2 parallel buildings that are connected by a small walkway, and being in one can easily be mistaken for being in the other. MJ and I had gone earlier in the day to a bookstore in the shopping mall, and after splitting up at Spa World (a Disney world of spas, more on this later) we decided to meet back at the bookstore. I thought I had plenty of time entering into the mall to get to a bookstore, but immediately I was thrown for a loop by the multiple stories of the mall that all look similar, and the ground floor isn't the bottom floor.......there's a subway level as well as upper levels to the mall. I look around for the mall directory/map.....every mall has one, right? But it's all in Korean! And I've forgotten what the bookstore's name is, it has a Korean name! And I don't know the Korean word for bookstore! Ahhh!!!! I start panicking, I go up one floor by escalator, then wander aimlessly looking for the bookstore, don't find it, backtrack to go downstairs only to find out the escalator down is not in the same location as the escalator up, so I have to go find that, all the while dodging other shoppers who are packed in this mall (there are a LOT of Asian people in this world), I think of asking somone, ANYONE who can help me but I might not even know their directions in Korean, and I still don't know how to say bookstore in Korean! Then I realize there's a PARALLEL building on the other side. Now officially late and know that MJ is probably at the bookstore waiting, her gaze piercing the doorway where I should be coming through any second, she thinks. Ahhh! The one thing I dislike more than getting stuck in traffic and having to wait is making OTHER people wait and have to wait for me! In the parallel building I see familiar stores from our previous visit to the bookstore but STILL can't retrace my steps, there's too many twists and turns, the mall is not built in a square or any discernable shape or structure, seemingly a mass of stairs and escalators in random places. At this point I'm just trying everything and losing all sense of space and time and dimension, just moving my feet forward one at a time hoping I'll eventually catch a glimpse of this elusive bookstore, which might as well be a unicorn or a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow at this point, I just can't find it. I desperately need to get to MJ! She's waiting for me in such a caring and affectionate way!

And then finally my wifi connects and I can send a message to MJ. Thank god for the internet. I am really terrible at being lost.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

社会問題 (Social Issues in a Land 3000 Miles away)

I had a great trip this past week in Korea and Taiwan, made especially so by being able to spend with MJ and allow ourselves to get a deeper understanding of each other, particularly on some social issues that cropped up during our trip. 

I live in one of the heaviest gay populations in the world, Southern California, specially near West Hollywood in Los Angeles, where there are gay pride parades fairly often and liberalism and homosexuality is generally embraced. Not as much, apparently, in Busan, where we ran into a gay pride parade that was being boycotted by anti-gay protesters. Nothing violent or extreme, but there were definitely more people involved than the dog-rights campaign that was also going on. Gay rights v anti-gay protests prominent in Korea proves that it's the big issue of our time. I think One of the major issues some Christians have trouble with is the belief that homosexuals are just heathen beings doing it for their own pleasure, as opposed to loving each other, which is the "love is love" philosophy some espouse. As an objective human being, I wish anti-gay participants would be a little more understanding and try to put themselves in gay people's shoes but also understand they'll never know what it's like to be gay. On the other hand, I agree that gays should be allowed to do what their body pleases and be with whomever they want to be, but don't be so defiant, understand that it takes people a long time to change and not demand equal understanding right away. it's a delicate issue and one that has vehement supporters (and naturally, opponents) on either side: it's really a zero sum game, you either have equal rights for gays or not. the Bible says either you're in violation of your principles (man and woman = marriage, etc.) or not, which is by the way one of the laws of religion is its intolerance towards other ways of thinking/life, but that's another issue. Understanding is required on both sides, which is unfortunately abnormally difficult in this politically charged climate where the country is so divisive (President calling NFL players sons of bitches, for example). 

One other issue is health issurance. Just as Republicans in US Senate failed today in their latest attempt to repeal Obamacare, MJ was RELEASED from the hospital after a minor surgery due to gallbladder inflammation (cholecystitis). It happened very suddenly, and MJ was in pain for half a day before needing to go to the emergency room late at night. It's a really shocking thing, and surgery on top of that was doubly shocking, but luckily for us it happened in South Korea, a nation of universal health insurance. If it was in the US it would have been very expensive to treat, to go to the emergency room, and then to get surgery, EVEN THOUGH we both have insurance (and pay a pretty high premium per month to maintain). Republicans in Senate make it their mission to repeal Obamacare and reportedly deprive millions of Americans with health insurance, yet our country is one of the only developed nations that doesn't have universal health insurance, AND US pays the most in the world for health insurance. Something's wrong there. It's that feeling of dread when you hear that your loved one has some kind of sickness, that wrenching, devastating feeling is already enough without having to worry about costs, you just want your loved one that get better immediately, no matter how expensive it is. There's certainly more complicated issues than "let's have universal health care! Implement immediately!" but MJ's situation really was a wakeup call that health emergencies can happen to anyone at anytime, even healthy-feeling and looking people. None of us know when we're going to die (I thought I was going to die with the amount of turbulence on the plane back from Taipei to LA), or when we're going to suffer some sort of medical crisis. It's not MJ's fault, it's not the sick person's fault, it's no one's fault, but the sick person can get stuck with a ridiculous medical bill that they can't afford, especially without insurance (and sometimes even with insurance). It's a huge problem that the US faces, and hopefully it'll trend toward the right path of universal healthcare, not repealing for political gain. 



I also was encouraged by the fact that Korea had Japanese and Chinese translations everywhere (on buses, on trains, at various tourist locations), solidifying my theory about the four major languages all interacting with each other. They all have major cities very close to each other, think Los Angeles-Vegas or Los Angeles-San Francisco close, and their cultures and languages, even the way the way people look (hairstyles, makeup) and the cities are built look so close together, and most importantly, how they spend money (big consumer markets). Knowing all 3 Asian languages and cultures, I think is a great way to get into that Golden Triangle of commerce and innovation at some point. In some ways, the 21st century will be defined by whose society prevails over others and finds the more successful path to world leadership, and that might just be the predominant social issue of all. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Backpack (リュックサック)

In Japan, they call a kids' backpack that they wear to school a "ryukkusakku," probably derived from the English name "rucksack," which is a word in English but not used very commonly. 

Backpacking is a very common method of travel, the "economy" style if you well, without much luggage and that many clothes at all, perfect for walking long distances at a time and going from different lodging to lodging, maybe not even having a set place to stay at all. Very common for hiking in the countryside, mountains, rural areas, and good for people who stay at youth hostels. I personally get a kick out of backpacking, the romantic notion of exploring a city or country with no set plan and going from one place to the next without having to stop at for hotels, etc., but also the notion that you're alone in the world, away from the workplace, the hustle and bustle, the daily routine and obligations, just you by yourself and your shoes and clothes........and your backpack. In many ways, the backpack is a symbol of freedom, of allowing a person to get on the road and be free (and not be burdened by 3 huge suitcases and dragging them to the hotel). When you're all alone in the world, late at night and you have nothing else to hold onto, at least you have your backpack. When I've sat for awhile and am going on to the next place, the first thing I look for to make sure I have is my backpack: I can physically feel it on my shoulders. I've forgotten a lot of stuff during my many trips around the world: money, umbrellas, keys, etc., but never my backpack :it's always placed neatly on my shoulders. 

I've always pondered when walking around different countries that my backpack has the best position: he gets to ride for free in the airplane, (not like checked luggage), he gets the most important assignments like holding food, water, personal items, money, etc, and it gets a free ride around the world on my back. It does no work but sees everything! It's actually a pretty mutually beneficial relationship- the backpack isn't too imposing or overly heavy, it fits into some tight spaces, and it's built to fit securely on your back without falling off. 

MJ is now my backpack. She has a very comfy seat because she rides with me and gets to come with me on romantic and often glorious vacations all over the world, but she also provides support in terms of holding travel documents, tickets, passport, etc. When I now feel alone in the world on vacation and go on an adventure, I can share it with MJ, and instead of just getting the cold unresponsive reply back like the fabric of a backpack, MJ can give human responses and share in the experience; she's much better than a backpack, but with that same feeling of assurance and companionship that goes with traveling together to different ends of the world, knowing that she'll always be there. Just like I won't forget my backpack because it's strapped around my body, I won't forget MJ because she's permanently attached to my hand.....she feels like an extension of my body now. 

On our most recent trip to Taiwan and  Korea, MJ was just what I needed as a travel companion and more: Not only did she go wherever I directed her, she act as the GPS too in Korea, knowing everything about her hometown Busan and even many parts of Seoul. 


Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

The Year of the Cock (雄鳥)

수탉

雄鳥 = rooster in Japanese. 

I don't believe in the 12 Chinese zodiac signs much, but it's a big deal in Asian societies: Chinese, Korean, and Japanese. The Hilton resort at big island in Hawaii certainly makes a big deal out of it: amidst a Disneyland-like cornucopia of onsite goodies like a waterfall, tram between hotel buildings, water slides, an artifact exhibit in the lobby befitting an art museum,  they have all 12 statues of the Chinese zodiac surrounding their pool area, a little creepy at night.

I'm not a superstitious guy, but sometimes good mojo, good juju, fengshui, vibes, whatever you want to call it, flows together. This year, the year of the rooster/ cock (whatever you wanna call it), just flows together. Last year, 2016, just was a perfect alignment of all things baseball in that the Cubs finally won the World Series while I finally returned home to Chicago for an extended stint. I've taken up the rooster as the "sigil of my house" or more importantly to my identity, my fantasy baseball team name. Someone has to take up the cocks, right? I guess in the U.S. a select few times go with the Chicken as their team mascot like the South Carolina Gamecocks or Toledo Mud Hens, but it's far and few between compared to the Dogs, Tigers, Dragons, and more ferocious animals. 

In Hawaii, roosters go around everywhere, and apparently they can fly! (Those wings aren't just for eating!) Like deer in the Japanese city of Nara, these roosters just walk around the Hawaiian islands like they own the place, in public, not a worry in the world for any of them. There seems to be no fear of some plain citizen just going up and stealing one right from under someone's nose, neither.

My parents have blackmail pictures of myself as a 3 year old kid in China trying to capture a chicken in a backyard (which subsequently was used as dinner, so not so happy ending), me waddling unsteadily trying to capture a cock that was waddling around unsteadily, probably an amusing site for most parents. Probably since then, I've always held a somewhat comradely feeling for cocks, despite how ugly they may be. I've tried to take up eating more eggs than chicken, with limited success due to the abundance of chicken and more attractive price as compared to any other meat ( I guess there is a lot of cocks in this world).


Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Lessons from a Wedding

MJ and I read a bunch of these "what you wish you had known about weddings" type of articles before Our wedding and a lot of stuff is very applicable: the wedding goes very quickly, something will go wrong no matter how much you plan for it, give wedding envelopes to vendors, etc....Here's 9 things I wish I would have known (Since our wedding was on 9/9): 

1) weddings are one of the most inefficient things one does in a lifetime: like what must be hundreds of hours of planning (if combined between Mj and I and close family members) for an event that's shorter than some baseball games. You can't let that bother you, however, and just gotta get over it and make those 5 hours one of the greatest times in your life. All the little details MJ planned (Im not great with detail) panned out in the end: getting cool wedding socks that matched my suit, awesome hangover kit that was just what my best man needed the next morning when he ran a marathon, flowers, makeup, etc, etc. everything just came together gloriously. I'll take some credit for handling the DJ and the officiant. And for BIG picture stuff (emphasis on big) like costs for the wedding.

2) less is more. Weddings seem to be all about extravagance and the aforementioned "that'll be extra!" Philosophy, but there's certainly aspects that allow for reduction, such as the length of speeches (audience loses attention span quickly, length of vows, length of just about anything). But also less is more in terms of guest count: you can get more genuine conversations out of those precious 5 hours where everyone is running around being busy if there are less people to go around and people's attentions aren't divided.

3) have another wedding weekend event other than the wedding. Best thing I did was to have another event scheduled so I actually got to meet people and have a nice conversation. Assume you're not going to be able to talk to guests much more than a brief "how do you do?" And then get a one-liner in there and then it's onto the next guest to talk to!

4) it really is a paradox of life: the arguably biggest event of one's life, the one even distant relatives and friends will take time to come out for, the event where unlike every other wedding you go to, you'll know everyone who attended, is the one you have the least time to talk to everybody. I wish I could be like Prince Shotoku of ancient Japanese lore, who could listen to 10 people at the same time and understand them all.

5) some guests will inevitably come brutally early and leave brutally late, like after dinner early. I don't know if social customs of weddings were like that back in the day, but nowadays people have conflicting schedules and whatnot, just be happy they all show up and not cancel at the very last second. I have definitely been guilt of this at weddings I have attended and now am conscious of it for future weddings I might get invited to: stay for as long as possible to show respect and be respectful of the day, don't make it seem like just showing your face quickly out if obligation (Japanese people call it kaodase).

6) make sure everyone gets some appetizers. Some guests will get more appetizers than others. Try to distribute evenly or at least instruct servers to.

7) Smile a lot. You never know when someone's taking a picture (especially since we had 2 pro photographers taking shots), so look the best at all times. Don't pick your nose.

8) bucking some conventions is fine. We replaced wedding cake with cupcakes and other dessert, the earth didn't cave in on itself. We didn't have a bouquet toss, no one even mentioned it. No garter thing, no bridal party. Just more time for talking to people and having fun.

9) the getting a good night before advice isn't just for appearance sake or memorizing speeches. It's also great for holding memories of that day forever, which I will from now on. Everything from the fresh feel of the whole outfit, to the smell and sights and sounds of the garden, from all the faces focusing on Mj and I when we were holding our ceremony, to just the chaos of dancing and squeezing so many events in and stretching out the evening before the night ruthlessly comes to a close. It was the best night of my life, and I was able to get a full night's sleep to clear out the memory banks and then feed it with the best time of my life.


Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Life Hack: What Myths were Invented by the Commercial Industry?

Top myths I was infuses with by my parents/ society in general that just aren't true:


1) Three meals a day is something that the food industry invented. You can get by with 2 if your body gets used to it.

2) You have to book tickets way in advance- the airline industry, travel industry in general obviously want to get you signed up and committed and money asap, and also know how many more tickets they can sell to unsuspecting chaps.... these days based on my job and changing work schedules I either get a refundable/changeable ticket (think southwest) or just wait til last minute and take my chances rates don't go up.  It's like a guessing game between you and the hotel/ airline: I find it's not high season, you call call their bluff and wait.


3) You have to go to departures when leaving and arrivals when picking someone up- obviously not at places like lax where the two levels are just right on top of each other. Save self some time and go to the less crowded one.

4) Tipping- urg. You can't encourage a society where people EXPECT to be tipped and get upset if they don't. Hawaii is a tipping-reliant society and based on the tourism industry, i get that, but it kind of ruins the whole experience of traveling if you have to tip the rental car driver, the valet at your hotel, the bartender, the tour guide, the receptionist at the restaurant who passes you your TAKEOUT, it's almost as if everyone you meet on vacation needs to be tipped, and not even for doing anything extra, just doing your job. How did this whole notion of tipping get started? Asian countries don't have it. It's America's and certain other societies' way of subsidizing the middle lower class and service industry that the government itself fails to do, levying yet another tax on the consumer.
Bottom line: tipping is not a legally required exercise, just a social obligation. Not even a moral obligation, people do it cuz they don't want to get someone angry, but it's almost as bad to see someone you just tipped with your hard-earned money (tax-free btw, you're welcome service industry employees) just take it like they're offenses you didn't give more.

5) You have to let loose and "relax" when on vacation.

"Aloha" and "Mahalo"- 2 words I heard the most on vacation in Hawaii, outwardly a sign of friendship and greeting but said by too many people in the service industry sounds like "how can we make you give us your money?" And "relax, you're on vacation" but while you're relaxing, also relax your wallet and spend money."

6) You gotta spend at least x amount of days on y vacation location. In my experience, unless you have a school commitment or contractual obligation to be somewhere, always cut x number by 25 to 50 percent, and don't overrate y as the end all and be all. Tourist locations love to have you the consumer stay longer and spend more money on their restaurants and hotels. I should open up my own location in suburban Camarillo and advertise "come to Camarillo! You'll love our public parks and proximity to Costco! Gotta stay at least 3 days!" I can get a lot done in a day, especially if I find my way somewhere quickly (I'm a good navigator and tireless traveler) and don't stay somewhere too long (enough to take a picture, walk the grounds, and get out)

7) Have to eat the native food in the location: I ate Hawaiian poke on the big island... not the best. The most authentic food is usually jacked up in price. The phrase "tourist trap" comes to mind.

8) You have to stay at a fancy resort as a guest. You don't have to stay there to visit there! Hawaii in particular had some awesome resorts. We went to like 8 of them, actually a guest at 3 of them. Four seasons, Hilton, Sheraton, Fairmount, whatever fancy luxury resort you want to talk about, they all let the public go in and look around, and really, isn't that at least half the value, the ambiance and experiencing the resort? Certainly that's what the "resort fee" (that gets taxed too btw) should encompass, right? The other part of the hotel experience is just sleeping in the room, which I can do almost anywhere (Mj can't, I can)

9) Christmas 


Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

爪に火をともす (Penny Pinching)

A Japanese proverb that means "someone's who's so cheap he lights his fingernails to start a fire instead of a candle."

10 Disadvantages of being cheap/ stingy like me:

1.) Look very disappointingly haggard on ESPN. All other teams and players wearing fancy equipment, tights, hair product, etc.....I look like a guy who just got pulled off the street.
2.) Don't eat good food.....cheap food tends to be unhealthy, and unhealthy food tends to be cheap. Not always, but there's a reason why people get organic fruits, organic eggs, etc .