Sunday, April 23, 2017

Taking a leap in the dark (清水の舞台から飛び降りる)

This is a weird Japanese idiom, I can barely say it despite having the word right in front of me, but basically there's a famous temple in Kyoto called Kiyomizu (I've actually been there, it's quite a scenic location especially with the autumn leaves), and in olden days there would be a stage for geisha and other performances from there. It's also pretty high up, as it requires a long set of stairs to go up there, so you can imagine what kind of courage it took to take a leap from the Kiyomizu stage, not knowing how far down it would be, or as the story goes (this is one of the things I love about learning new languages, the background of how these idioms form, knowing that people actually did this kind of stuff, and a story/legend was born. Anyway, it means to take a bold plunge, despite not fully knowing the consequences and risks of the plunge, because it's worth it.

MJ and I drove around LA today and saw more luxury apartments (see the luxury apartments rant a few weeks ago). But this time there was something even a step above that: Ultra luxurious apartments! That's right, since there's no regulations on how much one can exaggerate the luxuriousness of the apartments they're selling, why not call it ULTRA luxurious apartments! At this rate, I'd hate to live in a non-luxury apartment, sounds awful. Luckily, MJ and I took a deep plunge a couple weeks ago and got a new apartment! The first time I've signed an official lease start to finish (I've shared apartments with people, rented out a room, lived in AirBnB, lived with my parents, etc., etc.), but it all went pretty smoothly, didn't hurt that we got some nice move-in specials like half off security deposit, 6 weeks of free rent, and free parking. (In downtown LA, that's pretty nice). And we're pretty close to the subway. I was still reluctant at first to lock ourselves into a thousands-of-dollar plan that we won't get anything back on at the end of (maybe the experiences), but sometimes, I guess, you have to take the Bill O'Reilly "Fuck it, we'll do it live approach!" and take some chances, live a little.

That's what I've lacked in my early years and 20's, the ability to just say "F it, let's do it before I regret it." And now I regret it. From telling girls I like them to not going on that wonderful vacation to not taking chances in my career, I kinda chickened out at the last second on some stuff in my 20's, when that's really the time to take chances, fail a few times if you have to, learn from them, and get up from your injuries if you did sustain them (like I'm guessing some people did after falling from the temple). Luckily, I also came away with some good things that I did take the plunge for, like running the marathon (man, what was I thinking! probably wouldn't have done it had I known what was in store, but did it anyway), dodgeball (one of the best things that's happened to me), learning Japanese (tied for 2nd place in one of the best chances I've ever taken, a 4-year process but it's finally paying off), but most importantly telling MJ how I felt about her and taking the plunge to share our life together. All of those things are similar: I felt the potential rewards at the end of the day would be greater than the potential losses, and even though I wasn't 100% sure of success and there was risk of epic failure (wasting years of my life, catastrophic injury, embarassment, and being emotionally scarred for the rest of my life, not necessarily in those order), I took a plunge, and I'm a pretty lucky guy, so those panned out.

Sure, there's some things I took the plunge for that did NOT work out: working at my first legal job, trying to get on TV through the Amazing Race/ Survivor (those shows STILL ON btw and I'm still intrigued by them, 15 years later their concepts are still pretty hypnotizing), but just like in baseball, you can't bat 1.000. I've learned to take the plunge sometimes even when my cowardly side says no, consider the upside first. With that, our trampoline dodgeball team will try to qualify for the national championship this season.......in another state. It's a long way to go for a dodgeball tournament, but the upside......possibly being declared a championship of a sport I love......is immense. Here's hoping for a great and epic ride from the top of Kiyomizu temple.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

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