Recently while MJ and I have been apartment hunting (it really should be called "golddigging" or "dreaming" because getting the exact right type of apartment for the budget is looking for is like hitting the lottery), a familiar advertisement pops up on signs outside apartments, billboards, on their corporate websites: LUXURY APARTMENTS! ONE OR TWO BEDROOM! Come on, Come all! That's if, btw, these apartments find it in their hearts to be available to you, after you pass a rigorous screening process of proving sufficient income, no prior evictions, etc. What do you get at the end of the rainbow? It sounds nice, these so-called "luxury" apartments, evoking images of crystal chandeliers, towering fountains, fresh cut lawns, airy lofts and pristine bathrooms. But what exactly is luxury, as the term is construed in LA? Turns out, "luxury" apartments are whatever their management companies deem to be luxury in their opinion . MJ and I recently went to some luxury one-bedroom apartments in Culver City for a low-low $2000 a month (that's just the rent! utilities and water are extra, and who knows how much they take out of your security deposit!). The carpet was dirty, the walls were cracking, the kitchen smelled of mold, and the view out of the window was of some guy's backyard. Not exactly thrilling and homely in any sense of the word, much less "luxury."
My image of "luxury": brand-new, never-been-lived in fresh smell.
Apartment's image of "luxury": built in the 1970's, they'll come by and clean it up once in a while for the new tenants.
My image of "luxury": covered parking lot for car, maybe a valet, elevator guiding you from garage to your apartment:
Apartment's image of "luxury": tandem parking space so you get blocked in if someone parks behind you, open air so birds can poop onto your car at night and sun shines down to make the car really hot.
My image of "luxury": gym services, central clubhouse area, maybe a movie room, fountains in the courtyard to look more like a community.
Apartment's image of "luxury": tiny room with a treadmill and some dead weights, cramped dining-hall space connected to the mail room and real estate office where they try to sign you up on the spot, dirty-looking open air swimming pool built back in the 70's.
My image of "luxury": views of the San Gabriel mountains, maybe a coastal view of Venice or Santa Monica or somewhere along the Pacific Ocean, maybe of the cityline of Los Angeles, Hollywood sign visibility would be nice
Apartment's image of "luxury"- the great sights and sounds of........Culver City, the New Jersey (aka "Armpit" of New York, and that's if you're lucky......the guy showing us around sure sold the view to the fullest, pausing for dramatic effect before opening the windows to reveal the masterpiece of the view, sighing several times in the full minute he took to enjoy the view of suburban apartments and flat hills with no bodies of water, then remarking thanking his lucky stars for the ability to see this view every day like it was of the French Riviera or downtown Manhattan. Dude, it's Culver City, CA. Relax.
So yea, next time you stop into one of these "luxury" apartments, make sure you stop by the "luxury" taco food trucks lest you get hungry, or invest in a "luxury" Yelp or Zillow app before you make an appointment to see what others have said, and be willing to take a chunk out of your luxury (not sarcastic this time, you WILL need to pay a luxury lifestyle-type cost to afford these) paycheck to apply for one of their units. That's the "luxury" real estate market we live in today.....at least here in LA.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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