Now that we're getting all settled in, MJ and I are planning a housewarming party!
Kind of like a wedding, except on a much smaller scale. I guess it'll be a small test of whether we can actually host a successful party or not.
When I was a kid and even young 20-something, I didn't understand why parties had to be the way they were: everyone gets together, brings some food, gathers together, talk, drink, and that's the evening. I guess I was confused most by this "talking" element: what purpose does it serve, isn't it more productive to play some games, have interactive activities, do something more than just something you could do on the phone? I grew up in an environment I guess of activity, when the neighborhood got together it was to play video games, go outside to the park, play baseball, etc. And even at parties when the adults were busy doing whatever adults did, the kids would usually have a play area and do fun stuff like video games or watch a fun movie or play a board game or something, and in fact that was one of the few times I didn't have to worry about my parents scolding me for frolicking (fooling around) instead of studying (since they were also frolicking and felt guilty) and I could have as much sugar as I wanted and get super excited on a Saturday night.
As I grew older, I had to abide by the rules of the social norms and do what other people wanted to so as not to get cast out, become a loner. I've gotten pretty good at it, actually; I usually have a couple go-to one-liners to insert in a conversation to force a laugh or two, then try to get to know someone by asking questions, injecting some minor, non-polarizing commentary in. I've gotten good at it, but I still don't quite get it: why IS the theme of parties always "to talk and have conversation?" Why can't the point of parties be, "hey we're all going to play ping pong?" Or we're gonna play this board game? I guess the answer is simple: The more adult you get, the more people's schedules conflict, the more people come late to parties so they'd feel left out if they weren't there for the beginning of something, or have to leave early, or have another party they need to get to. It feels like everyone's got something going on somewhere.
Here are the main things that becomes a standard for parties:
1.) Parking is very difficult to find. It's almost standard to warn people, "work out carpools or ubers." Probably better that you don't drive to a place anyway, but easier said than done when the location is very far away and not in reach of public transportation.
2.) People always arrive at least an hour later.......standard time to let the party get started, etc. I've been mistakenly on time for a few parties and been there talking to the host(s) awkwardly for awhile.
3.) always too many people bringing the same alcohol to a BYOB party.
4.) try to say hi to the hosts, but they're caught up in a conversation with other people and it'd be rude to interrupt their conversation, but you'd like to get their attention......
5.) start watching sports during lulls when there's nothing to do.
There's also this: The older I get,I understand the "meeting in person" part of being together at a party: spending time with someone, having a real live, in-person experience is important, to have them physically be present in the same room. There are so many college roommate bonding experiences I wish I could get back but it's now impossible with people being married and having kids and all, and it'd just be creepy. All the alternative spring break trips I've been on, the camp counseling experiences, even the company happy hours or Halloween parties, all of those are experiences with other people that we won't be able to replicate. That's really one of the underrated components of a wedding or a party I guess: to get everyone in the same place at the same time, to unite in a single cause to have fun, and just chill. Without needing to duck out early.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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