The status quo is an interesting word from Latin that means keeping the same status, and it has an equivalent phrase in Japanese.
Status quo is a nice thing to have: it means consistency, it means predictability, it means being able to feel safe and focus on other things. Have too much status quo, though, and it feels like others are passing you by, and instead of staying level with others you feel like you're falling behind. That's what I feel like sometimes in the age of technology and rapid societal changes: I feel like the 1990s were the best decade in the history of modern civilization, and that we cant go back to those times: if only, if only it could be the 1990s forever: I could forever be a teenager, the economy would be at an all time high and even producing a surplus, and there would always feel like there were brighter days ahead, which was awesome if we can anticipate them tomorrow, not awesome if the future suddenly arrives, goes past, and you realize you've already used it up like wasted youth or a free coupon to your favorite restaurant, and now there's nothing to look forward to anymore except machines and artificial intelligence taking over everyone's job, people choosing emojis and short text messages over real conversations with other people, and social inequality up the yin yang with a slow dissection of the middle class. That's not exactly the status quo society I want to live in .
Status quo can be achieved by having place at home, to know where one is going to go home for the night every night. For a few years now, I've been what's called "a nomad," going from place to place. But now with MJ, we've created a home where we can achieve a status quo. It's nice, but it also requires lots of furniture, which I hadn't really needed for a while.........say hello to IKEA! IKEA apparently has a similar reputation (and in-store feel) as Costco. A huge warehouse in Burbank with apparently all the things one would ever need to furnish a home, including beds, sofas, chairs, bookcases, even fake flowers and artwork. There's so much stuff that it becomes difficult to keep the STATUS QUO in your bank account/ funds.
IKEA's furniture assembly is complicated and a bit time consuming ( I was not able to maintain my status quo of watching Amazing Race episodes - still going on in Season 29! Unbelievable!) this week but was able to assemble all our furniture. It's actually kind a like of puzzle with an instruction manual: not terribly difficult to understand the directions, nails and screws included, and the general end product is depicted on the packaging.
Come to think of it, moving into a new place is like a puzzle: It's fun to have the pieces lying around indicating possibilities and the potential thrill of putting all those pieces together ONE DAY, but at some point it's nice to put'em all together into an end product status quo and enjoy the full picture after awhile.
Sunday, April 30, 2017
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Taking a leap in the dark (清水の舞台から飛び降りる)
This is a weird Japanese idiom, I can barely say it despite having the word right in front of me, but basically there's a famous temple in Kyoto called Kiyomizu (I've actually been there, it's quite a scenic location especially with the autumn leaves), and in olden days there would be a stage for geisha and other performances from there. It's also pretty high up, as it requires a long set of stairs to go up there, so you can imagine what kind of courage it took to take a leap from the Kiyomizu stage, not knowing how far down it would be, or as the story goes (this is one of the things I love about learning new languages, the background of how these idioms form, knowing that people actually did this kind of stuff, and a story/legend was born. Anyway, it means to take a bold plunge, despite not fully knowing the consequences and risks of the plunge, because it's worth it.
MJ and I drove around LA today and saw more luxury apartments (see the luxury apartments rant a few weeks ago). But this time there was something even a step above that: Ultra luxurious apartments! That's right, since there's no regulations on how much one can exaggerate the luxuriousness of the apartments they're selling, why not call it ULTRA luxurious apartments! At this rate, I'd hate to live in a non-luxury apartment, sounds awful. Luckily, MJ and I took a deep plunge a couple weeks ago and got a new apartment! The first time I've signed an official lease start to finish (I've shared apartments with people, rented out a room, lived in AirBnB, lived with my parents, etc., etc.), but it all went pretty smoothly, didn't hurt that we got some nice move-in specials like half off security deposit, 6 weeks of free rent, and free parking. (In downtown LA, that's pretty nice). And we're pretty close to the subway. I was still reluctant at first to lock ourselves into a thousands-of-dollar plan that we won't get anything back on at the end of (maybe the experiences), but sometimes, I guess, you have to take the Bill O'Reilly "Fuck it, we'll do it live approach!" and take some chances, live a little.
That's what I've lacked in my early years and 20's, the ability to just say "F it, let's do it before I regret it." And now I regret it. From telling girls I like them to not going on that wonderful vacation to not taking chances in my career, I kinda chickened out at the last second on some stuff in my 20's, when that's really the time to take chances, fail a few times if you have to, learn from them, and get up from your injuries if you did sustain them (like I'm guessing some people did after falling from the temple). Luckily, I also came away with some good things that I did take the plunge for, like running the marathon (man, what was I thinking! probably wouldn't have done it had I known what was in store, but did it anyway), dodgeball (one of the best things that's happened to me), learning Japanese (tied for 2nd place in one of the best chances I've ever taken, a 4-year process but it's finally paying off), but most importantly telling MJ how I felt about her and taking the plunge to share our life together. All of those things are similar: I felt the potential rewards at the end of the day would be greater than the potential losses, and even though I wasn't 100% sure of success and there was risk of epic failure (wasting years of my life, catastrophic injury, embarassment, and being emotionally scarred for the rest of my life, not necessarily in those order), I took a plunge, and I'm a pretty lucky guy, so those panned out.
Sure, there's some things I took the plunge for that did NOT work out: working at my first legal job, trying to get on TV through the Amazing Race/ Survivor (those shows STILL ON btw and I'm still intrigued by them, 15 years later their concepts are still pretty hypnotizing), but just like in baseball, you can't bat 1.000. I've learned to take the plunge sometimes even when my cowardly side says no, consider the upside first. With that, our trampoline dodgeball team will try to qualify for the national championship this season.......in another state. It's a long way to go for a dodgeball tournament, but the upside......possibly being declared a championship of a sport I love......is immense. Here's hoping for a great and epic ride from the top of Kiyomizu temple.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
MJ and I drove around LA today and saw more luxury apartments (see the luxury apartments rant a few weeks ago). But this time there was something even a step above that: Ultra luxurious apartments! That's right, since there's no regulations on how much one can exaggerate the luxuriousness of the apartments they're selling, why not call it ULTRA luxurious apartments! At this rate, I'd hate to live in a non-luxury apartment, sounds awful. Luckily, MJ and I took a deep plunge a couple weeks ago and got a new apartment! The first time I've signed an official lease start to finish (I've shared apartments with people, rented out a room, lived in AirBnB, lived with my parents, etc., etc.), but it all went pretty smoothly, didn't hurt that we got some nice move-in specials like half off security deposit, 6 weeks of free rent, and free parking. (In downtown LA, that's pretty nice). And we're pretty close to the subway. I was still reluctant at first to lock ourselves into a thousands-of-dollar plan that we won't get anything back on at the end of (maybe the experiences), but sometimes, I guess, you have to take the Bill O'Reilly "Fuck it, we'll do it live approach!" and take some chances, live a little.
That's what I've lacked in my early years and 20's, the ability to just say "F it, let's do it before I regret it." And now I regret it. From telling girls I like them to not going on that wonderful vacation to not taking chances in my career, I kinda chickened out at the last second on some stuff in my 20's, when that's really the time to take chances, fail a few times if you have to, learn from them, and get up from your injuries if you did sustain them (like I'm guessing some people did after falling from the temple). Luckily, I also came away with some good things that I did take the plunge for, like running the marathon (man, what was I thinking! probably wouldn't have done it had I known what was in store, but did it anyway), dodgeball (one of the best things that's happened to me), learning Japanese (tied for 2nd place in one of the best chances I've ever taken, a 4-year process but it's finally paying off), but most importantly telling MJ how I felt about her and taking the plunge to share our life together. All of those things are similar: I felt the potential rewards at the end of the day would be greater than the potential losses, and even though I wasn't 100% sure of success and there was risk of epic failure (wasting years of my life, catastrophic injury, embarassment, and being emotionally scarred for the rest of my life, not necessarily in those order), I took a plunge, and I'm a pretty lucky guy, so those panned out.
Sure, there's some things I took the plunge for that did NOT work out: working at my first legal job, trying to get on TV through the Amazing Race/ Survivor (those shows STILL ON btw and I'm still intrigued by them, 15 years later their concepts are still pretty hypnotizing), but just like in baseball, you can't bat 1.000. I've learned to take the plunge sometimes even when my cowardly side says no, consider the upside first. With that, our trampoline dodgeball team will try to qualify for the national championship this season.......in another state. It's a long way to go for a dodgeball tournament, but the upside......possibly being declared a championship of a sport I love......is immense. Here's hoping for a great and epic ride from the top of Kiyomizu temple.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
The Los Angeles Effect
MJ and I went to the Festival of Books today at USC (otherwise known as "Bookchella" in contrast to the more well-know and more frequented counterpart Coachella) and I couldn't help but ask myself, "do people in Los Angeles read books?" Anecdotal evidence up until now has pointed to the contrary. I saw a college-aged student sitting on the lawn at USC reading a book and I thought, "wow, not in my 3 years of law school did I ever stop and notice anyone doing the prototypical image of reading a book on the lawn of a college campus."
I may be prejudiced, but I do think that people in Los Angeles read less than in other areas of the country. It seems pretty obvious to me: beautiful weather, never rains or snows, beautiful scenery from beaches to mountains, stuff to do like surfing, hiking, running, etc......who has time for reading? Other factors include entertainment being dominated by the music and movie/television scene with all the major studios in town as well as wannabe actors/ musicians, etc., novelists tend to be from some rustic, austere locations like grape country in New Hampshire, etc. At least, that's what I gather from reading the About the Author sections in the cover of books at Barnes and Noble. There's only so much free time in one's life, and in LA there's just so much more to do to occupy that free time, whereas one good rainfall/blizzard in other cities will render 80% of possibilities impossible and make reading become a priority. One of my strongest memories of reading books is curling up after a long day of skiing/being outside in the cold to a book and delving deep into another world, forgetting the present and disregarding what the weather is outside. It's pretty hard to disregard the outside weather when everyone seems to be having fun outside, you know your friends are outside doing something,
Superficiality: It's also much more important in this city to look good more than anything (might be true to differing extents in other cities, too) so much more is paid attention to shops and malls and making oneself look good. I just thought it might be the people who happen to live in LA before but I think a city does have its own culture, its own style of living.........and it doesn't have much to do with books.
LA also seems like a very young people-friendly town, or at least it seems that way. Lots of young people in their 20s-30s move here, or so it seems (I don't blame them), and that's the age group, I feel, that's least likely to read. Children read children's books to learn, teens read classics because they're assigned to them by schools, older people read in book clubs, are wise, and have less options for going outdoors, etc.but young working adults? Not really, they're more focused on living life to its fullest! Hence, coachella. Books don't give the vibe of living life to its fullest (although, they can be!) Social media even purposely mocks people who give too long of responses with "TL;DR" (too long, did not read) or say that someone has "just written a book" in a negative sense.
There's also the whole transportation affect: the commute consists primarily of driving one's car, which is a pretty big deterrent to reading any material. Sure there's audiobooks nowadays, but even as a pretty enthusiastic reader (self-identifying) I find the audiobooks to be too slow and inflexible in terms of going back to a certain passage or re-reading a page when my mind goes blank for a few paragraphs. Other cities have plenty of people in trains and buses reading books; I've seen them with my very own eyes! They do exist! Whereas even in trains in LA people are just trying to get through their day without homeless people getting too close to them. Major problem in LA: smelly trains that don't go to enough places, never get washed, and even relatively new trains like the Expo Line get inundated with homeless people who make the ride experience unbearable to sit and breathe, much less get too into a book (I've tried it, it's rather jarring to get pulled away from a nice passage in a book to have to look up in fear of one's life at a guy cursing and screaming).
Anyway, heard Roxanne Gay talk about feminism and her books about feminism. Really funny author, it's people like her that made reading fun for me, and why I might just get back into reading yet. I used to think about why people put "I read 50 books a year" in their bios like it was an accomplishment, now I'm understanding how much of a commitment that really is, unless it's like picture books or young adult fiction or something. And maybe, just maybe, authors like her will get people in LA to go to Bookchella more than Coachella.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I may be prejudiced, but I do think that people in Los Angeles read less than in other areas of the country. It seems pretty obvious to me: beautiful weather, never rains or snows, beautiful scenery from beaches to mountains, stuff to do like surfing, hiking, running, etc......who has time for reading? Other factors include entertainment being dominated by the music and movie/television scene with all the major studios in town as well as wannabe actors/ musicians, etc., novelists tend to be from some rustic, austere locations like grape country in New Hampshire, etc. At least, that's what I gather from reading the About the Author sections in the cover of books at Barnes and Noble. There's only so much free time in one's life, and in LA there's just so much more to do to occupy that free time, whereas one good rainfall/blizzard in other cities will render 80% of possibilities impossible and make reading become a priority. One of my strongest memories of reading books is curling up after a long day of skiing/being outside in the cold to a book and delving deep into another world, forgetting the present and disregarding what the weather is outside. It's pretty hard to disregard the outside weather when everyone seems to be having fun outside, you know your friends are outside doing something,
Superficiality: It's also much more important in this city to look good more than anything (might be true to differing extents in other cities, too) so much more is paid attention to shops and malls and making oneself look good. I just thought it might be the people who happen to live in LA before but I think a city does have its own culture, its own style of living.........and it doesn't have much to do with books.
LA also seems like a very young people-friendly town, or at least it seems that way. Lots of young people in their 20s-30s move here, or so it seems (I don't blame them), and that's the age group, I feel, that's least likely to read. Children read children's books to learn, teens read classics because they're assigned to them by schools, older people read in book clubs, are wise, and have less options for going outdoors, etc.but young working adults? Not really, they're more focused on living life to its fullest! Hence, coachella. Books don't give the vibe of living life to its fullest (although, they can be!) Social media even purposely mocks people who give too long of responses with "TL;DR" (too long, did not read) or say that someone has "just written a book" in a negative sense.
There's also the whole transportation affect: the commute consists primarily of driving one's car, which is a pretty big deterrent to reading any material. Sure there's audiobooks nowadays, but even as a pretty enthusiastic reader (self-identifying) I find the audiobooks to be too slow and inflexible in terms of going back to a certain passage or re-reading a page when my mind goes blank for a few paragraphs. Other cities have plenty of people in trains and buses reading books; I've seen them with my very own eyes! They do exist! Whereas even in trains in LA people are just trying to get through their day without homeless people getting too close to them. Major problem in LA: smelly trains that don't go to enough places, never get washed, and even relatively new trains like the Expo Line get inundated with homeless people who make the ride experience unbearable to sit and breathe, much less get too into a book (I've tried it, it's rather jarring to get pulled away from a nice passage in a book to have to look up in fear of one's life at a guy cursing and screaming).
Anyway, heard Roxanne Gay talk about feminism and her books about feminism. Really funny author, it's people like her that made reading fun for me, and why I might just get back into reading yet. I used to think about why people put "I read 50 books a year" in their bios like it was an accomplishment, now I'm understanding how much of a commitment that really is, unless it's like picture books or young adult fiction or something. And maybe, just maybe, authors like her will get people in LA to go to Bookchella more than Coachella.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Housewarming Party 집들이 (Jipdeuri)
Now that we're getting all settled in, MJ and I are planning a housewarming party!
Kind of like a wedding, except on a much smaller scale. I guess it'll be a small test of whether we can actually host a successful party or not.
When I was a kid and even young 20-something, I didn't understand why parties had to be the way they were: everyone gets together, brings some food, gathers together, talk, drink, and that's the evening. I guess I was confused most by this "talking" element: what purpose does it serve, isn't it more productive to play some games, have interactive activities, do something more than just something you could do on the phone? I grew up in an environment I guess of activity, when the neighborhood got together it was to play video games, go outside to the park, play baseball, etc. And even at parties when the adults were busy doing whatever adults did, the kids would usually have a play area and do fun stuff like video games or watch a fun movie or play a board game or something, and in fact that was one of the few times I didn't have to worry about my parents scolding me for frolicking (fooling around) instead of studying (since they were also frolicking and felt guilty) and I could have as much sugar as I wanted and get super excited on a Saturday night.
As I grew older, I had to abide by the rules of the social norms and do what other people wanted to so as not to get cast out, become a loner. I've gotten pretty good at it, actually; I usually have a couple go-to one-liners to insert in a conversation to force a laugh or two, then try to get to know someone by asking questions, injecting some minor, non-polarizing commentary in. I've gotten good at it, but I still don't quite get it: why IS the theme of parties always "to talk and have conversation?" Why can't the point of parties be, "hey we're all going to play ping pong?" Or we're gonna play this board game? I guess the answer is simple: The more adult you get, the more people's schedules conflict, the more people come late to parties so they'd feel left out if they weren't there for the beginning of something, or have to leave early, or have another party they need to get to. It feels like everyone's got something going on somewhere.
Here are the main things that becomes a standard for parties:
1.) Parking is very difficult to find. It's almost standard to warn people, "work out carpools or ubers." Probably better that you don't drive to a place anyway, but easier said than done when the location is very far away and not in reach of public transportation.
2.) People always arrive at least an hour later.......standard time to let the party get started, etc. I've been mistakenly on time for a few parties and been there talking to the host(s) awkwardly for awhile.
3.) always too many people bringing the same alcohol to a BYOB party.
4.) try to say hi to the hosts, but they're caught up in a conversation with other people and it'd be rude to interrupt their conversation, but you'd like to get their attention......
5.) start watching sports during lulls when there's nothing to do.
There's also this: The older I get,I understand the "meeting in person" part of being together at a party: spending time with someone, having a real live, in-person experience is important, to have them physically be present in the same room. There are so many college roommate bonding experiences I wish I could get back but it's now impossible with people being married and having kids and all, and it'd just be creepy. All the alternative spring break trips I've been on, the camp counseling experiences, even the company happy hours or Halloween parties, all of those are experiences with other people that we won't be able to replicate. That's really one of the underrated components of a wedding or a party I guess: to get everyone in the same place at the same time, to unite in a single cause to have fun, and just chill. Without needing to duck out early.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Kind of like a wedding, except on a much smaller scale. I guess it'll be a small test of whether we can actually host a successful party or not.
When I was a kid and even young 20-something, I didn't understand why parties had to be the way they were: everyone gets together, brings some food, gathers together, talk, drink, and that's the evening. I guess I was confused most by this "talking" element: what purpose does it serve, isn't it more productive to play some games, have interactive activities, do something more than just something you could do on the phone? I grew up in an environment I guess of activity, when the neighborhood got together it was to play video games, go outside to the park, play baseball, etc. And even at parties when the adults were busy doing whatever adults did, the kids would usually have a play area and do fun stuff like video games or watch a fun movie or play a board game or something, and in fact that was one of the few times I didn't have to worry about my parents scolding me for frolicking (fooling around) instead of studying (since they were also frolicking and felt guilty) and I could have as much sugar as I wanted and get super excited on a Saturday night.
As I grew older, I had to abide by the rules of the social norms and do what other people wanted to so as not to get cast out, become a loner. I've gotten pretty good at it, actually; I usually have a couple go-to one-liners to insert in a conversation to force a laugh or two, then try to get to know someone by asking questions, injecting some minor, non-polarizing commentary in. I've gotten good at it, but I still don't quite get it: why IS the theme of parties always "to talk and have conversation?" Why can't the point of parties be, "hey we're all going to play ping pong?" Or we're gonna play this board game? I guess the answer is simple: The more adult you get, the more people's schedules conflict, the more people come late to parties so they'd feel left out if they weren't there for the beginning of something, or have to leave early, or have another party they need to get to. It feels like everyone's got something going on somewhere.
Here are the main things that becomes a standard for parties:
1.) Parking is very difficult to find. It's almost standard to warn people, "work out carpools or ubers." Probably better that you don't drive to a place anyway, but easier said than done when the location is very far away and not in reach of public transportation.
2.) People always arrive at least an hour later.......standard time to let the party get started, etc. I've been mistakenly on time for a few parties and been there talking to the host(s) awkwardly for awhile.
3.) always too many people bringing the same alcohol to a BYOB party.
4.) try to say hi to the hosts, but they're caught up in a conversation with other people and it'd be rude to interrupt their conversation, but you'd like to get their attention......
5.) start watching sports during lulls when there's nothing to do.
There's also this: The older I get,I understand the "meeting in person" part of being together at a party: spending time with someone, having a real live, in-person experience is important, to have them physically be present in the same room. There are so many college roommate bonding experiences I wish I could get back but it's now impossible with people being married and having kids and all, and it'd just be creepy. All the alternative spring break trips I've been on, the camp counseling experiences, even the company happy hours or Halloween parties, all of those are experiences with other people that we won't be able to replicate. That's really one of the underrated components of a wedding or a party I guess: to get everyone in the same place at the same time, to unite in a single cause to have fun, and just chill. Without needing to duck out early.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Hell or High Water
Come Hell or High
Water
A rather ominous term in the English language, it’s one of
the things that I love about the English language. The origin, according to wordorigins.com, is
from old Western pioneer days, when cattle ranchers would have to drive their
cattle to a certain spot no matter what the circumstances, or “come hell or
high water.” (High water being where there was flooding on land, making it
impossible for ranchers to drive their cattle through. It denotes the idea of
necessity, of something being so important that you would fight through
anything to get to it, but it also shows the culture of a country, of a
language, that that phrase was created and adopted throughout the ages. It’s as
much of American history (and really, human history) as the cheeseburger or the
Mayflower, and much like those other icons of history, it sounds cool to say:
come hell or high water, depicting images of this large tsunami-like wave on
one hand or the depths of hell on the other, and a prospective adventurer having
to overcome either one to get to the Fountain of Youth, a long-lost love, or
some other noble quest, etc. etc. Japanese and Chinese idioms are similar in
the sense that they tell a story, of something the culture values, whether it
be something involving animals (apparently, badgers are bad, especially ones
who live in the same hole, but cats are smart, meek, and have a coaxing voice
when they purr) or boats, there’s quite a lot in the language that makes the
language uniquely of that culture. Somebody back in the day took a lot of time
to come up with a phrase like that, to perfect it and spread it to enough
people to catch on. Nowadays people just pervert the language by ending their
sentences with “so” or “and stuff/sh*t” (MY ABSOLUTE LEAST FAVORITE), use
emojis, gifs, and pictures to express their ideas (lazily, IMO). Hopefully all
of the beautiful linguistic phrases we use will survive the changing times,
come hell or high water.
“Hell or High Water” is also the name of a 2016 bank robbery
movie that described a man who had to get money to pay for a lien on his land,
merging classic themes of rich v. poor, the old days v. the new era, racial
tensions between white settlers and Native Amercians. Quite a movie and under
90 minutes, so come hell shouldn’t come in the form of high water on your
bladder (need to pee). It was 98% on Rotten Tomatoes, which in the past meant
I’d definitely have to watch come hell or high water, but now I’m much more
selective and have been jaded enough by purportedly 90%-plus movies.
“Hell or high water” was United Airlines’s level of urgency
to get passengers off the plane to accommodate its flight crew this week, with
disastrous results. I think in previous eras “hell or high water” tactics could
be glossed over, but nowadays with everybody pretty much being a photographer
and gathering the evidence and being able to show it to the court of public
opinion almost instantly, you gotta pick your spots for “hell or high water”
techniques.
I’ve never been to IKEA, but MJ insisted that we go come
high or hell water, in order to move into our new apartment! I didn’t need to
overcome hell or high water to get to their Swedish meatballs (just $4.99), but
they were pretty good! And effective at keeping me there long enough to buy
more furniture. Our new building has 7 floors located near the Staples Center,
so even if high water did actually come hopefully we could wait it out on the
top floor.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, April 10, 2017
Luxury Apartments (贅沢)
Recently while MJ and I have been apartment hunting (it really should be called "golddigging" or "dreaming" because getting the exact right type of apartment for the budget is looking for is like hitting the lottery), a familiar advertisement pops up on signs outside apartments, billboards, on their corporate websites: LUXURY APARTMENTS! ONE OR TWO BEDROOM! Come on, Come all! That's if, btw, these apartments find it in their hearts to be available to you, after you pass a rigorous screening process of proving sufficient income, no prior evictions, etc. What do you get at the end of the rainbow? It sounds nice, these so-called "luxury" apartments, evoking images of crystal chandeliers, towering fountains, fresh cut lawns, airy lofts and pristine bathrooms. But what exactly is luxury, as the term is construed in LA? Turns out, "luxury" apartments are whatever their management companies deem to be luxury in their opinion . MJ and I recently went to some luxury one-bedroom apartments in Culver City for a low-low $2000 a month (that's just the rent! utilities and water are extra, and who knows how much they take out of your security deposit!). The carpet was dirty, the walls were cracking, the kitchen smelled of mold, and the view out of the window was of some guy's backyard. Not exactly thrilling and homely in any sense of the word, much less "luxury."
My image of "luxury": brand-new, never-been-lived in fresh smell.
Apartment's image of "luxury": built in the 1970's, they'll come by and clean it up once in a while for the new tenants.
My image of "luxury": covered parking lot for car, maybe a valet, elevator guiding you from garage to your apartment:
Apartment's image of "luxury": tandem parking space so you get blocked in if someone parks behind you, open air so birds can poop onto your car at night and sun shines down to make the car really hot.
My image of "luxury": gym services, central clubhouse area, maybe a movie room, fountains in the courtyard to look more like a community.
Apartment's image of "luxury": tiny room with a treadmill and some dead weights, cramped dining-hall space connected to the mail room and real estate office where they try to sign you up on the spot, dirty-looking open air swimming pool built back in the 70's.
My image of "luxury": views of the San Gabriel mountains, maybe a coastal view of Venice or Santa Monica or somewhere along the Pacific Ocean, maybe of the cityline of Los Angeles, Hollywood sign visibility would be nice
Apartment's image of "luxury"- the great sights and sounds of........Culver City, the New Jersey (aka "Armpit" of New York, and that's if you're lucky......the guy showing us around sure sold the view to the fullest, pausing for dramatic effect before opening the windows to reveal the masterpiece of the view, sighing several times in the full minute he took to enjoy the view of suburban apartments and flat hills with no bodies of water, then remarking thanking his lucky stars for the ability to see this view every day like it was of the French Riviera or downtown Manhattan. Dude, it's Culver City, CA. Relax.
So yea, next time you stop into one of these "luxury" apartments, make sure you stop by the "luxury" taco food trucks lest you get hungry, or invest in a "luxury" Yelp or Zillow app before you make an appointment to see what others have said, and be willing to take a chunk out of your luxury (not sarcastic this time, you WILL need to pay a luxury lifestyle-type cost to afford these) paycheck to apply for one of their units. That's the "luxury" real estate market we live in today.....at least here in LA.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
My image of "luxury": brand-new, never-been-lived in fresh smell.
Apartment's image of "luxury": built in the 1970's, they'll come by and clean it up once in a while for the new tenants.
My image of "luxury": covered parking lot for car, maybe a valet, elevator guiding you from garage to your apartment:
Apartment's image of "luxury": tandem parking space so you get blocked in if someone parks behind you, open air so birds can poop onto your car at night and sun shines down to make the car really hot.
My image of "luxury": gym services, central clubhouse area, maybe a movie room, fountains in the courtyard to look more like a community.
Apartment's image of "luxury": tiny room with a treadmill and some dead weights, cramped dining-hall space connected to the mail room and real estate office where they try to sign you up on the spot, dirty-looking open air swimming pool built back in the 70's.
My image of "luxury": views of the San Gabriel mountains, maybe a coastal view of Venice or Santa Monica or somewhere along the Pacific Ocean, maybe of the cityline of Los Angeles, Hollywood sign visibility would be nice
Apartment's image of "luxury"- the great sights and sounds of........Culver City, the New Jersey (aka "Armpit" of New York, and that's if you're lucky......the guy showing us around sure sold the view to the fullest, pausing for dramatic effect before opening the windows to reveal the masterpiece of the view, sighing several times in the full minute he took to enjoy the view of suburban apartments and flat hills with no bodies of water, then remarking thanking his lucky stars for the ability to see this view every day like it was of the French Riviera or downtown Manhattan. Dude, it's Culver City, CA. Relax.
So yea, next time you stop into one of these "luxury" apartments, make sure you stop by the "luxury" taco food trucks lest you get hungry, or invest in a "luxury" Yelp or Zillow app before you make an appointment to see what others have said, and be willing to take a chunk out of your luxury (not sarcastic this time, you WILL need to pay a luxury lifestyle-type cost to afford these) paycheck to apply for one of their units. That's the "luxury" real estate market we live in today.....at least here in LA.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Reducing Weight (体重減少 )
Neither MJ and I are what you would consider "fat" people (I really watch out when I use that word around others now because of the connotations associated it, how sensitive people are, and because I dealt with weight issues in the past. There's not really a great thing to say when it comes to weight, even "you're not fat" can be considered patronizing in some contexts so I only use those descriptive words when talking to myself), nor "skinny" people. However, we both have felt the need to lose a few pounds recently. Me personally, I blame it on the cold Chicago weather keeping me indoors a lot as well as eating and then sitting in the office at work, and hopefully the California weather would change that.
Obviously there's a lot of literature about lose-pounds-quickly methods and diets and training regimens, I treat those a lot like fortunetellers and pyramid schemes: there's not a lot of substance behind it, but it might work if you buy into it.. You know what really works for weight loss? Sweating off water weight. Our bodies consist something like 60% of water, (Actually according to wikipedia it's about 60% for males, 55% for females, huh.) Anyway, that water makes up a LOT of pounds, and if you can get rid of some of that organically, say, exercising, that really helps to make the body lose weight. I went to the local dodgeball gym for 3 hours today, ran around a lot, sweated through 4 shirts (yes I sweat a lot anyway, and it does help to lose weight I guess as well as make one smell bad) and lost 3 pounds when I measured myself at home. Now how much I'll gain that back after I eat a huge meal at dinner will be interesting, but at least I know it can be done, and that those pounds were from water weight. It's like a puzzle (I told you, life is just a puzzle!), when I was training for the marathon I lost like 10-12 pounds when I was done, mainly cuz due to running all those miles and sweating so much during those runs, I just lost all that water weight. SWEAT! It's the key to everything.
I first learned about the theory through reading about how professional boxers and fighters lose weight, and those are really horrific tales, like going into a sauna a day or 2 before having to make a specified weight and needing to lose 10, 20, even THIRTY pounds in one sitting. I have a hard enough time losing 3 pounds, much less THIRTY, it can't be good for the body. It's apparently just dehydrating one self to the extreme, and the fighters can't drink any water during this time. Essentially they just get rid of all the water weight, come out, make the weight they needed to be at, then RIGHT AFTER the weigh in they drink tops of liquids. put the water weight back on (like 10 pounds in one day) cuz their body is used to being at that normal higher weight before, and they get to where they were orginally by fight time. Add that to the numerous reasons why I would NOT want to be a professional fighter (I don't like physical violence, I don't take pain very well, I require my mind for work so concussions are bad, etc., etc.)
Sweat on,
Robert Yan
Saturday, April 1, 2017
Fight (喧嘩)
I don't like fighting, I don't think anybody does. I dislike physical fighting, I actually have never gotten into a physical altercation, not even any pushing or shoving. The closest to a squibble was this aggressive 9-year-old at Chinese School every Saturday who kept egging me on over snowballs, and before we realized we had crossed the line between play fighting and actual fighting we were sorting of wrestling around on the ground, but in a very 9-year-old boy way. I also once spilled a girl's drink at a VERY crowded bar while trying to reach the bathroom, not my fault really, the bar's fault for being so crowded, and the girl's boyfriend/guy who was trying to impress her pulled me aside and told me I should pay for the girl's drink. I didn't really think I needed to, but it seemed the guy was quite insistent, and to avoid any argument I just paid the drink and got outta there, and come to think of it my life of desiring to hang out at bars ended that night. That's the story of my life though: kind of a pushover in terms of altercations, give in to others when it's more convenient to just let it go.
Unfortunately, verbal arguments are much more of a common occurrence of me, and they happen most with my family. I have a theory that I have a "crazy" gene, where I momentarily overreact about something, my blood boils, and before my mind (which has been well trained to stop me from doing anything rash) can stop it the body erupts in rage, I raise what's already a pretty loud voice and let out a yell. Admittedly it's a pretty alarming yell, so the other party would be shocked for a second and would create outrage for the other person too, but I've told my parents/ family members this: It's just a momentary slip, once I let it out, I know I've done wrong, but by then I've become the bad guy who instigated a fight, and the fight progresses as a lecturing session about what I did wrong, and then I get upset about that and that I've told them about it before, and pretty soon we don't even know what we're arguing about anymore, just upset. The "crazy" gene is something on my Dad's side I think, my sister and my father all lose control all of a sudden and we'll look a little crazy, it's like a rage that I've tried to pack under the surface but sometimes breaks out. It's very similar to the kind of repressed anger that Adam Sandler displayed in "Anger Management," a very comical but also realistic look at people with anger issues. Repressed anger is anger that's built up inside that is caused by me being done wrong (like paying for someone's drink when I shouldn't have to) but letting it go, letting it go, until it accumulates into a big ball of stress, and when that repressed anger has a catalyst to burst it into flames it bursts out like a cannonball. I have those anger issues.
I do think, though, as crazy as it sounds, that I DO learn from going through fights. I learn what sets me off, what behavior that I dislike, what values other people hold v. values I hold, a lot of information comes out in fights. Things that family members usually keep hidden from each other for fear of ruining the relationship come to light, you learn that others are also repressing anger caused by injustices done to them at work, by other people, life, etc., and that to some extent this argument isn't really about the 2 people arguing having issues with each other (it partly is, of course) but instead all the stuff that they've been dealing with that at some point has to burst out. You also learn that the people closest to you are the ones most likely to fight with, because if it was outsiders you'd just stop associating with them, it's only the ones who you're gonna have a long future with for sure that you get frustrated with, who you've had a long shared history with. I also tend to think about things more clearly while arguing, cuz apparently ever since I was a kid "I loved to argue," (very minor reason I became a lawyer), but I've been told during arguments I try to take a reasonable approach, showing why I think the other person is not being logical and why I'm right, trying to take a persuasive attitude. When really, in some fights it's not about who's right or wrong, it's just about if you still love each other, and the answer is almost always "yes" and one of the people just has to step down at some point and realize both people love each other and to remind each other of that.
I wish fights never happen to me, but if they do, at least I can learn something from them.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Unfortunately, verbal arguments are much more of a common occurrence of me, and they happen most with my family. I have a theory that I have a "crazy" gene, where I momentarily overreact about something, my blood boils, and before my mind (which has been well trained to stop me from doing anything rash) can stop it the body erupts in rage, I raise what's already a pretty loud voice and let out a yell. Admittedly it's a pretty alarming yell, so the other party would be shocked for a second and would create outrage for the other person too, but I've told my parents/ family members this: It's just a momentary slip, once I let it out, I know I've done wrong, but by then I've become the bad guy who instigated a fight, and the fight progresses as a lecturing session about what I did wrong, and then I get upset about that and that I've told them about it before, and pretty soon we don't even know what we're arguing about anymore, just upset. The "crazy" gene is something on my Dad's side I think, my sister and my father all lose control all of a sudden and we'll look a little crazy, it's like a rage that I've tried to pack under the surface but sometimes breaks out. It's very similar to the kind of repressed anger that Adam Sandler displayed in "Anger Management," a very comical but also realistic look at people with anger issues. Repressed anger is anger that's built up inside that is caused by me being done wrong (like paying for someone's drink when I shouldn't have to) but letting it go, letting it go, until it accumulates into a big ball of stress, and when that repressed anger has a catalyst to burst it into flames it bursts out like a cannonball. I have those anger issues.
I do think, though, as crazy as it sounds, that I DO learn from going through fights. I learn what sets me off, what behavior that I dislike, what values other people hold v. values I hold, a lot of information comes out in fights. Things that family members usually keep hidden from each other for fear of ruining the relationship come to light, you learn that others are also repressing anger caused by injustices done to them at work, by other people, life, etc., and that to some extent this argument isn't really about the 2 people arguing having issues with each other (it partly is, of course) but instead all the stuff that they've been dealing with that at some point has to burst out. You also learn that the people closest to you are the ones most likely to fight with, because if it was outsiders you'd just stop associating with them, it's only the ones who you're gonna have a long future with for sure that you get frustrated with, who you've had a long shared history with. I also tend to think about things more clearly while arguing, cuz apparently ever since I was a kid "I loved to argue," (very minor reason I became a lawyer), but I've been told during arguments I try to take a reasonable approach, showing why I think the other person is not being logical and why I'm right, trying to take a persuasive attitude. When really, in some fights it's not about who's right or wrong, it's just about if you still love each other, and the answer is almost always "yes" and one of the people just has to step down at some point and realize both people love each other and to remind each other of that.
I wish fights never happen to me, but if they do, at least I can learn something from them.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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