Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Tim Lincecum/ Buyer's Remorse Theory

"O man I want that tie!" "I want to go to that concert so bad!" "I am so excited for the series premiere of _____ show!" "Finally, "Who do I want to add to my fantasy baseball team? Tim Lincecum!"

The above are quotes many have uttered right before making an indulgent purchase or engaging in a worthless experience, right before getting a dud of a product/ service or having a bad time, and buyer's remorse sets in. Tim Lincecum is the ultimate Buyer's Remorse player in fantasy baseball. He is very tempting and juicy due to his strikeout potential (pretty much 9 K/9 every year) and past success (former Cy Young, no-hitter last year) and with that in mind he's always an attractive candidate. However, nowadays anytime you pick him up, he is prone to giving up lots of baserunners, inflating one's ERA and WHIP, not getting a W, not getting that many strikeouts due to not going deep into games (this is when one realizes that the high K/9 rate is not so impressive when the pitcher it's tied to goes nowhere near 9 innings), and in general just does damage. It's generally better NOT to even use him, having an open bench on the roster. When watching Lincecum, "Team cancer" (not to make light of cancer, a very serious condition) or "saboteur" come to mind each time he undergos his funky delivery, winds up as if he's still in Cy Young form, whisks back his signature long hair covering his always-boyish face............and throws a 90 MPH meatball right down the middle that someone hammers.

Again, fantasy baseball can teach one a lot about life (sensing a theme here with some of these posts?) In life, there are many things that are negatives. If time is the most valuable resource (and I posit that it is due to opportunity costs and the infinite supply of it for each and every human being) you don't want to waste that resource on trivial pursuits (unlike Trivial Pursuit the Board Game, which is actually a pretty fun time). The worst feeling in the world is spending money for something you really wanted, not getting what you expected, getting a bad experience, and realizing you could have used the time spent on that endeavor on something else. It leaves one empty inside and is probably how the phrase "Could I get my [insert amount of time here] back?" origniated. Going to a movie that one could have watched in the comfort of one's home comes to mind. Certain dates I've gone on with girls who are good people but just not for me comes to mind. Going to certain baseball games that are over in the first inning after certain pitchers (like Tim Lincecum) give up 5 runs comes to mind.

The lesson here? In fantasy baseball and life, one realizes sometimes no matter how tempting something is, one has to assess the risks/alternatives and just say no. If something has a 1% chance of making you feel really good but about a 75% chance of being a negative experience  (reserving 24% for being neutral/wishy-washy/not sure how you feel about it), then don't do that activity. Buyer's remorse is very real, and by this point (I'm guessing and hoping if you're reading this blog you're at least in your mid-twenties, otherwise all this talk about fantasy baseball/internet dating/dressing for success/ game of thrones will be lost on you) you should know what makes you happy, what won't be so fun........carpe diem (Latin for seize the day), but also caveat emptor (something you learn in Contracts/ law school/being screwed by a shady business man has "buyer beware.")

This is not to say try new things. DO try new things, but not things you know will not satisfy you and just waste time. Try a bit of Tom Kohler, try a bit of Brian Dozier. Just know that there's a chance they will do more damage to your team than good. Kind of like Tim Lincecum.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

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