After having conquered Brother Mouzone for the 2nd straight week in 10, the Brother claims "We can build on this." Well, there's no way he can beat me if I go 16-0, so here are YOUR NFL point-spread winners for the week:
O, but first, more "general lessons" I'm learning:
1. Chargers make 2nd-half runs.
2. Don't bet on Carolina
3. Teams coming off byes cover A LOT (see Chargers, Packers, Saints from last week)......since there's no more byes to speak of this season, I'll have to archive it for next year.
Again, picks that I differ from Brother are in red. (i.e., the incorrect picks Brother makes that I capitalize on)
1.) Lions +6.5 v. Patriots. Went back and forth on this......Lions are a neat little team.....they've covered a lot for me and Shaun Hill is a keep-you-in-it QB a la Ryan Fitzpatrick. And look at Detroit's home games this year......covered against Philly and NYJ, beat St. Louis and Washington outright.... the definition of a "home dog"..... or in this case, "home cat." Let's just not have Ndamokang Suh kick any more PAT's, shall we?
2.) Saints -3.5 @ Dallas. OK, everyone, let's calm all this talk about the Cowboys running the table and making the playoffs, OK? I see this game as Drew Brees v. Jon Kitna.
3.) NYJ -9 v. Cincinatti: I've been pretty dead-on about the Bengals all year......didn't think they were good, thought they would give one last effort against Steelers (almost won), and thought they'd lay down against the Bills. This week, I'm sticking the fork in the voodoo doll. You can go back to Thanksgiving desserts early this year: Jets win big by halftime.
4.) Washington -1 v. Minnesota: So........Minnesota's supposedly the better team here? This would be my lock of the week if I didn't want to curse myself. Do people just NOT learn to bet against the Vikings? Holy moly.
5.) Pittsburgh -6.5 at Buffalo: The Steelers must make a run to get a first-round bye and they know it. Can't be fooling around now..... Brother had the right idea about the Bills. For the same reason they shouldn't have won 2 games in a row, they CAN'T win 3 games in a row.
6.) Tennessee +6.5 at Houston: Kind of overstating the loss of Vince Young, aren't we? Last I checked, Titans still have Chris Johnson and a respectable D.......they still realistically can win, and like an extra seat cushion, I'll sit comfortably on an extra 6.5 points to say I'm right.
7.) NYG -7 v. Jacksonville: Something about the Jaguars just screams: "We've set expectations mighty high but we're about to collapse!!!" Giants are PISSED after 2 straight losses.
8.) Cleveland -10 v. Carolina: Peyton Hillis. How did I not just grab this guy after Week 2 and hold on for dear life? ech. Also see Rule #1 of my the Guru's Life Lessons: 1. Don't bet on Carolina.
9.) Tampa Bay +7.5 at Baltimore. Every week when I come to picking the B-more game, a feeling of dread comes over. I'm 1-4 in their games. Could the Ravens POSSIBLY be looking ahead to a titanic showdown in Week 13 v. the Steelers???? If you need moral support in this game, Josh Freeman, I know it's hard....give the Guru a call.
10.) Philadelphia -3.5 at Chicago: I remember several games that the Bears gave Mike Vick fits pre-prison. But privately, deep down in a place I keep very secret, I think the Eagles are the best team in the NFL. Shhhhhh.
11.) Atlanta -2 v. Green Bay. Huh? Atlanta is better than than GB.....and they're only getting -2....at home? I've learned my lessons about good teams going into ATL.....they don't come out.
12.) Raiders -3 v. Miami: Darren McFadden will stomp all over the Dolphins like he's running on water.
13.) Kansas City -2 at Seattle. If only Seattle played Arizona every week.
14.) St. Louis +4 at Denver: Rams.
15.) Indianapolis -3 v. San Diego. As much as this is going against Life Lesson #2, and as much as I love Phillip Rivers, and how the Chargers are getting people back, and all that, one overwhelming rule trumps all: Do NOT bet against Peyton Manning at night.
16.) Arizona +1 v. San Francisco: This is just........bleh. Can I choose death?
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Buy Chipotle Stock
The title says it all. I did it yesterday; I only wish I had more money. This stock is like a dot-com company in the summer of 1999: unstoppable. It's doubled its value in this year alone. It's quadrupled since Fall 2008. Its business concept is so simple too; I shoulda already become a millionaire.
Reasons why this company is the best of its era:
1. Good food: Chipotle has the same ingredients for everyone, so you know what you're gonna get, the menu never really changes, but people keep coming back.......over and over again. It's got one of the key maxims of any restaurant business: have good food.
2. Stable price: it raised its price recently a bit for all its products, but in general it stays the same: I know I'll be spending $6.42 on a chicken burrito or $6.69 on any other burrito. And given the fact that it's delicious and fills me up, I can't complain.
3. Attracts all demographics: Usually when you go to a McDonald's or a steakhouse you know what type of people are gonna be there: it's determined mostly by socioeconomic conditions, a lot by the ability to pay. Not Chipotle. I've stood in line with all sorts of people: students, businesspeople, mothers, athletes, doctors, kids, homsexuals, etc., etc., etc. Whenever you're feeling hungry and want something convenient + reasonably priced, you go to Chipotle. Bottom line.
4. The accepted norm for fast food: Whenever my friends/ colleagues are deciding on somewhere to go out and eat, we have a divergence of tastes: Chinese, Mexican, McDonald's, pizza, burger, etc., and sometimes one person isn't feeling Chinese, or McDonald's is rejected because someone just doesn't want all the fat. I've never really heard anyone object to Chipotle......it's always the default option, it's accepted by everyone.......that's MONEY in the restaurant business, when people can come to agreement on the product. That's the cash register ringing over and over again.
5. I don't see anyone really taking down Chipotle for awhile. It's just built such a tremendous brand within the last few years, its business model is almost impeccable. It's gonna really take serious effort by some new company to take away its customers, because I got news for all existing restaurant chains: You ain't taking Chipotle down.
So pardon me for only engaging in an "eye test" of this company, but Chipotle gets an overwhelming, resounding, earth-shattering "Buy buy buy" from the Guru. I buy Chipotle every day, my friends all buy it, pretty much everyone I know buys it. And now I've bought the stock. So should you.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Reasons why this company is the best of its era:
1. Good food: Chipotle has the same ingredients for everyone, so you know what you're gonna get, the menu never really changes, but people keep coming back.......over and over again. It's got one of the key maxims of any restaurant business: have good food.
2. Stable price: it raised its price recently a bit for all its products, but in general it stays the same: I know I'll be spending $6.42 on a chicken burrito or $6.69 on any other burrito. And given the fact that it's delicious and fills me up, I can't complain.
3. Attracts all demographics: Usually when you go to a McDonald's or a steakhouse you know what type of people are gonna be there: it's determined mostly by socioeconomic conditions, a lot by the ability to pay. Not Chipotle. I've stood in line with all sorts of people: students, businesspeople, mothers, athletes, doctors, kids, homsexuals, etc., etc., etc. Whenever you're feeling hungry and want something convenient + reasonably priced, you go to Chipotle. Bottom line.
4. The accepted norm for fast food: Whenever my friends/ colleagues are deciding on somewhere to go out and eat, we have a divergence of tastes: Chinese, Mexican, McDonald's, pizza, burger, etc., and sometimes one person isn't feeling Chinese, or McDonald's is rejected because someone just doesn't want all the fat. I've never really heard anyone object to Chipotle......it's always the default option, it's accepted by everyone.......that's MONEY in the restaurant business, when people can come to agreement on the product. That's the cash register ringing over and over again.
5. I don't see anyone really taking down Chipotle for awhile. It's just built such a tremendous brand within the last few years, its business model is almost impeccable. It's gonna really take serious effort by some new company to take away its customers, because I got news for all existing restaurant chains: You ain't taking Chipotle down.
So pardon me for only engaging in an "eye test" of this company, but Chipotle gets an overwhelming, resounding, earth-shattering "Buy buy buy" from the Guru. I buy Chipotle every day, my friends all buy it, pretty much everyone I know buys it. And now I've bought the stock. So should you.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, November 22, 2010
Multi-Tasking: Good Idea or Bad Idea?
Excited cuz today went well: Went up to Baldwin Hill Scenic Overlook in Culver City (I know, sounds very mundane), but spectacular view of the whole city up there, and you won't kill yourself trekking up there.
Come home, see that Greg Jennings has gone OFF for 7 Rec, 152 yards, and 3 TD's against the team that I have told you REPEATEDLY to bet against. That +3 they got against the Packers didn't look too good anymore after the 34-3 greasefire, did it? Anyway, beat an archrival in a game both of us needed to have and backed up my incessant smack talk (always feels better when you can back it up).
10-5 in picks this week with one game to go, and have edged out the "I feel confident this week about my picks" Brother Mouzone. Was really looking pretty bad around noon PT, but I SWEPT through the afternoon games PLUS Sunday night. Awesome feeling, getting that hot streak. (Brother might have a legit beef about Indy always BARELY covering despite losing close games, but hey, that IS the power of Peyton Manning.... you're never out of it. And really, the Colts were driving and could have scored, or Vinateri woulda kicked a FG to force OT, where the Colts woulda had major momentum........I deserved the cover).
The Walking Dead on AMC is a GREAT show. Absolute insanity in the last 5 minutes of tonight's episode. Whew - yee.
Witnessed another instance of Pickup Basketball Personality #5 tonight at Lyon Center gym: Guy playing with agenda. 3-on-3 pickup game, the "leader" of the other team seemed to really need a win badly, whether he'd just broken up with his gf, lost money picking NFL football games (which he wouldn't have if he followed my picks, btw), who knows, but he was cursing profusely and getting genuinely angry at losing, as evidenced by his aggressive play (he fouled me a LOT). The fact that the 3 on his team were all whites and the 3 on our side were under 5'9'' Asian guys was not lost on me; I'm just hypothesizing here: he thought he could beat us. And he did NOT. We dominated him in both pickup games ( by one's to 11) and there was no doubt who was the better team. Again, disclaimer needed: I'm not a racist, but it feels better to stick it to people who think they're better than you just because you look a certain way.
I bet Joakim Noah sympathesizes with me. (See last November's article, "Why I love Joakim Noah").
Anyway, this post is all about multi-tasking. For those who know me, I am very pushy about wasting time. As in, I HATE wasting time. I have a set schedule for the day and I don't like changing it for trivial pursuits. I try very hard not to waste other people's time; I would appreciate if they don't waste mine. When I'm by myself, therefore, I try to get things done as efficiently as possible, and sometimes that entails muti-tasking. Multi-tasking, the practice of performing multiple tasks simultaneously (at the same time), can be really good, if you have the right combo of things to do. Some things, though, are like oil and water: they don't mix.
1. Writing material for one's blog while watching sports: GOOD IDEA! I do it all the time, and it works really well when you're writing about sports as you're watching.....gets your instant reaction.
2. Eating while driving in the car: BAD IDEA!!!! Actually, this really should be illegal. I admit, I've been guilty of it. It totally impairs your driving, you have to drive with one hand, you have to look down if you spilled something, and don't forget the drink that you have to switch hands for to wash it down with. Don't do this. Alternative: schedule lunch with a good friend/ network with somebody. Driving's already dangerous enough as it is.
3. Catching a football/basketball while trying to run with it: BAD IDEA!!!! This drives me nuts. Secure the ball first, (have one in the hand) before you try to go for something more (2 in the hand). Especially PAID, PROFESSIONAL athletes: fundamental football/basketball, people.....you're taught this as a kid. Learn it.
4. Listening to music while studying for a class: DEPENDS. I think it's a bad idea cuz I can't concentrate when something else is going on.....I'm trained to eavesdrop. I dunno, maybe it depends on the type of music.
5. Running while listening to music: GOOD IDEA!!!! For some reason I find that I have more endurance while listening to music, probably cuz I block everything else out and just go, and time goes by faster.
6. Going on the internet while taking notes in class: The good-student answer is BAD IDEA, but honestly, it's generally a GOOD IDEA. Caveat: if the professor's not reading straight out of his notes and you have to copy everything down. In a 2-hour class, it is difficult to pay attention to EVERYTHING a professor says, so you have to take some mental breaks. The key is not to take too long of a mental break, or too many. Have selective hearing: When the professor goes on a tangent, look how your fantasy team did this weekend. When prof gets back on track, come back in. When the kid in the front row asks a completely arbitrary quesiton with no chance of being on the test, go see who you can pick up from the waiver wire, propose a few trades. When the prof. has thoroughly dashed Question Guy's hopes of being Ace Brownnoser of the Year, click out and get back to note-taking. THAT's multi-tasking at its finest.
7. Checking your blackberry while waiting in line to get Chipotle (I'm having a big Chipotle weekend for some reason): GOOD IDEA. Probably the top reason to have a smartphone. Alternate course if standing next to attractive single member of the opposite sex in line... that's when you suddenly get all clumsy and "bump into people accidentially."
8. Going to law school while working part-time: Probably the best of both worlds, the ideal situation. GREAT IDEA!!! Earn money to pay for future higher (expected) wages....utilize the not-as-hectic law school schedule by working part-time, both expanding your career contacts, establishing more on your resume, and sustaining your financial situation (not suggested during 1L year, in fact, not allowed at most institutions, I believe).
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Come home, see that Greg Jennings has gone OFF for 7 Rec, 152 yards, and 3 TD's against the team that I have told you REPEATEDLY to bet against. That +3 they got against the Packers didn't look too good anymore after the 34-3 greasefire, did it? Anyway, beat an archrival in a game both of us needed to have and backed up my incessant smack talk (always feels better when you can back it up).
10-5 in picks this week with one game to go, and have edged out the "I feel confident this week about my picks" Brother Mouzone. Was really looking pretty bad around noon PT, but I SWEPT through the afternoon games PLUS Sunday night. Awesome feeling, getting that hot streak. (Brother might have a legit beef about Indy always BARELY covering despite losing close games, but hey, that IS the power of Peyton Manning.... you're never out of it. And really, the Colts were driving and could have scored, or Vinateri woulda kicked a FG to force OT, where the Colts woulda had major momentum........I deserved the cover).
The Walking Dead on AMC is a GREAT show. Absolute insanity in the last 5 minutes of tonight's episode. Whew - yee.
Witnessed another instance of Pickup Basketball Personality #5 tonight at Lyon Center gym: Guy playing with agenda. 3-on-3 pickup game, the "leader" of the other team seemed to really need a win badly, whether he'd just broken up with his gf, lost money picking NFL football games (which he wouldn't have if he followed my picks, btw), who knows, but he was cursing profusely and getting genuinely angry at losing, as evidenced by his aggressive play (he fouled me a LOT). The fact that the 3 on his team were all whites and the 3 on our side were under 5'9'' Asian guys was not lost on me; I'm just hypothesizing here: he thought he could beat us. And he did NOT. We dominated him in both pickup games ( by one's to 11) and there was no doubt who was the better team. Again, disclaimer needed: I'm not a racist, but it feels better to stick it to people who think they're better than you just because you look a certain way.
I bet Joakim Noah sympathesizes with me. (See last November's article, "Why I love Joakim Noah").
Anyway, this post is all about multi-tasking. For those who know me, I am very pushy about wasting time. As in, I HATE wasting time. I have a set schedule for the day and I don't like changing it for trivial pursuits. I try very hard not to waste other people's time; I would appreciate if they don't waste mine. When I'm by myself, therefore, I try to get things done as efficiently as possible, and sometimes that entails muti-tasking. Multi-tasking, the practice of performing multiple tasks simultaneously (at the same time), can be really good, if you have the right combo of things to do. Some things, though, are like oil and water: they don't mix.
1. Writing material for one's blog while watching sports: GOOD IDEA! I do it all the time, and it works really well when you're writing about sports as you're watching.....gets your instant reaction.
2. Eating while driving in the car: BAD IDEA!!!! Actually, this really should be illegal. I admit, I've been guilty of it. It totally impairs your driving, you have to drive with one hand, you have to look down if you spilled something, and don't forget the drink that you have to switch hands for to wash it down with. Don't do this. Alternative: schedule lunch with a good friend/ network with somebody. Driving's already dangerous enough as it is.
3. Catching a football/basketball while trying to run with it: BAD IDEA!!!! This drives me nuts. Secure the ball first, (have one in the hand) before you try to go for something more (2 in the hand). Especially PAID, PROFESSIONAL athletes: fundamental football/basketball, people.....you're taught this as a kid. Learn it.
4. Listening to music while studying for a class: DEPENDS. I think it's a bad idea cuz I can't concentrate when something else is going on.....I'm trained to eavesdrop. I dunno, maybe it depends on the type of music.
5. Running while listening to music: GOOD IDEA!!!! For some reason I find that I have more endurance while listening to music, probably cuz I block everything else out and just go, and time goes by faster.
6. Going on the internet while taking notes in class: The good-student answer is BAD IDEA, but honestly, it's generally a GOOD IDEA. Caveat: if the professor's not reading straight out of his notes and you have to copy everything down. In a 2-hour class, it is difficult to pay attention to EVERYTHING a professor says, so you have to take some mental breaks. The key is not to take too long of a mental break, or too many. Have selective hearing: When the professor goes on a tangent, look how your fantasy team did this weekend. When prof gets back on track, come back in. When the kid in the front row asks a completely arbitrary quesiton with no chance of being on the test, go see who you can pick up from the waiver wire, propose a few trades. When the prof. has thoroughly dashed Question Guy's hopes of being Ace Brownnoser of the Year, click out and get back to note-taking. THAT's multi-tasking at its finest.
7. Checking your blackberry while waiting in line to get Chipotle (I'm having a big Chipotle weekend for some reason): GOOD IDEA. Probably the top reason to have a smartphone. Alternate course if standing next to attractive single member of the opposite sex in line... that's when you suddenly get all clumsy and "bump into people accidentially."
8. Going to law school while working part-time: Probably the best of both worlds, the ideal situation. GREAT IDEA!!! Earn money to pay for future higher (expected) wages....utilize the not-as-hectic law school schedule by working part-time, both expanding your career contacts, establishing more on your resume, and sustaining your financial situation (not suggested during 1L year, in fact, not allowed at most institutions, I believe).
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The Ten People You Meet on the Pick-up Basketball Court
This post is more exclusive to the basketball players out there, but the demographics who read this blog (fantasy sports managers/ young college-types/ males) should be pretty schooled in the art of playing pick-up basketball.
* Note: the reason they call it "pick-up" basketball is literally you get "picked up" by a team trying to play next......you always need 5 guys to play so that when the current game playing on the court finishes, your team replaces the losers (winners stay on). I've had various issues with the "pick-up" process, including "who really has next game?", "I've got a buddy coming in 5 minutes but don't know exactly when he's showing up," and my most hated, "Yea I got 5 already but I really don't." Some cats are just really bad about the process, they take a look at your appearance (body type, height, ethnicity, etc.) and decide whether they want you on your team or not. No evidence for this, but sometimes I suspect it's blatant racism: Guy takes a look at me, sees I'm Asian, assumes I'm bad, and says, "I got 5 already." 5 minutes later, some other dude (not Asian) shows up and suddenly he's in the game. Very unfair, but on the pick-up basketball court you're pretty much subject to the laws of the jungle. Hard to object to that (especially when you don't have your own group of guys).
Sigh. Anyways, here's the list of personalities you will normally see on the court:
1. The ball-hog: This is the guy who demands the ball on the inbounds pass, dribbles down the court, plays 1-on-5 basketball, and will do everything he can NOT to pass it away. He wants to score, and he wants to score, NOW. While somewhat tolerable if the guy's actually making shots/ scoring points, it's TERRIBLE when he's missing. Ironically, the ballhog's also the guy who yells at you to pass it more when you have the ball. Figures.
2. The foul-caller: Either the most fragile person on earth or just blatantly ignorant of what a foul is, the foul-caller will cry foul every time he has the ball, and sometimes when he doesn't have the ball ( the general guideline in pick-up basketball is not to call fouls when you don't have the ball, no offensive fouls, no loose-ball fouls, etc. unless TOTALLY flagrant). The foul-caller will stagnate the game tremendously and piss off everybody, and inevitably an argument will ensue as to what's a foul or not. Ironically, the foul-caller is also the guy who says "What foul?" when you foul him.
3. The Fountain: The guy who sweats profusely and doesn't apologize for you. If your team is "matching up" (deciding who guards who on the other team) with the team the Fountain is on, you can literally see the whole team gravitating AWAY from the Fountain, playing a sort of "Hot Potato" or "Nose Goes" game to see who gets the dishonorable distinction of guarding the Fountain. It is NOT pleasant to guard the Fountain. Ironically, the Fountain is usually also the guy who wants to grind under the basketball and initiate a LOT of contact, with disastrous results. Also see: the guy who smells. (Similar characteristics)
4. The Girl: When a girl plays, she's always "underestimated." She's never good cuz she's just good, she's "underrated." And when she makes a shot, it's always, "OOOOOOOHHHHH." Ironically, the Girl always actually has a shot, so the previously mentioned sound effect is repeated abundantly.
5. The Guy Playing with an Agenda: This guy had something happen before stepping on the court. Either he just got into a fight with his girlfriend, or someone spilled coffee on his lap earlier at McDonald's, or he didn't get as much meat as he wanted on his Chipotle burrito, SOMETHING.... he's playing with a chip on his shoulder, trying to blow off some steam. He swears, he's angry, he's violent, he fouls a lot. It's uncomfortable having Agenda Guy on your team; it's just downright painful to have him on the other team. Inevitably, Agenda Guy will try to get into a fight.
6. The Friends: The Friends come together, they've played together before, they're practicing for a tournament at a later time, they want to practice set plays, whatever, the Friends will NEVER pass to anybody but themselves.....literally, even if his boy is covered by 3 guys and 2 other teammates are wide open, the Friend will force it to his other Friend. I hate the Friends.
7. Cell Phone Guy: The guy who runs to his cell phone in the middle of the game. It's like, "what are you doing? We're playing basketball."
8. Excuse Guy: Excuse guy will have a reason for everything that he does wrong. "I just lifted before the game, so my shot is off." "I don't got my lucky shorts, sorry." "My nails are too long." "I had Chipotle before the game, my bad." "Is that a woman's ball?" "The rims are too small."
Note to Excuse Guy: I DON'T CARE!!!!!! STOP lifting before the game! Wear your shorts!!!! Do what you need to do to be ready! Play basketball!!!!!!!
9. Lazy Guy: Doesn't run down the court, doesn't box out, doesn't run after the ball. When you pass to him, he instantly shoots a contested 3-pointer, no questions asked. Lazy Guy makes you sick. Note: Lazy Guy usually actually is also Pretty Talented Guy, who thinks he's too good to hustle, too good to have to work for it. Ironically, Pretty Talented Lazy Guy will also be the guy who tells you what to do if something goes wrong because he thinks he knows what the problem is. Note to Pretty Talented Lazy Guy: YOU ARE the PROBLEM!!!!!!!
10. Finally, worse than any of the other guys you meet on the pickup court, is......Always Next Guy. Always Next Guy tries to do his best Hiro Nakamura impression, trying to be everywhere at one time. He's on one court and he's somehow next on the other court. If you're trying to get next, he and his friends are next. Why is he the worst? Not necessarily because of bad intent, I suppose, but if you can't get on the court, none of the other things even apply. Note to Always Next Guy: This isn't online poker. you can only play one game at a time. Another note to Always Next Guy: Learn to share.
Sigh. Yea, as you can imagine, I have a lot of anger towards pickup basketball people. In general, basketball's fun, everyone gets some exercise, and everyone get along. But when you throw in one or more of the aformentioned Guys ( I have no problem with Girls) things start to deteriorate. Quickly. If you're reading this and are one of these Guys, please, please, PLEASE remedy yourself. I realize I might exemplify to some degree one of these Guy characteristics, so I'll do my part to stop it too. That is all.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
* Note: the reason they call it "pick-up" basketball is literally you get "picked up" by a team trying to play next......you always need 5 guys to play so that when the current game playing on the court finishes, your team replaces the losers (winners stay on). I've had various issues with the "pick-up" process, including "who really has next game?", "I've got a buddy coming in 5 minutes but don't know exactly when he's showing up," and my most hated, "Yea I got 5 already but I really don't." Some cats are just really bad about the process, they take a look at your appearance (body type, height, ethnicity, etc.) and decide whether they want you on your team or not. No evidence for this, but sometimes I suspect it's blatant racism: Guy takes a look at me, sees I'm Asian, assumes I'm bad, and says, "I got 5 already." 5 minutes later, some other dude (not Asian) shows up and suddenly he's in the game. Very unfair, but on the pick-up basketball court you're pretty much subject to the laws of the jungle. Hard to object to that (especially when you don't have your own group of guys).
Sigh. Anyways, here's the list of personalities you will normally see on the court:
1. The ball-hog: This is the guy who demands the ball on the inbounds pass, dribbles down the court, plays 1-on-5 basketball, and will do everything he can NOT to pass it away. He wants to score, and he wants to score, NOW. While somewhat tolerable if the guy's actually making shots/ scoring points, it's TERRIBLE when he's missing. Ironically, the ballhog's also the guy who yells at you to pass it more when you have the ball. Figures.
2. The foul-caller: Either the most fragile person on earth or just blatantly ignorant of what a foul is, the foul-caller will cry foul every time he has the ball, and sometimes when he doesn't have the ball ( the general guideline in pick-up basketball is not to call fouls when you don't have the ball, no offensive fouls, no loose-ball fouls, etc. unless TOTALLY flagrant). The foul-caller will stagnate the game tremendously and piss off everybody, and inevitably an argument will ensue as to what's a foul or not. Ironically, the foul-caller is also the guy who says "What foul?" when you foul him.
3. The Fountain: The guy who sweats profusely and doesn't apologize for you. If your team is "matching up" (deciding who guards who on the other team) with the team the Fountain is on, you can literally see the whole team gravitating AWAY from the Fountain, playing a sort of "Hot Potato" or "Nose Goes" game to see who gets the dishonorable distinction of guarding the Fountain. It is NOT pleasant to guard the Fountain. Ironically, the Fountain is usually also the guy who wants to grind under the basketball and initiate a LOT of contact, with disastrous results. Also see: the guy who smells. (Similar characteristics)
4. The Girl: When a girl plays, she's always "underestimated." She's never good cuz she's just good, she's "underrated." And when she makes a shot, it's always, "OOOOOOOHHHHH." Ironically, the Girl always actually has a shot, so the previously mentioned sound effect is repeated abundantly.
5. The Guy Playing with an Agenda: This guy had something happen before stepping on the court. Either he just got into a fight with his girlfriend, or someone spilled coffee on his lap earlier at McDonald's, or he didn't get as much meat as he wanted on his Chipotle burrito, SOMETHING.... he's playing with a chip on his shoulder, trying to blow off some steam. He swears, he's angry, he's violent, he fouls a lot. It's uncomfortable having Agenda Guy on your team; it's just downright painful to have him on the other team. Inevitably, Agenda Guy will try to get into a fight.
6. The Friends: The Friends come together, they've played together before, they're practicing for a tournament at a later time, they want to practice set plays, whatever, the Friends will NEVER pass to anybody but themselves.....literally, even if his boy is covered by 3 guys and 2 other teammates are wide open, the Friend will force it to his other Friend. I hate the Friends.
7. Cell Phone Guy: The guy who runs to his cell phone in the middle of the game. It's like, "what are you doing? We're playing basketball."
8. Excuse Guy: Excuse guy will have a reason for everything that he does wrong. "I just lifted before the game, so my shot is off." "I don't got my lucky shorts, sorry." "My nails are too long." "I had Chipotle before the game, my bad." "Is that a woman's ball?" "The rims are too small."
Note to Excuse Guy: I DON'T CARE!!!!!! STOP lifting before the game! Wear your shorts!!!! Do what you need to do to be ready! Play basketball!!!!!!!
9. Lazy Guy: Doesn't run down the court, doesn't box out, doesn't run after the ball. When you pass to him, he instantly shoots a contested 3-pointer, no questions asked. Lazy Guy makes you sick. Note: Lazy Guy usually actually is also Pretty Talented Guy, who thinks he's too good to hustle, too good to have to work for it. Ironically, Pretty Talented Lazy Guy will also be the guy who tells you what to do if something goes wrong because he thinks he knows what the problem is. Note to Pretty Talented Lazy Guy: YOU ARE the PROBLEM!!!!!!!
10. Finally, worse than any of the other guys you meet on the pickup court, is......Always Next Guy. Always Next Guy tries to do his best Hiro Nakamura impression, trying to be everywhere at one time. He's on one court and he's somehow next on the other court. If you're trying to get next, he and his friends are next. Why is he the worst? Not necessarily because of bad intent, I suppose, but if you can't get on the court, none of the other things even apply. Note to Always Next Guy: This isn't online poker. you can only play one game at a time. Another note to Always Next Guy: Learn to share.
Sigh. Yea, as you can imagine, I have a lot of anger towards pickup basketball people. In general, basketball's fun, everyone gets some exercise, and everyone get along. But when you throw in one or more of the aformentioned Guys ( I have no problem with Girls) things start to deteriorate. Quickly. If you're reading this and are one of these Guys, please, please, PLEASE remedy yourself. I realize I might exemplify to some degree one of these Guy characteristics, so I'll do my part to stop it too. That is all.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Guru's Gruesomely Incorrect Guesses Week 11
I know what you're thinking, "This kid just doesn't give up, does he?" yes, once again, I'm back with my guesses, and once again I'm ABSOLUTELY determined to do well. Brother Mouzone has challenged me for a 3rd consecutive week in a tiebreaker (tied 1-1 the previous 2 weeks).
After an 8-6 WINNING (yay!) record (thank god for Shaun Hill's last-second drive v. the Bills) and pushing the record to 43-36, Da Man wants to get back to 60% on the season in a full (meaning all teams play) week.
Picks that Brother and I disagree on are highlighted in red.
1.) Miami (-2.5) v. Chicago: Line moved in favor of Miami in this game.........but still gotta take Miami at home (they're basically saying that Chicago is a better team than the Dolphins, which I know as a Bears fan is patently false). Bears had their cupcake schedule in the 1st half to go to 6-3 but now face the big boys. Last time I saw Tyler Thigpen, he was throwing darts to Tony Gonzalez in KC and helping my 2008 fantasy teams in the playoffs. He's better than Chad (squared).
2.) Oakland (+7) at Pittsburgh. The line was set just right for this game and has effectively stumped me the whole week. Gimme 6 and I woulda taken Pitt, gimme 8 and I woulda taken Oakland. I'm lean toward points all the time, and this is another case.
3.) Houston (+7) at NYJ: Last time I picked a team that was just coming off of back-to-back OT games, I saw Kyle Orton throw incessantly in the first half en route to a drubbing of the Chiefs. Houston's weird; they can hang with any time but also lose to any team.
4.) Carolina (+10.5) v. Baltimore: Lemme try this one more time and hope the Ravens listen: B-MORE PLAYS WELL AGAINST THE GOOD TEAMS AND PLAYS DOWN TO THEIR COMPETITION!!!!
5.) Tennesee (-7) v. Washington: The naked eye test, the hard-stats test, the Standard Achievement test, whatever test you want to use, the Redskins look BAD.......and McNabb looks BAD......The Titans looked bad last week, but that was an anomaly. I always pick the Titans with confidence.
6.) Detroit ( +7 ) at Dallas: Has one team ever gone from being 14-point underdogs one week to 7-point favorites the next? Those who just jumped off the Cowboys' bandwagon are clamoring to get back on. You might wanna wait until they prove the wheels are back on the wagon, people.
7.) Green Bay (-3) at Minnesota. Pick. Against. Minnesota. For the rest of the year.
8.) Buffalo (+6) at Cincinatti. The Bengals have collapsed. Dunno why, but the Bills still play hard.
9.) Jacksonville (-1.5) v. Cleveland. Browns getting mad respect for playing 2 of the NFL's best tough. But what happens when they travel to a mediocre team on a random noon game w/ no coverage?
10.) Kansas City (-8) v. Arizona: The Chiefs will mohawk the Birds to death.
11.) New Orleans (-11.5) v. Seattle. Words cannot describe how bad the Seahawks are. If the Saints win, credit guest picker "Avon Lukesdale" (subtle "The Wire" trolling) contributed to this pick.
12.) Atlanta (-3) at St. Louis: Rams are young and eager, but not ready to win this game. Falcons had 3 extra days to prepare for this game.
13.) Bucs (+3.) at Niners. Whew, lot of games this week. Running.....out.....of breath!!!!
14.) Indianapolis (+3.5) at Patriots: These encounters usually come down to last-minute field goals
15.) Philadelphia (-3) v. NYG: How can you pick against Michael Vick right now?
16.) Broncos (+10) at Chargers: Whoa nelly, hold your horses, the Chargers still aren't that good, are they? Again, I like Kyle Orton and the passing attack. Uh, btw, bet the over on this game. For your own good.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
After an 8-6 WINNING (yay!) record (thank god for Shaun Hill's last-second drive v. the Bills) and pushing the record to 43-36, Da Man wants to get back to 60% on the season in a full (meaning all teams play) week.
Picks that Brother and I disagree on are highlighted in red.
1.) Miami (-2.5) v. Chicago: Line moved in favor of Miami in this game.........but still gotta take Miami at home (they're basically saying that Chicago is a better team than the Dolphins, which I know as a Bears fan is patently false). Bears had their cupcake schedule in the 1st half to go to 6-3 but now face the big boys. Last time I saw Tyler Thigpen, he was throwing darts to Tony Gonzalez in KC and helping my 2008 fantasy teams in the playoffs. He's better than Chad (squared).
2.) Oakland (+7) at Pittsburgh. The line was set just right for this game and has effectively stumped me the whole week. Gimme 6 and I woulda taken Pitt, gimme 8 and I woulda taken Oakland. I'm lean toward points all the time, and this is another case.
3.) Houston (+7) at NYJ: Last time I picked a team that was just coming off of back-to-back OT games, I saw Kyle Orton throw incessantly in the first half en route to a drubbing of the Chiefs. Houston's weird; they can hang with any time but also lose to any team.
4.) Carolina (+10.5) v. Baltimore: Lemme try this one more time and hope the Ravens listen: B-MORE PLAYS WELL AGAINST THE GOOD TEAMS AND PLAYS DOWN TO THEIR COMPETITION!!!!
5.) Tennesee (-7) v. Washington: The naked eye test, the hard-stats test, the Standard Achievement test, whatever test you want to use, the Redskins look BAD.......and McNabb looks BAD......The Titans looked bad last week, but that was an anomaly. I always pick the Titans with confidence.
6.) Detroit ( +7 ) at Dallas: Has one team ever gone from being 14-point underdogs one week to 7-point favorites the next? Those who just jumped off the Cowboys' bandwagon are clamoring to get back on. You might wanna wait until they prove the wheels are back on the wagon, people.
7.) Green Bay (-3) at Minnesota. Pick. Against. Minnesota. For the rest of the year.
8.) Buffalo (+6) at Cincinatti. The Bengals have collapsed. Dunno why, but the Bills still play hard.
9.) Jacksonville (-1.5) v. Cleveland. Browns getting mad respect for playing 2 of the NFL's best tough. But what happens when they travel to a mediocre team on a random noon game w/ no coverage?
10.) Kansas City (-8) v. Arizona: The Chiefs will mohawk the Birds to death.
11.) New Orleans (-11.5) v. Seattle. Words cannot describe how bad the Seahawks are. If the Saints win, credit guest picker "Avon Lukesdale" (subtle "The Wire" trolling) contributed to this pick.
12.) Atlanta (-3) at St. Louis: Rams are young and eager, but not ready to win this game. Falcons had 3 extra days to prepare for this game.
13.) Bucs (+3.) at Niners. Whew, lot of games this week. Running.....out.....of breath!!!!
14.) Indianapolis (+3.5) at Patriots: These encounters usually come down to last-minute field goals
15.) Philadelphia (-3) v. NYG: How can you pick against Michael Vick right now?
16.) Broncos (+10) at Chargers: Whoa nelly, hold your horses, the Chargers still aren't that good, are they? Again, I like Kyle Orton and the passing attack. Uh, btw, bet the over on this game. For your own good.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Shooting the (Breeze)
One of my favorite things to do in law school: Shoot the (Breeze) with law school classmates (a.k.a. fellow inmates, especially during 1L year). If you don't think you've ever done this, you're probably wrong; shooting the breeze for me has a large circumference, encompassing a large array of activites such as talking before class starts, waiting at a bus stop, chatting on gmail, basically anything that involves talking. O, and it can't be business talking; it's gotta be mundane, effortless converstation that has no agenda. Pretty much the only rule. If you STILL don't think you've ever done this, you really need to try it: it's pretty liberating.
As much as you might think shooting the breeze is intuitive, here are some tips for making your experience more enjoyable:
1. LARGE, COMFY chairs/couches. Oooo boy, you want one of those places that envelopes your body and where you can just slide back and let the world pass by you. You're gonna enjoy yourself, especially if you're coming off a large food coma or 2-hour stretch of class. At USC Law, everyone knows what I'm talking about: the blue chairs area in the middle of the law school. A.K.A. heaven on earth.
2. Circular area, preferably some sort of counter in the center to put your feet on. One of the worst things you can do is not being able to see everyone who's talking within your natural window of vision; this greatly mitigates the awesome experience of shooting the breeze. You gotta place a voice w/ a face.
3. Allow other people ot finish what they are saying before you cut them off. Obviously not strictly enforced and no harsh prophylactic remedies in place, but you want to hear everyone's thoughts; Monopolies are not encouraged. You never know what good stories might be stifled if there's one guy constantly going: "that reminds me of a great story I have!"
4. When allowable/possible, have alcohol (preferably beers) avaiable and in ample quality. Although not a big beer drinker myself, I have found through the years that people's conversation level/ amount they will divulge correlates positively with the liquor that they consume.
5. Allow for others to join the Breezy Circle at a moment's notice. Actually the bigger your Breezy Circle gets, the cooler you seem as compared to other circles around you, thus creating a chain-reaction effect or "supernova effect" where the biggest stars envelop smaller stars. Sort of. You get the analogy, right?
6. If you take a minute or more to tell a story, please make it be (at least) somewhat funny. Different cutoffs fore different people; but in Robert's Breezy Circle long-windedness is not a virtue.
7. Try not to form 2-person clique conversations. Obviously "Yo your car is blocking my car in the parking lot" is allowed, but if you start clique-ing, as I call it, others in the Breezy Circle reserve the right to jump in.
8. Talking smack about other people (exception: public figures) not probitied, but not advised; especially in a setting with many people, you never know who's listening, and who's best friends with who, and who's the gossip-monger of the city. So lesson here: If you talk smack, it might just come back.
9. No TV series/ movies/ sports spoilers!!! This often comes up because someone's overly enthusiastic about a movie they just saw, or a game they were watching. It starts innocently, like "Hey did you see that Lakers game?" To be fair, the spoiler should be careful, but the spoilee also has the obligation to stop the spoiling pre-emptively.
There's also a statute of limitations: different thresholds for different people. I go by "if the movie's been out for 5 years, it's fair game." Also, "if the sports event happened more than a week ago, it's fair game."
10. Kick back, relax, and have a good time; there's not that many times in law school, work, or LIFE in general that you have time to just sit around and do NOTHING; there's no telling where a random conversation can take you; but along the way just make sure you have some fun.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
As much as you might think shooting the breeze is intuitive, here are some tips for making your experience more enjoyable:
1. LARGE, COMFY chairs/couches. Oooo boy, you want one of those places that envelopes your body and where you can just slide back and let the world pass by you. You're gonna enjoy yourself, especially if you're coming off a large food coma or 2-hour stretch of class. At USC Law, everyone knows what I'm talking about: the blue chairs area in the middle of the law school. A.K.A. heaven on earth.
2. Circular area, preferably some sort of counter in the center to put your feet on. One of the worst things you can do is not being able to see everyone who's talking within your natural window of vision; this greatly mitigates the awesome experience of shooting the breeze. You gotta place a voice w/ a face.
3. Allow other people ot finish what they are saying before you cut them off. Obviously not strictly enforced and no harsh prophylactic remedies in place, but you want to hear everyone's thoughts; Monopolies are not encouraged. You never know what good stories might be stifled if there's one guy constantly going: "that reminds me of a great story I have!"
4. When allowable/possible, have alcohol (preferably beers) avaiable and in ample quality. Although not a big beer drinker myself, I have found through the years that people's conversation level/ amount they will divulge correlates positively with the liquor that they consume.
5. Allow for others to join the Breezy Circle at a moment's notice. Actually the bigger your Breezy Circle gets, the cooler you seem as compared to other circles around you, thus creating a chain-reaction effect or "supernova effect" where the biggest stars envelop smaller stars. Sort of. You get the analogy, right?
6. If you take a minute or more to tell a story, please make it be (at least) somewhat funny. Different cutoffs fore different people; but in Robert's Breezy Circle long-windedness is not a virtue.
7. Try not to form 2-person clique conversations. Obviously "Yo your car is blocking my car in the parking lot" is allowed, but if you start clique-ing, as I call it, others in the Breezy Circle reserve the right to jump in.
8. Talking smack about other people (exception: public figures) not probitied, but not advised; especially in a setting with many people, you never know who's listening, and who's best friends with who, and who's the gossip-monger of the city. So lesson here: If you talk smack, it might just come back.
9. No TV series/ movies/ sports spoilers!!! This often comes up because someone's overly enthusiastic about a movie they just saw, or a game they were watching. It starts innocently, like "Hey did you see that Lakers game?" To be fair, the spoiler should be careful, but the spoilee also has the obligation to stop the spoiling pre-emptively.
There's also a statute of limitations: different thresholds for different people. I go by "if the movie's been out for 5 years, it's fair game." Also, "if the sports event happened more than a week ago, it's fair game."
10. Kick back, relax, and have a good time; there's not that many times in law school, work, or LIFE in general that you have time to just sit around and do NOTHING; there's no telling where a random conversation can take you; but along the way just make sure you have some fun.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Parallell Parking
How do people who know how to parallell park do it so well? I don't understand it. One of the hardest things to do in life, next to solving the Rubix Cube and whistling for me. Whistling, I think, is never happening for me due to a genetic predisposition and the Rubix Cube is more of an intellectual exercise that I don't have the mental capacity for (or at least the spacial dimensions for), but PARALLELL PARKING!!!! URG!!! That should be me! I actually know how to drive! I'm aware of my surroundings! I check my blind spots!! What am I doing wrong?
Some problems with parallell parking:
1. First of all, I'm bad at guess-timating spaces. Lot of spaces to me seem big when I pass by them, so I slam on the brakes and start backing in, but all of a sudden the spot has shrunk; as I start backing in I realize I'm screwed; time to abort. Time wasted. Damn it!
2 . The exact reverse is also true. I'm so worried about picking a spot that's too small that I BYPASS spots that are sufficient; I go to a much-worse spot geographically and get serious buyer's remorse when I see the gigantic Air Force One hangar of a spot that I passed up. Damn it!
3. Stopping in the middle of the road to back in: especially on a busy street, with people right on my butt tailgating me, no matter how much notice I give, people still get real cranky when I stop for a spot. PLUS if I'm backing in, I'm always afraid my FRONT veers into the OTHER lane and I'll hit somebody. Damn it!
4. Seeing a cream-of-the crop spot open up a couple blocks away, but watching helplessly at a red light whilst your dream spot gets swiped away by another parking vulture. Happened to me last week; cursed myself repeatedly and slammed anything I could get my hands on. Hard. My steering wheel still hates me for it. Damn it!
5. getting into a spot successfully but then finding out the spot has street sweeping during that time, or is only one-hour parking while you need four, or is temporarily "NO PARKING" for the day. L.A. is famous for that. Damn it!
6. Saved the best (worst for last): actually backing into the spot. You next to the car in front, you start backing in, turn furiously just when you pass the other car, start to turn back....BAM. Hit the curb. Head still miles from being straight. No chance. Other car behind you getting restless. Knees week; palms are sweaty; you look like a worse and worse driver by the second. Happened to me countless number of times, lemme tell you. I swear, it would be a LOT better if I had a trunk cam letting me know exactly how far I am from the curb/ how far I am from the car behind, (which our family's 2009 Nissan has but NOOOOOOO....I don't get to drive that car). It's getting to be slightly embarrassing. Do I have to go to the local school parking lot on a weekend and bust out the orange cones???? Really? Has it come to that???? Really?
Hope you enjoyed that. Next time I do a random rant like this, I'll talk about something more interesting.....like bikram yoga. Or parkhour. Or dognapping. Something.
These are the players I'm starting on a bye-heavy Week 10 for my I-really-actually-care-about-this-fantasy-team team: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Jeremy Maclin, Pierre Garcon, Mike Goodson, Donald Brown, Lee Evans, and the Tennessee Defense. If you told me that'd be my lineup at the beginning of the season, I woulda told you to shoot myself in the face.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Some problems with parallell parking:
1. First of all, I'm bad at guess-timating spaces. Lot of spaces to me seem big when I pass by them, so I slam on the brakes and start backing in, but all of a sudden the spot has shrunk; as I start backing in I realize I'm screwed; time to abort. Time wasted. Damn it!
2 . The exact reverse is also true. I'm so worried about picking a spot that's too small that I BYPASS spots that are sufficient; I go to a much-worse spot geographically and get serious buyer's remorse when I see the gigantic Air Force One hangar of a spot that I passed up. Damn it!
3. Stopping in the middle of the road to back in: especially on a busy street, with people right on my butt tailgating me, no matter how much notice I give, people still get real cranky when I stop for a spot. PLUS if I'm backing in, I'm always afraid my FRONT veers into the OTHER lane and I'll hit somebody. Damn it!
4. Seeing a cream-of-the crop spot open up a couple blocks away, but watching helplessly at a red light whilst your dream spot gets swiped away by another parking vulture. Happened to me last week; cursed myself repeatedly and slammed anything I could get my hands on. Hard. My steering wheel still hates me for it. Damn it!
5. getting into a spot successfully but then finding out the spot has street sweeping during that time, or is only one-hour parking while you need four, or is temporarily "NO PARKING" for the day. L.A. is famous for that. Damn it!
6. Saved the best (worst for last): actually backing into the spot. You next to the car in front, you start backing in, turn furiously just when you pass the other car, start to turn back....BAM. Hit the curb. Head still miles from being straight. No chance. Other car behind you getting restless. Knees week; palms are sweaty; you look like a worse and worse driver by the second. Happened to me countless number of times, lemme tell you. I swear, it would be a LOT better if I had a trunk cam letting me know exactly how far I am from the curb/ how far I am from the car behind, (which our family's 2009 Nissan has but NOOOOOOO....I don't get to drive that car). It's getting to be slightly embarrassing. Do I have to go to the local school parking lot on a weekend and bust out the orange cones???? Really? Has it come to that???? Really?
Hope you enjoyed that. Next time I do a random rant like this, I'll talk about something more interesting.....like bikram yoga. Or parkhour. Or dognapping. Something.
These are the players I'm starting on a bye-heavy Week 10 for my I-really-actually-care-about-this-fantasy-team team: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Jeremy Maclin, Pierre Garcon, Mike Goodson, Donald Brown, Lee Evans, and the Tennessee Defense. If you told me that'd be my lineup at the beginning of the season, I woulda told you to shoot myself in the face.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Guru's Gutsy Guesses Week 10
Guru went a devastating (OUCH!) 4-7 last week (didn't count the NYG game as Hasselbeck declared out after my post was published, and pushed on CHI- BUFF. Now a very mediocre 35-30 record. Ew. That's like a 40-degree day: Not memorable at all. (Wire reference).
Admittedly, I was soundly beaten by Brother Mouzone, who's reportedly doing very well in Bill Simmons Pick'em League. The best of luck to him; he's really got a beat on the NFL and I'm (almost) jealous. I feel like I'm playing a game I don't understand, like trying to figure out where I'm going without a map (or GPS navigation) (or an I-Phone app). Sigh. Here's my last, valiant attempt at guessing games, with Brother Mouzone's (far superior) picks soon to follow in the comments.
Even Brother hinted that this week was one of the harder weeks he's come across.... If he's anticipating a hard time, it'll be like cutting wood with a butter knife for me.
1.) Baltimore +1 at Atlanta: First game and I'm already stumped. Ravens are one of the top 2 or 3 teams in the league, and they play UP to their competition (translation: pick them when they face good opponents, pick against them when they face bad ones ---- I think).
2.) Indianapolis -7 v. Cincinnatti: The Bengals' last gasp came Monday night at home: Time to mail it in, I believe. Colts actually desperate need every win they can get at 6-3.
3.) Jacksonville -1.5 v. Houston: Arian Foster is sick. Unfortunately they're on the road against a rested Jaguars squad who have one of the most reliable kickers (Scobee) for last-game situations and Schaub is not right.
4.) Tennessee -1 at Miami: I don't care about the addition of Randy, the Titans were better before that. Miami's good but just a step below the best teams. Also, can you believe the Dolphins haven't won at home yet?.......This is intriguing matchup too because will be victim to AFC's logjam of good teams.
5.) Chicago +1 v. Minnesota: Muddled amongst the Vikings' comeback win last week was the fact that they didnt' look very good. I don't like them and have no faith in them; but I have even less faith in my hometown Bears. In a battle of teams I don't like, I took the underdog and home team.
6.) Detroit +3 at Buffalo: I guess people think the Lions are really bad at home, but laying 3 to a winless team? The way they gave the Jets a run last Sunday? I think it's got a lot to do w/ whether Shaun Hill plays Sunday...........this bet might get pushed because who knows about the QB?
7.) NYJ -3 at Cleveland. Sigh. Browns, can you REALLY beat 2 top AFC East teams in a row?
8.) Tampa -6.5 v. Carolina: When I think Panthers I think: greasefire.
9.) Kansas City -1 at Denver: To all those who think the Chiefs are a "different team on the road," they put up a heck of a fight against an equally scrappy team in Oakland. I'm not worried about back-to-back overtimes.
10.) St. Louis +6 at SF: Seems like a lot of points for the Rams; can't give the Niners credit enough to win, much less cover.
11.) Arizona -3 v. Seattle: Irony that Seattle dominated this matchup 3 weeks ago but are underdogs now, huh? Derek Anderson showing a sliver of accuracy recently.
12.) Dallas +14 at NY Giants: Am I crazy? Maybe. But maybe the Cowboys get energized with a new coach. Maybe talent actually shows up. Maybe the Giants think they can just walk all over the 'Boys. Maybe the Giants DO walk all over the 'boys but like last time Dallas does work in garbage time. There's a lot of room for "maybes" between 0 and 14 NFL points.
13.) Pittsburgh -4.5 v. New England: As tough as the Patriots have been on the Steelers in the past, this is a different season and a different Pats team that shows more "Patsy" on defense than Patriots, what with gaping holes everywhere and whatnot.
14.) Philadelphia -3 at Washington: the Redskins desperately need this, and they're coming off a bye, and they beat the Eagles last time. But something tells me Philly is the class of the NFC this year.
C'mon, picks, one last gasp of air before I put a fork in myself!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Admittedly, I was soundly beaten by Brother Mouzone, who's reportedly doing very well in Bill Simmons Pick'em League. The best of luck to him; he's really got a beat on the NFL and I'm (almost) jealous. I feel like I'm playing a game I don't understand, like trying to figure out where I'm going without a map (or GPS navigation) (or an I-Phone app). Sigh. Here's my last, valiant attempt at guessing games, with Brother Mouzone's (far superior) picks soon to follow in the comments.
Even Brother hinted that this week was one of the harder weeks he's come across.... If he's anticipating a hard time, it'll be like cutting wood with a butter knife for me.
1.) Baltimore +1 at Atlanta: First game and I'm already stumped. Ravens are one of the top 2 or 3 teams in the league, and they play UP to their competition (translation: pick them when they face good opponents, pick against them when they face bad ones ---- I think).
2.) Indianapolis -7 v. Cincinnatti: The Bengals' last gasp came Monday night at home: Time to mail it in, I believe. Colts actually desperate need every win they can get at 6-3.
3.) Jacksonville -1.5 v. Houston: Arian Foster is sick. Unfortunately they're on the road against a rested Jaguars squad who have one of the most reliable kickers (Scobee) for last-game situations and Schaub is not right.
4.) Tennessee -1 at Miami: I don't care about the addition of Randy, the Titans were better before that. Miami's good but just a step below the best teams. Also, can you believe the Dolphins haven't won at home yet?.......This is intriguing matchup too because will be victim to AFC's logjam of good teams.
5.) Chicago +1 v. Minnesota: Muddled amongst the Vikings' comeback win last week was the fact that they didnt' look very good. I don't like them and have no faith in them; but I have even less faith in my hometown Bears. In a battle of teams I don't like, I took the underdog and home team.
6.) Detroit +3 at Buffalo: I guess people think the Lions are really bad at home, but laying 3 to a winless team? The way they gave the Jets a run last Sunday? I think it's got a lot to do w/ whether Shaun Hill plays Sunday...........this bet might get pushed because who knows about the QB?
7.) NYJ -3 at Cleveland. Sigh. Browns, can you REALLY beat 2 top AFC East teams in a row?
8.) Tampa -6.5 v. Carolina: When I think Panthers I think: greasefire.
9.) Kansas City -1 at Denver: To all those who think the Chiefs are a "different team on the road," they put up a heck of a fight against an equally scrappy team in Oakland. I'm not worried about back-to-back overtimes.
10.) St. Louis +6 at SF: Seems like a lot of points for the Rams; can't give the Niners credit enough to win, much less cover.
11.) Arizona -3 v. Seattle: Irony that Seattle dominated this matchup 3 weeks ago but are underdogs now, huh? Derek Anderson showing a sliver of accuracy recently.
12.) Dallas +14 at NY Giants: Am I crazy? Maybe. But maybe the Cowboys get energized with a new coach. Maybe talent actually shows up. Maybe the Giants think they can just walk all over the 'Boys. Maybe the Giants DO walk all over the 'boys but like last time Dallas does work in garbage time. There's a lot of room for "maybes" between 0 and 14 NFL points.
13.) Pittsburgh -4.5 v. New England: As tough as the Patriots have been on the Steelers in the past, this is a different season and a different Pats team that shows more "Patsy" on defense than Patriots, what with gaping holes everywhere and whatnot.
14.) Philadelphia -3 at Washington: the Redskins desperately need this, and they're coming off a bye, and they beat the Eagles last time. But something tells me Philly is the class of the NFC this year.
C'mon, picks, one last gasp of air before I put a fork in myself!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Guru's Gutsy Guesses Week 9
Similar to Cousin Sal challenging The Sports Guy (Bill Simmons for those of you who don't read ESPN articles religiously), a law school compadre of mine (let's call him Brother Mouzone for sake of a wire reference) has challenged the Guru on his Gutsy Guesses and will (supposedly) be posting his own picks in the comments. Brother Mouzone talks a big game, claiming he went 12-1 last week (missing just the Jets-Packers outcome, I mean seriously who woulda guessed the Jets would get goose-egged right?) and "averages about 8-5 every week." Riiiiight......
For the record, I was 7-6 last week and have now compiled a 31-23 record on the season, for a guessing percentage of roughly 58%. Big week, gotta learn from my mistakes, like these:
A. Dallas is BAD and can't stop anyone's air attack. Should DEFINITELY have listened to my own advice (bail on those talented but bad teams) and taken the Jags.
B. AFC teams > NFC teams....generally.
C. First decide who might win the game......THEN let the points come into play.
Anyway, without further ado, the 5th edition of Guru's Gutsy Guesses (again, not advocating gambling, people) **** Btw, the team that is listed first is my pick, just to clarify.
1. Buffalo +3 at Chicago.......The Bears had a week to rest here, and the Bills are WINLESS......Will Ryan Fitzpatrick lead them to their first victory here? The Bills have really done a good job for me putting up a fight against good teams to cover the spreads, so I'll stay with them here.
2. Houston +3 v. San Diego.........Word coming out now is Antonio Gates will probably miss this game w/ an injury, which might shift the line to like +2 or +1. Regardless, I'll take the Texans: San Diego hasn't won on the road yet and lost to KC, Oakland, and St. Louis.......Houston's probably better than any of those others.
3. Carolina +6.5 v. New Orleans.......Call me crazy (or underdog-happy), but the Saints just ARE NOT that impressive, and after a huge emotional victory @ home v. Pittsburgh this is perfect opportunity to have a letdown. Panthers are a home dog (you know what they say about home dogs = pick them) and have a history of playing the Saints close.
4. Arizona +9 @ Minnesota...........I'm gonna curse myself again (the last 3 weeks I've called a "sure-bet game" and lost every single one of them), but this has to be the best bet of the week.....Vikings just lost Randy Moss, Brett Favre's about to die, Brad Childress doesn't know where he is, the secondary...what secondary? ......the Vikings shouldn't be a nine-point favorite against ANYBODY, and the Cards aren't that bad, although they do have problems covering on the road. Still, I like them here, especially if the Derek Anderson-Larry Fitzgerald combo keeps clicking.
5. Tampa Bay +8.5 @ Atlanta: Classic case, I think, of more hyped-up team giving up too many points........Bucs are quitely (Shhhhh) o so quietly turning into a very legit, young team (dare I compare them to the Tennessee Titans?), and it's not like the Falcons routinely blow people out....This is my 2nd-most confident pick.
6. NYJ -4 @ Detroit: I read somewhere that out of the last 5 years Detroit is one of the WORST teams against the spread (there were a couple one-win, 3-win seasons in there, so yea, that figures). This is a different team. And Yes, Ndamokon Suh is a beast. But I'm gonna go with my AFC > NFC rule here.
7. Miami +5.5 @ Baltimore. Just a tough, bruising dogfight here. Miami hangs with Pittsburgh, beats the Bengals soundly, beats the Packers on the road. Feels like a late-second field goal.
8. New England -4.5 at Cleveland: The Patriots are the anti-Detroit: consistently cover like nobody's business. The loss of Randy Moss made them better, seriously it did cuz they brought back an all-business guy: Deion Branch. Last time I checked, Colt McCoy was still the Browns' QB, right?
9. Seattle +6.5 v. NY Giants: I think this week should officially be called the "Home Dog" week. EVERY matchup has a home dog!!!!! Classic case of a team going to the Pacific Northwest, something about the mist/ the fog, the rainy weather/the different time zones always confuse East Coast teams, even after supposedly a well-rested bye.
10. Kansas City +2.5 @ Oakland: I've gone back and forth on this pick. Seems as though the Black Hole is unfriendly for visiting teams and fuels the Raiders. Like Brother Mouzone suggested to me, Matt Cassel is NOT good, but would your rather have Jason Campbell? I wouldn't. The thing is, if Raiders get out to an early lead, I LOVE the Raiders (w/ Darren McFadden). But if the Raiders go down early, I HATE the Raiders (Jason Campbell leading your comeback charge? Uh-uh).
11. Indy +3 at Philadelphia: Brother Mouzone and I got into a heated exchange about this matchup: Yes, Indy is coming off Monday Night Football, it's black and blue from all the injuries, and it's on the road in Philly, where Michael Vick awaits and can shred the run defense. But Indy's just one of those teams you consistently pick, and I don't think many people have made a living picking AGAINST Peyton Manning.
12. Green Bay -8 v. Dallas. Curse you, Dallas. Picking against you out of spite.
13. Cincinnati +5 v. Pittsburgh. Bengals are always tough on the Steelers, I like the Home Dog that desperately needs it, although I will probably not pick the Bengals again after this game.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
(Your turn, Brother)
For the record, I was 7-6 last week and have now compiled a 31-23 record on the season, for a guessing percentage of roughly 58%. Big week, gotta learn from my mistakes, like these:
A. Dallas is BAD and can't stop anyone's air attack. Should DEFINITELY have listened to my own advice (bail on those talented but bad teams) and taken the Jags.
B. AFC teams > NFC teams....generally.
C. First decide who might win the game......THEN let the points come into play.
Anyway, without further ado, the 5th edition of Guru's Gutsy Guesses (again, not advocating gambling, people) **** Btw, the team that is listed first is my pick, just to clarify.
1. Buffalo +3 at Chicago.......The Bears had a week to rest here, and the Bills are WINLESS......Will Ryan Fitzpatrick lead them to their first victory here? The Bills have really done a good job for me putting up a fight against good teams to cover the spreads, so I'll stay with them here.
2. Houston +3 v. San Diego.........Word coming out now is Antonio Gates will probably miss this game w/ an injury, which might shift the line to like +2 or +1. Regardless, I'll take the Texans: San Diego hasn't won on the road yet and lost to KC, Oakland, and St. Louis.......Houston's probably better than any of those others.
3. Carolina +6.5 v. New Orleans.......Call me crazy (or underdog-happy), but the Saints just ARE NOT that impressive, and after a huge emotional victory @ home v. Pittsburgh this is perfect opportunity to have a letdown. Panthers are a home dog (you know what they say about home dogs = pick them) and have a history of playing the Saints close.
4. Arizona +9 @ Minnesota...........I'm gonna curse myself again (the last 3 weeks I've called a "sure-bet game" and lost every single one of them), but this has to be the best bet of the week.....Vikings just lost Randy Moss, Brett Favre's about to die, Brad Childress doesn't know where he is, the secondary...what secondary? ......the Vikings shouldn't be a nine-point favorite against ANYBODY, and the Cards aren't that bad, although they do have problems covering on the road. Still, I like them here, especially if the Derek Anderson-Larry Fitzgerald combo keeps clicking.
5. Tampa Bay +8.5 @ Atlanta: Classic case, I think, of more hyped-up team giving up too many points........Bucs are quitely (Shhhhh) o so quietly turning into a very legit, young team (dare I compare them to the Tennessee Titans?), and it's not like the Falcons routinely blow people out....This is my 2nd-most confident pick.
6. NYJ -4 @ Detroit: I read somewhere that out of the last 5 years Detroit is one of the WORST teams against the spread (there were a couple one-win, 3-win seasons in there, so yea, that figures). This is a different team. And Yes, Ndamokon Suh is a beast. But I'm gonna go with my AFC > NFC rule here.
7. Miami +5.5 @ Baltimore. Just a tough, bruising dogfight here. Miami hangs with Pittsburgh, beats the Bengals soundly, beats the Packers on the road. Feels like a late-second field goal.
8. New England -4.5 at Cleveland: The Patriots are the anti-Detroit: consistently cover like nobody's business. The loss of Randy Moss made them better, seriously it did cuz they brought back an all-business guy: Deion Branch. Last time I checked, Colt McCoy was still the Browns' QB, right?
9. Seattle +6.5 v. NY Giants: I think this week should officially be called the "Home Dog" week. EVERY matchup has a home dog!!!!! Classic case of a team going to the Pacific Northwest, something about the mist/ the fog, the rainy weather/the different time zones always confuse East Coast teams, even after supposedly a well-rested bye.
10. Kansas City +2.5 @ Oakland: I've gone back and forth on this pick. Seems as though the Black Hole is unfriendly for visiting teams and fuels the Raiders. Like Brother Mouzone suggested to me, Matt Cassel is NOT good, but would your rather have Jason Campbell? I wouldn't. The thing is, if Raiders get out to an early lead, I LOVE the Raiders (w/ Darren McFadden). But if the Raiders go down early, I HATE the Raiders (Jason Campbell leading your comeback charge? Uh-uh).
11. Indy +3 at Philadelphia: Brother Mouzone and I got into a heated exchange about this matchup: Yes, Indy is coming off Monday Night Football, it's black and blue from all the injuries, and it's on the road in Philly, where Michael Vick awaits and can shred the run defense. But Indy's just one of those teams you consistently pick, and I don't think many people have made a living picking AGAINST Peyton Manning.
12. Green Bay -8 v. Dallas. Curse you, Dallas. Picking against you out of spite.
13. Cincinnati +5 v. Pittsburgh. Bengals are always tough on the Steelers, I like the Home Dog that desperately needs it, although I will probably not pick the Bengals again after this game.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
(Your turn, Brother)
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