Letter to the Fantasy Baseball Gods

Dear Gods,
It's me again, Robert Yan, the poor soul who's called in to you so many times to fix whatever's wrong with Matt Kemp, to unleash your powers of healing on Jimmy Rollins, and to get A.J. Burneet to miraculously understand how to throw strikes.
Some of my prayers have been answered, others have not been, whatever the case may be, I as you to look upon my humble self and deliver a weekend's worth (Fri., Sat., Sun.) of good luck. As the week has gone, you've blessed my opponent with five stolen bases single-handedly by Shane Victorino, 6 saves in 3 days, and a 1.69 ERA and 0.82 WHIP. Cleary unbeatable in those 4 categories, so that forces me to capture 5.5 of the remaining 6 categories to win. I'm one down in runs, tied in HR's, down 1 in Wins and up in the rest.
Not an impossible task to rally back from, but definitely a daunting one. Everything needs to go right, and that's where you come in, Gods. Specific requests: Let Eric Young, Jr. be infused with the experience and wisdom of his father, EY and run wild on the bases for the Rocks, let Corey Hart and Pat the Bat Burrell be given lightening in their bats so that their mighty hacks will result in prodigious HR's, let Evan Longoria, Matt Holliday, and Adrian Gonzalez produce like the fantasy studs they're supposed to be, where their names will forever be remembered as part of legendary lore. You don't need to do anything with Matt Kemp, I've given up on him.
Let Jhoulys Chacin establish himself firmly as the fireballing young horse of the Rockies rotation, let Ervin Santana continue the trend of dominance against Mariner bats, let Nick Blackburn (if I decide to add him) get incredible sinking action on his sinkerball, let Max Scherzer live up to the Mighty Max moniker he's earned all season.
If all of these things do happen, I will be in good shape to the next round of the playoffs, in which I will be so badly situated with my lineup and rotation that I'll quickly fall behind and have to pray to you once again for assistance, but for now, please address these issues as you see fit, and I will be your loyal and trusty follower forever.

Very Truly Yours,

Robert "Da Man" Yan

P.S. Let the Fantasy Football gods know that Robert called and will need their help soon. Thanks!