Hey guys, just a reminder, only 92 short days away from the National Spelling Bee. To all participants NOT named josephine kao, I hope you're studying hard, cuz you need your A+++ game to beat the Contestant with the Mostest, Josephine the Spelling Queen.
(Btw, shout out to my ConLaw buddy DFisch, who tuned into the blog for the first time today and has been sucked in by my artful rhetoric).
Anyway, so as a 1L the big thing that's on most people's minds (at least, the ones who don't have one yet) is how to obtain that 1L summer job. I do have an interview coming up on wednesday, which gets me excited that I have prospects, but also reminds me that I have been rejected by the 2 places I've interviewed with already. Bleh. Anyway, to get a job you need a resume, and to fill up a resume you need credentials, positive attributes that describe you or positive experiences that you've had before that may qualify you for a job.
So as you may have guessed, I unleash Resumemania: a splurge of resumes from top basketball players, sports stars, guys in the news, Oscar winners, you name it. I'll start with #1:
Robert Yan:
- Awesome
- born in the wild, raised by wolves
- speaks 3 languages: English, Mandarin, and Badass
-Education: School of Hard Knocks.
Email: Thisguysblogisawesome.com
Experience: kicked butt in various fantasy leagues, bought low and sold high in key situations, forecasted Danny Granger's rise to stardom + Dwayne Wade's return to superstardom, General awesomeness
Intangibles: Gives great kisses to babies.
Interests: long walks on the beach
Nate Robinson:
2-time NBA Slam Dunk Champion
Education: Read "How to step on someone as a footstool and then dunk"
Email: Ionlygot52%ofthevote.com
Intangibles: Wants to win badly, as evidenced by loud yelling and general antics after monster dunks.
Calling Card: Blocked 7'6'' Yao Ming. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svsHlH-IvbY
Glen "Big Baby" Davis
School: Sorry, hasn't gotten past being a "big baby" yet.
- whenever in game, everyone else seems to fall down around him.
- Plays with emotion on his sleeve (and tears too, after getting called out by KG earlier this year)
Looking for: Position as RA at Camp Shaq's Big Challenge.
Rod Blagojevich:
- former governor of Illinois
Education: Pepperdine University School of Law
- adept at making the state of Illinois's money disappear.
- very supportive of wife and her decisions, especially with illegal maneuvers.
- excellent negotiation skills when deciding how much U.S. Senate seats go for.
- great sensitivity to whether or not there are federal wiretaps on phones that can record conversations in which he may or may not be selling U.S. Senate seats.
Languages: Money, Money, Corruption, Money.
Erin Andrews
ESPN sideline reporter
- looks great on camera
- likes Asian men who go to law school
- appreciates long walks on the beach.
- would love to spend time with whoever came up with fantasysportguru.blogspot.com
Charles Barkley
a.k.a "A. Blackman," the name he checked into hotels as
- TNT commentator
Education: Charles Oakley's School for Using Elbows
- risk-taker, stays calm after losing large sums of money
- honors promises: once kissed a donkey's behind as part of bet
- fast: beat 73-year-old NBA referee Dick Bevetta in a running contest
Languages: perpetually slurred form of English.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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