First Impressions

Ever hear how your first impression is what you're always remembered as? Here's a bunch of first impressions of peeps i would have if i saw them the first time (of course somewhat biased due to what I already know about them) :

Steve Nash - European
Kendrick Perkins- certifiably crazy
David Beckham- stallion
Shaq: husky
Zydrunas Ilgauskas: Bald Eagle
LeBron James: Huge
Rod Blagojevich: Scummy
Manny Ramirez: loose
Jack Bauer: tough
Kobe Bryant: arrogant
OJ Simpson: guilty
Tim Duncan: awkward
Obama: Motivating
Sean May: ate a lot of chocolates
Mike Tyson: caged animal
Cole Hamels: sounds like a cigarette
Ryan Howard: beefy
Craig Biggio: dirty
Daisuke Matsuzsaka: nibbly
John Edwards: used car salesman
Tony Parker: Casanova
Dwayne Wade: winner
Theo Huxtible: funny
Judge Judy: mean
walter hermann: not fantasy-friendly
Rasheed Wallace: Wiley E. Coyote
Jay Leno: whatever this guy's selling, I ain't buying.

Fantasize on,
Robert Yan

Job Resumes

Hey guys, just a reminder, only 92 short days away from the National Spelling Bee. To all participants NOT named josephine kao, I hope you're studying hard, cuz you need your A+++ game to beat the Contestant with the Mostest, Josephine the Spelling Queen.
(Btw, shout out to my ConLaw buddy DFisch, who tuned into the blog for the first time today and has been sucked in by my artful rhetoric).

Anyway, so as a 1L the big thing that's on most people's minds (at least, the ones who don't have one yet) is how to obtain that 1L summer job. I do have an interview coming up on wednesday, which gets me excited that I have prospects, but also reminds me that I have been rejected by the 2 places I've interviewed with already. Bleh. Anyway, to get a job you need a resume, and to fill up a resume you need credentials, positive attributes that describe you or positive experiences that you've had before that may qualify you for a job.

So as you may have guessed, I unleash Resumemania: a splurge of resumes from top basketball players, sports stars, guys in the news, Oscar winners, you name it. I'll start with #1:

Robert Yan:
- Awesome
- born in the wild, raised by wolves
- speaks 3 languages: English, Mandarin, and Badass
-Education: School of Hard Knocks.
Email: Thisguysblogisawesome.com
Experience: kicked butt in various fantasy leagues, bought low and sold high in key situations, forecasted Danny Granger's rise to stardom + Dwayne Wade's return to superstardom, General awesomeness
Intangibles: Gives great kisses to babies.
Interests: long walks on the beach

Nate Robinson:
2-time NBA Slam Dunk Champion
Education: Read "How to step on someone as a footstool and then dunk"
Email: Ionlygot52%ofthevote.com
Intangibles: Wants to win badly, as evidenced by loud yelling and general antics after monster dunks.
Calling Card: Blocked 7'6'' Yao Ming. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svsHlH-IvbY

Glen "Big Baby" Davis
School: Sorry, hasn't gotten past being a "big baby" yet.
- whenever in game, everyone else seems to fall down around him.
- Plays with emotion on his sleeve (and tears too, after getting called out by KG earlier this year)
Looking for: Position as RA at Camp Shaq's Big Challenge.

Rod Blagojevich:
- former governor of Illinois
Education: Pepperdine University School of Law
- adept at making the state of Illinois's money disappear.
- very supportive of wife and her decisions, especially with illegal maneuvers.
- excellent negotiation skills when deciding how much U.S. Senate seats go for.
- great sensitivity to whether or not there are federal wiretaps on phones that can record conversations in which he may or may not be selling U.S. Senate seats.
Languages: Money, Money, Corruption, Money.

Erin Andrews
ESPN sideline reporter
- looks great on camera
- likes Asian men who go to law school
- appreciates long walks on the beach.
- would love to spend time with whoever came up with fantasysportguru.blogspot.com

Charles Barkley
a.k.a "A. Blackman," the name he checked into hotels as
- TNT commentator
Education: Charles Oakley's School for Using Elbows
- risk-taker, stays calm after losing large sums of money
- honors promises: once kissed a donkey's behind as part of bet
- fast: beat 73-year-old NBA referee Dick Bevetta in a running contest
Languages: perpetually slurred form of English.

Fantasize on,
Robert Yan

97 Days Until Spelling Bee

Yup- I'm still counting it down.

Also, there's like 40 days left until the start of the baseball season, and more importantly, the fantasy baseball season. Can't wait.

Quick rundown in the day of hoops, a fantasy tidbit from each game, real bread n' butter fantasy guru ( I have Everybody Loves Raymond to watch in 6 minutes) :

1.) Charlotte over Indiana:

G-wall is back, and he's taking control: close to a triple-double tonight, great numbers: but it's against the Pacers, a phrase that means, "curb your enthusiasm"

2.) Cleveland over Toronto:

Anderson Varejao, a.k.a. Carlito, grabbed 14 rebounds = still fantasy relevant.

3.) Denver over Philadelphia:

Recentally, Chris Anderson stated instead of "Birdman" he wanted to be called "Bird-zilla." Wow. Hey, keep posting 4 or more blks for me every night, Chris, and I'll call u anything you want. Sonny Weems IS actually a basketball player and not just J.R. Smith's wierd helper! No way!

4.) Minnesota over Miami:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the best line Sebastian Telfair will ever put up ever again: 30 pts, 6 3's, 10-10 FT's, 8 asts, 5 TO's, 1 stl. Frame it and put it on your wall, Sebastian.

5.) N. Orleans (where I'm going for spring break) over Orlando:
J.J. Redick shot three more 3's (four) than Peja (one?) what is this world comin to?

6.) Chicago over Milwaukee: Ramon Sessions, welcome back to earth: 12 pts on 5-13, 4 asts against 4 TO's is very luke ridnour-like. Except being white and all.

7.) Dallas over New Jersey:
Finally, J-Kidd beat the guy he was traded for, Devin Harris. Kidd had more 3's, more asts, less turnovers, and more points. Eat your heart out, Mark Cuban. And Antoine Wright had 20 pts. Who?

8.) Atlanta over Sacramento:
Bibby rocked it in his old stomping grounds. Hey Sac, ain't getting better w/o John Salmons, folks.

9.) Portland over Memphis: Darius Miles w/ 4 blks? Was he guarding Sun Yue or someone?
Rudy Gay mildly making me regret trading him.

10.) Phoenix over LA: Al Thornton with 33 points: But he's no Kevin Durant.

11.) Lakers over Warriors: I saw this game and Jamal Crawford literally scored 10 points in garbage time. Man that man manages to look good even in losses.

Fantasize on,
Robert Yan

4.)

All-star weekend '09

Watching the NBA all-star weekend festivities. I personally think the best part of the weekend, and the one that should get the most ratings/ is the most entertaining, is the saturday part: the contests: shooting stars, skills challenge, 3-point contest, and dunk contest.

Last year I wanted to make a stand and make some predictions, and they fell flat in my face. This year, I'm goin' big or goin' home.

I woulda picked Phoenix in the shooting stars challenge...........that woulda fell on my face.


Here's my pick for skills: it's down to tow, rose or harris: I'll take d-harris.

3-point contest: gotta take kapono again.

Dunk contest: Dwight Howard.

Man, so not a very difficult contest to handicap, both favorites are defending champs.

What were you doing in eighth grade?

As part of this special early-February weekend blogging binge on the spelling bee, this post is somewhat of a mix between 2 of my fav things: fantasy sports and spelling bees.

So we all remember what eighth grade was like: For some of us, it happened not too long ago and we have vivid memories of what occurred. For others, we age and we forget. But I believe everyone can at least recall some sights, sounds, smells, and emotions of their time in eighth grade and live back on it, whether it's the feel of the wintry breeze on your face in a snowball fight, the pounding of a teacher's ruler on your desk, the smell of bad cafeteria food wafting into your classroom before lunch, or the butterflies you get in your stomach upon deciding the girl two lockers down is worthy of puppy love. Lemme share mine: In eight grade, I was reading Brian Jacques books, almost the whole series, from Matthias, to the Bellmaker, to the Long Patrol. All very good. I was going to high school in the morning for some math classes, I thought I was a badass for being able to swear profusely, but was also just getting to understand what maturity was all about, I graduated from junior high NOT the valedictorian (that went to Katie Sulkowski) in what was soon to be a series of setbacks, I was continuing my nascent chess career that would continue into high school, I played violin without passion and with the motivation of satisfying my parents, and I liked to watch episodes of Beast Wars and Home Improvement before and after I got home. O, and I didn't know how to drive yet. Wow, that must have been tough.

The following are what I think certain people did when they were in eighth grade and what they do now, or vice versa (you'll see).

Lebron James then: Lebron probably was just as studly as he was now, playing b-ball with the big boys, throwing down monster dunks, being an athletic freak. His parents probably called him "the king," he liked to go outside in the wintertime, scoop up some snow in both hands, and throw them in the air with arms outstretched, understanding that some short years later he would be make that his signature move in the NBA.

Josh Smith then: Josh Smith was the human eraser. On any tests or homework assignments, he liked to scribble something on his paper just to furiously erase it, so emphatically in fact that he would gain a lot of attention from his peers. The one thing that really got people's attention, though, was when he reached over to OTHER people's papers and started erasing as well. Just when those people thought that they had written something good, Josh Smith would come over and destroy their work. He would do this all smoothly
Josh Smith now: J-Smoove does the same thing he did in the NBA, except with basketballs, and he does it w/ pazzaz.

Anurag Kashyap then: In 2005 as an eighth-grader, Anurag Kashyap won the National Spelling Bee and became one of the more legendary winners ever, becoming a main character in James Maguire's spelling bee book, getting on the ESPY awards and doing a skit with Matthew Perry a la friends, and doing it with style when girls screamed for him on his last word, he hugged his dad in tears, and in one of the longest championship rounds at the National Spelling Bee ever.
Anurag Kashyap now: A mere 3.5 years later, Anurag, as a senior in high school, competed and won the Jeopardy! Teen Tournament, hosted by Alec Trebek. His last question in final Jeopoardy didn't even matter, as he had double the points of any of his closest competitors, further proving that this guy is a beast. What's next for him? Hosting his own news network? First man on Neptune? Men's Magazine cover? Our next President? Sheesh.

Barry Bonds now: Being indicted for perjury, may go to jail for lying about use of steroids
Barry Bonds then: started creeping into his parents' medicine cabinet, found some weird-looking needles, got curious......

Michael Phelps now: Most well-known Olympic athlete in the country, reputation tarnished by pictures of him doing a bong.
Michael Phelps then: After a long day of practice in the pool, young Michael meets up with his friends after school, they get bored, they know of one "Doug Wheeler" across the street who may have some mind-altering substances......

Matthew Evans now: In 2008 National Spelling bee, came back for a fifth-straight year and didn't win, but became famous for lugging around a laptop with about 30,000 words:
Matthew Evans later: In 2020, Matthew Evans becomes first person from New Mexico to ever do something...........He creates new Evans' New Dictionary, filled with cool new words nobody's ever heard of.

Samir Patel now: Possibly most famous spelling bee contestant ever, definitely the best contestant ever not to win. Very entertaining, fist-pumping, knuckle-cracking young man always seemed prepared, was ready for a comment, and was made for Tv.
Samir Patel then: In 2015, Samir Patel takes over for Conan O'Brien on NBC's the Late show w/ Samir Patel. His first joke: "Yes, now even your late-night television has been outsourced."

Baron Davis now: Universally recognized as a great point guard with very flashy skills, but posts atrocious FG%'s and turnover numbers.
Baron Davis then: Instead of building things with legos, loved to go out in the neighborhood and accumulate bricks and build things, which really irritated his parents and also other kids who were watching him do this. He also loved apple turnover, cranberry turnover, lost-ball turnover, step-out-of-bounds turnover.........

Richie Sexson now: swing-and-a-miss
Richie Sexson then: swing-and-a-miss

Yao Ming, Tracy McGrady, and Ron Artest now: Tale of the walking wounded
Yao Ming, T-Mac, and Ron-Ron then: Yao steps on earthworm, slips, gum slips out of his pocket, T-Mac comes over and slips on the gum, forcing him to let go of the cotton balls in his hand, hitting Ron Artest squarely in the upper thigh. All out for the season.

Shaquille O'Neal now: In 2007, started show called "Shaq's Big Challenge"
Shaquille O'Neal then: Attended a summer camp called "Camp Big Challenge"

Josephine Kao now: studying hard for another 107 days (That's the subtle countdown that I threw in today) with the support of an awesome, entertaining, can't-miss-a-post blog called Fantasysportguru.
Josephine Kao then: In 2019, ten years after winning the 2009 National Spelling Bee and graduating from (insert awesome college here) University, she remembers what she did in eighth grade.

Fantasize on,
Robert Yan

The Josephine Kao Effect- Why I will be watching the Spelling Bee this year

What up gang,

I told you I'd be a little elusive since 2nd semester of law school started, but felt I needed to check in. Unfortunately, for those of you looking for fantasy-related stuff, that's next post, and I promise I'll post more often. I've made a "contract," if you will, with myself that binds me to that promise. It's like an attorney-client relationship: You click the mouse, I protect your (fantasy house).

Anyway, today I want to turn back to something that was one of the highlights of my 2008 year: The 2008 National Spelling Bee. Not just the actual spelling bee itself, but the events that led up to it. (But if you do want to see my thoughts on last year's bee, look up what I wrote last summer w/ posts on June 1st and June 7th).

First off, I am no spelling whiz. In junior high, I had 3 chances at spelling bee glory and failed miserably all 3 times: 1.) My first year I actually got to the school spelling bee, where I was eliminated on the word "melisha," or at least, how i spelled it. It was only later I found it it was militia, which seems obvious to any clear-minded adult now but was a mystery to me back there, i thought it was either a term for a cute-looking girl or some sort of watery cesspool, one of the 2. )The next year I was eliminated on "winsome" when I thought my teacher pronounced it "windsome," which might be a word? I didn't think to ask for a re-pronunciation back in the day, and I still contest that she didn't say it that well, kind of like the infamous "banns" controversy in the "Spellbound movie." 3.) My last time through, I also advanced to the school spelling bee, knocked out on "opthamology"- I think that's how you spell it. Tough word for an 8th grader.

Anyways, my point is that almost all kids have some memory of going through a spelling bee. Most of us remember that word that we got out on, the few seconds of disappointment of what could have been, then go back to our normal lives. I think for the few exceptional students who make it to the Scripps National Spelling Bee every year, it just makes it so much more amazing that they're there. They compete against 20 million other students across the country in this competition, PLUS spellers from foreign countries. Every time there's a national spelling bee, then, it's a compilation of some of the smartest, most hard-working, competitive, and hope-inspiring kids that come across the country to compete for one goal, and I think it's one of the best aspects of our country. ( And people say U.S. is behind in education? pssshhhh).

I know there's a few blogs out there that cover the National Spelling Bee in-depth on the days of the spelling bee, but I'd like to throw my name in the hat, and if you guys are long-time readers you know I provide smart, funny analysis of live games, and I'm gonna pour my heart into blogging for the spelling bee this year as well.

I'm also going to be updating the blog on days leading up to the big event, like a "only 20 days until Christmas sort of thing." So this year, the spelling bee is May 26-28, starting on a Tuesday, so we only have 108 Days Until the National Spelling Bee! Yay! But yea, lemme build up the hype, come along for the ride, I promise you're gonna like it.

So what's this Josephine Kao effect, you might wonder? Well, last year I was really impressed with several of the spellers in the spelling bee and blogged about a few being formidable contestants for this year, and I identified most with Josephine cuz she's a fellow Californian, a fellow Asian-American (I'm assuming this is right, correct me if I'm wrong), and it didn't hurt that she got an interview on ESPN with Erin Andrews ( who if you don't know, EVERY male sports fan wants to have a prolonged conversation with).

Anyway, I blogged about Josephine and her mad spelling skills, and she actually read the blog and commented back! (At least, someone claiming to be her) Yay! Proof that hard work pays off, and that I'm not just writing about nothing! Haha, but yea, my post was very sincere, every spelling bee that I have watched I have a favorite, and I root for that person. So needless to say, I've hopped on the Josephine Kao bandwagon. I feel like I should make a catchy shirt that says, "Josephine: the spelling queen" and have Erin Andrews come interview me at the spelling bee as a super-fan. Meanwhile, Josephine and many other young spellers are studying really hard right now just preparing for that day 4 months away when they can showcase their skills, leave it all out on the microphone, and put their spelling where their mouth is.

So that's that. Make sure you get ready to watch the spelling bee this year, make plans to come back to this blog on those days to get the latest update on the bee, even if you're watching the bee you should come on here just to read the posts, I promise to keep it entertaining for you.


Fanaticize on,
Robert Yan