Monday, January 18, 2016

Worthy Rivals (好敵手)

For a guy who's as competitive as I am, there's nothing like worthy rivals, or "koutekishu" in Japanese. There are bitter rivals, sworn enemies, and frenemies, but worthy rivals is a bit different: I respect worthy rivals a lot for being there and want to beat them in an endeavor not because I dislike them, it is because I know they are at the top of their game and will give it their all, and beating them requires me being better. I appreciate worthy rivals because the game wouldn't be fun, the endeavor not worth it if not for them; it's like the bad guy in a movie, they play the role of setting up the hero, and when you do beat them, it feels like an accomplishment in life, a mountain that one can climb, a notch in one's belt, and there are no hard feelings between the competitors, both know that it was the fruit of a hard-fought, well-deserved match.

This weekend in Las Vegas, I engaged in what in my opinion was one of the highest level of dodgeball in the country, maybe in the world, in the Weho Dodgeball-hosted "Sin City Shootout," basically part of an LGBT Olympics event held in Las Vegas every January. Although I myself am not LGBT, I appreciate the event and the ability to meet a lot of LGBT people and participate in the event. But honestly, what I love most is the competition. 40 teams of dodgeball teams (mostly from LA) but from around the world. I know there's other dodgeball organizations out there and if there was more money in the sport there'd be much better athletes playing and whatnot, but for one weekend I can pretend (with some merit) that it's the best dodgeball tournament in the world.

Last year, the champion was 5CardStuds, a team who beat my team to win the championship. I had to wait all year to come back to that tournament, thinking about what could have been, how close my team was, and how to beat 5CardStuds. To my great delight, 5CardStuds came back to defend their title with essentially the same team coming back, sparking my drive to come back and beat them this year. As a sports fan since childbirth, there's nothing like a good revenge tale, a sports narrative that never gets old, a team rising from the ashes to conquer the foe that beat them previously. This weekend, I was able to live out that fantasy by having our team topple the defending champion 5CardStuds in the semifinals in a 2-1 Best of Three match that saw various swings. Sin City Dodgeball goes fast (each match is set up to go just 8 minutes and it's only 8-on-8, so the action went quick enough to make one's head spin. I live a pretty boring life, more so in a competitive wise, as my main competitive endeavors are things like my law school fantasy baseball league, a ESPN pick'em league, and chess back in high school when I felt I could be somebody. In my mid-20's I was  lucky enough to fuel those competitive juices with the game of dodgeball, and it gives me a purpose that I've rarely been able to use before. For one weekend, I could live my fantasy of being a sports star, a part of a team that was playing for something meaningful, where there were crowds watching all our games (there was actually a nice 100-200 person crowd of the dodgeball community watching our playoff games which was really pretty fun) and chasing that opportunity to be the best in the world. On this weekend our team fell short again (got 2nd for the 2nd straight year! GAH!) but I still feel like a winner due to the experience I went through.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Throwing a Shrimp to catch a Mackerel (海老で鯛を釣る)

The Japanese have a saying, to throw a shrimp out as bait (while fishing) to catch a mackerel, meaning to get a big profit from putting out little effort. Well, the wait is over, as the big Powerball jackpot that the U.S. has been in a craze for the last couple weeks was finally claimed tonight, someone finally got their mackerel (hit the lottery) and took the prize away. The more I think about it, the more I dislike the lottery, for various reasons that I've already gotten into, so let's move on...

The above phrase also describes "being able to obtain a girlfriend easily without putting out much effort." That's never been the case for me, and if anything I've always suffered from the opposite problem, putting in too much effort and not getting enough back. Recently, however, I've met someone very special in my life, and we've become a couple! It's almost surreal, that I can talk to someone every day and share my life and my experiences with, who I like and I know who likes me back. It's a feeling that I haven't really had before (this is my first gf) and hope to continue to experience for a long time (if not forever), but paradoxically, I didn't have to expend that much energy! It's almost as if what they say is true: sometimes instead of pushing you have to pull, just let dating come naturally and not want it so badly, that it might eventually come naturally. I didn't really try to go to extremes like internet dating or whatnot, I met my gf naturally and gradually got to know her, went out as friends a few times and then eventually asked her to an actual date, then in San Antonio over New Year's officially asked her to be my girlfriend. It's really a fun and wild ride!

Whatever the reasons for mutual attraction and this time being more successful than other attempts, I do think it's important that both parties like each other. It saves so much wasted emotion/ stress/ misunderstanding. I've been in plenty of situations where there was kataomoi (片思い) by one party, (more on my part admittedly but there HAVE BEEN SOME THE OPPOSITE!!!!) and it just doesn't mesh as well.....one side almost has to sell oneself to the other side to invest in them, it just doesn't seem natural. When I'm with my girlfriend (wow, it's weird even using that term and making it "official") the pressure is off to try to impress her (not that I don't try, not in a bad way where I just take her for granted I hope) so everything seems more natural, and I know that she already likes me for me, so I can express myself honestly and openly, but because I do actually like her too, I'm able to express positive feelings and emotions that make her like me more (I think), which in turn makes her say and do things that make me like her more, and the cycle keeps going on. I might just be naive and in the so-called "honeymoon phase," (I'll circle back on this article a few months later and hope that I don't derisively laugh at myself for being so lacking in sense, but that's how I feel now, and it feels great. I truly lucked out on this one. 海老で鯛を釣る! I really like the mackerel that I got! 

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Cantonese (広東語)

One of my New Year's resolutions (other than losing 5 pounds and writing more in this blog, neither of which has happened yet) was to learn Cantonese. But is it really prudent given that I'm learning Japanese? Will the different sounds and knowledge get me confused? It's an interesting experiment. Also, is there any benefit to learning Cantonese for a native Mandarin speaker.

Cantonese and Shanghainese have always been the sort of "I'll get to it later" projects that I wish I'd done earlier in life; instead of sulking about my chess abilities in high school or wasting away my life on online poker during college, I should have honed in my skills on another language. THAT would have been the perfect time to learn Japanese (instead of trying to learn more words in English and being obsessed with the Mole, Survivor, and the National Spelling Bee). It would free me up now to study another language now, very practical skills with practical applications: when I went to Hong Kong and Macau 2 years ago, I wasn't able to communicate with some people due to their Cantonese, and didn't understand people in my home country (depending on how one views Hong Kong), which is always discouraging.
Shanghainese is different because it's used only in Shanghai, but that's still around 14 million people, about the population of Illinois, and that's just in the city. It's also easier to learn as a lot of words sound very similar to Mandarin, as opposed to Cantonese that requires different voice contortions and sounds like a different language entirely. Most people in Shanghai, though, do speak Mandarin, so the practical application of it isn't as high, limited to being ridiculed by native Shanghai people for not speaking their language, which is a pretty daunting prospect actually from what I've heard.

Other New Year's resolutions: take a dance class!(おどる) Yay! Seems like something useful to have, when busting out the moves at a wedding or a party or something. I always envy the people who seem to have the dance moves down, as they often are admired and get the ringing "yeah!" endorsement from all those watching. I don't really have any of those except doing magic tricks (not exactly a quick or exciting talent) or trying to tell jokes. Or a cooking class! (料理する) I am really bad at cooking. 

One more resolution: buying a house? (不動産) Financially I'm approaching a time when it would seem feasible to buy a house (student loans paid off, have some savings, etc.) that I might want to invest in real estate. I AM a little worried, though, about the SoCal home prices (they've really risen in the last decade and worried about a peak) as well as the next financial crisis (there's one every 8 years or so, last one was in 2008....... when's the next one coming?) so I'd have to research pretty well to dive in.

Oh btw the next Powerball lottery (宝くじ) drawing is at 1.3 billion dollar jackpot....incredible to start the new year, but seems predictable and probably more likely in the future that these jackpots will only increase as the addition of more numbers to the red powerball (from 59 to 69) seems to increase the odds from 1 in 175 million to 1 in 292 million. One can dream. For me? I think I've already hit the lottery (living a comfortable life with healthy body, although actually recently I've had a minor cold, healthy parents, good job, and living in the safety of the United States). I only hope that the eventual winner(s) of the lottery use it for something good, like a worthy cause or something that benefits society, as that kind of fortuitous luck should motivate someone to spread the wealth, and there's already enough dichotomy between wealthy and poor in the world due to capitalism (I tend more communist when I think of wealth distribution).

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Conspiracy (陰謀)

The holiday season promises a lot of things: Christmas shopping, lights, eggnog, Dick Clark New Year's Eve celebrations, Top 10 countdowns of the year that just happened, New Year's resolutions, but above all: free time. Depending on what day of the week Christmas falls (which in turn decides when New Year's is), Dec. 20-22 always marks the start of the Christmas week, where all around America the holiday season takes hold. I worked Dec. 28-Dec. 31, but it didn't actually feel like "working," definitely in holiday mode like most everyone else. 

During this epic free time, I went to Texas and visited the site of one of the biggest conspiracies in American history: the assassination of JFK. A pretty inconspicuous building, the 6th floor of the Daley Building in downtown Dallas is now a museum where the corner where Lee Harvey Oswald supposedly fatally shot President Kennedy (we now there was another shooter in the grassy knoll on the street level) inspired plenty of theories, which go unsolved today. I love conspiracy. Conspiracy triggers all the emotions we dread but secretly love the most, the fear of the unknown mixed with the excitement of mystery. Conspiracy allows people to use their imagination to think up the most elaborate of plots when most mysteries probably aren't that complicated: Occam's Razor states that among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected. But the mystery is what keeps us guessing and is the most interesting, whereas if we were just told the truth we would accept it and move on to something more interesting (the conspiracy). Conspiracy in legal terms is also interesting because it requires 2 or more people to do something, which if one thinks about it is probably less likely most of the time than one person acting alone- you can't control perfectly what someone else will do, it's more secure to do something on one's own, etc. 

Another conspiracy that blew up over the weekend was that of "Making a Murderer," a 10-episode series on Netflix that exposed possibly conspiracy in the sheriff's department of Manitoc County, Wisconsin. Ordinary citizens like myself all fear the government or authoritative figures with more power than us will do something to deprive our rights, but it actually here to a man named Steven Avery- at least once but probably twice, if what the series portrays is to be believed. What's even more heartbreaking is that the conspiracy by the police department (which at this point, seems likely have happened given all the facts that the series presented) reached innocent people like Steven's nephew Brandon, a slow learner and possibly mentally challenged 16-year-old who was coerced into making a confession against his uncle Steven and implicated himself in the process. Ironically, conspiracy is a crime that authorities use to condemn criminals who act together in malicious ways, and is what the prosecution accused Steven and Brandon of doing in this case, but it's the authorities who conspired together to plant evidence and gather confessions together to further their own cause of nailing the crime on Steven, making their movements akin to legally sanctioned conspiracy. It is really a terrible instance of the criminal justice system allowing those with power (the police, the prosecutors, the special agents, the judges to some extent) to pin a murder on possibly innocent people (it's not clear whether Steven Avery is innocent, but he definitely seems more likely to be innocent than Anand Syed, who people are still 50-50 on a year after Serial) to further their own causes. I wonder what (my favorite storyteller of all time) David Simon, creator of the Wire would say, about sergeants being made majors and majors into colonels, or this case prosecutors being made star prosecutors and special agents boosting their own stats, and I haven't even mentioned the pure malice of planting evidence against a suspect to ensure a conviction. It's really sad that the criminal justice system can allow this sort of conspiracy to happen and justifies American citizens like myself to wonder if there are stronger, darker forces out there that are all out to get us. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Teeth (歯)

My teeth hurt. 

Japanese is interesting in the amount of idioms that involve body parts, including the head, the mouth, the nose, the shoulders, the heart......but also, surprisingly, teeth. 
Some listed here. 

1.) 歯が立たない- literally, can't chew or hard to chew: I'm no match for the Japanese language.

2.) 歯がゆい - Teeth are itchy- meaning to be impatient. One of my biggest flaws, and possibly a killer one for any future relationships I have. I value time a lot, but kind of obsessively so, so that I'll get impatient waiting in traffic, waiting in line, or any kind of waiting whatsoever.



I floss not nearly enough, I don't like going to the dentist, and my lower jaw hurts sometimes because I have a nervous habit of biting down on my teeth during sleep (my dentist says to alleviate stress created during the day. I've started wearing a mouthguard, but I find that I dream a lot about food if I do wear a mouthguard and find myself biting down on it more, it's almost like a bone for a dog. Dunno which one is really helping. I also have a pretty severe underbite, which is pretty unusual but caused by the structure of my jaw. Can't get it fixed without "major" surgery anymore and it doesn't really cause any problems except aesthetically, and when I smile I have to try to actively just my upper jaw out so that it matches the lower jaw. I don't have a great smile. 

親知らず (oyashirazu) - wisdom teeth. I've never had my wisdom teeth pulled out, and they're just sitting there on the side of my mouth, always a threat to cause a cold sore, never helping in the cause (as far as I can tell) of gnashing up food. Really useless. My dentist told me to have it removed earlier, but it's really not causing any damage right now, so I decided not to. Possibly a bad move? Could be a scam by dentists to create more work for themselves (lawyers do it all the time!), but if it does cause a problem, I'll probably have to get them removed. (In Japanese, wisdom teeth are literally translated as "not knowing your parents." Weird. 


Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 





Reconciliation (仲直り)




Reconciliation is a pretty important concept in any language, and the Japanese have a special word for it as well: 仲直り, (nakanaori), or literally "curing the relationship." 

It's never easy to reconcile with a friend, because consider the circumstances: 2 people meet, they realize they have a lot in common, they begin a friendship, and somewhere along the way something causes a rift: liking the same guy, an argument, money issues, not hanging out enough, taking the other one for granted, etc. Usually both parties feel that the other did something wrong. Before reconciling, one faces all sorts of obstacles: does the other person even want to reconcile, am I still upset about things that caused a breakup, why do I have to make the first move, whose fault is it really (sometimes it's no one's fault!), how much is this friendship worth to me, if I do offer a truth, will the other person totally reject it and make me feel dumb for doing it? All of these cross one's mind before actively trying to nakanaori. 


In 2015, I reconciled with 2 important people in my life, in different ways. I was very close to these 2 in different ways before something happened to split us apart, and it was very uncomfortable for a long time. A lot of confusion, a lot of regret about how it got to such an untenable situation in the first place, a little anger at the other person, but ultimately, the overwhelming wish that things would just go back to the way they were. It's important sometimes that the rift occurs for a friendship because it identifies certain problems in the relationship, or a misunderstanding, or something that's defective about the relationship. This flaw is sometimes insurmountable, which causes some friendships to dissolve. The Saion Uma (silver lining) to these rifts, though, is if you re-establish them, you realize that the relationship is stronger than the rift that happened, and in a classic "whatever kills you only makes you stronger" sort of way, even possibly strengthens the relationship. That's why Nakanaori is so important: the 2 options are to 1.) let a healthy relationship crumble and become nothing like it never happened, or 2.) re-establish an even stronger relationship that is even better than it was before the rift. 

I've been lucky enough that the people I associate with were open to the reconciliation, and when I made an effort on my end they also reciprocated. I think most people's situations are similar to mine: Friends naturally want to get along again, but just don't know when or how to do it. So next time I think the lesson is, if you're thinking about reconciling, go for it: it's worth it. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

What Qualifies as a Christmas movie?

Having just passed Christmas, I saw one of the most important debate topics that faces mankind in the modern age, surprisingly on Facebook for a question of such magnitude: "Does Die Hard qualify as a Christmas movie?"

I've seen Die Hard- good movie, got 92% on Tomatoes, relate-able hero, I've actually worked at Fox Tower (Nakamura Tower in the movie), so lot of good vibes. It's an action movie, no doubt. It also happens to take place on Christmas Eve, for which some have argued it's a Christmas movie. However, the movie works without the fact that it's Christmas, at no point does John McCain the narrator embrace the fact that it is Christmas. Although the terrorists do use the fact that it's Christmas Eve to initiate their plan thus making the date a significant plot point, Christmas is not an essential theme to the story no contribute to the heart of the narrative, that of John McCain kicking ass and saving hostages.

What does constitute a Christmas movie? Obvious ones include Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Carol (along with Scrooged, of the same story), How the Grinch stole Christmas, A Christmas Story (played on a loop on FX every year during Christmastime), and my personal favorite, Elf. All of these stories incorporate themes of Christmas and Santa and embrace the spirit of Christmas, whether it's a lost elf looking for his father leading choruses of Christmas cheer in New York City, whether it's a creature who hates Christmas only to find that he loves it, and so on. All of these stories would be lost if they did not happen during Christmas.

Conclusion: A Christmas movie must encompass a Christmas theme or incorporate the values or spirit of Christmas into one of its themes, not just use Christmas as  a plot device. Supporting evidence could be the use of sequels (as in Home Alone- where Home Alone 2 also dealt with the theme of befriending those who are alone on Christmas, etc.) Die Hard is therefore NOT a Christmas movie. (Its sequels all occur on different dates, indicating that Christmas was not an important date).

Unfortunately, Google completely debunks my point by listing "Die Hard" among the movies that pop up in Search Results when searching "Top Christmas movies of all time," so what do I know. Merry Christmas!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan