Friday Night fantasy- come early

Ok, so it's Thursday, but about halfway through the NBA season, wanna let you know which guys are hot, which guys are not, and which guys are gonna be like me, the Sauce, and make 2010 THEIR year.

Btw, stock market lost a whopping 213 points today.....it seems scary, but it's ok if you got stocks like Coca-cola, Proctor and Gamble. If you've got banks/ financials, watch out. I got burned with JP Morgan Chase today, and icing it doesn't help. Ouch, President Obama, you're hurting me!

1. Chris Kaman. Here's how I feel about the Caveman.......Get out of the cave before the Boogiemen come to get you. Do not pass go, Do not collect $2oo. The Caveman has missed as many games as he's played the last 2 seasons, and you really shouldn't like his numbers that much anyway. 20.4 points? Unsustainable based on career avg. 1.4 blks? Not that many for a 7-footer. 3.0 TO's? I thought only PG's did that. 1.9 Assists? Paltry.
Guys I'd rather have: Al Horford, Al Jefferson.

2. Add Lamar Odom to guys I'd rather have. Like in real life, the Candyman dishes out some sweet stuff for fantasy owners, contributing in all cats with the added bonus of historically prolific second halves. Also, the combo of Bynum and Gasol is like Murphy's law: something's bound to go wrong.

OK, so I was wrong on Brook Lopez. My bad.
My Dwayne Wade-for-Kevin Durant trade didn't work so well.

3. Zach Randolph: No go on Z-Bo. Too wide of a load, not enough production for the dough.

4. Channing Frye: Like stating the obvious, easily pull the trigger on this guy. But it's an important lesson: guys who look real good now can become schmucks REAL fast (like not-playing-with-steve-nash-anymore-so-don't-get-wide-open-looks-at-three-all-day FAST).

Channing Frye rule applies to:
Danilo Gallinari, Corey Maggette (with the added ingredient of Don Nelson Sauce), Stephen Curry (with some rookie-wall-itis setting in), and O.J. Mayo....see my constant rants against owning O.J.

5. Deron Williams: Illinois homer endorsement right here. But I mean, legit skills, legit team, no injury, legit value.....It's like deciding to live in LA rather than Cleveland, Ohio (no reference to you, Lebron).

6. Antawn Jamison: In the o-so-articulate words of Angelina from Jersey Shore: "Um, HELLO!"

7. Chauncey Billups: Probably my man-crush talking, but he's the Triple-H of the NBA: Cerebral Assassin, most intellectual player in the NBA. Also like Triple-H, seemingly getting better with age, and reuniting with old friends to make one last championship run.

8. Josh Smith: One guy that you should own just so you can enjoy games: this guy keeps you at the edge of your seat, with beer in hand. Like watching Animal Planet when the lion leaps out at the does, that's watching Josh Smith lingering in the paint and then pinning someone's shot to the backboard. It's orgasmic, is what it is, everytime he does it. Ahem. Anyway...

9. LaMarcus Aldridge: The PB&J of Fantasy Basketball: You know what you're gonna get, but it's still pretty good. No surprises. (Unlike this show on Lifetime, The Pregnancy Pact about teenage girls vowing to get pregnant together......SHOCKING).

10. Guy outside Top 80 who could make a solid run rest of season: Andrew Bogut. Going out on a limb, but this guy's Big Man numbers are sick, and the Aussie's only 25 years old.

If I get 6 out of 10 calls right, that's good. We'll review this at end of season.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Flash Flood in LA

Title of the post has a double meaning representing the status of the weather conditions in LA as I write this, but also things that don't happen very often.....and it's the theme of this post.

1. Ridiculously flukey interception by Darrell Revis in the Jets-Chargers game yesterday that bounced in and out of VJax's hands, onto his backside, deflected off his leg, landed on someone's body, and finally into Revis's hands. Basically, everywhere but the ground. Turning point in a close game leading to my new favorite team's demise.

2. Global economic financial meltdown: Wasn't w/in the realm of possibilities before 2008. Why, o why did it have to happen right before recruiting season for my first professional job?

3. Me getting high grades in law school: I am what you call exactly the average law student. No matter how hard I study, no matter what new and innovative method I employ, I always get grades that are right around the median of my class, hence resulting in my fairly median GPA which in normal years would be sufficent to obtain a 2L summer associateship but in this legal economy, nada so far. I believe the phenomenon has to do with inherent legal abilities: It's like an academic ceiling that I can't just break through, I just don't have a superior legal mind like some of my classmates do. On the plus side, I work hard enough to avoid the lowest grades in the class, hence my position as it is now.

4. Nate Robinson having a sick game. This season Nasty Nate has been in the doghouse after shooting at the wrong basket and demanding a trade from the Knicks and ultimately landing on the bench, but in honor of MLK Day Nate getting fired up v. Pistons, with 27 points and 5 trey's so far. Niiiiice.

5. Weird line by Mike Miller today: 4-4 in FG, 4-4 in FT, 4 rebounds, 4 assists, and 4 turnovers. Translated by Chinese, that's death, death, death, death, death, death........

6. Snow, if you live in Southern California: Which explains why a lot of natives (from LA and SD) head over to Mammoth or Big Bear this time of year. My friends and I went to the former for some skiing this weekend and I was able to get some insight as to why my awkward skiing technique usually results in my face landing in a pile of snow.

7. four-hour season premiere over the course of 2 days: That's what 24 is doing, living up to its reputation of starting seasons off with a BANG!

8. All the stocks in your portfolio taking a dive: Well, actually, you probably saw a lot of that in the aforementioned 2008 financial crisis, but recently it hadn't happened until Friday, when I checked the tickers and there was not a green arrow to be found.....Not only was the DOW down, but EVERY security out there took some cuts. Look for a big rebound on Tuesday when investors look for discounts and put some more money back into a surging bull market.

9. A consumer products company admitting that their stuff was bad but that "Now it's really, really improved!" IMO this is a very risky move by Domino's, because as the common consumer I'm thinking, OK so they screwed up before, why should I try the new version just because they say it's good? Lemme wait until my friend tries it and tells me it's good instead of just goin' in there blind. It could be a big payoff if it works, but there's a reason you don't see those kind of ads that often: Too much risk for the return.

10. a 26-point, 26-rebound effort by Al Jefferson last Wednesday: Despite the blowup, he only had 1 block and didn't shoot that well, so it's still a mirage. We're just not seeing big stat lines from the big man that much this season, and my guess is there's an injury reason involved. Whatever it is, it's too late in the season to think it'll turn around, so trade him and massively sell his 26-rebound mirage.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Random Thoughts 2010

Time for another random thought, stream-of-consciousness blog that gives you everything that's on the fantasy guru's mind.

1. I'm bringing back the nickname "Sauce." Everyone back in Champaign used to call me that, I kinda liked it. Plus, "The Situation" has inspired me.

2. I have a certain Latino friend who challenged me that I don't update this blog very often. I'm taking it personally and writing a lot just to spite him. The beneficiaries? You guys who are reading more and better content.

3. You ever play w/ a guy in a pickup basketball game who just hogs the basketball like it's his last meal? How would you handle that situation?
a. lay back, don't say anything
b. call for the ball too
c. talk to the guy, communicate your needs
d. come out swinging, making an example of the guy and give him a bruise for every bad shot he's taken.
Sometimes I wish I could d.) with no consequences.

4. My picks for this weekend's football games? Ravens, Chargers, Vikings, Saints. But again, I am HORRIBLE at picking against the spread and at most sports games, so if you really wanna bet you should go the opposite of what I say.

5. "Sundial" Gaines or whatever his name is just ripped through the Cleveland 2nd unit and turned a 2-point Cavs lead into a 20-point Utah blowout. Insane. Sign him to another 10-day contract; better make it 20 days this time.

6. Here's to those who lost loved ones in Haiti. I try to imagine how I'd feel if an earthquake hit the LA area and knocked out my family and am overwhelmed by what others must be feeling.

7. If you're reading this blog right now and haven't checked out this video, you really should:
http://www.sportspickle.com/article:559/packers-defense-shockingly-asleep-at-the-wheel.
Explains a lot.

8. Here's some stuff that is a "you" problem (you have to blame yourself):
a. If you try to go on the 10 East from 7:30AM to 9:00AM and curse because there's traffic, that's a "you" problem.
b. If you leave a gun at home with an unsupervised kid under age 10, that's a "you" problem.
c. If you drafted Gilbert Arenas this year thinking he was gonna be back to the old Gilbert, that's a "you problem."
d. If you always cancel on lunch plans with your friends and get stiffed by your friends when you plan for lunch, that's a "you" problem.
e. If you go to the casino expecting to win every time and get upset cuz you lose, that's a "you problem."
f. If you invest in 5 stocks and expect all the stocks to go up, that's a "you" problem.
g. If you go around public areas trying to skateboard w/o knowing how to skateboard, that's a "you" problem.
h. If you have a hissy fit about waiting in line for buying something but then when you get up there you don't have your wallet out or take your sweet time, that's a "you" problem.
i. If you take life too seriously, that's a "you" problem.
j. If you start lifting weights after years of inactivity and select something too heavy and get sore, that's a "you" problem.

9. Cooking is so time-consuming. I think my personality just doesn't agree with it. I'm all about taking 3-minute showers, 10-minute power naps, and 20-minute lunches, tops. I think given that we eat 3 meals a day, taking more than an hour for the total 3 meals cuts too much into your day.

10. Randy Foye could really be the pickup of the year w/ Gilbert out for the season. Time for the Flower Foye to blossom, albeit a little late in the season.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Why we love Jersey Shore

Part of a phenomenon that's rapidly spreading across the United States, folks at USC Law have contracted Jersey Shore fever: Everywhere I go, people are fist-pumpin', rockin' the GTL, and exalting the merits of the TV show that's personified the phrase "so good it's bad." It seems like a paradox: MTV reality TV show that's set in a place commonly known as "the armpit of America." Shouldn't be good at all, actually should bomb. But here's why we love it:

1. Living vicariously: Deep down, I believe there's a Guido/Guidette inside all of us. At some level, like living one day in the life of a Guido, or taking part in "Guido" activities, we want to escape the lives that we have now and go through the whole routine: work out in the morning, do laundry, go to the tanning salon and chill out, get a haircut, put on a fresh shirt right before going out, and then partying the night away with "la familia." Doesn't sound too bad of a lifestyle.

2. Appeals to the young crowd: This show HAS to be absolutely killin the 18-24 viewing market and probably the 24-30 too. Put a group of twenty-somethings together for the summer, allow them to have alcohol, and all bets are off. The energy and vivaciousness of the characters on the show carry it despite what the content.

3. The situation: MTV's situation is so vastly enhanced by the presence of the situation. I'm talking about Mike Sorrentino, or more precisely, Mike Sorrentino's abs, who have gained cult-like popularity and made appearances on all the daily talk shows like Jay Leno, The Jimmy Kimmel Show, and even ESPN's SportsNation. We all get attracted by catchy stuff, and "The Situation" is one of the catchiest characters in all of television. He's like a WWE Wrestler crossed with Tony Soprano. Great television.

4. Snookie: It seems like a tough argument to make that a TV show is carried predominantly by just 2 characters, but it's amazing the amount of influence both Snookie and the Situation have had on the show. Snookie's constantly amazing quotes, antics, backflips, and perky attitude are all balanced out by her loyalty to her family (the fellow houseguests in the house) and we are absolutely drawn to that devotion. The episode where she got punched was the direct cause of me tuning into the show; it was a turning point of the summer for the Jersey Shore housemates and was the turning point of the whole series: from low roar in the TV ratings game to a rippling tsunanmi. With one punch to the face, Snookie got in return the label of nationwide celebrity and more than just 15 seconds of fame. (More like 15 minutes or 15 hours).

5. The lifestyle: Kinda alluded to before, but the attitudes and lifestyles of the Jersey Shore housemates are SO divergent to ours that we can't bear not to watch, we want to know how these other creatures of the world are living their lives and what divergent opinions they have, everything from "He knows not to mess with my sister or else he'd end up in my trunk" to "I will bite a guy's head off like a praying mantis" to Gym, Tan Laundry is so perverse to us, so different. We don't take it seriously, but it's very serious that this is the life the Jersey Shorers are leading, and it's awesome.

Can't wait to catch the next episode of Jersey Shore tonight. If you haven't checked it out, that's not a situation you want to be in that you're missing out on the Situation.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Dealbreaker!

Taking a page from Liz Lemon on 30 Rock, sometimes there's things that Reality TV contestants do that sabotage their chances of winning the show... a.k.a a "dealbreaker." Here's looking at some of the biggest moves in reality TV history (and maybe some other ones thrown in there as well).

1. Marcellus played a good game on Big Brother 3 and formed some good alliances w/ Danielle, Jason, and Amy, but he inexplicably decided NOT to use the power of veto on himself and was promptly voted out of the game.....that's a dealbreaker, folks.

2. Ozzie was rolling on Survivor: Fans v. Favorites and had a dominant majority alliance after the merge with lots of individual immunity rolling his way ADDING to the hidden individual immunity idol he already had, but his lack of strategic gameplay (and at that point, a bit of cockiness) again bit him in the butt as he failed to anticipate eventual winner and onetime ally Parvati's blindside to get him out.......DEALBREAKER.

3. There were questions about John McCain's age, John McCain's ability to lead, John McCain's policies, but when he selected Alaskan governor Sarah Palin as his VP candidate, his judgment came into question and that was a.... DEALBREAKER.

4. Dick and Danielle were the final 2 of Big Brother 8, but not only was Dick saved by America in Week 2 and Week 5, the duo ALSO avoided eviction because the producers told Eric he couldn't use the Power of Veto in Week 7 to take Amber or Zach off the block and backdoor one of the Donatos.....DEALBREAKER on the legitimacy of Dick's win.

5. Flight Time and Big Easy were fun, energetic, entertaining, and easy to root for on their way to the Final Four of Amazing Race 15 even as they botched some easy challenges and avoided Philimination because someone was too scared to go down a water slide, but the real kicker was when Big Easy couldn't spell F-R-A-N-Z after getting spotted the F, instead opting to take a 4-hour penalty that effictively ended their race...that's a Dealbreaker.

6. Jersey Shore: Ronnie seems like a cool dude, gets along with people in the house, and genuinely means well despite calling his in-house girlfriend a "big-toed Flinstone" and dunking Snookie into the lake aganst her will, but some real damage occured when he confronted a guy on the Jersey Shore and punched him into the next county...that's a Dealbreaker.

7. Paula Abdul brought life to American Idol every season as she gave the contestants hope right before Simon ripped them to shreds, although she was criticized for cliche comments like "America Loves You!" or "it wasn't your best performance," and also cited for some legal trouble, she literally said "No deal" to FOX and what was a money-driven decision to leave the show......Literally a Dealbreaker.

8. Rimm having problems with their service, Apple coming out with new and better products, and its stock price hovering around $65 w/o an uptick from the post-March 2009 rallies.....Now saying Verizon, RIMM's biggest customer, doing business w/ AAPL.....That's a dealbreaker, folks, cut ties w/ the stock if you can.

9. So many other Big Brother follies, but Jessie epitomizes them on both BB10 and 11 back-to-back: Alienating other houseguests early in 10, sleeping way too much and not getting a good gauge of the house, being way too blunt in a game where people target you for comments made, winning HoH too early and not leveraging deals afterwards, but the biggest mistake (after having a whole year to learn after BB10) in BB11 was not throwing the Week 3 HoH competition to Jeff when Jeff couldn't put him up.....THAT was a dealbreaker.

10. Chuck Season 1 suprisingly good and winning "the couple you were most rooting for" with Chuck and Sarah, Chuck Season 2 seeing the return of Chuck's father as well as some good plot twists, now Chuck Season 3 back w/ some name stars (like Stone Cold Steve Austin) and Chuck w/ super-spy skills.....THAT's a dealbreaker, folks. Watch the 2-hour season premiere tonight.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Diversification

Diverse, Diversity, Diversification: Nowadays, you hear these terms being bandied about in the media, by your neighbor, by hiring committees, by your parents. And these terms are important. Diversification is crucial in picking stocks to protect your initial investment and avoid gigantic losses, diversity is important in college and in an organization to provide a broad range of perspectives, and a diverse diet helps you get all the nutrients to live healthily. (Btw, speaking of stocks, today was A VERY GOOD day for the Yan portfolio, we're talking like 5% gains today.

However, how to make your EVERYDAY lifestyle diverse? Well, you gotta do a lot of different activities and plan it out well. It's like my friend Michael Notton (brilliant guy at Illinois) once told me, you gotta freshen things up to keep from feeling like a rat running in a maze.

So let's play a different version of (Jim Cramer does this on Mad Money) ARE YOU DIVERSIFIED?

1. If your day consists of going to work, eating a healthy breakfast, and watching TV, you're NOT diversified. Where's the exercise?

2. If your day consists of going to school, working out, catching up on news, AND doing all your homework, you're NOT diversified. Where's the social element of talking to people?

Things you should consider doing to diversify your days:

1. Volunteer: don't mean to be one to preach philanthropy cuz I don't do it that often, but it definitely is a huge mix-up to stop doing stuff for yourself once in a while.

2. Listen to the radio: yea, you know that dial for AM radio? Turn it a few times and see what's on. There can be more than just Rihanna and Kanye blasting in your car.

3. Go OUTSIDE... a lot of people have office jobs and it's understandable, but going to the park and just seeing a dog run after a squirrel can be refreshing. Seriously, it's called new stimuli.

4. Read a new magazine... just checked out IN FOCUS...not bad.

2009 Midseason Hoops Awards (a.k.a. the Hoopies)

So the NBA regular season almost halfway done, and some Hoopie awards need to be handed out for some worthy performances, with the award names ripped straight out of the 2009 news headlines:

1. Tiger Woods Award (for biggest fall from grace):
Caron Bulter. There have been some other disappointments in the first 20 draft picks, but Butler's been the only one who's been healthy. Coming in, it looked like he could build on a solid resume of good STL's, pts, rebounds, and assists with great FT%, but the numbers are down across the board with the parasitic Gilbert Arenas hogging the ball all the time.

2. Balloon Boy Award (for being full of hot air):
Gilbert Arenas. Speak of the devil, Gilbert was all about talkin' big comin' into the season, about how the Wiz would make a playoff run and GA would lead his team back to the glory days, but what little I've seen of Gilbert has seen a 12 TO game, him missing crucial FT's down the stretch, and getting stripped by rookie Tyreke Evans in the final seconds in a loss to the Kings. Fitting that his 3rd-round draft status has only lived up to 8th-round value.

3. Ben Bernanke Award (Time's Fantasy Basketball Man of the Year): Still Gotta be LBJ. Like Bernanke's ability to save the economy with a single interest rate cut, the King can save your fantasy team from getting demolished with one single game of dominance, something to the tune of 48 pts, 9 rebs, 10 asts, 3 stl's, 2 3's, 1 blk. Man can do everything, and this season he's done it while shooting 50%. Wow.

4. The Joe Biden Award (for having the best position in the world): Many say the vice president is the best job because he gets none of the pressures of being president while still having "president" in his name. That distincition in fantasy belongs to Channing Frye, who averages 12.6 pts a game and 2.1 treys a game because he receives passes from no other than Steve Nash. 'Nuff said.

5. The Healthcare Bill Award (for the most hated AND most loved player): Like the healthcare bill stirring up raw emotion in different ways depending on which side of the aisle in which you sit, I have never seen such controversy about a fantasy player than what Dwight Howard does: You can LOVE, LOVE, LOVE his 2.5 Blks, 13.3 Rebs, and 60%+ FG, but he poisons you just as much with the 60% FT% and 3.3 TO's. What to do? Unlike the healthcare bill, though, most of us can afford to ignore Dwight altogether and "go a different direction."

6. The Sarah Palin Award (for Big Time News in 2008, still relevant in 2009): The meteoric rise of Kevin "Tarantula" Durant was well documented in fantasy circles as well as here, but Kevin's still putting up huge numbers this year, just much more expectedly so, and the next 10 years really bodes well for him, and really, for the Alaskan Sensation as well.

7. The Twilight/ New Moon Award (for catering to a younger audience): Barely out of his teens (turned 20 in September), Tyreke Evans has caught fire in the NBA in his first season. Like a blood-sucking vampire with superpowers, he's behaving like a cold-blooded beast who doesn't sleep and roams free during the night in Sacramento.

8. The Sonia Sotomayor Award (for the wisest Latino): Brook Lopez, whose father was from Cuba, has been one of the few bright spots on the Nets and defied the Guru's expectations of him (thought he would do bad). Especially like the Yao-like 83% FT percentage from a big man.

9. The Kanye West Award (for "Imma let you finish") I'm not sure where Z-Bo Zach Randolph's gonna end up, but he sure has been intriguing. Ranked #18 in Y!, his numbers don't seem all that impressive (probably why Kanye interrupted Taylor to draw attention to the more impressive Beyonce), but Memphis is doing wonders for Randolph as his FG% is at an all-time high. Will this continue? I say no, Z-Bo's got a lot of brick-laying left in him, but that's why Imma let him finish.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan