Monday, September 2, 2024

Constitution (宪法, 憲法, 헌법)

 There are 2 definitions of constitution, one is a set of laws that governs a country, like "The Constitution" in the U.S. that gives the general framework of our laws, but which has come under fire recently for having been written by white slaveholders in the late-1700s with sexist and racist ideas throughout the document. Fair point, but it's also set forth the government of the most successful country in the world today, if not in human history (arguable, hard to compare obviously). The actual Constitution is actually not where I thought it was: the Library of Congress, which I would have seen since I just listed last Christmas; no it's in the National Archives, where it was transferred from the Library of Congress its original home before Nicholas Cage and team set out to steal it in the National Treasure franchise (jk). There are 27 amendments to it, the first 10 being the most important, but also the 13th abolishing slavery, 15th giving black people the right to vote, 19th giving women the right to vote, etc. I'm learning most of this through "The Year of Living Constitutionally," another brilliant non-fiction book by AJ Jacobs who once endeavored to do a personal goal of mine, read all the way from A-Z of the World Book Encyclopedia. 


The second, less common definition of constitution is how one's body is, so if you have a good constitution you don't get sick much. I do have a good constitution in that sense, but I do NOT have a good one when it comes to getting angry. I have anger management issues, as I believe I've expressed here more. I very, very rarely get upset at strangers/ outside company (one exception being today, actually) but unfortunately am prone to "lose it" with the people closest to me. Today's exception was when my parents and I went to a beach in Ventura County (ironically called Hollywood Beach) and as soon as I got out of the car (I had admittedly been feeling motion sick in the car sitting in the back seat while my Dad drives in his herky-jerky brake for no reason sort of way) and just gotten on to a narrow sidewalk (maybe fitting the width of 2 people) when a man from behind me said "excuse me." I turned around and the guy is on his bike passing me, which is OK I guess even though you're on a sidewalk for pedestrians, but then he says, "you gotta watch out." I guess I got triggered by his remark, as I had the right of way, and also 2 days ago a totally unrelated incident in Century City got super upset I was in the left lane even though I had to make a left turn soon, and he stuck his middle finger at me as he passed by while honking. Maybe still holding a grudge over that incident, I decided to speak out about it to this biker who gave me a lecture about watching out even though 1.) He was on a bike on a sidewalk, and 2.) he did not call out "on your left" or make any efort to let me know he was behind me until he had passed me. I yelled out. He stopped his bike and confronted me. Outside of pickup basketball where things get a little chippy and physical sometimes understandably, this was the closest I've ever gotten into a physical confrontation. My mind went numb, and I snapped back at this biker, although I don't think I yelled. Many times I just bite my tongue and let it know, but sometimes after those incidents I feel humiliated that I was so weak and probably let my race of Asians down making our whole race look weak, so I had to say something, and I stuck to the argument: "I have the right to use the sidewalk as the pedestrian." The argument continued, and the thing is arguing with someone who had the audacity to do something like that in the first place, they're not going to be reasonable or suddently change their mind, it's just going to escalate cuz they're that type of person, so eventually I just kept walking without saying anything, and he got a last few shots in but just left. There were plenty of witnesses around on a public beach during Labor Day weekend, but it definitely could have gotten physical or threatening to do so; I think I was right to stand my ground and assert my rights though. Sometimes you just can't let everything go. 
Now, anger problems with my close family members.... that's something different, and triggered by a whole host of other issues, that I'll address in a separate post, but it's safe to say I've always had anger issues as a kid, my parents never provided the proper way to deal with it (my dad in particular perpetuated it by the way he got upset at me if something went wrong) and I've habored some trauma from that, coupled with my own issues of repressing my anger until it boils over and I lose control. 

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