Eat Your Veggies!

 Americans have a hard time eating their veggies, I get it. Meat, desserts, pasta, and a whole bunch of other things taste better than veggies, and a salad tastes like "a rabbit crapped in my mouth." I used to be in the same camp, but now the first thing I worry about in every meal is how I get a whole lot of veggies, preferably some sort of salad with a tasty dressing, or sandwiches with a lot of sprout, lettuce, herbs, greens, carrots, legumes, peas, you name it on there. It's not that I feel superior to others due to my new eating habits, but I do cringe when a Facebook friend posts on New Year's Day: "This year I'm eating healthy with more veggies! Moving up from the small V8 juice to the Big boy can today!" Is V8 really this man's idea of getting more green in his diet? Here's an idea: how bout to get more veggies, eating an actual vegetable? MJ encounters the same frustrations at the hospital towards the general American populace: patients will be literally in the hospital due to poor diet and nutrition leading to being put on a doctor-mandated restricted low-sodium diet, but they'll be ordering the new "Ghost Pepper" chicken from Popeye's, then when MJ refuses and suggests food from the hospital's more "toned-down" menu, they'll try to bargain for Chipotle and McDonald's, not exactly the most veggie-abundant restaurants, although you can at least build a decent amount of tomatoes/lettuce/fajitas at a Chipotle (although my local Chipotle seems to be perpetually out of fajitas, probably reflecting the dietary choices of the patrons who frequent there). That or Chipotle and its stock price is trending downhill. You now that genius idea I had in 2011 of "BUY Amazon stock! BUY Chipotle stock!" which I harped on all the time? That didn't work out so well in 2022......I really didn't think one of the biggest companies in the world Amazon could have its stock cut by MORE THAN HALF (from 3650 or so peak to what's effectively 1650 or so after its stock split). The Chinese have a saying called "splitting blood," or suffering some sort of great loss, and that Amazon cut fits the bill. 

The French have a saying called espirit de l'escalier, or "wit of a staircase," where someone thinks of a funny or witty response AFTER the opportunity has passed. Happens all the time to me, probably because I often play back conversations I have with people and analyze what I could have said to spice up the conversation, clever points to have added to get a laugh. I lament the shots I didn't take but should have, but then that makes me force some shots that I shouldn't have taken but did take, followed by stunned and awkward silence on a text thread or zoom call that is uncomfortable for everyone involved, including myself. Only thing missing is a slow clap. What's the opposite of wit of a staircase, getting a funny response BEFORE the opportunity even comes? Just having a repository of funny responses in my mind packed up ready to use before the situation even arises. That's probably the sign of a great comedian.....or a psychopath. (And also, not a bad strategy for Jeopardy to think of possible answers based on the category before the clues even come up, like thinking of words beginning in Q if they give you that category already).