I'm a pretty greedy person, but maybe that's not a bad thing.
I am very greedy about certain facets of life. Money, for example, my mom says I take after my dad: always counting my money like it's monopoly money or poker chips, feeling good when the pile of cash grows but empty when it starts to become depleted. I admit to this: I check my bank accounts semi-daily and my stocks multiple times a day to see if I gained or lost, even getting excited just by seeing the green sign next to the stock showing gains and depressed if I see red. It's a natural instinct of human beings: if I have something that I like, I want more of it. The Japanese have an expression for this: 欲に目がくらむ, when means rough, "to be blinded by greed." I guess I've been so blinded by greed that I haven't ever characterized myself as greedy, but I guess I am.
I am terribly greedy about sleep: I want as much as of it as I can, and will fight off anyone or anything that is getting in the way of it, even if that person was myself, several hours ago setting an alarm to go off at a certain time that I regret as soon as I get awoken by that alarm. Is it actually good to be greedy about sleep? I think so, if you're not getting enough of it and your body is thirsty for more.........I tend to listen to my body, but there's definitely times when I've gotten 10 or more hours of sleep and STILL wanted more or to take a nap mid-day (oh hey there, college-years Robert!), and that's driven by greed of wanting sleep, which you don't need. A huge distinction between needing and wanting, which is the barrier holding greed back.
I am greedy about how I spend my time: I want to multitask and fit everything into my schedule, when it can't really be done. Just today I tried to get my Mom to pick me up from work in downtown LA, but then also wanted to get a run and a little bit of dodgeball in, so I asked her to pick me up 10 miles away near University Citywalk……….even though it's Friday night and there's a ton of traffic.
On a related note, I'm greedy about how many tasks I can handle at one time: Now with smartphones and instant messages and high speed wifi and unlimited data plans for everyone's phone, we try to do so many things at once and always have at least 2 things going on at once, whether it's eating and checking our phone, driving and calling someone on our phone, or just walking and listening to something on our phone (most of the multi-tasking has to do with one's phone). In that way, technology has made us greedy and crave more stimulus and information, which can make us less greedy for knowledge and real pursuits...…
I'm greedy about food too...…...although I've been able to suppress some desires since I've becom an adult, and food is no longer a huge source of greed, although I do eat too much from time to time, especially at all-you-can-eat buffets (stay away from Korean BBQ's and Chinese buffets if you're like me).
I'm greedy about dodgeball: I say to myself I'll for an hour, but then when the hour comes I haven't gotten my fill yet or am still "in the zone" and just need a little more time, the adrenaline is pumping....
MJ is really greedy about TV shows, especially Korean TV shows that she knows have cliffhanger endings all the time that keep people watching but she gets hooked in anyway...that's why I've suggested movies most of the time when we watch together but I can only hold back the greed for so long.
I think what most "greeds" (I group them together like they're evil minions or 7 dwarves, or 7 sins) have in common is that once I get something that I wanted, I'm not satisfied by it anymore, that thing I just wanted 5 seconds ago is now attained and no longer desirable, and now I want something else. That could be like a piece of chocolate, where I just had the Reese's Cup and indulged myself, but now I want that chocolate cake over there, but more insidious is this greed we have to the next new thing we want to think about. Like during the workday there are so many times I'm thinking about "where do I need to go tonight. Oh Santa Monica. How long has Santa Monica been around anyway? What's the weather like in Santa Monica like today? Oh Ok, well now that I know that, I need to know this other thing." It becomes this neverending cycle of needing the next thing that I want and my brain's in overdrive trying to satisfy all these wants, that I really didn't even need in the first place. That's the worst kind of greed I have right now, and it's the one that most people are getting because of how our culture is and our technology is now.
What I NEED to be more greedy about is getting knowledge and discovering meanings of life. MJ is currently reading one of the most famous books of American literary history, "Man's Search for Meaning" with great quotes like "our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude." So profound, yet so simple. I like when I'm greedy about reading newspapers, reading thoughts by great humans, being curious about an issue and pursuing it. Those bouts of greed and inspiration, don't come that often and are often overwhelmed by wanting of something else.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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