I love Chinese idioms; just when I think I'm getting tired of them, I get reminded of one with an interesting story, like this: "one mountain doesn't allow for two tigers." So true of many organizations, teams, families, Facebook message boards, etc. Tigers are viewed as symbols of strength and power in Chinese, and the idiom reflects that 2 of these strong leaders can't co-exist; they will battle each other tooth and nail until one is eliminated somehow, whether by retreating voluntarily or being forced (whether through death, injury, whatever) involuntarily to give up.
My dynamic with my Mom often can be compared to a "2 tigers" sort of situation: she has her own way of running the family as the boss, and I sometimes challenge that notion, which gets us into plenty of arguments. At the end of the day it's her house, she's the elder, and she's my mom after all, so it's certainly natural that I give in as the younger and lesser "tiger" in the situation. I honestly don't think I'm trying to be a second tiger, but she has a weird notion that we're battling to be the "most successful" in the family with her career as a research scientist and my career as a lawyer, that somehow I get jealous of her success, when in reality I root for her all the time to do the best she can in her career because I benefit from it, and her work as a scientist trying to produce drug-related solutions for various ailments in health is much more productive on a societal level than my work as advocating for clients to right perceived wrongs and clogging up the court system with more cases.
When MJ and I fight (rarely, but hopefully more rarely in the future! A wish for 2020 and beyond) it often stems from a culture clash between her Korean heritage and my Chinese-American heritage. Those are 2 very big Asian tigers dueling in their philosophies, from my loudness representing what she dislikes about Chinese tourists who talk very loudly in other countries to my displeasure of her fondness for cleanliness derived from her Korean background. (I've learned about so many cleaning techniques and tools after meeting MJ! One is using lint everywhere on couches, beds, carpets, and anywhere I may have dropped "dead skin" particles or loose hairs, we've recently considered carrying a roll of lint with us along with our keys and wallets. But one thing I LOVE about Korean culture is their style of serving food: it always comes with side dishes, or ban chan. It's just a nice touch for the waiter to bring bean sprouts, kimchi, radishes, sesame rice, and whatever else before the main dish even arrives. Makes me actually want to give a tip and want to go to a sit-down restaurant that requires me to tip! Often I go to a restaurant and wonder if the wait staff has justified their 18% minimum tip (standard in LA now is at least 18% now, crazy!). Korean food is often also pretty healthy, unless you're going for a home run with all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ, but even then at least the side dishes have some sort of vegetables. So Korean restaurants, you've earned the Robert Yan "Fichelin" star!
I think in human relationships where there are 2 tigers, there might be a different solution than 1 tiger finding a different mountain or the 2 tigers battling it out to the death: perhaps 1 of the tigers just needs to be less of a tiger, maybe a domesticated cat, or lose a claw and sue for peace, call an armistice, instead of pounding one's chest and needing to be the dominant voice of authority on the mountain, especially when the tigers have similar goals and hopes and dreams (and plenty of enemies on other mountains to deal with!)
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, December 29, 2019
Saturday, December 28, 2019
Year End (年终, 年末, 연말)
We've reached the end of 2019, and along with the expected holiday activities (I try not to say Christmas now because certain religious groups get offended if you say "Have a nice Christmas," just like "supremacy" is not a fancied word even in scientific names like "quantum supremacy." Gotta be politically correct to the extreme nowadays) comes a transformation in Los Angeles from a working metropolis city to a bustling tourist destination. MJ asked me today whether I think LA has more people during the winter holidays than normal or less people, considering that many people might have gone to their original home for the holidays....but my guess has to be more because of the foreign tourists flocking like migratory birds to a warm destination.....LA definitely fits the bill, although at night it's gotten cold enough to see your own breath.
On one hand, the daily commute times are reduced due to less people going to work and school, but on the other hand attractions in LA become traps; don't even think about going to Hollywood Studios, Griffith Observatory, Disneyland, Santa Monica Pier without having to wait and/or encounter more people than you were hoping for. I thought New York was difficult to navigate this summer; at least they're usually equipped already for dense populations, LA normally is spread out enough and has enough going on that people are disbursed rather evenly through different areas of town like downtown, Malibu, the beaches, etc., but once the tourists show up and all their guidebooks have the same Top 5 things to do in LA telling them what to do, those top 5 places can't handle all those cars coming through their entrances, all the traffic getting out at the same highway exit. It's a nightmare, or as some would call it, a sh*tshow.
Speaking of "all the space" LA has, that's one of the major themes of the movie "Marriage Story" that MJ and I watched on Christmas Eve night.......not exactly a heartwarming tale for the whole family to gather around, in fact "Divorce Story" might have been a more spot-on title, but it certainly gave a very real depiction of divorce and how attorneys complicate matters and suck up a ton of money if you get bogged down (the couple getting divorced at first agrees not to involve lawyers and to have an amicable break-up, but predictably they disagree on this, hire aggressive attorneys and suddenly bills pile up quickly along with the angry tirades and personal attacks). People in the movie keep praising LA for "having so much space" to the dad character who prefers living in New York City and cringes each time he's told about the space, a very real sentiment I can relate to....that space can be just as much a detriment as it is a benefit.
MJ and I went to Getty Center (I've lost count of how many times I've been there, but I now appreciate it much more than just the nice views!) and it took almost an hour to drive into the parking lot area! Foreign tourists abounded, with Korean and Chinese being the top 2 languages we heard, more than maybe English. A wonderful Manet exhibit, part of the Getty's rotating program, was almost ruined by tourists trampling through, filling the meager hall to max capacity and making it difficult for me to guide MJ around in a wheelchair. I wondered what the comic Ali Wong would do in the situation, and I imagined silently farting in front of the most popular Manet work there (Le Printemps, depicting a girl wearing a bonnet and carrying an umbrella) where there was a mass of tourists and see if people eventually gave in to the remnants of my mom's famous mapo tofu recipe. One by one I could see those tourists dropping out to go to different paintings, not knowing where the foul smell was coming from, until only MJ and I were left to take a selfie, surrounded by a circle of protection of my own making. Maybe one way to fight off throngs of tourists.
Many fellow museumgoers were nice to open doors for us when the automatic door button wasn't functioning, but the sheer mass of people meant a few oblivious people cutting us despite our wheelchair. The sunset was colorful and dramatic today, enhanced by the mountains and ocean in the background, in fact MJ compared it to being air brushed, the way the light reflected off our faces when taking a picture, but it was slightly marred by all the people gathering on the west pavilions crowding around to get a video of the exact moment the sun disappeared below the horizon. Apparently that's a big thing. Super fun to wheel MJ down the hill from the top of the Getty instead of taking the tram, though, another unexpected benefit of having a temporarily disabled member of our party (but hopefully she will recover soon so we don't need to take advantage anymore!) And apparently California has a rule for out-of-state disabled parking placard holders to get a temporary 90-day disability pass. Out of all the states only California has this; all other states accept ones from other states. Go figure.
Many fellow museumgoers were nice to open doors for us when the automatic door button wasn't functioning, but the sheer mass of people meant a few oblivious people cutting us despite our wheelchair. The sunset was colorful and dramatic today, enhanced by the mountains and ocean in the background, in fact MJ compared it to being air brushed, the way the light reflected off our faces when taking a picture, but it was slightly marred by all the people gathering on the west pavilions crowding around to get a video of the exact moment the sun disappeared below the horizon. Apparently that's a big thing. Super fun to wheel MJ down the hill from the top of the Getty instead of taking the tram, though, another unexpected benefit of having a temporarily disabled member of our party (but hopefully she will recover soon so we don't need to take advantage anymore!) And apparently California has a rule for out-of-state disabled parking placard holders to get a temporary 90-day disability pass. Out of all the states only California has this; all other states accept ones from other states. Go figure.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, December 22, 2019
Mystery Thrillers (神秘驚悚片, 미스터리, 謎)
In today's age of attention deficit and lack of commitment to any activities over an hour long, the surest way to get me to sit down and watch a movie is the tried-and-true mystery thriller, a genius genre of work that keeps me turning the page (if it's in book form) or prevents me from turning the channel (if it's TV/movie). Which is exactly what happened last night at a white elephant Christmas party I went to, where the festivities eventually turned to watching a recently released movie, "Knives Out," a critically acclaimed work. I was going to go home soon before the movie started, but was trapped after the first scene of the victim being found dead.......and just couldn't take my eyes off of the screen. I have to imagine that it is quite tedious and arduous to write a mystery thriller and having to write backwards, knowing what the ending is but then dropping enough clues for the audience to keep them intrigued and gradually progress the story without giving too much away for them to be able to guess the ending, while dropping major plot twists along the way. The best mystery novels appeal to our senses of being in suspense and the young detectives in all of us trying to solve a mystery with the little information that's given to us.....I found myself often going over the events in my head during the movie, something I don't usually do for romantic novels, family dramas, blockbuster hits, or almost any other movie where I just sit and sort of absorb. It also appeals to my love of magic shows, where the magician does something seemingly impossible (similar to locked-room murders or some other seemingly impossible way of killing someone) and keeping the audience guessing, except luckily in mystery thrillers you get the assurance of knowing you'll see how the magician did it at the end.
My progression of mystery thrillers has progressed steadily and always stayed with me throughout my life, starting with "Nate the Great" books as a kid, progressing to Nancy Drew and Encyclopedia Brown to getting into Agatha Christie novels in high school, as well as the board game "Clue" and the novels that the game was based on, with the iconic phrases like "Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with the Candlestick." There are even mystery societies that dedicate themselves to watching murder-mysteries and certain patterns like 1.) the victim often dies in the beginning and we learn about them through flashbacks, 2.) there's a quirky, eccentric famous detective who takes the case, 3.) there's a network of likely suspects who all have some sort of motive for the victim to die, 4.) red herrings that throw the audience off the scent to mask some other trivial clue that becomes very significant later. These typical elements were all satisfied in "Knives Out," but it didn't come off as contrived or unoriginal because the story was able to carve out its own characteristics and even thrown in elements of current society like "Instagram influencers" and the immigration backlash in the US. I guess I've missed these type of pure murder-mysteries as opposed to the hybrid horror/mystery or drama/mysteries that have other elements to their movie other than mystery, like "Parasite" or "The Minority Report."
Merry Christmas to all!
My progression of mystery thrillers has progressed steadily and always stayed with me throughout my life, starting with "Nate the Great" books as a kid, progressing to Nancy Drew and Encyclopedia Brown to getting into Agatha Christie novels in high school, as well as the board game "Clue" and the novels that the game was based on, with the iconic phrases like "Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with the Candlestick." There are even mystery societies that dedicate themselves to watching murder-mysteries and certain patterns like 1.) the victim often dies in the beginning and we learn about them through flashbacks, 2.) there's a quirky, eccentric famous detective who takes the case, 3.) there's a network of likely suspects who all have some sort of motive for the victim to die, 4.) red herrings that throw the audience off the scent to mask some other trivial clue that becomes very significant later. These typical elements were all satisfied in "Knives Out," but it didn't come off as contrived or unoriginal because the story was able to carve out its own characteristics and even thrown in elements of current society like "Instagram influencers" and the immigration backlash in the US. I guess I've missed these type of pure murder-mysteries as opposed to the hybrid horror/mystery or drama/mysteries that have other elements to their movie other than mystery, like "Parasite" or "The Minority Report."
Merry Christmas to all!
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
Master (達人, 마스터)
The North Carolina Mint Museum in Charlotte. The Atlanta Botanical Garden (next to Piedmont Park). The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts in Richmond, VA. These are just some of the great places MJ and I recently had the pleasure of visiting, and at each one we were pleasantly surprised by a work done by the master glass sculptor Dale Chihuly. I say master because Chihuly is truly one of a kind and the best at his craft of making elaborate art pieces from glass; ever since MJ took me to a Chihuly exhibit in Seattle 2 winters ago, I was hooked and impressed by the distinctive style of Chihuly's works. If you've never seen it, they're defined by their distinctive colors, brilliant shades of yellow, green, red, orange, etc., but also by the shape of the designs in wavy, fanciful imaginative ways that remind me sometimes of snakes growing out of Medusa's head. Except really artful. I guess the glass makes it easier to shape them that way, but it's what I imagine viewing ice sculptures would be, it looks like Chihuly carefully crafted them himself and took really intricate care.
The Chihuly works that we saw were in unexpected but very scenic spots: surrounded by a pond, in a garden by itself, and hanging from a ceiling. They are magnificent works that is an attraction in itself. I imagine Chihuly to be kind of the sports equivalent of Kyrie Irving, not necessarily regarded as the best artist ever, but so distinctive in his style and dazzling with his ball handling skills (and for Chihuly, his glass handling skills) that it's a joy to see them perform, and really seeing it live and able to view it from all different angles and being in the presence of greatness is quite the experience, not fully able to be duplicated just by viewing them from pictures. I just hope to continue running into these Chihuly works as pleasant surprises when MJ and I do a world tour of all the art museums in the world; maybe we'll see one in France! Chihuly's works certainly have made it all over the world, although there are only a few places he has permanent exhibits, like the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. Not sure when we would get there, but I've added touring various art museums in different cities to my list of categories to visit like baseball stadiums, college campuses, and now art museums.
The world in general loves masters of what they do. There's a sort of mystique about being the best at doing something, that there's only one person in the world that does what that person does. I've definitely personally spent many hours on Wikipedia reading about masters of different areas, whether it's Chihuly with his glass works, Lee Sedol with the board game Go, Bong Jong-ho with the masterful movie Parasite, even martial arts masters in the sport of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) that I've recently taken an appreciation in, have to train in so many disciplines of combat sports like jiu jitsu, wrestling, karate, Muy Thai, boxing, etc., etc. to become a master and a world champion. (This weekend, Chan Sung Jung nicknamed the Korean Zombie, Korea's closest thing to an MMA master, fights in Busan). Going to art displays around the world has allowed me to realize how masterful some individual people in the world are and how their ideas can inspire others, whereas before I just focused on sports score outcomes, my own life and ideals, etc. Greta Thurnberg is now a master in her own right at uniting people for climate change and urging action by political leaders, and now she's been named Time Person of the Year. At 16 years old! (on Jan. 3 she won't be able to say she's still 16, but still!) All these masters have in common that they weren't just born with incredible gifts capable of becoming masters, they were blessed with certain skills, but so are a lot of others! The masters are the ones who combine natural gifts with dedication and craft to pull themselves up from the crowd and work on their craft for so long and so much dedication as to become masters. I wish to become a master one day too.......at something. Biting my nails? Blackjack strategy? Obscure Japanese TV shows? Who knows.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
The Chihuly works that we saw were in unexpected but very scenic spots: surrounded by a pond, in a garden by itself, and hanging from a ceiling. They are magnificent works that is an attraction in itself. I imagine Chihuly to be kind of the sports equivalent of Kyrie Irving, not necessarily regarded as the best artist ever, but so distinctive in his style and dazzling with his ball handling skills (and for Chihuly, his glass handling skills) that it's a joy to see them perform, and really seeing it live and able to view it from all different angles and being in the presence of greatness is quite the experience, not fully able to be duplicated just by viewing them from pictures. I just hope to continue running into these Chihuly works as pleasant surprises when MJ and I do a world tour of all the art museums in the world; maybe we'll see one in France! Chihuly's works certainly have made it all over the world, although there are only a few places he has permanent exhibits, like the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. Not sure when we would get there, but I've added touring various art museums in different cities to my list of categories to visit like baseball stadiums, college campuses, and now art museums.
The world in general loves masters of what they do. There's a sort of mystique about being the best at doing something, that there's only one person in the world that does what that person does. I've definitely personally spent many hours on Wikipedia reading about masters of different areas, whether it's Chihuly with his glass works, Lee Sedol with the board game Go, Bong Jong-ho with the masterful movie Parasite, even martial arts masters in the sport of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) that I've recently taken an appreciation in, have to train in so many disciplines of combat sports like jiu jitsu, wrestling, karate, Muy Thai, boxing, etc., etc. to become a master and a world champion. (This weekend, Chan Sung Jung nicknamed the Korean Zombie, Korea's closest thing to an MMA master, fights in Busan). Going to art displays around the world has allowed me to realize how masterful some individual people in the world are and how their ideas can inspire others, whereas before I just focused on sports score outcomes, my own life and ideals, etc. Greta Thurnberg is now a master in her own right at uniting people for climate change and urging action by political leaders, and now she's been named Time Person of the Year. At 16 years old! (on Jan. 3 she won't be able to say she's still 16, but still!) All these masters have in common that they weren't just born with incredible gifts capable of becoming masters, they were blessed with certain skills, but so are a lot of others! The masters are the ones who combine natural gifts with dedication and craft to pull themselves up from the crowd and work on their craft for so long and so much dedication as to become masters. I wish to become a master one day too.......at something. Biting my nails? Blackjack strategy? Obscure Japanese TV shows? Who knows.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Things will work out (車到山前必有路，船到橋頭自然直)
I learned a tidy Chinese phrase today about one way to live life: everything will work out in the work, kind of the "Hakuna Matata" for Chinese people, literally meaning, when the car gets to the mountain there will always be a road, and when the boat gets to the pier, it will run straight with the current. Basically saying that even if things don't look so clear now, it'll all work out somehow or another in the future.
So far in my life, that "it will all work out" phrase has worked out. Just like the stock market, there have been ups and downs and sharp pullbacks and scary occurrences and massive setbacks, but overall whenever I've come to an obstacle, there has indeed been a hidden road I didn't foresee or a fallback plan. That doesn't always work out for everyone; a lot of people get to a mountain and then just get stuck at that mountain forever; sometimes it's a proverbial mountain of debt (student debt or mortgage debt, you choose), so it's not something that one can just rely on all the time. I often hear the phrase "it'll all be OK" thrown around a little too whimsically by overcomplacent college students or people who haven't had any adversity in their life; it's too naïve to think that everything will just work out magically, there should be a caveat to the phrase with conditions like "if you bring a shovel and dig a little bit, then there will always be a road." It's not just a road that's just lying there waiting for you to take it and ride off into the sunset, sometimes you have to strive for it and actively search for it.
I bring this all up because MJ is dealing with a lot right now with her knee injury, and for the first time since it happened I've been able to start seeing the injury from her perspective: she's already dealt with a lot of obstacles in her life, and she keeps falling into these pitfalls, and when are the pitfalls going to stop appearing on the road? For her, it hasn't always worked out in the end, and she's still trying to find her way through. Then again, some roads are windy and take longer to navigate through than others; perhaps her path through the mountains is just taking a little more time and with more setbacks than others; but it would be nice if the mountains were a little nicer to her and didn't rain down pebbles or make her fall!
I may take the "there will be a road" when I get there a little too literally; I wait too long sometimes to get into the lane I need to go to when driving and leads to us going off in the wrong direction and missing an exit or two. MJ has gotten so used to it that she just calmly lets it happen when I suddenly realize I haven't gotten in the exit lane with about 0.2 miles to go (very little time to adjust before I miss it). I guess most of us think we are above average drivers; I think so too and my mom and I get into a little non-threatening verbal tussle over this several days ago on who the better driver is; I would say I am better as I notice some of the things other drivers do that I would get annoyed about and try to develop that into my own driving, but waiting until the last moment is definitely an Achilles's Heel of mine. I also value not having to drive more than I do now; with unlimited wireless internet, I can do almost anything online anywhere, so it pays to be sit on a train or something and leave all the driving and paying attention to someone else. It'll all work out in the end when I get to my destination.
Sunday, December 15, 2019
Frida Karlo
Quick, name a famous female artist, and not like a "recording artist"/ singer songwriter like Madonna, Lady Gaga, etc. Not many people come to mind, right? Maybe Georgia O'Keefe if you're into Southwest American murals and female anatomy-looking figures, but the 2 most prominent female artists that come to mind for most of my circle of friends are Frida Karlo and Yayoi Kusama. Both of theme have exhibits at the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh, which is quickly becoming one of MJ and I's favorite spots to go to.
I guess all famous people have to have a calling card, something that they're famous for, and for Kusama I guess it's gonna be for the pink polka dots. Which is fine! (and better than the other thing she's known for, checking herself into a mental hospital). It's amazing how artists can rise in popularity later in life, usually do to a popular piece of work that gets universal approval, like the Infinity Room in downtown LA. It's a shame that I hadn't even heard of Kusama (or Frida, for that matter!) until like 3 years ago, and come to think of it all the art history I'd ever known before that were done by men like Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Monet, Picasso, etc., etc. Even Chinese artists were mostly men, and the most memorable are poets. Art, like most other things, has been dominated by men throughout history, which is why the Frida Karlo exhibition MJ and I went to is so important: it highlights the work of women artists and makes them our heroes, and somewhere a young aspiring woman artist can dream of becoming like her or becoming the best artist they can be. It's a little shallow to just be inspired based on someone's race or someone's gender, but I do admit that seeing Andrew Yang and Crazy Rich Asians does make me have hope to make it in American society, just as Obama gives hope to a generation of young black people.
The Frida Karlo exhibit was simple but very informative about Frida's life, from having a debilitating disease at a young age to getting run over by a bus in a nearly fatal accident, she seemed to have a tumultuous life and died early. The pictures that really delved into her personality, though, was Frieda in a wheelchair painting and her husband, Diego Rivera, himself a famous artist, standing behind her, wheeling around. A bit of comic irony that MJ and I viewed the exhibit with me wheeling MJ around looking at Diego wheeling Frida around. MJ then informed me, though, that Diego wasn't a great husband to Frida, and that seemed to be confirmed by their divorcing before remarrying about a year later. Seemed like there was a lot of marital stress, but I feel like that might have had something to do with him being 20 years older than her. Overall, I wasn't necessarily impressed by the quality of Frieda's pieces necessarily from a technical perspective (they weren't exactly dazzling masterpieces), but they have a type of unmatched spiritual quality like "Frida with 4 monkeys" or "Frida with Diego on Her Mind," a self-portrait of Frida with a portrait of Diego on her forehead. Really goes to show how powerful one's message can be even unexpectedly and have a profound impact on the rest of the world. Even Disney depicted Frida in its hit animated movie "Coco," so even they acknowledge the impact that she's made not just in the art world but transcended into mainstream consciousness. Me? I just liked going through her special exhibit for an hour and diving into the story of her life.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I guess all famous people have to have a calling card, something that they're famous for, and for Kusama I guess it's gonna be for the pink polka dots. Which is fine! (and better than the other thing she's known for, checking herself into a mental hospital). It's amazing how artists can rise in popularity later in life, usually do to a popular piece of work that gets universal approval, like the Infinity Room in downtown LA. It's a shame that I hadn't even heard of Kusama (or Frida, for that matter!) until like 3 years ago, and come to think of it all the art history I'd ever known before that were done by men like Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Monet, Picasso, etc., etc. Even Chinese artists were mostly men, and the most memorable are poets. Art, like most other things, has been dominated by men throughout history, which is why the Frida Karlo exhibition MJ and I went to is so important: it highlights the work of women artists and makes them our heroes, and somewhere a young aspiring woman artist can dream of becoming like her or becoming the best artist they can be. It's a little shallow to just be inspired based on someone's race or someone's gender, but I do admit that seeing Andrew Yang and Crazy Rich Asians does make me have hope to make it in American society, just as Obama gives hope to a generation of young black people.
The Frida Karlo exhibit was simple but very informative about Frida's life, from having a debilitating disease at a young age to getting run over by a bus in a nearly fatal accident, she seemed to have a tumultuous life and died early. The pictures that really delved into her personality, though, was Frieda in a wheelchair painting and her husband, Diego Rivera, himself a famous artist, standing behind her, wheeling around. A bit of comic irony that MJ and I viewed the exhibit with me wheeling MJ around looking at Diego wheeling Frida around. MJ then informed me, though, that Diego wasn't a great husband to Frida, and that seemed to be confirmed by their divorcing before remarrying about a year later. Seemed like there was a lot of marital stress, but I feel like that might have had something to do with him being 20 years older than her. Overall, I wasn't necessarily impressed by the quality of Frieda's pieces necessarily from a technical perspective (they weren't exactly dazzling masterpieces), but they have a type of unmatched spiritual quality like "Frida with 4 monkeys" or "Frida with Diego on Her Mind," a self-portrait of Frida with a portrait of Diego on her forehead. Really goes to show how powerful one's message can be even unexpectedly and have a profound impact on the rest of the world. Even Disney depicted Frida in its hit animated movie "Coco," so even they acknowledge the impact that she's made not just in the art world but transcended into mainstream consciousness. Me? I just liked going through her special exhibit for an hour and diving into the story of her life.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
Using a butcher's knife to kill a chicken (杀鸡焉用牛刀)
There's an idiom in Chinese that will somewhat gross out MJ, but it's basically translated to, "don't use a knife for killing cows to kill a chicken." A very brutal image to describe a much more palatable concept: don't use too much effort to handle a trivial matter, or in some cases, don't use an overpriced, partner-level attorney to do basic legal work. That is essentially what my uncle in China is dealing with now, where he has hired an attorney at a big law firm to handle his trademark infringement litigation case, but the case has gone longer than expected without the other side caving in or asking for any settlement, thus the case continues with large legal fees (partner's fees at bigger law firms can easily be more than $400/hour, I've even heard of $700/800 an hour for the biggest white collar firms! An astronomical sum for an hour's work, especially considering that a lawyer bills multiple hours of work for their time. As one can imagine, those legal bills can pile up quick, so you don't want an overqualified partner doing some basic legal work that only requires mundane tasks, as a client you want them to do the real heavy lifting, provide extra value to the case in terms of strategy or experience. A regular associate probably bills around half that, and sometimes the tasks can be done by paralegals and other legal staff. Having worked at various law firms in my life, I can say that there's nothing "magical" about lawyers do to justify being paid so much; it's just that the market is set so high!
Overbilling is very common in the legal profession, since the client doesn't really know exactly how much is being done or how useful certain things are. Appearing in court in front of a judge may seem super important for the ordinary citizen as that is the culturally accepted image of an attorney, but that's often a routine scheduling for a trial; often the judge has already decided what he will decide from the submitted arguments on both sides. What is important is actually the writing that's done by attorneys behind the scenes, or at least behind their computers, at their desk where no one's watching; that's where the research and legal writing comes in that's at the heart of the value.
I feel bad for my uncle that he is being overcharged (in my opinion) by his attorney, almost like it's my money (even though it's not, thankfully) that's used to pay the attorney. The most sinking feeling about being a client for an attorney is that the case keeps going on without any end date, and the attorney continues charging all the time for it. At least if you buy a car or house, they're expensive items but there's a finite end to the price, but a legal matter is like the worst Netflix subscription that you ever got sucked in, you just pay and pay every month considerable amounts until you run out of money and see how far in the case you've gotten. I've always been aware of this fact while working as an attorney myself, but often I work for multinational conglomerates where the legal fees become a drop in the bucket and get passed off to the customers; I feel but a twinge of guilt. But when flipped on its head and I'm on the client side, suddenly I'm aware of just how much of a money drain attorneys are. No wonder people hate us.
And I don't like the image of killing cows or chickens neither.........I wish we didn't need to do it. I feel guilty nowadays about eating too much meat, as I'm in the camp of feeling empathy for all living creatures....and the pain they suffer when we kill them. I knew a guy back in high school who adhered to Jainism...... they believe that no living creatures should be harmed.
Overbilling is very common in the legal profession, since the client doesn't really know exactly how much is being done or how useful certain things are. Appearing in court in front of a judge may seem super important for the ordinary citizen as that is the culturally accepted image of an attorney, but that's often a routine scheduling for a trial; often the judge has already decided what he will decide from the submitted arguments on both sides. What is important is actually the writing that's done by attorneys behind the scenes, or at least behind their computers, at their desk where no one's watching; that's where the research and legal writing comes in that's at the heart of the value.
I feel bad for my uncle that he is being overcharged (in my opinion) by his attorney, almost like it's my money (even though it's not, thankfully) that's used to pay the attorney. The most sinking feeling about being a client for an attorney is that the case keeps going on without any end date, and the attorney continues charging all the time for it. At least if you buy a car or house, they're expensive items but there's a finite end to the price, but a legal matter is like the worst Netflix subscription that you ever got sucked in, you just pay and pay every month considerable amounts until you run out of money and see how far in the case you've gotten. I've always been aware of this fact while working as an attorney myself, but often I work for multinational conglomerates where the legal fees become a drop in the bucket and get passed off to the customers; I feel but a twinge of guilt. But when flipped on its head and I'm on the client side, suddenly I'm aware of just how much of a money drain attorneys are. No wonder people hate us.
And I don't like the image of killing cows or chickens neither.........I wish we didn't need to do it. I feel guilty nowadays about eating too much meat, as I'm in the camp of feeling empathy for all living creatures....and the pain they suffer when we kill them. I knew a guy back in high school who adhered to Jainism...... they believe that no living creatures should be harmed.
Sunday, December 8, 2019
Go (囲碁,바둑 , 围棋)
Many may think that the predominant strategy game in Asian cultures is Chinese chess, or mahjong, based on popular culture and what's depicted in Crazy Rich Asians when Nick's mother challenges Rachel to a game of mahjong. Sure, mahjong is big in China, but there's one game that the Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans all respect as a traditional board game: Go.
Go in Chinese literally means "surround chess," and that's always what I thought of it as: use your pieces to surround the territory of the opponent's pieces. You get more territory, you win. Turns out, it's not that simple for high-level players and Go is so complicated because the board is so large fitting more than 300 spots, so the possibilities are endless, more than even chess. It's considered a high art form by some, and was even considered the fourth art form akin to craftsmanship, aesthetic art, etc. Among its 46 million plus players around the world who know how to play are me and my father-in-law (MJ's dad) who takes it more seriously than I do.
I was first introduced to Go at Chinese school when I was in like the 5th grade, and it was pretty exciting and fast-paced, rapidly firing these stones onto a board and trying to outthink one's opponent. It looks monotonous with only black and white pebbles, but there's a lot going on. A move can be either defensive or offensive or both, and it can be a short-term decision disguised as a tactic for the long-term. I wish I had dedicated more time to it as a kid, but I gravitated more towards chess and Chinese chess for strategy games later but enjoyed them thoroughly. There's something about sitting down in a chair to play chess or another strategy game for hours on end that's appealing nowadays in our digital world where nothing lasts more than a few minutes or even seconds.......the peak of my chess playing days was all about concentration and using all of my brain power to achieve victory......of all the times in my life I wish I could go back, reliving my high school chess days ranks near the top. Something about chess appealed to my senses of strategy and competitiveness, and just like MJ likes art in art museums and the way artists express themselves through their art, I really was able to express myself in chess by winning through being careful, precise, and sometimes daring by taking risks. It was some of the best parts of me expressed through a game.
Similarly, many people associate Go with art and expressions of humanity, that the more one plays go the more one learns about humanity, and life. It supposedly opens up a whole different way of thinking and delivers truths about how things work, just from that square wooden board with pebbles on it. Amazing, and yet in 2016 a Google program called "AlphaGo" with able to master the humanity of what Go offers and beat the consensus best player in the world, South Korea's Lee Sedol, 4-1. It was a devastating setback for mankind and humans playing Go because for a long time many had thought humans would still keep beating AI at go, a spectacularly complicated game, but AlphaGo did it 10 years ahead of time. If AI can do that, than truly they're better than human beings. Is the thought. I watched a documentary called "AlphaGo" about this, but my takeaway was actually the 1 game that Lee Sedol won, after he had already lost 3 straight games and looked beaten spiritually. He was losing in the 4th game, though, but somehow pulled out what some called a "miracle move," a genius wedge maneuver that confused AlphaGo and made it make numerous mistakes afterwards, leading it to eventually resign. Lee Sedol showed a lot of human spirit there, continuing to battle despite insurmountable odds and holding hope, and thousands of years later in the war against humans and AI I think that victory may go down in history as something the human race can look back on and show as proof of humanity. Go is truly a fascinating and representative game in that way.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Friday, December 6, 2019
Greed (욕심, 欲, 贪心)
I'm a pretty greedy person, but maybe that's not a bad thing.
I am very greedy about certain facets of life. Money, for example, my mom says I take after my dad: always counting my money like it's monopoly money or poker chips, feeling good when the pile of cash grows but empty when it starts to become depleted. I admit to this: I check my bank accounts semi-daily and my stocks multiple times a day to see if I gained or lost, even getting excited just by seeing the green sign next to the stock showing gains and depressed if I see red. It's a natural instinct of human beings: if I have something that I like, I want more of it. The Japanese have an expression for this: 欲に目がくらむ, when means rough, "to be blinded by greed." I guess I've been so blinded by greed that I haven't ever characterized myself as greedy, but I guess I am.
I am terribly greedy about sleep: I want as much as of it as I can, and will fight off anyone or anything that is getting in the way of it, even if that person was myself, several hours ago setting an alarm to go off at a certain time that I regret as soon as I get awoken by that alarm. Is it actually good to be greedy about sleep? I think so, if you're not getting enough of it and your body is thirsty for more.........I tend to listen to my body, but there's definitely times when I've gotten 10 or more hours of sleep and STILL wanted more or to take a nap mid-day (oh hey there, college-years Robert!), and that's driven by greed of wanting sleep, which you don't need. A huge distinction between needing and wanting, which is the barrier holding greed back.
I am greedy about how I spend my time: I want to multitask and fit everything into my schedule, when it can't really be done. Just today I tried to get my Mom to pick me up from work in downtown LA, but then also wanted to get a run and a little bit of dodgeball in, so I asked her to pick me up 10 miles away near University Citywalk……….even though it's Friday night and there's a ton of traffic.
On a related note, I'm greedy about how many tasks I can handle at one time: Now with smartphones and instant messages and high speed wifi and unlimited data plans for everyone's phone, we try to do so many things at once and always have at least 2 things going on at once, whether it's eating and checking our phone, driving and calling someone on our phone, or just walking and listening to something on our phone (most of the multi-tasking has to do with one's phone). In that way, technology has made us greedy and crave more stimulus and information, which can make us less greedy for knowledge and real pursuits...…
I'm greedy about food too...…...although I've been able to suppress some desires since I've becom an adult, and food is no longer a huge source of greed, although I do eat too much from time to time, especially at all-you-can-eat buffets (stay away from Korean BBQ's and Chinese buffets if you're like me).
I'm greedy about dodgeball: I say to myself I'll for an hour, but then when the hour comes I haven't gotten my fill yet or am still "in the zone" and just need a little more time, the adrenaline is pumping....
MJ is really greedy about TV shows, especially Korean TV shows that she knows have cliffhanger endings all the time that keep people watching but she gets hooked in anyway...that's why I've suggested movies most of the time when we watch together but I can only hold back the greed for so long.
I think what most "greeds" (I group them together like they're evil minions or 7 dwarves, or 7 sins) have in common is that once I get something that I wanted, I'm not satisfied by it anymore, that thing I just wanted 5 seconds ago is now attained and no longer desirable, and now I want something else. That could be like a piece of chocolate, where I just had the Reese's Cup and indulged myself, but now I want that chocolate cake over there, but more insidious is this greed we have to the next new thing we want to think about. Like during the workday there are so many times I'm thinking about "where do I need to go tonight. Oh Santa Monica. How long has Santa Monica been around anyway? What's the weather like in Santa Monica like today? Oh Ok, well now that I know that, I need to know this other thing." It becomes this neverending cycle of needing the next thing that I want and my brain's in overdrive trying to satisfy all these wants, that I really didn't even need in the first place. That's the worst kind of greed I have right now, and it's the one that most people are getting because of how our culture is and our technology is now.
What I NEED to be more greedy about is getting knowledge and discovering meanings of life. MJ is currently reading one of the most famous books of American literary history, "Man's Search for Meaning" with great quotes like "our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude." So profound, yet so simple. I like when I'm greedy about reading newspapers, reading thoughts by great humans, being curious about an issue and pursuing it. Those bouts of greed and inspiration, don't come that often and are often overwhelmed by wanting of something else.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I am very greedy about certain facets of life. Money, for example, my mom says I take after my dad: always counting my money like it's monopoly money or poker chips, feeling good when the pile of cash grows but empty when it starts to become depleted. I admit to this: I check my bank accounts semi-daily and my stocks multiple times a day to see if I gained or lost, even getting excited just by seeing the green sign next to the stock showing gains and depressed if I see red. It's a natural instinct of human beings: if I have something that I like, I want more of it. The Japanese have an expression for this: 欲に目がくらむ, when means rough, "to be blinded by greed." I guess I've been so blinded by greed that I haven't ever characterized myself as greedy, but I guess I am.
I am terribly greedy about sleep: I want as much as of it as I can, and will fight off anyone or anything that is getting in the way of it, even if that person was myself, several hours ago setting an alarm to go off at a certain time that I regret as soon as I get awoken by that alarm. Is it actually good to be greedy about sleep? I think so, if you're not getting enough of it and your body is thirsty for more.........I tend to listen to my body, but there's definitely times when I've gotten 10 or more hours of sleep and STILL wanted more or to take a nap mid-day (oh hey there, college-years Robert!), and that's driven by greed of wanting sleep, which you don't need. A huge distinction between needing and wanting, which is the barrier holding greed back.
I am greedy about how I spend my time: I want to multitask and fit everything into my schedule, when it can't really be done. Just today I tried to get my Mom to pick me up from work in downtown LA, but then also wanted to get a run and a little bit of dodgeball in, so I asked her to pick me up 10 miles away near University Citywalk……….even though it's Friday night and there's a ton of traffic.
On a related note, I'm greedy about how many tasks I can handle at one time: Now with smartphones and instant messages and high speed wifi and unlimited data plans for everyone's phone, we try to do so many things at once and always have at least 2 things going on at once, whether it's eating and checking our phone, driving and calling someone on our phone, or just walking and listening to something on our phone (most of the multi-tasking has to do with one's phone). In that way, technology has made us greedy and crave more stimulus and information, which can make us less greedy for knowledge and real pursuits...…
I'm greedy about food too...…...although I've been able to suppress some desires since I've becom an adult, and food is no longer a huge source of greed, although I do eat too much from time to time, especially at all-you-can-eat buffets (stay away from Korean BBQ's and Chinese buffets if you're like me).
I'm greedy about dodgeball: I say to myself I'll for an hour, but then when the hour comes I haven't gotten my fill yet or am still "in the zone" and just need a little more time, the adrenaline is pumping....
MJ is really greedy about TV shows, especially Korean TV shows that she knows have cliffhanger endings all the time that keep people watching but she gets hooked in anyway...that's why I've suggested movies most of the time when we watch together but I can only hold back the greed for so long.
I think what most "greeds" (I group them together like they're evil minions or 7 dwarves, or 7 sins) have in common is that once I get something that I wanted, I'm not satisfied by it anymore, that thing I just wanted 5 seconds ago is now attained and no longer desirable, and now I want something else. That could be like a piece of chocolate, where I just had the Reese's Cup and indulged myself, but now I want that chocolate cake over there, but more insidious is this greed we have to the next new thing we want to think about. Like during the workday there are so many times I'm thinking about "where do I need to go tonight. Oh Santa Monica. How long has Santa Monica been around anyway? What's the weather like in Santa Monica like today? Oh Ok, well now that I know that, I need to know this other thing." It becomes this neverending cycle of needing the next thing that I want and my brain's in overdrive trying to satisfy all these wants, that I really didn't even need in the first place. That's the worst kind of greed I have right now, and it's the one that most people are getting because of how our culture is and our technology is now.
What I NEED to be more greedy about is getting knowledge and discovering meanings of life. MJ is currently reading one of the most famous books of American literary history, "Man's Search for Meaning" with great quotes like "our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude." So profound, yet so simple. I like when I'm greedy about reading newspapers, reading thoughts by great humans, being curious about an issue and pursuing it. Those bouts of greed and inspiration, don't come that often and are often overwhelmed by wanting of something else.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Thursday, December 5, 2019
Letter to Myself Ten Years Ago
Recently there's been a Facebook fad of posting one's picture from ten years ago and compare it with one's current picture; I wonder if it's a way of Facebook getting even more information on you. This was preceded by the angry woman and cat meme, and various memes and gifs that one needs a dictionary or handbook just to keep track of. That's one thing that hasn't changed in the past 10 years: Facebook is addicting but also a time drain, colossal waste of time that's like junk food for one's brain: feeding tons of useless information about other people's lives and the latest internet trends and perverting the English language into memes and gifs. And yet I continue to hit the blue button with a white "f" on it every so often instinctively as "brain candy." Sigh.
As an alternative to the past picture, I'll write a letter to myself in 2009, hoping somehow that in the various time-space continuums that that letter would somehow make it back to myself during that time.
Hi 2009 Robert,
What's up! It's 2019 Robert. It's been quite a 10 years since, but you survived! Laser eye surgery worked out quite well, forget about all the adjusting of glasses, prescription changes, you will live glasses-free for the next 10 years and eventually forget you even wore glasses! Which is convenient because you will play a new game called dodgeball that's gonna get you hooked for the entire decade, and you'll be surprisingly good at it and enjoy indulging that competitive edge that you haven't done so since your high school chess days.
Enjoy the rest of your law school days! Even though it will be a long 3 years, you should enjoy as much as you can, even if you're worried about getting a job. Sometimes, life doesn't work out like you expect but still rewards you for hard work and perseverance: trying to improve yourself is never a bad thing, even if it doesn't necessarily have immediate results. Sometimes, (this applies to the other facets of your life too) it pays to take risks when you're still young and barely in your 20's, as you'll still have the rest of your life to make up for the mistakes. (Just don't do anything too stupid like violating laws or anything- on that note, try not to get too many parking tickets, they kind of add up over time).
BUY STOCKS! I cannot emphasize this enough. Some stocks will have gone up 3x, 5x, 7x, even 10x by now in what is one of the most glorious bull runs in modern history. Investing early will set you up for the rest of your life; take care of your personal finances.
Finally, regarding your love life... you will eventually meet the love of your life and marry her, but it might not be right away, and there's this whole awkward online dating phase that you have to get through first. Try not to get too caught up on rejection and let it ruin your chances; if you have anything to say to a girl, gather up your courage and say it directly, so that you won't regret it in the future and wonder what if your whole life. Say how you feel to people you like, and especially people you love like your parents, or eventually your partner in life. It'll make you feel better and them feel better. (Unless you're being super creepy or shady in stalking someone, then just kind of let it go- Let it go, let it go).
I suppose I should write a letter to myself in 10 years, too, right? (This is turning out to be like the post I wanted to write to celebrate the 1000th post of this blog, but it's happening now I guess).
Hey Robert of 2029,
How'd the 2020's go? So many questions, so little time. Hopefully you haven't messed everything up, the world hasn't collapsed on itself due to climate change, and Facebook isn't as important in your life anymore? Maybe all that language learning of East Asian languages finally paid off and you have a nice stable job somewhere utilizing the skills that you've developed over the years? I know by age 42 you'll maybe hit a mid-life crisis or something, but your 2019 self is trying to cherish as many memories as possible while still relatively young before it gets too late! I've also sacrificed some good experiences and slogged through late nights at work just to set you up for good financial health (and relationship health with your wife) so appreciate it! I hope the family is still going strong, and it's probably time for you to start or already have taken over taking care of your parents? I know that in 2019 at least your ultimate hope, after doing the whole touring the world and seeing everything thing, is to settle down with MJ and live a long and meaningful life with the family, so I really hope that future somehow resembles your present, even if it's not exactly how I envision it now. Most importantly, I hope you wake up every day with the same positive outlook and can share that with the people around you and can still make MJ laugh and make yourself laugh, as well as make your (future son/daughter) laugh? And you named the cat Paddington after you and MJ's favorite movie, right? .
And please tell me at least one of my stocks tripled in the ten years and made it all worth it. Is it Nividia? Please tell me it's Nividia. I went out like a champion in dodgeball, right? They retired my number, got in the Dodgeball Hall of Fame, right? Whatever happens, at least I know I'll have 10 years of blog posts to catch up on and indulge in the selected stories that I choose to write.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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