Today I engaged in something I haven't ever tried before: I went through a full job interview in Japanese. It was for a job I didn't really want, I didn't do very well at it, stuttering through many sentences and searching in my mind for the right words to say in Japanese, but I'm glad I did it.
Tests of courage, or "kimodameshi" in Japan, means literally "testing one's liver," but it's usually like a dare where kids challenge each other to do scary activities like go into a haunted house, or go on a really scary roller coaster. In a way, it can be beneficial: kids are pressured into doing things they normally try due to peer pressure and leave their worries behind (like alcohol for adults!) But just like alcohol, if taken too far, it can have disastrous results.
I remember when I was a kid I did a bunch of things because the other kids did it, and because I was a kid, I could afford to take the risk of getting an injury or something due to jumping a fence, joining the cross country team, doing a backflip into a pool, etc. The adrenaline rush alone makes us remember those times and leaves good, if somewhat painful, memories. Nowadays, as adults, we don't have people pushing us to do something courageous due to something called "laws" and "punishment." Without that extra impetus, we back away from challenging ourselves. Every start to the new year, though, people do get a little more courageous and try out something to change their new luck in the new year.
I started at a new gym with a basketball court! I also went to a new barber that's $5 more expensive than the one I normally go to, but it's a Japanese barber so I brazenly asked him if he was Japanese upon meeting him and launched into a conversation, therefore getting about 30 minutes of Japanese conversation practice during the haircut when I normally wouldn't say anything anyway. I now, real courageous.
But doing a full job interview in Japanese, that's a big step for me. Job interviews in general are not that easy; I struggle sometimes coming up with answers for interviewers in English, much less Japanese. Chinese is kind of in between, I can fill in unknown Chinese words with their equivalent in English, too. I felt that the same strategy in Japanese would work, but there's just certain things about rhythm in language where I could fill in all the small gaps in a sentence naturally without thinking in English or Chinese and catch myself in the middle of a sentence if necessary to change it into a different tense or different meaning altogether, but it's tough when I get stuck in Japanese. I also talk too much in a job interview! Sometimes I'll try to explain something using flowery language and insert a joke in there, but it gets much too involved in Japanese, I panic, and then it's all over. The difference, I guess, between full fluency and proficiency ( I know all the words but can't put all the puzzle pieces together just yet). It epitomizes my language learning though of not being afriad to fail: Each time I open my mouth, I'm susceptible to making a mistake (and often do), but by not being afraid to try it, I get a little stronger each time I take a test of courage.
The stock market is rebounding at the beginning of the new year after bottoming out on Dec. 24 last year (Red Christmas 2018), but it's a true test of courage to see how long the rally can last, because the last few rallies have been beaten back down and actually preceded the market going lower than before.
Cody Parkey just took a test of courage yesterday when the Bears played the Eagles.....and failed, as his field goal in the final seconds missed and the Bears got eliminated from the playoffs, 17-16. It was a 43-yarder, so not exactly a gimme, and sports fans everywhere are being way too harsh on the kicker, when a bunch of other plays in the game, if they went differently, could have made the difference. The kicker just had the unfortunate distinction of being the last to fail and have sole responsibility for the kick (as often happens in football), whereas the Bears could have also won if they got a little closer to get the field goal, their defense stopped the Eagles, the coach managed the time better with timeouts, etc., etc. Sports fans don't really think it through, in my opinion, and often find someone to blame for games that are .
To think, every time humans try something new we are taking a test of courage. Luckily for me, a lot of tests have ended in success and it's snowballed into allowing me to take new chances. Here's to a courageous 2019!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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