Hype (誇大)

Earthquakes. Storms. Active Volcanoes. Tsunami tidal waves. All are extremely strong forces that exist in this world, but all pale in comparison to maybe the strongest force of all: hype, or kodai in Japanese. Hype, for those that are unfamiliar with this mythical creature, is the generation of positive feelings, excitement, and anticipation for something. Sometimes it's justified, and the end product justifies the hype that surrounded it before its arrival, but most of the time, as with this next topic......things are overhyped.


Sex is overhyped. Yes, I'm talking about that sex, the kind of intimate physical contact with another person. People make too much of it, sacrifice too much for the pursuit of it when it reality sex is just a normal body function that people do that's pretty enjoyable. Without sounding too much like a prude, sex is nice, but it isn't something that people should give up everything else in the world for (all in moderation). From a young age, boys at least are pressured to try to have sex, and as much of it as possible. American Pie put into the society mainstream the idea that one must have sex before high school is over. When adult men talk to each other, one of the "boy code" things to do is to talk about how much of a "player" they are and which great desirable woman they want to have sex with.

The desire to have the overhyped product that is sex is what makes dating so hard, as tons of good-intentioned seekers of their true love have to wade through the people that are just "dating casually" and "wanna have a good time," going for a hookup. These people might say they are looking for a relationship and not just a good time, but isn't that what you would say too if you were only looking for a good time? It's deceptive but it's the nature of the "game" nowadays, and men aren't even that criticized for that sort of misleading behavior. The "pump and dump" has become too accepted in society. The impetus of all this is that my co-workeer recently went on an online date and liked the guy she dated because he mentinoed about going to a concert months later and meeting his father and friends, which all seemed to point to intentions of a relationship, but then when she refused to go into his house with him, he didn't contact her anymore. It's one of many horror storres I've heard and it's important to note that this originated from online dating and online dating is a whole beast in itself, but it does illustrate a sad case of how sex drives people's desires instead of the more important things about finding one's partner, like compatibility, mutual interests, shared goals, etc. Sex or physical compatibility shouldn't be high on that list of priorities if one is really seeking to find someone.

I really do think too much of the world's energy and resources is devoted to the pursuit of trying to have sex. If humans *especially men) were conditioned not to be so desperate for it, more attention would be focused on ending world hunger, curing cancer, stopping domestic violence, gun control and awareness, etc., etc. among a host of societal problems. Instead men (and some women!) devote their energies to try to "play the dating game" and get into women's pants. It's disappointing, and I think one of the solutions is to de-hype the motion that sex will solve all one's problems (it actually probably causes more problems, especially if the right protection isn't used). Make it not seem like the end all be all, make it a small bonus, the cherry on top of the cake of finding someone you like and might spend a long time together with.

Other things in this world that are overhyped: going to bars, drinking a lot, trying to hook up with girls (coincidentally very associated witht he pursuit of sex, and the reason why people do it, the outside chance of hooking up drunkenly). It's like the alcohol industry benefits indirectly from everyone's strong sexual desire by creating the night scene for singles to meet up and pursue those goals. I personally don't get much from alcohol, and the aftereffects far outweigh the minimal boost I get from having drinks/ getting wasted. It doesn't even taste that good! It gets you dehydrated, and it causes many accidents and death as a consequence of drinking and driving. And it might not even lead to sex. Overhypped.

What's not overhyped, I've learned through my wonderful relationship with my girlfriend, is having a wonderful girlfriend! Lots of benefits to that that go beyond sex, including talking out these things and ranting about the world to a ready listener (thanks for listening and understanding!)

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan