Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Does The NBA have a 3-pointer problem? YES! YES! YES!

One of the more memorable things I did this year (in a year where not too many memorable things happened) was to incorporate the awesome Daniel Bryan “YES!” chant into dodgeball games, and I really think fans/ sports teams/ media everywhere should follow the WWE’s lead. The WWE’s genius creative team started it by having Daniel Bryan (their coverboy who’s currently dealing with possibly career-ending injuries) chanting “YES! YES! YES!” repeatedly and getting everyone excited. The sheer simplicity of the chant makes me marvel at why others haven’t done it before. I used it for many of the dodgeball teams: Anytime anybody did anything good, it was “YES! YES! YES!” until everyone on the team was doing it in a collective chorus. Awesomeness, I know. It’s such a visceral emotion of showing exuberance, joy, and unrepressed approval. It feels good just saying it. Imagine the YES chant in the following scenarios:
1.)    Touchdown celebration when one of the Chicago Bears scores a TD. All players do a chant (not group celebration which is a penalty, but more like a high five)  
2.)    Fans in the seats at stadiums everywhere chant “YES! YES! YES!” every time their team scores a touchdown.
3.)    Fantasy players everywhere going “YES!” YES! YES!” when their players do something.

Speaking of fantasy football, I hope you won your league because I didn’t win any of mine. In a common refrain, my teams all perished in the playoffs despite pretty solid regular seasons, speaking to the randomness of the playoff system and the absurdity of allowing a full season’s results come down to one random week where players might be hurt, teams may be sitting players, franchises might be tanking to get a better draft position. It’s really just a subpar way to decide a winner ( I know, this is coming from a playoff-hater), an fantasy football players have to understand that. It may be the main reason that people stray away from fantasy football in the next few years (other than the fact the NFL is a corrupt cartel organization with a puppet leader who covers up black eyes and serves the owners in a true pyramid scheme and o yea, concussions).

I can see a similar fundamental problem coming with the NBA: the league relies too heavily on the 3-point shot. Look, I’ve never played in the NBA, I’ve never tried to shoot in a real NBA game with a guy in my face from NBA range (longer than college). But the NBA guys sure make it look pretty easy. I can see why. Why do all the fundamental things basketball used to encourage like footwork, driving, getting in the paint, drawing fouls, post moves, mid-range jumpers, jump hooks, elbow jumpers, and floaters, if it’s all neutralized by the 3-pointer? I don’t care how amazing your and-one 2-point bucket was in which you got the bucket and got fouled, it’s still the same value as a 3, and that’s IF you make the free throw, no guarantee. A 3 is too much of a value not to take. You’re saying I have to make 50% of my normal 2-point shots but only 33% of my 3-pointers? I’d much rather take the 3-pointer, thank you. There’s guys in the NBA for whom a 3-pointer is like a layup, it’s just one motion of the wrist and going straight up and down with the body. It seems like a very fundamental technique thing like riding one’s bike or hitting a tennis serve; you just sit in the gym all day and take 3’s until muscle memory kicks in. I mean, I can’t run fast, cut as hard, dribble as well, pass as skillfully, jump as high, or dunk as emphatically as anybody in the NBA, but I can go in the gym and hit NBA three’s at an OK clip. It’s not that hard. And it’s VERY valuable in the NBA, to the point where almost every team is doing it. It’s just math; why try for 2 when you can go for 3?  Have your big guy in the middle and kick out to guys on the perimeter who can shoot 3’s; bam offensive strategy solved. From a mathematical sense, it doesn’t make sense NOT to take as many 3’s as you can.
The problem with the three-pointer for the NBA is that it’s just not very appealing for the casual fan. Yea, Ok, fans like the long-range factor of someone pin point accurately hitting shots and “getting hot,” but that doesn’t get the ooh’s and ahh’s of a slam dunk or a killer crossover, or an aggressive defensive play. Unfortunately, none of that is emphasized with the advent of the three-pointer. Guys make a living being able to hit the 3 and do everything else OK to stay on the floor. As long as the NBA maintains the 3-point line, guys are going to keep shooting 3’s at a tremendous clip (3-pointers are way up in the NBA compared to say like a decade ago) and it’s gonna keep going. As Antoine Walker famously replied when they asked why he shot so many 3’s, “cuz there aint no 4’s.”
I can’t even imagine what it’s like in college (where the line is even closer to the hoop).

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan 

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