Getting it Right - Is it really necessary all the time every time?

Recently, I participated in a fun recreational full-court pickup basketball game with a group of mutual friends. What was exceedingly rare about this game was that THERE WAS NO ARGUING ABOUT CALLS! Fouls were few and in between but certainly non-existent, and when they were committed the offending party owned up to it quickly and “checked” the ball to the offended party and got play rolling again, no complaining, whining, dirty looks, or proclamations of innocence. Even out of bounds calls were very agreeable, with one party either owning up to being the last to have “touched the ball” or in extreme cases the “shoot for it” rule was applied immediately and one side “shot for the ball.”

I point this out because these type of pickup games happen EXTREMELY rarely. Anyone who’s ever been to a public gym knows this. There’s always somebody, one guy, or a couple guys, who’s complaining about everything, and in extreme cases more time is spent arguing about calls than actually playing the game. These things deteriorate down to one side not relenting and not recognizing the non-existent stakes of the situation and that playing and having fun is more important than getting the call right or being afforded their moral rights. Sometimes it’s advisable to just take a step back and say, “I don’t agree with this call, but for the good of the game let’s just keep playing.” Admittedly this is a harder stance to take than to say and advice other people do, but I’ve done it and it’s definitely refreshing and appreciated when others also do it.

I think the problem with sports, especially in basketball, is the pro teams we see on the court who do NOT set good examples. I have never watched an NBA game in its entirety where everyone just played basketball; at least one coach or player will always give the refs a hard time, regardless of whether they’re in the right or not. In fact, it happens sporadically, often occurring after EVERY foul call or dead ball situation, where one side is ALWAYS offended if the play is even somewhat close or questionable. It’s really not a good example and I wish basketball was much more gentlemanly and players raised their hands to acknowledge fouls once in a while, and not just obvious/ intentional fouls. I realize these players are making millions of dollars and their egos are on the line and millions of fans are watching who have a rooting interest in having every play go their way.  

In other sports it’s the same: baseball managers used to curse out the umps if a call didn’t go their way and bark out of the dugout at balls and strike calls (they still do) until instant replay was implemented. Football players crowd around the refs pleading their case when a flag is thrown or automatically do the “throw the flag” motion when they get up to indicate to refs when they’ve been fouled.

As I may have insinuated earlier, I’m in the (probably minority) camp of “we don’t have to get every call right.” Sports have been lined up so that there are enough plays to compensate a narrow miss here and there; there’s always the next play/ batter/ shot for players and teams to compensate for that narrow error. It’s not like these are monumental errors that people are getting away with and travesties; these are minute calls that were basically 50-50 to begin with that could have gone either way that the ref called either way; life and sports sometimes have a way of balancing all of those lucky bounces out one way or another without having to slow down the game too much to go over instant replay or stand around a pickup basketball court arguing about who touched the ball last.

I don’t know how this became an argument on disallowing new instant replay systems into sports but that’s my stance I guess; let’s just enjoy playing the games and less about getting every single call right.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan 

Does The NBA have a 3-pointer problem? YES! YES! YES!

One of the more memorable things I did this year (in a year where not too many memorable things happened) was to incorporate the awesome Daniel Bryan “YES!” chant into dodgeball games, and I really think fans/ sports teams/ media everywhere should follow the WWE’s lead. The WWE’s genius creative team started it by having Daniel Bryan (their coverboy who’s currently dealing with possibly career-ending injuries) chanting “YES! YES! YES!” repeatedly and getting everyone excited. The sheer simplicity of the chant makes me marvel at why others haven’t done it before. I used it for many of the dodgeball teams: Anytime anybody did anything good, it was “YES! YES! YES!” until everyone on the team was doing it in a collective chorus. Awesomeness, I know. It’s such a visceral emotion of showing exuberance, joy, and unrepressed approval. It feels good just saying it. Imagine the YES chant in the following scenarios:

1.)    Touchdown celebration when one of the Chicago Bears scores a TD. All players do a chant (not group celebration which is a penalty, but more like a high five)  

2.)    Fans in the seats at stadiums everywhere chant “YES! YES! YES!” every time their team scores a touchdown.

3.)    Fantasy players everywhere going “YES!” YES! YES!” when their players do something.

Speaking of fantasy football, I hope you won your league because I didn’t win any of mine. In a common refrain, my teams all perished in the playoffs despite pretty solid regular seasons, speaking to the randomness of the playoff system and the absurdity of allowing a full season’s results come down to one random week where players might be hurt, teams may be sitting players, franchises might be tanking to get a better draft position. It’s really just a subpar way to decide a winner ( I know, this is coming from a playoff-hater), an fantasy football players have to understand that. It may be the main reason that people stray away from fantasy football in the next few years (other than the fact the NFL is a corrupt cartel organization with a puppet leader who covers up black eyes and serves the owners in a true pyramid scheme and o yea, concussions).

I can see a similar fundamental problem coming with the NBA: the league relies too heavily on the 3-point shot. Look, I’ve never played in the NBA, I’ve never tried to shoot in a real NBA game with a guy in my face from NBA range (longer than college). But the NBA guys sure make it look pretty easy. I can see why. Why do all the fundamental things basketball used to encourage like footwork, driving, getting in the paint, drawing fouls, post moves, mid-range jumpers, jump hooks, elbow jumpers, and floaters, if it’s all neutralized by the 3-pointer? I don’t care how amazing your and-one 2-point bucket was in which you got the bucket and got fouled, it’s still the same value as a 3, and that’s IF you make the free throw, no guarantee. A 3 is too much of a value not to take. You’re saying I have to make 50% of my normal 2-point shots but only 33% of my 3-pointers? I’d much rather take the 3-pointer, thank you. There’s guys in the NBA for whom a 3-pointer is like a layup, it’s just one motion of the wrist and going straight up and down with the body. It seems like a very fundamental technique thing like riding one’s bike or hitting a tennis serve; you just sit in the gym all day and take 3’s until muscle memory kicks in. I mean, I can’t run fast, cut as hard, dribble as well, pass as skillfully, jump as high, or dunk as emphatically as anybody in the NBA, but I can go in the gym and hit NBA three’s at an OK clip. It’s not that hard. And it’s VERY valuable in the NBA, to the point where almost every team is doing it. It’s just math; why try for 2 when you can go for 3?  Have your big guy in the middle and kick out to guys on the perimeter who can shoot 3’s; bam offensive strategy solved. From a mathematical sense, it doesn’t make sense NOT to take as many 3’s as you can.

The problem with the three-pointer for the NBA is that it’s just not very appealing for the casual fan. Yea, Ok, fans like the long-range factor of someone pin point accurately hitting shots and “getting hot,” but that doesn’t get the ooh’s and ahh’s of a slam dunk or a killer crossover, or an aggressive defensive play. Unfortunately, none of that is emphasized with the advent of the three-pointer. Guys make a living being able to hit the 3 and do everything else OK to stay on the floor. As long as the NBA maintains the 3-point line, guys are going to keep shooting 3’s at a tremendous clip (3-pointers are way up in the NBA compared to say like a decade ago) and it’s gonna keep going. As Antoine Walker famously replied when they asked why he shot so many 3’s, “cuz there aint no 4’s.”

I can’t even imagine what it’s like in college (where the line is even closer to the hoop).

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan 

Last Day

Fortunately I’ve never had to experience what the last day of life is (or have I? In a previous life?) but I have to imagine there’s some of the same feelings one has at the last day of a workplace.

Unfortunately, some people don’t have the privilege of knowing when their last day is going to come. Just as a car crash or freak accident can cut a previously undisturbed short, in my line of work the end can come at any time, and in some cases you don’t wake up knowing it’s your last day of work.

For me, I knew it was my last day of work; I’ve known for a week since I put in my notice. Much like how I would like to go in real life, I went out on my own terms, and fortunately I was allowed to do so. I woke up knowing how the day would go. I tried to cherish the last moments at a workplace even though I’ve been here for the better part of a year and have gotten somewhat tired of the same environment day in and day out. In another sense, though, the boredom represents a sense of safety, security, of predictability, knowing that I would have a place to call (not home but) my workplace every day, where I would be accepted among my peers and feel like a contributing part of society.

There is of course melancholy and sadness on the last day of a workplace, much as I’m sure a dying patient knows its their last day on Earth. There’s the reality of dying alone, where no one else is accompanying on the final journey, where you know there are people you will miss and never see again, or at least in the workplace’s case people you won’t see working in the same environment in the same capacity as a co-worker ever again. There’s the regret or agony of “what if I just stayed?” or “what if I just had a couple more days?” Despite all the boredom and monotony and being tired (from presumably being ill right before my death) I suspect there is a sense of want to live, to go back to the way things were and to hold on to that forever, of remorse about “where has all the time gone?” and “this is it.” One of my law school friends characterized in a brilliant way that emphasized the deceptive brevity of law school, which can also be applied to life: “Welp that was law school.”

I think the last day of life, more than the funeral when the said person can no longer participate, is a great time to celebrate the joyous times of the life that person led, which hopefully was full and vibrant and full of memories, yielding many conversation topics to talk about. It’s a day where hopefully celebration of old friends and new friends and hopefully friends for life is able to overshadow the anxiety of separation and closure. There’s the sound of laughter and camaraderie that I cherish more than any paycheck, the “Remember when?” stories that are rehashed and shared, the realization that everyone has gotten closer through the course of being together. It’s when of the best feelings of belonging and togetherness, kind of like the (spoiler alert! About to discuss a movie 17 years after it was released!) end scene of Titanic where Jack and Rose reunite in the center of the Titanic ballroom. Touching.

Ultimately, though, it really helps to know that this is not the end; it’s just the start of something new. There are of course differing opinions on the afterlife, but I tend to think of it this one: It didn’t kill me before this life (kind of paradoxical, so I’m going with it) so I’m not TOO afraid. One has to believe that there’s greener pastures ahead, more adventures to come, and that the best is yet to come. Looking at it that way, it’s not so bad, the end; it’s the ushering in of something new, and for me now, where I am moving on to another opportunity, it certainly feels like a positive change, that something else is out there waiting for me, even though this past life/ opportunity was very very good.

Btw, if you're ever having a "last day" at a basektball court or sporting facility, end your last time there with a swish or a made goal, something special to remember by. Half-court shot to end my collegiate court at the University of Illinois intermural basketball court? I'll remember that forever.

Fantasize on, and live on,

Robert Yan

Japan part 2

1.)    Every TV station/ tower/ building/ subway station/chain restaurant seems to have a mascot, usually some sort of happy animal or emoticon with friendly colors. Why doesn’t the US tower have a mascot? For that matter, why does the US tower not allow people to go up to the top? Seems like a lost opportunity.

2.)    DO NOT try to “barely make it to the airport, especially on an international flight back home. My compulsive disorder of not wasting time at the airport almost backfired spectacularly when my friend and I took a detour out of our way to visit the Tokyo Disneyland premises, then got stuck on a train headed towards the airport that took longer than expected, then BOTH of us mistook the wrong terminal at the airport (There were only TWO TERMINALS, we both had 50% chance of getting it right!), had to take a bus to the other terminal, and just barely made it on the flight. Most international airlines cut off the check in time for an hour before the scheduled take-off time, and I barely made the cut. It also takes like 30 minutes to get through immigration, security checkpoint, and walking to the actual gate. Not to mention not being able to get the souvenirs I wanted before leaving the country, duty-free.

3.)    Sumos are people, too. The sumo stadium was closed due to no tournaments going on, but we did get a glimpse of one sumo practicing in one of the nearby stables….he was predictably on his phone, texting.

4.)    Japan is VERY excited about hosting the 2020 Summer Olympics, as any country would be. They already have the sites planned and the events outlined. Remind me not to go to Tokyo in the summer of 2020.

Pyramid Schemes

 

I don’t know if it’s the skeptical side of me coming out as I grow older or if I’m more maturing and getting wise to the ways of the world, or I’m just becoming a bitter old man, but recently I’ve been theorizing that almost every aspect of my life is a pyramid scheme. If you’re not familiar with a basic pyramid scheme, the most basic formation is an initiator who gets 3 other people to buy something, where these 3 people will get “benefits” if they get new people themselves to buy into whatever the activity/product/way of life is, and those new people will get benefits (monetary or whatnot) if they themselves get new people, and so on and so on. The whole premise being that that the activity/ product/ way of life itself isn’t as glorious as it seems so much as a vehicle for distribution and getting everyone else interested. It is not good to be at the bottom of that pyramid.

Well, recently I’ve been feeling at the bottom of a lot of pyramids. Consider sports- Football, basketball, and baseball are fun games, but are they really even THAT great of games? The rules of baseball are so arcane and complex, I’m not sure why people really like it in the first place. Dodgeball and some other sports seem (and are) much more fun to play (and safer, don’t tell me a hard baseball traveling at speeds of 100MPH between players 60 ft away is safer than a soft rubber foam dodgeball traveling at tops 70 MPH between players about 60 ft away. Why did baseball even become so big? Because people profilerated, made it seem cool, and the TV stations bought into it, stadiums were built, and people encouraged other people (friends, family, children) to buy into it, and now it’s one of the most stable institutions in the world, a billion dollar industry, spawning other subindustries like fantasy baseball and whatnot. I, as a fan and consumer of that, am very much at the bottom of that pyramid- I was encouraged by others to buy into baseball as an entertainment device, and I did, hook line and sinker, even though there are SO MANY other entertainment vehicles around.

Christmas is a giant pyramid scheme. The message being “Buy buy buy for your family and friends!” If you don’t buy, you’re an outcast! You’re not being loyal to your family!” Eh, not really, why do I have to do it at this particular day, or invest in the wrapping paper that’s been bought? Or watch Christmas-themed movies all day? This myth of the “Christmas spirit” sends the right message of giving and generosity but it can easily be just a life lesson that you always abide by, without the spritz and glamor of a Santa Claus and reindeer and spending on gifts.

I think I’ve already gone over how the law (law schools, law firms, the courts, the Bar Exam) all collude into one big pyramid scheme, where the Law pervades this general consensus among the people that lawyers are skilled professionals and a sophisticated craft, Courts set up rules that require the common person to have to get an attorney to represent them in court, attorneys work for fancy law firms that perpetuate the myth that lawyers are decorated members of society, and law schools recruit students and get students to enroll by showing off the image of successful attorneys with high salaries. It’s a HUGE rip-off for clients to massively overspend on attorney fees and is one of the best modern-day examples of a large pyramid scheme if I’ve ever seen one. I’m embarrassed to be a part of it.

Traveling is a pyramid scheme. The travel industry shows pictures of great places to visit that aren’t really that great and gets your friends to tell you about it where sometimes it’s better to just sit home and relax and not spend money. Billions of people in different countries rely on the travel industry, though, to support their industries, so the notion has to be put out there that “Traveling is fun! I love to travel! Look at me, I’m traveling!”

Finally, and perhaps most sadly, dating is a pyramid scheme. Sure, you can go on a few dates and meet the person and it’s important to establish chemistry and get to know someone, but you don’t really have to go “dating” to do that…….you don’t have to go to a dinner and a movie, you don’t have to go to an art museum to perpetuate the notion that you’re sophisticated (especially if you’re a lawyer), you don’t have to go to bars or clubs or sports games to “get to know someone.” That can all be done in the comfort of one’s own home, or in a park. The best way to actually find someone’s match, actually, is probably to be friends first, talk a lot on the phone, and then really get to know someone. Dating is really unnecessary, yet it’s become a bloodline of the dining and entertainment industry, so it has to stay. I imagine the inventor of “dating” going, “man people don’t really need this, but we might have something going here!” while peddling this concept to restaurants and movie theatres around the world to get royalties for his brilliant idea.

And yes, I’ve spent a lot of money on dates this year. I’ve also found that the person I’m currently most interested in lives far away and I haven’t even met in person, yet we’ve formed a pretty deep connection already. So I MIGHT be biased. But doesn’t mean that what I’ve put out here doesn’t have merit, and it doesn’t mean people have to be at the bottom of the pyramid schemes their entire lives. See what you like, evaluate if you like it for what it is or just because other people told you to like it, and make educated, informed decisions. Down with pyramid schemes.

Don’t get me started on weddings and foreign languages (if the world wanted to have a universal language, it might have already been done).

Fantasize on,

 

Robert Yan

Taking Risks

I don’t like taking risks. I don’t like trying new food whose taste I’m not sure about. When I’m at the end of a line of a roller coaster and I don’t know what’s about to happen, I REALLY don’t like it.

In life we make risk-reward assessments every day, every hour, every moment. By the time we’re adults it would seem logical that we would be better at making risk-reward judgments, but in my case it’s not always so. For example, getting in the car and using a cell phone at all is probably a TERRIBLE idea and puts one at risk by over 100%, with a very low reward utility of being able to call/ text in the car. Driving a car at all is probably a bad idea, given the risk of dying in a fatal crash vs. getting somewhere using safer modes of transport like bus and train (I know, not practical for many occasions). Still, I think it’s important sometimes to take a step back and assess certain decisions that we make. There’s also various divisions of risk-taking that I can see, where some are personal well-being based, some are financial based, some are satisfaction-based, some are Game Theory based.

Now in fantasy football and some other arenas (other than “general life” decisions because you only get one life), it pays to take some risk. Especially in a fantasy football one-week playoff where you are playing a superior team, it can be rewarding to take a certain amount of risk. Don’t like Frank Gore’s guaranteed but unspectacular 15 carries a game? Take a more adventurous option like Latavius Murray or Jeremy Hill (less guaranteed carries, but more ability to break out in a big way). Basically, anything that you have a lot of (meals left in your lifetime, or fantasy teams that you’re able to play), it’s a good thing to take a risk.

 

In dodgeball, the idea of a catch is usually a good idea. By going for a catch, one risks getting hit by a ball and therefore going “out” in exchange for the chance to make a catch, getting the thrower out and having another teammate come in. The idea of a “catch” is great for the team but a much murkier assessment for an individual player. Is my loyalty to my team worth me putting myself on the line to improve it? Again, dodgeball is like baseball, it’s a very high-risk game just because each individual play can mean so much. In baseball, I’ve always wondered whether hitters go up to the plate looking to hit a home run or looking to get a hit. I think it differs drastically for different hitters and what the count is, but on a fundamental level I think getting that home run is always going to be logically enough of a reward to justify sacrificing hits (at least so says Moneyball). I think dodgeball is the same way most of the time: go for catches. ASSESSMENT: embrace risk.  

 

Fantasy football risks and dodgeball risks are relatively easy to assess because there’s a true outcome: a number-based system that allows one to quantify what the risk is as opposed to the reward. Life risks, although much more significant, are usually pretty easy to quantify in terms of “This is how likely you are to die” and “this is how happy you can get if you take on this possibility of dying.”

The toughest risk assessment, in my opinion, might be the one that I’m facing now: the risk/ reward of leaving one’s current position and going to a new position. There are SO MANY different factors that came into play here from overall satisfaction, use of time (one of the most important risks is opportunity cost risk- we all are given only a certain amount of poker chips in terms of life choices) and yes, wage/ salary. The wage/ salary is definitely a quantifiable factor, but money is in itself innately has various values for different people- some people already have more money than others, it’s easier for some people to make money than others, some people need more money to be happier than others. Therefore, the risk of going to a new position has to consider the new experiences, the new money, the new experience gained vs. the continuousness and stability at one’s old position, knowing exactly what one has, like being on the ground safe and sound at an amusement park knowing that your stomach is not going to feel queasy or that you’ll be terrified beyond belief. Sometimes, though, that’s what some people need: the rush of newness, the delving into the unknown with the hope that whatever comes out is enjoyable and works out better, like a rollercoaster sliding through the dark tunnels. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t, but that’s risk. The only way to find out is to get on the rollercoaster.

 

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Blackjack

Title means 2 things: the manga I’ve started reading called “Blackjack,” an immensely popular Japanese manga series about righting the wrongs of bad doctoring. I may be too absorbed in the whole Japanese manga thing and going through a phase right now, but I feel like the best creative minds are in manga; Japanese dramas aren’t very original or are based off of Japanese manga. Like many other manga, it’s easy to get suckered into reading this manga for a long time, mainly because the story line’s pretty enthralling, it’s tempting to keep turning pages because instead of long stretching text on the next page there are pictures and clever uses of illustration, and because there are chapters that space out each particular edition; not to mention the language benefit I get from reading Japanese. Manga could be like the “football” or sports watching of Japanese, not in the sense so much as it replaces sports watching (Japanese people do watch sumo, soccer, etc.) but in that it gets woven into the fabric of Japanese culture, it makes people sit down for 3 hours or more doing one thing at one time, and it unites Japanese people with post-game water cooler talk (instead of talking about the big game, Japanese manga lovers gather in lines to wait for the new edition of the manga and discuss the eagerly awaited no edition), and there are some manga better than others (One Piece and Slam Dunk being the New England Patriots and Green Bay Packers of continuous success).

There is nothing like going through a hot streak at the blackjack tables in Vegas; I can say this now after I’ve arrived back home, not at the blackjack tables where I immediately lost 3 consecutive hands after making this jinx-laden observation. Over the years, my gambling tastes have changed, from playing online poker and live poker in backroom tables during college to liking sports betting to trying other rowdier table games like craps and roulette as well as taking it international recently with pachinko. However, my love for blackjack has remained the same (those last couple sentences sound ominously similar to a drug addict’s confessions of obsession). Blackjack inherently is a game of math and statistics, trying to figure out how often a 16 busts when you hit, or if how often the dealer busts when showing a 6 or 5, and making informed (by mathematicians who’ve made the calculations) or at least calculated guesses as to what might happen and acting on them. It’s one of the few guys that doesn’t seem like complete random luck (even though it’s almost exclusively that), that there’s other factors involved like math, momentum, strategy, and collegiality (playing with friends).

This post, though, is more about the American and more traditional understanding of the term blackjack: 21.

Blackjack is not a game that needs to be enjoyed only at a casino; one of the few that can be enjoyed both alone and without much equipment (imagining gearing up a huge roulette wheel at home or setting up a craps table, all that is needed is a deck of cards. I’ve sat around sometimes on an airplane with nowhere to go or just trying to run a simulation of “how many times does the dealer get 20 when he’s showing a 10?” just to see what it feels like in real life, or just to satisfy my itch to become a blackjack dealer when I grow up (one of my lifelong dreams and one of the only jobs I feel like I’d be pretty good at, given my affinity for adding up small numbers at a quick pace and chatting up random strangers over a game of cards).

There’s also a lot of mystery and intrigue surrounding blackjack: from the mystique of counting cards and winning millions of dollars (harder than it sounds, btw, and still based somewhat on chance) chronicled in the movie and book “21” as well as a widely-known but rarely-read or memorized “Book” which instructs every move to be done in any given situation for blackjack players that leads to the best odds, blackjack has a certain allure to it as a transcendent game, something that defies logic and has its own legendary status, like saying “that time Bobby Fischer won a game of chess even when spotting the other side a queen.” It’s no spelling bee, that’s for sure.

Blackjack is also a social game; the players sit around a semi-circle and collectively conspire (legally) to beat the dealer, who’s surprisingly also on the player’s side, with the common enemy being an unseen evil, the dreaded deep pocket House who always gets an unfair advantage of getting to go 2^nd and only having to reveal one of the cards they have. The players by nature HAVE to communicate with the dealer, whether it’s just by hand signal (hit or stay) or in a more traditional sense, asking questions about the hand or just chatting up how life is going, even if the dealer is trying to just grease the wheels towards a tip. Still, it can quickly become an open forum on strategies about blackjack, the oddest things people have seen, what sports games to bet on that weekend, and any other amount of banter, which really facilitates the action on the tables, something that can reliably become dull without the proper amount of commentary and discussion. I’ve personally started various traditions within our group of friends regarding blackjack, terming the battle a “team battle” where players get “team wins” if more players win than lose or “complete losses,” asking dealers for “rare, medium, and well done” cards in place of small, medium, or faces when the situation calls for it, and calling out “thank you” in different languages when the dealer busts (so far I’m up to 7  languages). It’s really a fun ritual, and I’d wager that I’m one of the more fun people in terms of blackjack players in Vegas, something that one shouldn’t be too proud of but I maintain a fantasy of to justify my continued visits to blackjack tables up and down the strip. “There’s that Ramblin’ Robert again!” I picture a guy saying from a back “Eyes in the Sky”  camera room at the Bellagio (my favorite place to play blackjack, they always have a 10 dollar table with a solid dealer manning the helm).

Ah, the joys of blackjack. Quietly, it has become one of the biggest joys and eccentric tastes I’ve developed in my 20’s. (Next to Mapo Tofu, playing dodgeball, Japanese language and culture, and international trips).

 

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Scandal

 

Human beings are attracted to scandal. Recently, the Roger Goodell handling of the Ray Rice assault in a Las Vegas casino has gotten plenty of buzz. I admit it, I am drawn to the scent of a scandal, of supposedly good people getting caught doing bad things. Psychologically, it’s a satisfying experience to see other people do wrong and put oneself ahead of them in the moral character scale, and it allows us some reassurance that other people aren’t perfect too.

The Ray Rice handling is straight out of a movie, though, all the elements of a high-class mystery are there:

1.)    A cover-up where the NFL initially stated one thing and then went to another

2.)    A powerful organization doing billions of dollars of business

3.)    The leader of said organization allegedly “covering up” for friends/ people he is close to

4.)    A grainy Las Vegas elevator tape showing the franchise player for a team striking his wife and then dragging her out of the elevator. Horrific as the contents of the video were, it soon got overshadowed by the circumstances surrounding the tape and the cover-up.

5.)    NFL denying the existence of the elevator, then the videotape suddenly emerging on TMZ, forcing the NFL to retract its comments and saying they never received the tape.

6.)    A mysterious woman in the NFL who apparently received the videotape and made a call indicating that what was on the tape was “bad.”

7.)    The leader of the NFL not stepping down amid calls for his head.

As with many conspiracies, the actual act creating the scandal, while bad, isn’t as interesting as the cover-up; the efforts people make to suppress the information, and the eventual pie-in-the-face moment when it gets revealed to the public and makes the cover-up look that much worse. There’s the inherent comedic/satisfaction value of “you tried to cover it up so that no one knows, but now it’s blown up in your face and everyone knows.” It’s really synonymous with the most embarrassing moment someone has, where everyone can’t help but laugh at someone’s misfortune. The embarrassing moment sticks in everyone’s mind because it is so far from the norm and also such a satisfactory experience, to see someone fall from grace. Consider Bill Clinton stating on national television that “he never had sexual relations with that woman” and then several months later appearing before national TV and admitting that he lied. Nothing attracts people more than “sweeping something under the rug,” It also sets the stage perfectly for conspiracy theories and speculation about a larger scheme. It’s tough to say what place the Roger Goodell- Ray Rice scandal will have in the history of scandals other than that it will probably rank below Watergate, the JFK assassination, and the Whitewater (almost forgot this nickname for the Bill Clinton- Lewinsky scandal), but it definitely has all the elements of a great political (really, it’s arguable that the NFL has more sway over viewers than politics) and won’t be forgotten soon.

 

On a completely different topic, I have a hard time knowing when to get a haircut. Are there hair consultants out there who can be trusted to give good advice? Hairdressers would seem to have a conflict of interest, while friends and family either 1.) don’t give great advice because my mom has a different standard when it comes to hair, and 2.) don’t give their honest opinion due to the “does this make me look fat?” effect: they don’t want to offend you.

It seems like there are different standards of hair in different societies. In Japan, for example, most people have long hair; they style it differently and I’m guessing trim it when they need to, but most men leave their hair long. In America, though, especially in professional companies, most men keep a pretty short cut. There’s also a difference depending on one’s ethnicity; as an Asian male my hair tends to curl when it gets longer, making it look tussled and unkempt. However, few things irk me more than when I decide to go get a haircut and someone later comments, “O I didn’t think you needed to get a haircut.” Or “I have longer hair than you and I didn’t go get a cut.” Other people, like LeBron James in the Nike commercials and Avon Barksdale in Season 1 of the Wire, get their hair cut despite barely having any hair.  I haven’t really gotten a universal answer on this and am still seeking.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

The Japan Journals, Part I

10 hours, 5 movies, 3 bad movies aborted 10 minutes in. So it goes on the annual international plane trip I've been taking since 2012 to a Transatlantic location (this time, I went to Japan again). Friends, I feel like it's my responsibility to bring up this very important point when booking international flights: see what the movie service is. I grew up in a time a long long time ago when there was just one solitary movie playing for the whole plane, no decisions, just a blanket statement by the airline saying, "this is what you're getting so be happy about it." Along with the plane food. Paradoxically, airplane movies are the ones I have the strongest memories of, from experiencing the comedy mecca of " anger management" to the strong emotional attachment I had for "Big Fish," to the "wow did that really just happen" excitement of "Safety Not Guaranteed."

The movies for this trip were not totally memorable, but a solid purge of vegetation after a fairly admirable streak of not watching movies. Watching the dawn of the planet of the apes in Japanese was pretty interesting, especially when Caesar of the apes was making legendary quotes during his Hamlet- like soliloquies. 

In 2 separate trips to Japan, I've made plenty of mistakes. But friends, don't make this one: if you're going anywhere outside Tokyo on your trip, do yourself a favor and get the JR pass, the train pass for visitors in Japan. It's like a get out of jail free card coupled crossed with a hall pass. You can take it on most trains in Tokyo. If you have the slightest inkling you're going outside of Tokyo, get it. The downside is you wasted a little bit of money; the upside is you saved a HUGE amount. ( basically sums up Jeremy hill's fantasy value for the rest of the season as he will get those carries for at least 70 yards every game, just a matter of if he busts a couple and gets in). Anyway, yea, get the jr pass, make sure a place is open (Japanese public building like museums apparently close the day AFTER a national holiday), don't try to walk your way with luggage to a new hostel you've never been to before, and always say "yes!" If a girl asks you to go to an onsen (hot spring) with her (See Japan post from 2012).

Other musings: 
1.) A million rainbows, cocktail hostesses dressed in butterfly costumes, a guy in a silver helmet playing guitar. No, I have not contracted a brutal acid addiction while in Tokyo. It's the no. 1 trip advisor show in Japan, the robot restaurant. A 10 billion yen establishment. Probably the Las Vegas of Japan in terms of glitz, glamor, wretched excess, and drawing foreigners with money. Surprisingly few waitresses taking orders.

2.) Maid cafe: there are maids everywhere passing out flyers, some not looking over 18. I mean, are these girls going to school?

3.) Subway system in Japan: the exit matters. In fact, the distance between the next stop on the subway and the distance of the subway station itself could be the same. So map out which exit you want to get out of before you move, otherwise it'll cost you some steps. 

4.) How many restaurants, video game arcades, and department stores do you really need? I guess a lot, because most of the ones we passed were full. And they LOVE Xmas . Maybe even more than america, especially the commercial nature of it. And the Christmas songs are in English! Do Japanese people really know why Mommy was kissing Santa Clause, or who Carson Brown is in "Winter Wonderland?" I doubt it, but it did put me in a festive mood, and I got my annual Christmas song fix out early. 

5.) In this edition of things that are weird in Japan...  Why so many advertisements on the trains? Almost every inch of the place is covered in ads, although that it is the main method of transportation for Tokyo-ians (is it that or Tokyo-ers?) it's probably similar to the amount of ads placed on the 405 freeway.

6.) Hostels in Japan are the new way to go. They have their own chain, they cater to plenty of tourists on a daily basis, and they're relatively cheap. Contrary to the image of a seedy, disreputable establishment, hostels have friendly staff and a pretty sustainable business model. We stayed at four different hostels, and they've really become the new hotel chains. There are your chain hostels, your downtown locate hostels, and your mom and pop hostels. One hostel we stayed at literally as someone who was renting out extra rooms in their home. Especially with the lack of space in major Japanese cities like Tokyo and Kyoto, it makes sense for both consumer and hostel owner. With hostels around, who needs hotels?

7.) People watching is an inescapable practice in Japan because besides people, there are just more people. Having been to Japan twice, there is a discernible difference between the average Japanese person's appearance and the appearance of people of other Asian ethnicities. A polite way of saying, no we do not all look the same. The difference is hard to describe, but Japanese people definitely have great hair, especially the guys. I may have seen more faces in a week here than I see in Los Angeles in 2 months, mainly due to the volume of people going in and out of subways. I keep envisioning my brain darting from one face to the next like a scanner, incessantly absorbing new stimuli until it overloads and explodes.

8.) Huge difference between sitting on one's butt all day looking at a screen and walking around all day. Hip hurts, leg hurts, knee hurts, feet hurt, name a body part in the lower half and it probably hurts. Train in your body to go through the level of endurance it takes to take walking tours, people. 

9.) You know how people can get lost in vegas for awhile and lose track of time and sense of reality? That happens in Akihabra in the video arcades and pachinko parlors. My friend and I started playing and next thing you know 4 hours had passed. 

10.) You know what food I've had way too much of the last week? Seaweed. Seaweed is like the tomato or cheese of Japanese cuisine, it's everywhere and in everything. Even if a dish is like 95 percent meat, Japanese people will sprinkle seaweed in there for some vegetable intake. It contributes to the same unique flavor that most Japanese dishes have, the salty, fishy flavor that is most easily identified with miso soup. Maybe it's also why McDonald's and other American chains do pretty well here: Japanese people might be tired of their own food, no? I mean I've only been here an week and I already tired of the infinite ramen houses and sushiyas and need some actual food. 

11.) Coming off the flight at Narita Airport, there was an admonition to report to the authorities if you had come from guinea, Kenya, and a number of other African countries. Other than the seeming absurdity of anyone from those countries coming to Japan, it seemed like a bend to the power of Ebola.Or maybe I'm just overreacting and the big scary quarantine room they had with hooks and scapels and medications wasn't that intimidating. 

12.) In many ways, Tokyo is still living in 2002: the video arcades are full, bookstores are booming, malls and department stores in general are still profitable and being erected, and people still crowd around reading manga. The ridiculousness of people reading can't be understated here: in America with everyone on their iPhone, playing games on their phone, staring into their smartphones seemingly on a 24/7 basis, it's refreshing to know that there's still a part of the world that thrives in the recent past, a bastion of probably one of the best times in the history of the often world. I kinda want to live here. But by golly, I would really miss having a car to get around.

13.) Private homes in Japan have a habit of having their last name labeled in the front to indicate the name of the residence. It's not like I've never seen this in America, but in an era of privacy, Internet theft, and the Information Age, it seems like a blunder waiting to happen to let anyone and everyone know exactly where you live, or at least anyone who sees your home to know who's living in it. Japan still doesn't see it that way, apparently.

14.) The train noises can become annoying. Urusai! There's one familiar refrain that goes on incessantly, without fail.

15.) Don't forget to set your fantasy football lineups or stock market orders or automatic ATM withdrawals or what have you. It's tempting to just forget about the old world while living in the new, but it can be a pretty transcendent experience to see what Kobe or your favorite football team did the previous night, without any reference or previews or analyst breakdowns or whathaveyou.

16.) 
I was constantly worried about cash and running on the budget I had structured for myself, but accessing funds is not the hardest thing in the world; there are 7 eleven stores all around he city that accepts international atm cards. And really, when you have the option of DOUBLE raw sushi to lays steak requiring some extra cash at your favorite all-cash restaurant, who can turn it down?

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan