As the year is relatively fresh and
I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions, this being MLK and all I decided to
do 10 predictions “I have a dream” style in honor of the late reverend. But
first:
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in my
life as the 341st most important day of this league’s history, a day
that will serve in the memory banks only as another day I spent in the office.
I have come to this hallowed webspace to remind all fantasy fanatics of the
fierce urgency of Now, a mere seven weeks away from March Madness, deeply
entrenched in the fantasy basketball season, the kickoff of the fantasy hockey
season, and (gasp) only 3 weeks away from when pitchers and catchers report.
This is no time to engage in the luxury of winter hibernation or taking the
tranquilizing drug of “watching games without thinking of the fantasy
implications.” Now is the time to make
real the promises of dominance. Now is the time to rise from the dark and
desolate valley of mediocrity to the sunlit path of excellence. Now is the time
to research for your drafts and band together under the solid rock of
sleeper-hood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of the fantasy
gods’ children.
And so let fantasy live on from the golden ponds of hockey.
Let fantasy live on from the bracket mania of March Madness
(long considered a close cousin of a fantasy leagues).
Let fantasy live on from the dormant (for now) gridirons of
football,
Let fantasy live on from the thawing fields of baseball
Let fantasy live on from the reverberating hard courts of
basketball.
From every fantasy team and fantasy sport, let fantasy live
on!
(Parts of the previous speech were
excerpted from another, less important speech delivered August 28, 1963, by
someone not as relevant as Robert Yan. Copyright infringement not intended; all
rights reserved).
Without further ado, I Have a Dream
predictions about this fantasy year:
1.)
In another wide-open filed of NCAA championship
contenders, the modern day Cinderellas of the tournament, Butler and Gonzaga,
face off in the Final Four in an epic rematch of their clash on Jan. 19 (Butler
won by one point on a buzzer-beater). The Louisville Cardinals, though, win in
anti-climatic fashion.
2.)
Kevin Durant becomes the first “Undisputed Fantasy
Champion” as the most dominant fantasy player in any fantasy sport for his ridiculous
2012-2013 statistical season, taking over the title from Michael Jordan, Tiger
Woods, Barry Bonds 2001, and LaDanian Tomlinson 2006.
3.)
At least one significant MLB gets hurt during the World
Baseball Classic and is out for an extended period, bringing scrutiny to why
the event must take place just before the baseball season and whether MLB teams
should let their players participate.
4.)
Adrian Peterson reveals via twitter that he is in fact
from Mars and that he was using performance-enhancing Martian food during his
epic 2012 fantasy season. Fantasy titles across the nation are revoked,
champions are stripped.
5.)
In the Year of the Snake, various big-name fantasy
players will betray and disappoint, rewarding owners who invested heavily in
them with garbage performances. O wait, that’s every year.
6.)
For the first time in the post-steriods era, baseball
actually gets some power hitters as balls (not players) get a bit juicier, many
ballparks bring in the fences just a tad, and it’s one of the hottest summers.
Not one, not two, but THREE! (gasp!!!) hitters actually break the vaunted 50 HR
barrier. (Here’s hoping one or more of those hitters is Josh Hamilton, Mike
Trout, and Albert Pujols).
7.)
A backlash ensues from the recent draft QBs early and often
! mantra as fantasy owners (in one-QB leagues, at least) realize they can get
great value out of mid-tier QBs Josh Freeman, Tony Romo, etc. and 2nd-year
studs RG III, Andrew Luck, and Russell Wilson rather than have to invest
heavily in the Big Three of Brees, Rodgers, and Brady.
8.)
Another fantasy sport comes into focus……….(I would pray
for dodgeball but that’s not going to be it). Most likely candidates are golf
(if Tiger continues his comeback) or Streak for Cash (lots of these “win a lot
in a row” games coming on strong, could be the next great office distraction).
9.)
In a miracle of science, Derrick Rose emerges from the
Adrian Peterson martian rehab clinic even better than his previous self,
leading the Bulls to dominate the Celtics in the Eastern semis, dethrone “the
King” in seven and then topple the Thunder in the finals. I have a dream.
10.)
On the strength of his new “Fantasyball” strategy,
Fantasy guru and brilliant fantasy manager Robert Yan finally wins his fantasy
baseball league, the title he has always coveted the most. I have a dream.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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