I hereby declare that this day, the 12th day of December in the year A.D. 2010, to be one of the worst days in the short and irrelevant (but meaningful to me!) lives of Robert Yan.
First off, apologize for not posting recently. Been busy w/ the finals thing, see. Just got done with 4 finals in 4 days (don't ask me why I signed up for such a rigorous schedule) on Saturday, which makes the tragedy of this day so painful because it could have been one of the best days of my life!!!! And no, I'm fine physically, nothing happened to my person, not a car accident or physical injury, I'm just emotionally devastated. And also, not a death in the family or death of someone very close to me, of which when that does happen (and truly I hope it never does), THAT will be the worst day of my life ever. But here goes.
Part 1 of One of Worst Days of My Life: The collapse of my fantasy football "A" squad. I pride myself on being a fantasy sports guru, a "wise-guy" if you will among my peers, someone who "knows more stuff" than other people, and honestly I have sort of a superiority complex when it comes to fantasy football/basketball/baseball: I think I know it all because this is one of the only subjects where I feel like I DO know most of if not all: Therefore it's always devastating when I LOSE at fantasy football, when all the time and energy and trash talking and pride that I've devoted to my team comes crashing down on one December Sunday, ending my season. But today's loss was PARTICULARLY devastating. Greg Jennings, who's been a BEAST for me down the stretch in the season, had not ONE, but TWO touchdown passes in his hands for the Packers before dropping them, amounting to 22 precious fantasy points forgoed. Potentially devastating in a regular season week, this destroyed me. Coupled with the Pittsburgh Steelers Defense picking off Carson Palmer TWICE for TD's (for the opposing team), and I was really deep in the hole. And yet, I was STILL in it going into Sunday night, where I was hoping (crossed my fingers, I really did) that Tashard Choice and Jeremy Maclin would step up and do some damage for me. Ha. Maclin had ONE catch for 10 yards. Choice had like 15 rushing yards and 1 catch for 10 passing yards. Thanks, guys. DEVASTATED. Fantasy football, for me, is a game, but it's also more than that....it's an investment. Indeed, I invest myself more in it than my personal financial investments, where REAL MONEY is involved. And I do fantasy football for free, meaning I HAVE to value it intrinsically more than even making money. I'm like a CEO of a corporation, a General Manager of a professional football team: I'm responsible for all the decisions, and I get the credit when I win. I compete HARD. And losing is tough.
OK, so yea, losing at fantasy football doesn't seem much to the average person. I agree, it's actually not THAT big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
But #2 hurt: Personal relationships.
I'm not a ladies' man by any means. In fact, all throughout my life I've had trouble, I guess you could say, interacting with girls/women. I'm much more of a guys' guy, if you will. Talk about sports, play sports, trash talk, make fun of each other, laugh about stupid things, guys' stuff. I know how that works. Girls; I don't really speak their language. Couple that with my not-overly-attractive complexion (see pic above) and it's not like girls are hollering at me.
**** Probably a good idea to stop here and explain that I am NOT gay....I've been questioned about it (I think unfairly), so need to put that to rest*****
So it's just that much tougher for me to ask out girls. I've done it before; it's usually pretty awkward; I'm not good at this stuff, I don't have a big bro/big sis to tell me how it's done, I don't like to confide in my friends about this stuff. ally takes a leap of faith for me to do it. As much as movies will say, "jusk go for it," or "just let your heart decide," and the "all they can say is no" attitude, it's different for normal people. A "NO" hurts. A "NO" could mean "you're not good enough for me." And even if you're one of the most thick-skinned people on earth, it's still difficult to get a "NO" because as the asker, you're the one who takes on the risk, who puts himself out there at the whim of the other person, allowing the other person to have all the leverage to say "NO." And when you do get the "NO", it makes you want to take that risk less in the future. It's a vicious cycle if you're a physically not-so-attractive specimen.
So basically, as you've probably surmised, I tried to "casually" ask a girl I've been talking to for a long time out today, and it did NOT go as planned. And I mean, I've built a repertoire with her f while and thought I kind of dug her, and more importantly, thought that she dug me back.
BUT........
It didn't go so well. And now I'm stuck. It wasn't a flat no; it was a "i'm not gonna be available for the next few days." So yea, basically no. I can't "casually" ask again. Basically, it's done. In a flash. Like what else can I do????? I literally cannot do anything anymore besides give up on this, I've gotten my answer.
This is the SECOND time I've been rejected this year alone!!!! What is going on!!!!
The sad thing is, today could have been such a great day. I could have moved on in the fantasy playoffs and looked forward to another intense battle next week in the semis (what I live for, fantasy playoff time). I could have established a time for a date, and initiated a healthy personal relationship with someone who I really enjoy. Instead, I am utterly DEVASTATED. DEVASTATED.
O and I lost at darts TWICE to my roommate in the morning. Fun times.
I dunno why I posted this on this blog. I might delete it, save it, and tuck it in my own private files. There's really no benefit to the reader of this; kinda like listening to a drunk guy at a bar wax on about his life failures, I suppose.
Good night, and I hope everyone has a better experience w/ life/ fantasy football/personal relationships than I did today, the 12th day of December, 2010.
First off, apologize for not posting recently. Been busy w/ the finals thing, see. Just got done with 4 finals in 4 days (don't ask me why I signed up for such a rigorous schedule) on Saturday, which makes the tragedy of this day so painful because it could have been one of the best days of my life!!!! And no, I'm fine physically, nothing happened to my person, not a car accident or physical injury, I'm just emotionally devastated. And also, not a death in the family or death of someone very close to me, of which when that does happen (and truly I hope it never does), THAT will be the worst day of my life ever. But here goes.
Part 1 of One of Worst Days of My Life: The collapse of my fantasy football "A" squad. I pride myself on being a fantasy sports guru, a "wise-guy" if you will among my peers, someone who "knows more stuff" than other people, and honestly I have sort of a superiority complex when it comes to fantasy football/basketball/baseball: I think I know it all because this is one of the only subjects where I feel like I DO know most of if not all: Therefore it's always devastating when I LOSE at fantasy football, when all the time and energy and trash talking and pride that I've devoted to my team comes crashing down on one December Sunday, ending my season. But today's loss was PARTICULARLY devastating. Greg Jennings, who's been a BEAST for me down the stretch in the season, had not ONE, but TWO touchdown passes in his hands for the Packers before dropping them, amounting to 22 precious fantasy points forgoed. Potentially devastating in a regular season week, this destroyed me. Coupled with the Pittsburgh Steelers Defense picking off Carson Palmer TWICE for TD's (for the opposing team), and I was really deep in the hole. And yet, I was STILL in it going into Sunday night, where I was hoping (crossed my fingers, I really did) that Tashard Choice and Jeremy Maclin would step up and do some damage for me. Ha. Maclin had ONE catch for 10 yards. Choice had like 15 rushing yards and 1 catch for 10 passing yards. Thanks, guys. DEVASTATED. Fantasy football, for me, is a game, but it's also more than that....it's an investment. Indeed, I invest myself more in it than my personal financial investments, where REAL MONEY is involved. And I do fantasy football for free, meaning I HAVE to value it intrinsically more than even making money. I'm like a CEO of a corporation, a General Manager of a professional football team: I'm responsible for all the decisions, and I get the credit when I win. I compete HARD. And losing is tough.
OK, so yea, losing at fantasy football doesn't seem much to the average person. I agree, it's actually not THAT big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
But #2 hurt: Personal relationships.
I'm not a ladies' man by any means. In fact, all throughout my life I've had trouble, I guess you could say, interacting with girls/women. I'm much more of a guys' guy, if you will. Talk about sports, play sports, trash talk, make fun of each other, laugh about stupid things, guys' stuff. I know how that works. Girls; I don't really speak their language. Couple that with my not-overly-attractive complexion (see pic above) and it's not like girls are hollering at me.
**** Probably a good idea to stop here and explain that I am NOT gay....I've been questioned about it (I think unfairly), so need to put that to rest*****
So it's just that much tougher for me to ask out girls. I've done it before; it's usually pretty awkward; I'm not good at this stuff, I don't have a big bro/big sis to tell me how it's done, I don't like to confide in my friends about this stuff. ally takes a leap of faith for me to do it. As much as movies will say, "jusk go for it," or "just let your heart decide," and the "all they can say is no" attitude, it's different for normal people. A "NO" hurts. A "NO" could mean "you're not good enough for me." And even if you're one of the most thick-skinned people on earth, it's still difficult to get a "NO" because as the asker, you're the one who takes on the risk, who puts himself out there at the whim of the other person, allowing the other person to have all the leverage to say "NO." And when you do get the "NO", it makes you want to take that risk less in the future. It's a vicious cycle if you're a physically not-so-attractive specimen.
So basically, as you've probably surmised, I tried to "casually" ask a girl I've been talking to for a long time out today, and it did NOT go as planned. And I mean, I've built a repertoire with her f while and thought I kind of dug her, and more importantly, thought that she dug me back.
BUT........
It didn't go so well. And now I'm stuck. It wasn't a flat no; it was a "i'm not gonna be available for the next few days." So yea, basically no. I can't "casually" ask again. Basically, it's done. In a flash. Like what else can I do????? I literally cannot do anything anymore besides give up on this, I've gotten my answer.
This is the SECOND time I've been rejected this year alone!!!! What is going on!!!!
The sad thing is, today could have been such a great day. I could have moved on in the fantasy playoffs and looked forward to another intense battle next week in the semis (what I live for, fantasy playoff time). I could have established a time for a date, and initiated a healthy personal relationship with someone who I really enjoy. Instead, I am utterly DEVASTATED. DEVASTATED.
O and I lost at darts TWICE to my roommate in the morning. Fun times.
I dunno why I posted this on this blog. I might delete it, save it, and tuck it in my own private files. There's really no benefit to the reader of this; kinda like listening to a drunk guy at a bar wax on about his life failures, I suppose.
Good night, and I hope everyone has a better experience w/ life/ fantasy football/personal relationships than I did today, the 12th day of December, 2010.
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