I'm a big fan of Lost, the TV series. To pass the time while we wait til January for the next (gasp, final season), I composed a lit of Dharma awards for the outstanding fantasy players that live on the island that is the fantasy baseball universe
Kate Austen award (for hottest player on the island):
Raul Ibanez.....never will win a Sexiest Man Alive contest, but he's been tearing it up w/ the bat at 37, including #1 overall in Y! leagues this past week. Fantasy advise: If you want a long-term relationship, cash in your steamy-hot relationship for the longer-term Juliette (do as Sawyer did)
Hugo Reyes award (for unluckiest player on the island): Johann Santana. Instead of the episode "Everybody Hates Hugo," it should be "everybody hates Johann, because his teammates fail to give him run support and decide to take naps every time he takes the mound. With a 1.36 ERA and 1.04 WHIP, this man should be winning all of his starts, ESPECIALLY with the mets lineup and a revamped bullpen. 5 W's is not enough, this man should have 30 W's.
Charlie Pace award ( used to be a prominent character, but is long gone now): Mike Hampton. The 22-W season seems like 10 years ago. Wait, it was 10 years ago. Runner-up: Francisco Liriano. Left for dead.
Sayid Farrah award (SPOILER ALERT- still alive, but fading fast): After getting a bullet by a Dharma member in the belly, Sayid's on his last legs. After having an 0-for-7 game less than a week ago, David Ortiz's career is dwindling down, and there's no island there to heal him.
Jacob award (could be good, could be bad, like a Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde): Hanley Ramirez: good for 2 weeks, bad for 1....cycle may continue. will he destroy everybody vengefully or fall and get burned in his own fire pit?
John Locke award (the chosen one, back to claim what's his): A-Rod. In this case, he's back to claim Home Run supremacy.
Sawyer/LaFleur award( best nickname): Jorge "The Aztec Warrior" DeLaRosa. Love it
The Submarine award(sends them from the island back home, to the bench): Justin Verlander, leads the majors w/ 69K's.
Rudzinski award (most annoying to have around): Garrett Atkins. Man never hits anymore.
Jack Shephard award (natural leader): Dustin Pedroia/ Kevin Youkilis joint award. Red Sox need both back healthy, as do many fantasy teams around the country.
Benjamin Lionus award (used to be in charge, now just a lowly peasant): Bartolo Colon. O, Bartolo.
Sun Kwon award (most likely to have a long-term relationship with): Adrian Beltre: gives you just enough to keep him in the lineup with, and nobody really wants to trade for him because his #'s are so bland. If you got him, you're stuck w/him.
Miles Straume award (Asian guy w/ an attitude): Kenshin Kawakami- 35 K's in 37 IP says he's got a nasty side to him.
Richard Alpert award (ageless one): Randy Johnson, still looking for W #300, maybe that's what's keeping him going.
Enjoy. For the record, I think Lost is finally clearing up, and the Lost producers gave us a glimpse of what the "real big picture" behind the Lost island is w/ the season finale, but I don't think they can answer some questions: like why were they so obsessed w/ the kids? Why'd the smoke monster target the people it did first? Unfortunately, due to the necessity of explaining some big themes, some storylines/themes/weird stuff that needs explaining will be given no or unsatisfactory endings. O well. Still the premiere show of our time, not just another crime drama.
-Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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