Parental anxiety

There's a scene in Game of Thrones, the wildly popular HBO series from 2011-2019 (seems like a lifetime ago) that I understand much more deeply than I did before I had Baby Girl Yan. Sandor Clegane, the Hound, and Arya stark stop at a small house on their way to their next destination and meet a father and his young daughter, who are just getting by before the winter gets there, trying to make ends meet. The Hound steals the man's gold and leaves them to die, and then several months later Clegane comes back to the same house and finds that the father killed both his daughter and himself because they were starving. In a series of horrific ways to die, betrayals, heartbreak, this was one of the most devastating scenes because that father and daughter represented the common people and in a way reflected us, if the high lords and ladies of Westeros are like today's political leaders or celebrities who get to make decisions from power positions, commoners like me would have to struggle in a world of chaos and some of the worst parts of humanity. If you watched Game of Thrones from that lens, that of a common people suffering while kings and queens fought for power, you might see it as commentary that all the so-called important people fight their trivial people at the expense of so many millions of others who don't get that oppoortunity. Above all, though, I do feel parental anxiety about the fate of the world and what will happen in Baby Girl Yan's lifetime. Parental anxiety is a real thing: some parents suffer from overwhelming stress worrying that they are not doing enough for their children, having sleep issues and inability to relax. I can still sleep well and look on the bright side of things, but I fear that the best the earth had to offer has already come and gone, that what is coming up is a backlash to all the excess and indulgent living the richest people put the world though for the last few decades, and now like Game of Thrones winter is coming, making life difficult for all of us. I don't anticipate it to be a situation where we're starving to death, it shouldn't be that bad, but it pains me to think how I'd feel in that position, that I as a parent couldn't provide a good life for my baby. It really has kept me up thinking about it, these worst-case scenarios that seem to pop up pretty regularly in the media like post-apocalyptic films and youtube videos warning us of the emergence of AI. If only I as a parent could transport my child back to the times when I grew up and give them everything they need based on what I know I went though, that would make parenting a lot easier but also reassuring because I know the earth survived through my younger years, even thrived. What's coming ahead of us, though is like a blank slate, but what I do know is a lot of the things I grew up with, Baby Girl Yan won't need anymore, and thus I can't help as much. I guess this is the transition from just a few years ago of me just caring about myself and plan what I want to do for the foreseeable future, to becoming a parent and thinking ahead to what I have to do for the baby, what's best for her, how do I fit that into my schedule. It's really a big life step; I hope I do better than Sandor Clegane.