Recovery

MJ was a little miffed at me today for being outside on a run for longer than she anticipated, and I did some introspection as to why it is that I run. A primary reason is that it helps control my weight, and I sweat off a lot of water weight especially in the summer when I run. It's really the only exercise I do. Another reason is: I just like being outside and seeing the world around me (I've talked about this before). But one last reason I hadn't considered before that I'd taken for granted: I like the feeling of my body recovering from the run, maybe more than the run itself. Sure the run allows me to get my juices flowing, feel the wind in my hair, get a runner's high, but there are downsides like going uphill, wiping sweat from my brow, ruining a perfectly good shirt, and just getting tired......feet are sore, you're winded from the humidity, bunch of negatives especially towards the tail end of a run, but the harder I push myself the better the feeling of recovery is afterwards. The several hours AFTER I've showered are probably the best my body feels all day, especially if I feed myself and replenish liquids after running, and put on a clean outfit after showering. The body got pushed to its limit, and now it's repairing itself, I can almost feel my pores breathing new air and different areas of the body rejuvenating themselves. Maybe it's that feeling I'm chasing every day and why I feel weird if I haven't gone out for a run.....my body craves it, and it washes away all the stresses of the day and makes the dreariness of a long run worth it. It's kind of hard to describe to someone who doesn't run, but I hope MJ can understand and get the same feeling of recovery that I get from running, and forgive me for taking up to hour away from taking care of Baby Girl Yan. I gotta keep it under an hour now though (including shower and getting back ready to take over), so marathon training from 11 years ago is just a memory. (Man how well did I sleep after those marathon sessions?) Perhaps that's also what happens for me recovering after traumatic events: the injury is deep and it hurts not being able to change the past, but the gradual ebb of time and healing might be allowing me to enjoy it more. 3 months after losing on Jeopardy, I feel a little better bit by bit, like I've somewhat getting back to normal, and I can finally eventually let it go and focus on moving forward. I remember equally traumatic events like losing at dodgeball or doing worse than I thought on the LSAT being damaging but feeling better about it after doing little things to make myself feel better. It's almost like the injury had to happen to have the better moments of working my way up from the bottom and cheering myself day by day, so that my mood improves gradually. It's a lot like thunderstorms in the summer: they strike quick and you get hit with a few minutes of pouring rain, but then the clouds go away and you might get a glimpse at a rainbow somewhere. Recovery can be rewarding.