Hospital Hospitality

 Both the words "hospital" and "hospitable" come from the same Latin root word of "host" or "guest," which makes sense: a hospital is where a stranger comes in to be treated for a disease and the hospital hosts the patient. I would, not, however, necessarily associate the word "hospital" with "hospitable" or "hospitality." Even though MJ is a nurse and has worked in bedside nursing, she acknowledges a lot of the downsides of treating patients in the hosptial. This past Monday, MJ was in a familiar spot: a patient at a hospital, and I was once again the lucky guy who goes to the hospital without being the patient. I think I've been on a long, long streak of not being the patient, ever since my birth; I hope to not have to do so for a long, long time. Anyway, the waiting room is often packed with people, giving us a good idea of how crowded the bed areas were; and this was just at 5:30AM, the earliest time to check in and prepare for surgery. Later on even the WAITING ROOM for family members gets crowded and jostling for available seats; feels like the gate area before taking off for a crowded flight on Thanksgiving. As for MJ the patient being prepped for surgery, this is not "The Good Doctor" or "ER" or any medical drama where the patient gets plenty of room in a well-situated room with a TV and a space for visitors, and enough room for Freddie Highmore or George Clooney or Ellen Pompeo or any of many good-looking actors to act as doctors and talk to the patient; these rooms are better described as a "corner" or a corridor with a curtain spread out to pretend there's some privacy; you could still sense other patients in other rooms within arm's length, without any walls to separate. The nurses and doctors do the best they can, but there are just so many people to attend to and people bustling around, it's hard to be attentive to everybody. Because we weren't doing major surgery or anything, we weren't "VIP" or very important people and felt a little like uninvited guests, as soon as MJ was done with surgery the efforts to get her strong enough to go home ramped up, and an urgency wasn't said out loud but omnipresent, despite her still feeling nauseous due to the medication/anesthesia and walking without proper balance (always leaning left when moving forward). Yet the doctor didn't even come out to talk to us about how the surgery went! Until I expressly had to ask to see if she was available to talk to us. Apparently she was busy with another surgery. Sometimes I do wish MJ and I were VIP, or at last treated like ones. 

I know it pales in comparison to the patient's pain and suffering, so not actually complaining, but the life in a waiting room is no picnic neither! Fighting for space, waiting for updates as to the patient's condition, having morning talk shows drone on with an inability to change the channel (who knew Kelly Clarkson has her own talk show now? And Kelly Ripa still has one?) Listening to some other families (who seemed to bring a whole entourage, and a whole church group too) talk about nonsense topics while trying to listen in on a work call, all while trying not to cough too often while still getting over the tail end of a Covid cough. Oh, and there was one receptionist who was very accommodating and receptive to requests.... he also had a stutter that gave me pause for a second but then I realized it was a medical issue. That's the thing, I sympathize with people with natural disabilities because they've probably been treated poorly by others their whole lives, so they understand how important it is and what a big influence it is to treat others NICELY. That's my theory at least; the other receptionist was very UNRECEPTIVE to my request to go back into the recovery room to see MJ because I forgot something. The more I live life, the more I realize how important that representative person at the front desk or the first person you first meet at a company or building is. That's the person that leaves the biggest impression on how a visitor feels. The surgery can go perfectly (as MJ's did, for the most part), and everything else can go well, but you'll always remember if that receptionist had a bad attitude or gave you a hard time in their only interaction with you. It's just not the right place to be grumpy, rude, distracted, abrasive, bossy, or anything that gives a bad impression. And it really doesn't cost anything to be nice. It's really the easiest job skill to have that doesn't take any training to adopt, yet so many places lack someone to do that. 

Hospitality at a wedding can also... vary in experience. MJ and I went to a young friend's wedding this past weekend and while we're very glad for the couple (young love! They're married before I even found my first girlfriend) it was a stark reminder that people respond to incentives. The wedding was let's say, not the most expensive of weddings (I totally understand trying to keep the budget down) but at the expense of lack of hospitality by the staff: an unsmiling DJ who often walked out on the music to go outside, waiters who didn't fill my water cup through the whole 5-hour event despite me finishing my cup multiple times, and a wedding planner/host person who barked orders at the guests (including me) to get out of the hotel at the end of the night so that the bride and groom could have a private dance inside the hotel. I get the private dance and special moment, but is barking orders at the guests really a good experience to have? Seemed like inexperience or lack of understanding of hosptiality, or just being irritated or overeager to go home as to project frustration; not like she had asked us earlier to leave, just immediately, first request, leave the hotel now because we have to do this. I'm not expecting so much hospitality from a hospital, but a wedding seems more like an event that should try to offer that.... at least if you're expecting more customers for future events.