Saturday, October 7, 2023

Cookie (曲奇饼, クッキー, 쿠키)

 Fun fact: the word "cookie" orginiates from the Dutch word koekje meaning "little cake." Or is it? According to wikipedia there are a bunch of etymological theories including Scottish words being involved. So I guess not so much a fun fact as a fun theory? The Chinese translation of cookie has the character for "strange" in it, and that's exactly how to describe that translation: never seen that before in my life. And oh by the way the British don't call it a cookie at all, they call it a biscuit. 

Despite all the confusion surrounding the language of cookies, most people agree that cookies are good. When I go to a reception or lunch meeting or law school event, there's always some sort of cookie there. Chinese people love almond cookies. When I was a kid, Subway day was on Tuesday and almost always had a sandwich (of dubious quality meat), a bag of chips, and a cookie. Cookies don't go bad, they don't require a fork to eat, they are usually bristling with sugar so kids love it no matter what: the perfect treat. No wonder I tried to bake cookies as the first cooking experience of my life, passing the test rather easily by taking the dough out, putting it in the oven, and waiting until it turned into a cookie; so easy a fifth grader could do it. Then I started liking uncooked cookie dough more and started just eating that despite all the warnings by my junior high school teachers...but that's a different story. My favorite would probably be peanut butter cookies as the chocolate chip cookies get a little bland and predictable after awhile, sugar doesn't have the same blend of flavors peanut butter does, and macademian nut is not always available. Oatmeal raisin in a different universe would be good if chocolate didn't exist (kind of like Cain would be nice if Able didn't exist) but alas it's always going to be the redheaded stepchild of chocolate chip, and often mistaken for one. 

I mention cookies as an example of all the good desserts there are in the world and the reason why I never order dessert at a restaurant unless it's already pre-packaged in (and I suspect why restaurants DO want you to spend extra money to buy the dessert): no dessert is bad; you're ALWAYS going to like the dessert, especially after a regular meal of other non-sweet foods. Any fifth-grader can make a tasty sweet thing, so why go to "professional" cooks and chefs to make it for you? Cookie dough tastes just as good as any ice cream, fondue, teramisu combination I've ever had. There is something to be sad for using natural ingrediants and not getting that artificial-tasting sugar (I read somewhere that the Pumpkin Spiced Latte at Starbucks has the most scoops of sugar of any drink in the world).....fair point, I'm not a fan of sugar, or any other food that makes me addicted to it the more I have of it. So MJ and I tried to create our own dessert tonight, the super-trendy (at least on Vegan Instagram which MJ patrols dutifully) Peanut Chocolate Date Bark, which literally lists almost all of its ingrediants in the title, mixing together pitted dates (a nice dessert in its own right that has allowed me to get that sweet aftertaste after lunch meals to stay away from fattier sweets), peanut butter, peanuts, and chocolate chips. (And sea salt optional, but MJ is as allergic to extra salt as anyone can be who's not actually allergic to salt). Real easy process (I like pitting dates, actually, it's like the opposite of shucking oysters as you're opening up a date but instead of taking out the edible part, you're removing the unedible part and leaving the cannoli, er, the fleshy fruity part of the date. Spread the date apart, spread peanut butter like you would butter up a roll, sprinkle peanut butter (organic, unsalted, healthiest peanuts in the world straight from George Washington Carver's peanut lab if need be) and then finally pour on melted chocolate.....cool in fridge or freezer for a little bit and voila! (Voila sure is a useful word for recipes and cooking instructions) and it turns into pieces of bark.... or at least the chocolate does. Really, though, you could just scoop peanut butter and chocolate straight from their respective jars and insert directly into mouth and it's the same taste: you can never go wrong with that, so who are the dessert shops, candy creators, and producers of any sweet food kidding? 

The date bark's texture is pretty similar to a cookie. Did I mention that the Peanut Chocolate Date Bark is also VEGAN!!! (Super important nowadays, and worth an extra buck at checkout for restaurants just for the vegan tax that society imposes). No milk chocolate needed! I feel like I should get a Boy Scout badge for dessert-making now. 



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