The title phrase has become used a bit too much as to become trite, and indeed I may have used it in a previous blog entry, but I use it in a very specific context: I read the Nathan Chen memoir about his success at the 2022 Beijing Olympic Games, you know, THE American figure skater, the "Quad King" himself because of the spectacular amount of quads he executes in his skating performances, Nathan Chen....that guy is more of a Chinese American than I realized. Son of Chinese immigrants much like my parents were, he grew up in a family with 5 kids in Salt Lake City (is that area just generally more of a fertile area?) and apparently had a great relationship with his mom, who he credited with his gold medal at the Beijing Games, saying his mom was there with him ever since he was 3. Nathan included Chinese quotes in each of his chapters (shame, I don't know if he speaks Chinese that well, with all the time devoted to skating and all) and "failure is the mother of success" was one of them, but in his case it seems like "Mother is the mother of success." It's so important how parents but especially mothers do for their kids to lead them to a successful life, and I was (shockingly) moved to tears a bit in the middle of the library reading Nathan's life imagining what it's like to be a parent seeing a son be able to give that sort of speech after reaching such a big accomplishment. Probably feels like you won at life; but also, props to Nathan's mom for giving birth to 5 kids! MJ and I are struggling even coming up with one.
As I mentioned earlier, I am one of those people who gets motivated by failure, as so much of my motivations are driven by a perceived slight by others as looking down on my skills (wanted to pursue chess because I lost games to others, studied Japanese because co-workers didn't think I knew Japanese, studied Korean because MJ said my Korean was "very basic," and got into trivia because the wife of a law school friend once gave me the cold shoulder because I wasn't good enough for her at trivia). I get motivated by failures, but I do hope those failures eventually turn into success, like maybe the Failure Mother can get pregnant soon and give birth to a a big ball of energy called success? Also, it sure seems like the cultural icons American society celebrates nowadays aren't the best representatives of those who had to "fall down 7, get up 8," and fail multiple times before they succeeded.....seems like there are a lot of Cardi B's, Taylor Swifts, Youtubers, and the like who immediately got success and never had to battle it out and start from the bottom before finally reaching a peak. I appreciate those who DID have to fail many times, thought they could achieve their dreams but got shot down time and time again, before eventually, through some miracle or just pure perserverance, getting a lucky break and "making it." Basically, I'll continue taking the Jeopardy test and get motivated each time I feel like I did decently on it didn't hear anything back.
For some reason, probably flying in the face of reality, I have a natural presence on camera. I "did a thing" this past weekend that I can't be specific about at all, but I was basically on camera and told to exhibit great energy and I think I passed with flying colors! I just enjoy finally being able to put my winning personality and enthusiasm on camera, I guess, but I was not shy at all, smiled the whole time, and was able to keep myself from swaying back and forth (I think) and didn't stutter when I talked. It's like I was born for this! I kind of understand why there are so many wannabe actors in the world but specifically LA now (and so many currently on strike marching in the SAG-AFTRA battle)- being on camera is kind of a cool feeling, knowing you're the center of attention and FINALLY everyone's listening to you and you can just be yourself and talk about something (and if you're like me, have a joke or 2 ready to break down the nerves). I really dislike having to talk in meetings about the law because I fear sounding dumb or saying something wrong, but when it's just spiffing about casual conversation or something I know about, I can be as happy as you want me to be and for as long as you need me to be! Despite my rather mundane looks and rarely-represented-on-TV demographic, I really feel like I'm in the wrong industry. I was meant to be a STAR! I just needed the "quad king" skills of Nathan Chen and the boyish good looks. Alas, the world will never know what it was missing with Bobby Yan as the star of of a show.
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