I read the synopsis of a book called "The Pearl" by John Steinbeck that resonated with me deeply. My summary doesn't do Steinbeck's work justice, but the Pearl is about a man who finds a big pearl that's likely very valuable, and he hopes to sell it to help his sick child get medical treatment. All very noble and seems to be a good omen and windfall for the man, right? The problem and main conflict of the story, and a very useful lesson for readers to learn from, is that he tells other people in the village about his discovery of the pearl, and the news spreads throughout the village that he has it, causing jealousy, attempted thefts, and general worsening of life. The man's wife tries to convince him to throw away the pearl, but he insists on keeping it to save his son, but in the a gang who comes to rob him of his pearl shoots and kills his son anyway. A sad story indeed, but illustrates one of the main reasons why the societal norm is NOT to tell people about your financial situation, how much you make, etc.
I have to introduce myself as an attorney at my work and to my clients, of course, but when I'm in my public as a normal person, I don't introduce myself as an attorney, and it's mainly because I don't want to be associated with a lucrative career. I made the mistake in 2013 when I bought my first car......I learned from a Cosby Show episode not to show up to a car dealer looking too fancy or like your made of money, but I also let loose at one point that I was an attorney. Big mistake.....from that point on I felt the mood in the room shift, and the car salesmen I was dealing with turned into sharks who smelled blood in the water, even though they didn't anything else about me. That's just the nature of human beings....we try to find a way to benefit from other people, whether it's companionship, love, status, comfort, or in the case of most service businesses, money. I have to admit I feel it too as hard as I try not to......when I'm dealing with a low-income client with little to no funds, I don't try to advise too many legal actions, whereas I know that big multinational clients can afford the legal expenses and the fees associates with billing for more hours.
So how to deal with questions about financial health? I adhere to a "don't ask, don't tell policy" where I don't ask people about their salary or reveal even by insinuation how much I make. I also try not to assume that anyone else has money and go out to dinner with them just so they'll pick up the tab or anything like that; I just try to live by ignorant bliss about the topic and treat everyone equally and on a level playing field as me. In fact, it's always better for me to assume other people have little wealth and then be pleasantly surprised if and when they reveal they're actually pretty well-off, or the flip side, let other people assume I don't have much money until money is needed, and then I come through in the clutch!
Don't let people know how much money you have or make! It can really do damage to human relationships just like it did to the protagonist in the Pearl. Thank you, John Steinbeck, and I really appreciated East of Eden, the Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men too!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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