The Joys of Traveling Light

Sitting in the Queen City of Charlotte, North Carolina, I’m reminded of my personal philosophy on traveling: Traveling light, eating light (don’t eat at the airport). My best experiences when traveling when I just have my laptop with me, nothing else (luckily, I have 2 homes with 2 sets of cloth between my own place with MJ and my parents’ place). I often wince watching people with their carry-on bag and a second “personal item” trying to cram in through the center aisle of the airplane and then trying to defy the laws of physics by cramming them all into the holders. There’s a 100%, without fail, announcement of every single flight I get on where the airline representative asks people to volunteer to check their bag……there’s just literally not enough space on flights. Walking through the airport is also so much more liberating with just a laptop bag: you don’t have to roll a bag and carry the other, don’t have to figure out where to put your luggage when using the restroom, don’ have to take up extra space in the waiting area taking up seats.

Speaking of Halloween, I’m considering dressing up as the scariest things I can think of this year: TSA Agents. I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with TSA agents and it’s never like a friendly relationship with them, most times I just try to keep my head down, do as they say and get through as quickly as possible without altercation, but this year has seen a particularly tumultuous relationship between Robert and TSA Agents of America. Just this morning I had gotten through the long line to get to the ticket check (apparently the busiest times at airports are around 4:30AM-5:30AM Monday mornings, while the rest of the world sleeps travelers have to get started early, I guess), I had safely put my hands up and swiped through, and the only thing keeping me from daylight was getting my bags…. And then like a slow motion horror movie (emphasis on slow), a friendly neighborhood TSA agent stopped for a “random check” of my bag despite me having the same contents every single time I fly through, twice a week, through airports. When I mentioned I had to get to my flight which closed its doors in 5 minutes, there was no apology, no sympathy shown, just a curt, “Don’t give me that, it’s not our fault you were late.” Thanks, TSA, for your concern. The position strikes me as one that appeals to the same demographic as police officers: those who seek to be in a position of authority for even just a brief moment (this is where the backstory of the villain and how they turned into a villain would like start, much like “Breaking Bad” or “Joker.”) and they struggled with authority issues when younger. No accountability, no need to go through any customer service training, no competition to worry about customers going through a different transit authority, they’re just there to be a check between you and bad guys getting on the flight (but, in many more cases, a check between you and getting through security quickly and easily). I’ve often gotten scolded, reprimanded, badgered, ordered, rebuked, and other choice verbs by a security officer who seems befuddled as to why people aren’t already doing what he/she is instructing, even though different airports have different policies as to shoes off/ belts off, etc. It’s gotten to the point where I get tense just going approaching an airport knowing I need to be greeted by a TSA officer, like going to the dentist or going into my boss’s office knowing they have some criticism or harsh order to give me. Why do I subject myself to living through this horror movie over and again? This Halloween, hats off to the very villainous and very scary TSA agents of America.

Handicap Accessible (ハンディキャップアクセシブル, 残障可用)

side effects of MJ's scooter injury and subsequent broken leg: I've had to do a lot more chores around the house that MJ usually did before (so I gained appreciation for her usual diligence but also gained a little annoyance over her OCD meticulousness- she's the first person I've met who picks up every single hair that drops onto the floor from my body- if only we could sell each hair for money- we'd get rich from picking them all up!) I've gained much more appreciation for handicap accessible public facilities and places that allow for handicap spaces.

Normally when I scour a parking lot for parking spots, I get a little agitated when I can't find a spot right away and then I see the open handicapped spot in a cushy location that's open but I can't use and think, "man I wish I could use that." Other thoughts that popped into my mind include "do they really need that many handicap spots?" and "maybe I should get handicapped to use that spot." All invalid thoughts......there are actually quite a few people who need it, and what you don't want is to have a dearth of spots for those who really need to get out near the door. It's an ordeal to get MJ out of the car into a wheelchair or onto crutches every time we go somewhere, and then back into the car, much more of a hassle than just someone walking out of a car. And MJ's just temporarily disabled and can use the rest of her body, I can imagine how much more difficult it is for people with less physical ability than her. Nowadays, even with the "handicap" parking pass displayed on the back of our rear view mirror, allowing us access to any parking space, I still feel a little guilty about using it sometimes, especially if MJ is not in the car.......are there people who need it more than us? Am I taking up a spot that could have went to another person with a disability? But glad that they are there.

Many museums and shopping facilities have wheelchairs to borrow! MJ and I "went out on the town" yesterday after she lived like a vampire/ hermit of not stepping outside of the home for many weeks, and we were pleasantly surprised at art museums that allowed patrons to borrow a wheelchair to wheel them around the facility, as well as Costco and Trader Joe's! Anything to get customers to buy things more easily I guess. The shopping malls have a go-cart like device where the shopper sits in a shopping cart and can drive themselves throughout the store, a little dangerous for cramped spaces like Trader Joe's but convenient for MJ to pick and grab as she's sitting .I think she thoroughly enjoyed that more than just regular shopping.

Having never got injured in my life (again, thankful for my circle of protection) I didn't put any thought into reasonable accommodations that stores and other places put for setting up ramps, elevators, etc. for allowing freedom of access for people with disabilities. There's apparently an evaluation of these places by people with disabilities as how "accessible" a place is, like if my apartment doesn't have elevators, it's not "easily accessible." It's like a Yelp review for facilities to treat people with disabilities, each place gets a grade of how "accessible" it is, and many people with disabilities will use this information to decide whether they go somewhere or not. I'm glad I got the experience to see the world from their perspective, and MJ apparently did so too........She got to appreciate art while sitting in a wheelchair being pushed around to different exhibits in an art museum, so she saw works of art at a different eye level than she would normally: It's amazing what can happen when you view a work of art, an idea, a person, or anything in a new light!

Scooter Infestation (스쿠터) (摩托车)

In the city of Los Angeles, there are a lot of hazards: too much traffic, the occasional earthquake, overeager officers policing the crosswalks for unsuspecting pedestrians who get stuck with a ticket for not knowing the jaywalking rules, dog poop on the sidewalks, and up until now, the biggest annoyance was the presence of homeless people in the alleys and just off the sidewalk, often getting in the way of ordinary citizens trying to get to work. There'd be plenty of times I had to step over a homeless guy lying on top of a heating vent because it got a little too chilly in the winter.

Now, though, a new menace has threatened Los Angeles and many cities throughout America: the presence of scooters. I don't say this just because MJ got into a scooter accident and now we both have a vendetta against scooters, although that certainly doesn't help its cause. It's the fact that when stationary, these steel beasts are just sitting in the sidewalk, taking up space and getting in people's way, and there's usually a bunch of them together, crowding the much-needed space like a conglomeration of Asian tourists except these beasts don't move away after a while; they stay permanently until someone rents them. And when they are on the move, these scooters are driven recklessly by drivers either in the bike lane, where actual bikers are trying to maneuver, or for more ignorant scooter drivers, on the sidewalk, where they are forbidden to be ridden.

During law school, our first semester legal writing class had everyone write a brief about a hypothetical fact pattern, and ours happened to be about an attractive nuisance case about a kid who got hurt biking on top of a sand dune. I didn't know anything about attractive nuisances before law school, but the hypothetical taught me about what constitutes an attractive nuisance, mainly that it makes a landowner liable if the injury is caused by an object on the land that is likely to attract children. The scooter is like an attractive nuisance for adults.......it's just sitting there tempting adults to get on it and go somewhere quicker.........not mentioning that it's very dangerous, it can cause more accidents, it doesn't tell you to wear a helmet.......pretty unsafe and pretty nuisance-like, if you ask me. I propose that the city of LA and other cities (I've seen people riding scooters in NYC, too, which is much more dangerous especially on the sidewalk with a much heavier density of pedestrians) reject the new business they get from allowing scooters on their streets and relegate them to the suburbs or safer areas. 

Today after talking to a co-worker I also made the revelation why I struggled to get better at playing the violin: I didn't like playing music by myself. It's a social activity: playing music with friends and creating music together is much more fun than trying to creak out something on my violin in my own room or basement, or on the piano. I was much more willing to sit through 2 hours of orchestra and band practice because we actually played the music together and I could have a sense of belonging, not just forcing myself to go through the motions of getting through an hour of violin practice at home. It just didn't agree me, and I finally made that realization half a lifetime later as my co-worker who plays drums described how every week he looks forward to meeting with his band. Of course he does! I would too if it was with my friends and we were doing fun things together! Like playing dodgeball, I don't really even like dodgeball that much throwing a ball against a wall by myself, but in a room full of sweaty bodies who are doing the same thing, I love it. - Note to remember for if and when we have kids.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Health Insurance (건강 보험, 健康保险)

Here I am, on a Saturday night in October, the epitome of entertainment and relaxing time in America, every able-bodied person is out and about doing something they love and making the most of their lives; just here in Durham, NC there were group outings in downtown and Halloween parties for Duke undergrad students; I saw one guy on the street walking around in a pretzel costume. Concerts are going on back in LA, it's a big college football day, the Yankees and Astros are playing Game 6 of the ALCS, and here I am writing about health insurance in my own home because I'm worried about renewing my health insurance now: my old Kaiser Permanente plan is increasing its rates by $90 a month ($90 whole dollars! That's like 7 Netflix subscriptions!) from $267 to $350.


And shame on me for not knowing this, but apparently health insurance doesn't cover you out of state, the only thing it does cover is emergency costs when being out of state. So as a frequent traveler to other states for work, it's recommended that I get "supplemental" health insurance or catastrophe insurance, whatever that means. A nd Kaiser, which is big in California, does not have locations in North Carolina or New York, two of the states I frequently find myself in. So I guess I'll be changing my health insurance next year.

Makes me wonder: what's better protection, the circle of protection I've been blessed with since birth that magically protects me against most illnesses and all injuries, or this flimsy health insurance I pay upwards of $3,000 per year for?

And $3,000 is just for me, it's not even mentioning MJ, who recently had to use her health insurance after suffering her injury.......luckily for us, we recently switched to her college insurance, which is much more comprehensive and covers more things than our old health insurance (the college took one look at our old health insurance and spat it out like an used car auto dealer rejecting a lemon). And even then we're still getting hospital bills for surgery, hospital stay, rehab, etc.........much less and definitely not catastrophic costs that we may have incurred had we had old flimsy insurance, but still costs.

Apparently, though, I'm not even paying that much for health insurance......the average individual healthcare costs $400+! This average is probably skewed by older people and non-healthy people, but still, $400! I'm already wincing and biting my nails (not a good practice, by the way, if you want to stay out of the hospital) over the move from the $200 region to the $300, but $400+ per month, do they at least throw in like a subscription to the Wall St. Journal or Amazon Prime membership or something? It is one of the main reasons I don't scoff at the idea when MJ proposes (as she often does) for us to move to Korea or some other country when we get older. Who knows what healthcare will be like in 30 years when we retire (if we can retire), especially with Trump taking years and plenty of political capital trying to repeal Obamacare, which itself took so much political capital and years to shove through the legislative branch. The congresspeople themselves don't have much personal incentive to pass healthcare legislation when they can choose a gold-level Obamacare policy and receive federal subsidies that cover 72 percent of the cost of the premiums; so they don't pay nothing but they definitely get good coverage for low cost. Meanwhile, here I am at the lowest tier bronze begging for scraps but paying for other people's gold plans. Congresspeople would probably work more efficiently if their healthcare premiums were making them drown as they do to many average Americans......$400 per month is like a huge percentage of one's net income.......(figuring maybe $4000 per month or $5000 month for the average America worker's salary?) it's like a 10% tax added to what's already being taxed. 

Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders have single payer health care reform plans, a noble cause, but a seeming pipe dream if it's going to cost "an eye-popping amount" in taxes ($34 trillion apparently) that would probably be more dead on arrival than an impeachment vote to convict President Trump in the Senate. After finally getting MJ back from the hospital and being able to reflect on her experience (as well as just now receiving some of the bills), it's just crazy how much healthcare costs are, how doctors and hospitals and insurance companies can get away with charging exorbitant rates. Two big no-nos in life apparently: Don't get involved in a lawsuit and don't get sick/injured. It will cost you. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

读万卷书不如行万里路 (Reading 10,000 books is inferior to walking 10,000 miles)

My wife MJ Lee decided to devote her career to nursing and medical care last year and we moved to North Carolina; today, another MJ made a contribution as well to medical care in America: Michael Jordan, yes THE Michael Jordan, announced he was building 2 medical clinics in Charlotte, NC. A very nice gesture by the basketball legend and something he wasn't seeking attention for, or getting good press, or some other ulterior motives, he seemed to be genuinely interested in giving back to underprivileged communities with inadequate healthcare. Often when current sports stars (like Lebron James) do charity work, I appreciate that they are doing things outside of just the sport they're engaging in but I do sometimes wonder if their motivations are genuine, and sometimes they seem misguided, something that was brought into focus one Lebron tweeted recently that Daryl Morey's Hong Kong tweet was "misinformed." Quite a lot of people got upset at LeBron for criticing Morey's freedom of speech and apparently backing China and the enormous amount of money and financial wealth tied to basketball in the country; Lebron was apparently "selling out" and turning his back on free speech. I'm not in the camp that says basketball players and other sports stars should just "play basketball" and stay in their lane, I think they have a very important role to play as leaders of communities and celebrities that children and young adults look up to growing up more than even presidents and world leaders can because of the cultural acceptance of being an international superstar (more people know Lebron than Democratic Presidential nominee frontrunner Elizabeth Warren, for example), so they have a responsibility to be a good citizen (unlike Charles Barkley, who famously said that "he's not a role model"). Lebron is generally a good role model and does great charity work, but he often takes positions on social media that are not all that helpful or impactful and sometimes even, dare I say it, "misinformed."

The title of the post is a Chinese saying that basically encourages one to experience life and see something for oneself instead of reading about it. It's a good philosophy in theory and really good for the travel industry, but now with Youtube and travel blogs and so many videos of so many places on earth, I don't know if people really need to go everywhere in the world or travel 10,000 miles, it could be just make 10,000 clicks. Especially with air fare and hotels and everything, it's expensive to travel to too many places. And people definitely aren't going to read 10,000 books in their lives anymore (by my rough estimate, I've probably read around 3,000 books in my life, give or take, and that counts my childhood years when all I could do was read books). One online publication I wrote said, "it's good to read 10,000 books AND travel 10,000 miles"- I actually do this and my most memorable experiences reading books are during vacation- I read "Murder on the Orient Express," a mystery novel by Agatha Christie, on a train somewhere, and I read Hilary Clinton's autobiography in my most recent trip to Korea/ Taiwan.

Nowadays, I wonder if there's almost too much of a backlash against books and traditional learning and actually sitting down and studying. Everyone's emphasizing hands-on, real experience, "finding oneself" that it might have gone too much the other way. Kids nowadays have these "Montessori schools" where they learn kind of what they need to learn when they want it, a free-flowing sort of curriculum, college students take many gap years and breaks to "find themselves" by traveling to other countries and experiencing other cultures. These are all valuable experiences, but if you're constantly doing this, aren't you just avoiding studying and responsibilities? There's a famous resignation letter by a teacher in China a few years ago where she quit her job by writing simply, "the world is so big, I want to have a look." It was a nice catchphrase and many people worldwide related to her sentiment because we all agree that we shouldn't be cramped in our workplaces and watch the seconds of our lives tick by and want to be free, experience new things, but now it's become a catchphrase among Chinese students when they want to skip school or just don't feel like going to school, they say, "the world is so big, I want to have a look." That's just shirking responsibility, so at that point the sentiment has gone overboard. Try reading one book before you go on that journey of 10,000 miles.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Disability 장애, 不自由, 失能

After being released from the hospital, MJ is doing her best at home, but a new term in the lexicon of words we use has emerged: "temporary disability." It's a difficult condition to accept, and the only saving grace is that hopefully the condition is temporary, but it emphasizes the fact that MJ is not able to do many things, causing her to often feel trapped and helpless. The Japanese call the condition something akin to "not free," which is interesting because it captures one of the effects of the condition: MJ cannot drive a car, cannot put weight on her right foot, cannot put on her own shoes, it's a very limiting condition and makes me realize I take all the daily functions I'm able to do for granted. It doesn't seem like a fair punishment for merely losing one's balance on a scooter; one of life's many mysteries and imperfections of why certain insignificant moments have such drastic and irreversible consequences. A person can work towards something all their life but lose it all in one split second, and vice versa they can have something happen for a split second that takes years and much of one's life to recover from. Whereas most good things don't come from just one instant moment, it requires years of training and hard work bit by bit to get something really good like marriage, graduation, or financial independence. (The stock market often works this way, it'll take a long time to go up bit by bit, but a huge crash can wipe out all those gains rather quickly). It's frustrating for me as the caretaker/ husband of the temporarily disabled person to see them struggling and getting frustrated all the time and know there's nothing I can do about it, and the mutual frustration that we both share related to the temporary disability is the indirect catalyst for arguments that we get into, even though it's neither of our fault that the accident happened. I can only be grateful that I've never really had something like this happen before, whereas some people experience traumatic events and limiting developments often like having a family member live at the hospital or lose something in an accident.......those cause even more ripple effects and tangential frustration for the family members. It's like the nurses often say at a hospital: "you think you have it bad as a patient until you see what someone else is going through."

There are many minor things that people who have disabilities suffer through that most able-bodied people don't think about. Just today, MJ and I went to a scheduled appointment at the Duke student health center but couldn't find a parking spot; there were also no handicapped parking spots so I had to drop MJ off neither the front entrance, but it still wasn't close enough so MJ had to struggle up a ramp to get to the front door of the building on crutches. It's ironic: in order to get treated for the disability, one has to do something that is limited by the disability. So now I understand why disabled people get preferential treatment, and really resent the people who abuse the disability placard to park in the spots when they don't need to. MJ and I just got one for us, and we will not use it after MJ gets better.

I now appreciate people who say they recovered from injuries and surgeries and the level of intensity of their recovery: it's hard work to recover. MJ goes through physical therapy seemingly every other day. It's not just "get the surgery, wait 3 months, sit on a couch or lay down in bed, and everything will magically be better." Sure, one's body is healing itself slowly during that time period, but the patient also has to make sure the injured area is back to operational mode, like working out on it and bending the knee often, or wiggling toes to make sure those are still working. All the while making sure not to reinjure the area and cause more damage. Oh yea and going through constant pain. MJ was telling me casually the other day how her pain is progressing from "stabbing" pain to "throbbing" pain and that it's actually a good sign, whereas I just thought about how painful just that idea was. My pain tolerance is not that high, which is apparently common for my gender according to the nurses we talk to: most of the macho men are actually the ones who react to the pain more dramatically and either cry or have some sort of breakdown, whereas the ladies are more tolerant (maybe because some women had already undergone childbirth?) I will admit I am a huge baby about getting shots, drawing blood, even going to the dentist, etc. I just don't like the idea of other people inflicting pain n me so instinctively I draw back and/or wince when a nurse sticks a needle or something, even if it doesn't actually hurt that much, the anticipation of it hurting actually has some effects.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Customer is King (손님은 왕이다)

In Korean there is a common phrase summarizing the philosophy of the service industry, which is that the "consumer is king." The employees working for the shopping mall, restaurant, hotel, or any other service industry should answer to all of the customer's needs as if the customer was a king, showing the level of politeness, accommodation, and hospitality that should be afforded. When I was growing up in America, this was the "customer is always right" approach that I heard of working at Jewel Osco as a high school student.

First of all, the customer is not always right; they are often wrong, but it's the philosophy of "whatever you say, we won't argue with you" and deference to the customer's needs and attitudes that is key in this customer service philosophy, which I think is missing in many service industries in America. The customer may be wrong, but it's up to you as the service industry employee to inform them in the most gentle way possible, or be flexible in how you deal with the customer's wrong idea, to best navigate the situation, not just give a blunt "no."

When I go to a sit-down restaurant, I often see pretty bad service, which makes me not want to go to sit-down restaurants anymore. I get that the waiters or waitresses are not the most motivated to be there and are not paid the best (some very little), but sometimes they also just do the bare minimum and just expect to receive a tip, almost like it's mandatory for me to give 15%-20% (now it's a minimum 18% at most restaurants, it seems like). For doing what? just taking our order and doing a routine "how's everything tasting" every once in a while? And I actually don't want busboys coming as soon as I'm halfway done with my plate to ask if I'm done with my food, I'm usually not and have to tell them not to take it, adding an extra complication to my dining experience, just that extra little pressure of having to explain that I'm not done and don't take it. Often, the attitude at a restaurant or other place where I pay them money to do something is like I need to show them respect to be there, or I should feel lucky that I get to dine on their food. Which is kind of the philosophy of France and Mexico and some other countries in the world, but not in Asian countries like Korea and Japan (where it really is like the customer is king) and as it's advertised in America based on the extra money we pay to the service industry (but not necessarily earned based on performance).

Recently MJ has been in the hospital, and although I'm not sure that nurses are required to be as courteous, respectful, and accommodating as those in the service industry, it's still important to make the patient feel comfortable and respected, in many cases even more critical because the patient can't perform certain functions by themselves like walk, use the restroom, or even eat any food. It's important to not make the patient feel uncomfortable in asking for help, which includes not being dismissive, hinting that the patient should go home soon, or that the request, no matter how burdensome, is fulfilled without question. MJ is a very sensitive person, so she can sense when people are being reluctant or unwilling to her demands, so she feels bad about asking nurses to help her using the restroom and cleaning up after her. Certain nurses were really upstanding and always willing to help at a moment's call, but some nurses at the hospital she worked at seemed like they didn't want to help that much, were grossed out about having to deal with her using the restroom (cleaning up after the body waster) and often seemed to just want her to go to sleep (MJ even suspected they gave her some drugs to get her to go to sleep a little faster), which is not OK but also just indicative of taking shortcuts. Unfortunately, that makes MJ less willing to ask for everything that she wants in the future, which is a failure for the service person, and unfortunately in a hospital she can't just opt not to use the service; at a restaurant we would just stop going to the restaurant and paying. It just seems like nowadays the service industry just wants to take as many shortcuts as possible and get the customer out of there with as little effort and in as little time as possible so that they can go back to looking at their phones or pursuing their own efforts. Me included, I work in the service industry too, the legal service industry, and I can say confidentially that lawyers charge a significant fee but then don't do as much work as you'd expect that large amount of money to provide.

So in general, I think the American service industry needs to pick up its game to keep up with other countries that do actually provide great service. Otherwise customers like MJ will stop asking for stuff and just not spend the money. Heck, many countries have service staff who speak English for American tourists! How many service staff in America can speak other languages? They just give you a dirty look, forcing the customer to have to try to speak the limited English that they have or just pull out money. As a customer, I should not have to try to work hard to make it work for the service staff, even if I'm as sensitive and caring about other people's feelings as MJ. The service people should make it as comfortable to ask for anything that the customer wants, and not the other way around.