Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Circle of Protection 보호의 원, 保护圈, 保護の輪

When I was a kid I was super nerdy and liked to collect Magic the Gathering cards, a type of trading card game that many fellow nerds of my generation know about. The cards all have a creature or spell or curse or wall or something magical on them, and they can used for combat, and the stronger the card the better. A very common card was called a "Circle of Protection" which made you immune to certain type of attacks, from "red" cards or "black cards." I always envisioned in my minds these circles of protection to be a magical ring or cloud that surrounded the user, there to protect whenever any threats came along. 

Well, in my life I've been super lucky in terms of health, never sustaining any sports injuries, never breaking any bones, never getting super deep cuts, never needing to go to the hospital or even get any stitches. The only thing close was getting hit by a baseball in the eye when I was 11 years old, but I think I just put some ice on it, slept for 12 hours, and started healing afterwards. Point is, I've been able to avoid injuries remarkably well for someone who has been pretty active. I theorize why I've been so lucky and usually conclude that A.) I had a lot of nutrition growing up and especially drank a lot of my milk so my bones are in great shape, B.) My genes are pretty good as no one in my family sustains any injuries neither, C.) I never try to go all-out and attempt things I can't do, once I feel like I might injure myself I stop, not falling for the "Just do it" slogans Nike created or my P.E. teacher's refrain of "mind over body" whenever someone couldn't climb a rope or do one more pushup; I always thought those were good ways to injure oneself, forcing one's body to do more than it can handle/wants to do. Finally, D.) I've had an irrational/ mythical belief that every mother gets a choice when they give birth to a child what distinguishing feature they'd want the kid to have, like Achilles's mom opted to give him invincibility and dunked him in the River Styx or some other mythical body of water to give him those powers, well I think my mom, instead of choosing fame, massive wealth, supermodel good looks, super intellect, or superior athletic ability, instead gave me the best gift a mother could, that of eternal (well, not eternal but lifelong) good health. Happiness and health, those are 2 things that every parent would want for their kids, and I've been very lucky to have those 2.

Well, this week especially I wish I could transfer my circle of protection to my dear wife, MJ, who suffered a broken leg falling off her scooter while getting to school, a very difficult experience I'm sure that's causing her a lot of pain and having to stay at the hospital all week. She's already been through one surgery and will probably need another one. Brutally bad luck, and I feel bad, but I feel even worse that I literally don't know what kind of pain she's going through; I've never experienced it. While MJ has gone through various hospitals in various countries over the years, the only time I've ever been to a hospital was when I was born (I don't remember it) and when my sister was born. Literally no other times, not even to see an ailing grandparent or something. Like I said, I've been super lucky. I wish I could transfer that circle of protection to MJ, like giving her the invisibility cloak in Harry Potter or something. I wrote earlier that being a law firm associate must be lonely, but being a patient at a hospital must be pretty lonely too: everyone out there in the world going about their day with freedom, while you're stuck nursing your sickness or injuries in a hosptial bed waiting to one day be able to be released and enter the outside world. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

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